Calvin and Hobbes: Gettysburg – A Crossover.
It was afternoon at Calvin and Hobbes' house, on a normal weekend. Normal for them at least. Meaning to say, on the verge of chaos.
"CAAAAALLLVVVIIIINNN!"
The next minute, Calvin, clutching Hobbes, tore down the hallway with his dad in hot pursuit, who appeared to have a sort of strange liquid covering his hair and shirt. Probably best not to know what that was.
"Run, Hobbes!" Calvin shouted, an instant before his dad collared him. "Augh!"
-8-8-8-
A few minutes later, in Calvin's room...
"Boy, your dad seems to get upset about everything, doesn't he?" Hobbes asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You're telling me," Calvin grumped. "He didn't even listen to our explanation of why the Super-Slime exploded."
"As usual, it wasn't your fault," Hobbes observed.
Calvin glared at him before going to his closet and after tossing several things out haphazardly, pulled out something else. A medium sized cardboard box. Also known as Calvin's time machine.
Hobbes' eyes widened. "Oh, no. Not again."
"Yes, again, Hobbes," Calvin answered. "I've had it with this tyranny! We're getting out of here for good! To a place where we can live by our own rules and never look back! To a place where we can be free! Where no human has ever gone before!"
"I seem to recall you saying that the last time you tried this stunt," Hobbes pointed out, raising an eyebrow.
"That was a different time! We change every day! And I've changed enough since then to know when I'm not wanted here! Now get inside the time machine."
In an instant, Hobbes was gone, leaving only a cloud of dust behind.
Calvin charged after him, screaming furiously at the top of his lungs... until they got to the living room. Where Dad was watching a football game.
He obviously didn't appreciate it being interrupted by the commotion of a six-year-old tackling a stuffed tiger and narrowly avoiding slamming into the TV set.
-8-8-8-
Once again, in Calvin's room...
Hobbes' claws scraped across the floor as Calvin dragged the tiger towards the box by his tail. "NOOOOOO!" he howled.
Calvin hefted him with a grunt and threw him inside. Hobbes tried to leap out, but Calvin got in his face. "We. Are. Leaving," he stated, a dangerous note in his voice.
Hobbes whimpered and ducked down in the box, after grabbing the pair of vortex goggles Calvin handed him.
"Let's go," Calvin said, donning his own goggles and revving up the time machine.
"Where to?" Hobbes asked nervously.
"The Triassic Age!" Calvin announced. "Hold on!" With a low rumble, the machine entered the vortex.
Hobbes slumped down in the box as they zoomed through space-time. "Couldn't we even have brought tuna?"
"Quiet, you," Calvin grumbled.
A few moments later, Calvin frowned. The machine was making an odd growling sound, one that he definitely hadn't heard before and one that any well-oiled, working time machine should not be making. "Hang on a sec…" The machine lurched to one side then and Calvin collided with Hobbes in the box. "Hey!" he yelped. "Bad machine! Don't do tha–aahh!"
The time machine began sputtering and the psychedelic patterns of the vortex blurred suddenly, seeming to mix with old photos, flashes of faces and places, all zipping by at 10,000 mph.
"What's happening?" Hobbes wailed.
Calvin struggled with the helm. "I don't know! Hang on!"
With a desperate cough, the time machine broke through space-time, hanging in the sky for an instant before plummeting towards the ground, smoke trailing from it and Calvin and Hobbes screaming. "MOOOOMMMMYYYYYYYY!"
-8-8-8-
The time machine hit the ground hard, plowing a furrow into the dirt. Calvin and Hobbes went flying. "Oof!"
Calvin groaned, rubbing his head as he spat out dirt and got up. "Hobbes!" he called, looking around. "Hobbes!"
A moan came from a nearby thornbush and Hobbes crawled out. "Oww…." Several thorns had embedded themselves painfully in his skin, despite his thick fur.
Calvin's shoulders slumped in a sigh and he moved over to the tiger, helping him pull out the thorns. Trying to, anyway.
"STOP PULLING MY FUR!"
"It's not my fault! If you'd stop moving for half a second, I'd be able to see what I'm doing here!"
"It hurts!"
"Hey, you had a bush to break your fall! I hit bare dirt! I'll be picking it out of my teeth for days!"
Finally, the argument settled down, miraculously without blows exchanged. Both of them were already too sore to start that. A small pile of thorns, tangled with tiger fur, was accumulated on the ground nearby.
When that was done, they both got up and limped around, both feeling their bruises. Hobbes, for his part, was bemoaning the numerous bald spots in his coat.
"This'll take WEEKS to grow back!"
"Hey, at least we're alive," Calvin grumbled a retort. He moved over to the crumpled time machine and stood over it, his face falling.
"Well? Fix it up and let's go home." Hobbes joined him.
Calvin shook his head, his expression full of dismay. "I can't… There's too much damage. Entire parts need to be replaced. And we probably can't get those in the Triassic Age or wherever we are…"
Hobbes' eyes widened. "So… we're stuck here?" he gulped.
Calvin nodded. "Wherever 'here' is," he answered solemnly.