Cullen looked up from his conversation with his Lieutenant when he heard Atashi's voice. She was speaking to Bull, who had only been here three months and had sent many of his soldiers to the healers. He could tell Atashi was happy to have another Qunari in the Inquisition, but her wonder diminished as soon as it appeared. He was nothing like the Qunari soldiers he's had the pleasure of speaking to, and beheading, and Atashi might even felt the same. She commented a couple times on their late nights up together that Bull was getting on her last nerve and she was going to kill him if he called her a savage again, but she never did - for sake of the Inquisition. She knew it was dire times of the Inquisition was agreeing to hire Bull's Chargers. He wouldn't mind beheading Bull for how much Atashi seems to get uncomfortable and rigid around him. She's lately been pulled Bull aside and speaking to him, quietly, probably for the sake of the others. but today was different. It was going to become a blood bath if someone didn't intervene.
"My parents aren't savages!" Atashi yelled, narrowing her eyes at Bull, "I'm not a savage!"
"History dictates that statement." Bull grumbled, glaring at Atashi, "Tal-Vashoth have terrorized Seheron-"
"Fog Warriors didn't terrorize Seheron! I—I—We—" Atashi huffed and shook her head, "They worked to make it independent from the Qun and Tevinter!" Atashi prayed to any higher power that Bull didn't notice her slip-up in words. If he did he didn't show it, he just kept glaring.
"You can hate me and my parents all you want, but we are not savages because we wanted to make our own path in life. My mother didn't like being a baker, she didn't like having to hide the part of herself that liked fighting and killing heartless pieces of shits like you. My father didn't like being Arvaarad. He didn't like going after Qunari who wanted to live their own god damn lives and not be dictated into a role they hated, he didn't want to be the owner and binder of a fucking mage!" Atashi's hands were balled into fists, "You've stated yourself that the Qun isn't for everyone! So why is it so hard for you to see that my parents wanted to live a better life and that they aren't savages for wanting that!"
"Fine," Bull shrugged, sighing, "They aren't the savage, you are." Atashi was about to attack the sarcastic piece of shit before she heard her name being called from the gates. She straightened up and looked towards the gate to see Varric, his worried gaze fixed on her.
Atashi turned her head back to Bull and hissed lowly, "I am not a Savage. If any Qunari here is a savage, it's you." Atashi turned on her heel and headed towards Varric. Bull rolled his eyes and shook his head, mumbling to himself as he turned back to sharpening his sword.
"—mander?" Cullen was forced to look away when his Lieutenant waved a hand in front of his face.
"Hmm?" Cullen looked at his Lieutenant and shook his head, "Oh, y—yes. Leliana approved of expanding the training ground."
"Right, Commander. I'll have some men start on that right away." His Lieutenant nodded to him and left, leaving Cullen to his thoughts.
She was going to regret this, she knew she was. Going to the Tavern while Bull was in there always lead to something bad, and she's positive Leliana wouldn't be putting up with her and Bull's shit much longer; But she desperately needed a drink after today's bullshit. Josephine with her Nobles and Leliana with her unloyal spies...the hell kind of Inquisition was this if no one was on the same side? Atashi sat at the bar, Bull and a few of her others companions sat near the rear door. She ordered some Mead and drank her worries and doubts away. She ignored the world around her, as best as she could. But there were some things she couldn't ignore. She noticed Cullen had moved into the Tavern, sitting silently near Maryden and scanning the room. She could hear the whispers of her companions that sat with Bull, hissing, laughing. She thought she heard the words Savage, but she's been hearing it so much lately that's the only words she seems to be hearing. And now she was hearing nothing. Atashi refocused herself, realizing that Maryden had stopped playing and that the tavern really had gone silent. Which means the word Savage was said and that Bull was probably being smug and waiting for her to react. She heard the title again and shut her eyes. Heavens, don't let this be like Seheron all over again.
Savage.
No.
Savage.
No.
A large hand was on her shoulder and she reacted without thinking, punching Bull square in the face and breaking his nose. She stood as Bull stumbled back, catching his footing before he fell on top of a table.
"No." Was all Atashi said before walking out of the Tavern. She paced around Haven for hours, her feet leaving burn marks on the ground that wasn't covered by snow. Small sparks of electricity danced around her and anyone who even walked within a foot from her got shocked. She couldn't calm down, no matter what she did or thought of, nothing could replace Bull's voice in her mind. Savage, Savage, Savage—
"Ah!" Atashi plopped down in front of the fire in a huff. The snow under her melted as her anger only grew. Savage? Savage? She was not a savage! Her parents were far from savages! How dare he! She should kill him, watch the life leave his eyes as he pleaded with her to—
Atashi pulled her eyes away from the fire as Cullen came up next to her, frowning when he noticed the foot of water from the melted snow around her. Cullen worriedly looked at Atashi as she froze the water, pulling her knees to her chest and turning her face away from him as he sat down.
"That was...interesting." Cullen grumbled, his lips turning to a frown. Atashi's knees pressed closer to herself, her head sinking further down into her arms. Cullen bit his bottom lip, rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, "Herald, I—"
"Would you stop calling me that!" Atashi's head whipped around towards him, tears pricking the corner of her eyes, "I am not the Herald of Andraste! I am a fuck up, a nothing! I am savage! That's all I'll ever be!"
Before Cullen could react, Atashi had pushed herself off the ground, her hands balling into fists and her vision blurry from her tears. She didn't look at Cullen as she walked away, but she whispering loudly, "Just leave me alone, Commander."
