Clarke Griffin was not a happy camper. Not that she was out camping; no, had she been, she would have been thrilled to enjoy the fresh air and the brighter night skies that the city's light pollution dulled. She would have the company of trees and running water, and assuredly a comfy spot to sit and draw the world around her, all in solitude.
Instead, she was at a party, on the promise that Octavia wouldn't drag her to another one for at least a month. Her best friend had developed a crush on another new man, and had insisted passionately that Lincoln was the one. Which honestly was pretty big for Octavia, given the woman had never really believed in that sort of thing before, which made the new boyfriend special.
Well, if only Octavia could make things official between them, which meant going to a lot of parties with him, and her requiring a wing-woman or sober drive home if things were to go poorly. Clarke had suggested a cab that first night Octavia brought her, but her best friend still seemed entirely distrustful of them ever since she woke up on a random doorstep in Annapolis one drunken night and a cab ride later. For good reason, Clarke supposed.
Still, it made things a little frustrating, often losing at least one night a week to Octavia's outings, and while she really did want her best friend to be happy, Clarke hadn't had a full weekend to herself in nearly a year. Which meant little to no traveling, no camping, no road trips down the coast, nothing that couldn't have her back in the D.C area within five or six hours. Clarke hoped Lincoln truly was the one, so that both her and Octavia's partying lives could take a bit of a break.
First, it had been some 'tall dark and handsome' dude; Adam, she thought, who toyed with Octavia for weeks until he moved onto someone else. Then it had been Jasper, who had been a nice change of pace aside from all of his parties making her smell like she'd hot-boxed for twelve hours straight, but he grew paranoid and possessive, and that had Octavia pulling the plug. A few others had briefly mixed in between Jasper and Lincoln, but the theme remained; there would be a party, and Octavia would need her to be there with her.
Which wouldn't have been so rough if her bestie would stick around out in the open, so Clarke could hang out with her for at least half of the night, but it rarely went that way. Not that Octavia was a bad friend, she was incredibly supportive and fantastic in just about every other way, so Clarke knew she didn't have much room to complain. It just meant that she'd rarely have a quiet weekend, and that her own dating life would tend to take a bit of a backseat. And most importantly, that their nights out together would rarely be spent together.
On the plus side, Lincoln's kitchen was fully stocked (and expressly made available to her for driving Octavia all the way out to his place for the fifth straight weekend), and since most of the partygoers were out back by the bonfire, or in the living room playing drinking games, she was set to make the most of it.
It didn't take long to find all the ingredients she needed, and soon Clarke was brewing up her homemade hot chocolate recipe, because Lincoln's place was very nice, but it had poor insulation, and the late autumn chill had a managed to creep inside to some degree. Clarke had planned ahead with her favourite sweater dress and thermal leggings, but unless she went and tossed on her parka, she knew her clothes wouldn't keep her as warm as toasty as she'd like. Thus, hot chocolate.
It didn't take long to finish, but when Clarke went to grab a mug, she was met with a predicament; Lincoln's mugs were all criminally tiny. Everything was standard size, and that just wouldn't do, so she grabbed two and filled them both, topping each off with some marshmallows and took an extra cinnamon stick for a straw. Satisfied, Clarke held both protectively, deciding to avoid the living room and instead try her luck out on the front porch, knowing it wasn't much colder outside than inside.
However, when she neared the hallway that linked the kitchen and the foyer, the blonde couldn't help but overhear a tense conversation nearby that likely meant Clarke would have to figure out another way outside, or a new destination altogether.
"...and you know it meant nothing to me, Lexa. She meant nothing, not like...not like you do." One voice spoke, tone slightly frantic and pleading. Honestly the guilt was downright palpable, and Clarke couldn't help but fill in the fairly obvious blanks.
"Luna, you have to stop. It's over...we've been over for weeks, and the least you can do is leave me alone after...everything. Okay?" Clarke heard a slightly lighter, firmer voice grit out, each word flinty yet clearly a facade to hide the emotion behind them. Clarke heard a brief rustling of fabrics and a light thump that had her peeking into the hallway, spotting a taller, raven-haired woman holding a gorgeous brunette up against the wall.
Or, well, perhaps it was more accurate to say that the taller woman was clinging to the brunette hard enough to press her against the wall, more than anything else. By the brunette's clenched jaw, closed eyes, and white knuckles balled into fists at her side, it was clear that the taller woman's clinging affections were more than a little unwelcome.
"Lexa, come on, I know you, and you know me...we can get through this. We love each other. You can't let one mistake break us apart..." The taller woman spoke in a voice that had made gains in confidence and sensuality, pale hands grazing up and down the brunette's sides. "...I know you walked all the way here like usual, so why don't we go warm up in the shower together like old times? Or head back to your place to get reacquainted?"