Cullen waited outside the gated in Haven, leaning against the bricks that held the stairs. How long does it take for a man to drink? Practically everyone in Haven was asleep by now. Why the hell was this damned Qunari still awake? Cullen looked up when he heard movement, seeing Bull stumble out of Haven's gates with a Chantry sister glued to his side. He didn't know how to feel about this sight, other than he wishes he wasn't seeing it. Cullen pushed himself to follow after Bull, clearing his throat and getting both Bull and the Sisters attention before they entered his tent.
"Iron Bull, correct?" Cullen walked up to Bull, his hand wrapped tightly around the pommel of his sword, "I don't think we've really had the pleasure of speaking privately before."
"Now isn't really a good time, Commander." Bull motioned with his head to the Sister that held onto his arm, "I'm sorta in the middle of something." Cullen eye'd the Chantry Sister, motioning with his head back towards the gates. She left in a hurry, her eyes downcast and her face red.
Bull growled, turning to Cullen, "You know how long it took me to convince her to—"
"Shut up and listen." Cullen hissed, taking a deep breath and glaring up at Bull, "I've had enough of your shit. Adaar has enough to deal with without you adding your Savage bullshit on her plate."
"'Sn't my fault she's a savage."
"She isn't a savage!" Cullen furrowed his brows. He took a deep breath and calmed himself, shaking his head, "The Inquisition is paying you to be here and the Inquisition won't be sad to lose a couple of pathetic warriors." Cullen's fingered tightening around his pommel, his teeth gritting together.
Bull's voice lowered, standing taller, "Is that what you want, Commander? For us to leave?"
"Oh! By all means," Cullen stepped to the side and motioned out towards the mountains, "Leave. Go. Scat. Run off and ruin the reputation you've created for your Bulls Chargers."
Bull narrowed his eyes and tilting his head down to look at Cullen, "You really think you can ruin the rep I've created for my men?"
"It isn't that hard, believe me." Cullen held back his anger, "Just stop the bullshit you keep pulling with Adaar and you'll have nothing to worry about." Cullen turned and headed for the gate before Bull spoke, "And why should I be so afraid of you, Cullen? I've heard things about you, interesting things, things the Savage might like to hear." Cullen turned back around, gripping the handle of his sword.
"Hmm...I wonder if she knows? You care for her, watching over her like you constantly do, but do you think she'll care for you once she hears that the Knight-Captain has slain hundreds of the people she came from? You think she'll be okay how you supported the Annulment of Kirkwall's Cir-"
"Enough!" Cullen lunged at Bull, quickly tackling him to the ground and pressing his blade against the Qunari's throat.
"You don't have the guts." Bull growled out, narrowing his eyes at Cullen but he didn't fight back.
"Like you said, Bull," Cullen spat out his name, his voice almost animalistic and his sword pressed against Bull's throat, "I've killed hundreds of your kind. What's one more head on a spike?" When Bull didn't react, Cullen removed his sword from his throat and sheathed it.
"You've been warned..."Cullen looked down at Bull, "And I suggest you take my warning." And with that he left Bull alone in the snow. A growl fell from his lips as he turned into Haven, his head pounding as another headache started to form. He need to get to sleep, now.
Atashi looked for Cullen in the morning, going over and over in her head how to apologize to him after her outburst last night. She shouldn't have jumped on him like that. He believes in this stuff, and the fact she keeps denying it when he's around probably makes him doubt in his Maker. That was the last thing she wanted Cullen to feel, doubt, uncertainty. Emotions no one should ever feel about something they believe so strongly in...or themselves.
"O—Oh!" Atashi finally spotted Cullen, standing with Lysette and a few of the other Templar's he survived the explosion of the Conclave, in front of Lysette's tent. Atashi hesitated, standing at the stairs just below the gates. Maybe she should wait for until Cullen was alone, maybe tonight? If he even decides to sit with her at the fire tonight. She nodded to herself and headed back into Haven, she still had things to go over with Josephine and Leliana before she leaves for the Fallow Mire tomorrow morning.
So, as Atashi suspected, Cullen didn't show up. She sat in front of the fire, playing with the flames, alone, for a few hours. She felt stupid, she should have known after last night Cullen wouldn't want to speak with her for a while. Atashi frowned, waving her hand in front of the fire and diminishing it.
"You aren't leaving already, are you?" Atashi turned her head to see Cullen walking up the stairs from where the tavern stood.
"C-Cullen!" Atashi failed at hiding the surprise in her voice, she turned back to the fire pit and started the fire again as Cullen sat next to her, "I didn't think you'd show after my behavior last night."
Cullen sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I—I wanted to apologize...I sometimes forget you're more than just the Herald…"
Atashi rubbed the back of her neck, a light blush brushed over her cheeks, "Cullen, I should be the one to-"
"How was he today? Bull, I mean?" Cullen cut Atashi off, looking back towards the fire, "He wasn't any trouble was he?"
"Ah, um..." Atashi furrowed her brows in thought, "He wasn't as bad as usual, to be honest. He only called me savage twice today." Cullen's eyes darkened and he hummed, standing up. Atashi raised her eyebrow in question as Cullen started walking away. He stopped short and walked back over to Adaar.
"By the way, Atashi…" Atashi's eyes widened as Cullen used her name, looking up at him. He leaned down and placed a kiss in between her horns, whispering loud enough only for her to hear, "You aren't a Savage." Cullen's words left tears pricking the corner of Atashi's eyes, her face frozen with shock as Cullen strode away.