The brunette let out a sharp exhale and pushed this 'Luna' away. A little more gently and hesitantly than Clarke likely would have, but it still had the taller woman teetering on her heels for a moment. "I said no, Luna." Lexa ground out carefully, only for the taller woman to move closer and grab for the brunette yet again, prompting the woman to slap her hand away. "I said NO!"
Now, Clarke could tell this situation was clearly personal as hell, and the brunette was handling herself well enough, but this 'Lexa' person was clearly getting upset, and the 'Luna' woman was clearly not willing to let this go without something drastic getting in the way. And it all brought up memories of how Finn was to her months ago after Clarke broke up with him, and how he'd practically stalked her and ruined a whole lot of days and nights before she'd managed to get him to respect her restraining order. No one had come to her defense then, not during his random appearances at her work, or at the grocery store, or on the walk home.
And honestly, maybe it'd backfire, but Clarke saw an opportunity to keep a night from being ruined, and she took it, stepping into the hallway with a concerned frown plastered on her face.
"Lexa? Is everything okay?" She called out, swiftly earning the attention of both women in the hallway. Clarke expected one of them to say something, anything, but deafening silence stretched on, compelling her to keep up the charade. "I heard your voice, and since I know it's cold outside, and I was already making some, I figured you could use something warm to drink after the walk over."
It was a sacrifice, to be sure, handing over one of her delectable cups of hot chocolate, but it seemed to shake the brunette from her daze, the green-eyed woman staring at her with intense confusion as she accepted the mug.
Clarke had hoped that her mere presence would dissolve the situation, but Luna was glaring at her with fury in her eyes, and that smelled a lot like figuring out a 'Plan B' to the blonde.
"I'm not sure if you noticed, but my girlfriend and I were talking, so you can get the hell out of here." Luna growled as she grabbed for Lexa's hand, only for the brunette to swat it away again and step closer to Clarke, eyes clenched shut and swallowing hard.
And maybe Lexa would have eventually spoken, but Clarke could see the pain flash across the brunette's face, and it just didn't seem right to wait and leave the woman to deal with it alone, so she fixed a hard gaze on Luna and stood her ground.
"I'm not sure if Lexa told you, before you apparently ambushed her by the front door, but our plan tonight was for her to walk over around nine-thirty, I'd be waiting on the front porch with some hot chocolate for us, and the two of us would take it from there." Clarke stated coolly, before sparing a lingering glance at Lexa, who looked like she was realizing the out Clarke was offering. "Way to be aggressively punctual, Commander." Clarke added with a teasing smirk, taking a little inspiration from the military-style jacket the brunette wore and clearly hadn't had the time to fully remove before being accosted. It was a bit of a gamble, but Clarke hoped a slight shift in tone could help things de-escalate.
"Like I said last time, arriving fifteen minutes before expected isn't being early, it's being on time." Lexa shot back with a quirked eyebrow and curious eyes before taking a sip from the mug, her eyes immediately bulging. "This is really good."
"I told you it's better than store-bought. But no, apparently you had to bet me that it wouldn't stack up against those single use packets you get. Can I chalk this up as a victory under the glorious banner of Clarke Griffin, or do I need to let you finish the mug before you concede defeat, Commander?" Clarke rattled out, hoping the back and forth banter would send a more prominent hint to Luna to leave them be, and that at least Lexa would know her name if it needed to be used.
Lexa's eyes narrowed at the blonde as she brought the mug to her lips again for a longer taste, some marshmallow foam and cinnamon on her upper lip remaining afterward. "Sometimes we must lose a battle to win a war, Clarke." The brunette spoke almost teasingly, with a somewhat suppressed smile curling at her lips.
"Oh my god...you two can't be...Lexa, you're dating again? Already!?" Luna exclaimed, voice growing angrier and shriller with each passing second. "Not even...not even NINE WEEKS and you've picked up some blonde to shack up with! I can't BELIEVE you!"
The taller woman dashed into the foyer and out the front door, the clacking of her heels almost masking the sound of hitched breathing and hardly suppressed sobs, but Clarke couldn't feel too bad when the brunette's antagonist was gone. Besides, the woman had made an enormous leap from playful banter to assuming they were dating; not exactly a hallmark of a strong mind.
Clarke looked back to Lexa, who was leaning against the wall, brow furrowed and eyes closed, clearly not the happiest person in the world, but Clarke understood that these types of situations weren't exactly happy or easy to handle.
"She thinks we're dating." Lexa let out, voice suddenly sounding so rife with exhaustion.
"I'm sorry...I tried to play the friend-to-the-rescue role first, and then gambled a bit in acting like we're a little better acquainted than we are in hopes she'd back off." Clarke's words didn't seem to be any comfort to the brunette, who let out a frustrated sigh. "I mean...it could be worse, right?"
"Not really, no." Lexa's stiffly voiced words kind of hurt, because Clarke had tried to make things better, and hearing that she wasn't remotely successful? It had her thinking that maybe she should have just backed off and returned to the kitchen to down a few mugs of hot chocolate by her lonesome.
In fact, that seemed like a good 'Plan C', so Clarke let out a regretful "I'm sorry" and slowly made her way back toward the kitchen, where the rest of her hot chocolate was keeping warm on the stovetop. She took a sip from her cinnamon stick straw and wished the drink's deliciousness could chase away her regret, but it just wasn't happening. Maybe another sip would help.
"Clarke..." Lexa called out wearily, footsteps softly following Clarke into the kitchen. "It's just...I'm thankful you managed to get Luna to leave, but...you've also managed to complicate matters."
Clarke topped up her mug and filled another, decorating it with more marshmallows and cinnamon before moving to the kitchen table, looking to Lexa to see if she'd follow. It seemed like the brunette was going to hit her with a sit-down type of discussion, so the kitchen table seemed like a good enough option.
Thankfully, Lexa sat down across from her, sparing a slightly befuddled glance at Clarke's second mug before continuing. "I dated Luna for five years. We were...very serious, if I can spare the details." Lexa added, prompting Clarke to offer a nod in acknowledgement and acceptance. She didn't need the details, just enough to figure out a way to fix things. Clarke wasn't a fan of causing messes and leaving other people to clean them up. "A few weeks ago, I caught her cheating on me with her professor, Ms. Frost."
Clarke let out a sad sigh at the sight of those green eyes going glossy, and quickly chugged her first mug of hot chocolate, really needing a bit of a boost to not rush out and yell at Luna that flings with professors pretty much never last, and that no one with a heart tossed a five year relationship away for that kind of shit. Seriously. Clarke didn't even know Lexa, and knew she deserved way better than getting treated like that. Heartbroken over that.
"She's been calling me, texting me, coming by my home for the past few weeks, trying to get back together with me since I broke up with her. I've avoided Lincoln's parties ever since our break, knowing she was his cousin and he can't exactly keep her away from here. She'd been quiet for the past three days, so I thought it might be nice to get out and see him and Anya again for the first time in a few weeks, but...well, you saw what happened." Lexa continued sadly, clenching her jaw again and staring out the window toward the backyard and the bonfire. "I've been starting to move on, to let go. I planned to focus on myself for a while...and then you came in and ended up convincing Luna that I'm dating again."
Clarke let the puzzle pieces click together in her mind. "She's going to tell Lincoln."
"And Anya. Both of whom have been pushing for me to find someone new to help move on from Luna. And while you seem nice, Clarke, and not that you've legitimately offered, but I don't think I particularly want that right now." Lexa noted with an apologetic smile that really wasn't necessary. Clarke knew the road to hell was paved with good intentions. She totally understood where Lexa was coming from, having gone through a veritable 'Griffindependence' period after Finn for about three or four months.
"I totally get it, you don't have to apologize to me. I've never had a five year relationship, but I've had some serious ones that ended badly, and I went the solo-route then. It helped." Clarke said with a reassuring smile that at the very least had Lexa seeming a little relieved. Enough to drink from her mug again. "And look, Luna saw us all friendly and stuff, right?"
Lexa nodded silently, clearly curious as to where Clarke was leading the conversation.
"So maybe this was a trial date for you tonight, to see if you were ready for that. And you and I gave it a shot, but you're not ready, and at the end of the night, we agree to stick to being friends?" Clarke offered up, hoping her simple but effective solution would help make things right. Lexa's shake of the head had those hopes shattering.
"Anya and Lincoln have been...persistent. They will eventually find us and hound me to...pursue you." Lexa's sad words matched her downcast expression, those big green eyes staring at the table as if it could give her a solution to all of her problems.
Hell, if it would make Lexa smile, Clarke was pretty sure she'd do whatever she could to solve her problems. If that meant using her IOUs to keep some well-meaning friends of Lexa's off her back, so be it. The downcast woman across from her deserved some good fortune, she figured.
"My best friend has been making me drive her out here at least once a week to spend time with Lincoln. It's earned me a spot in his good books, AND I practically own Octavia from all the favors she owes me. With the right word, I'm sure I can get him to back off, and maybe pressure Anya to back off too." Clarke added, nearly allowing herself a smile until she saw how increasingly ashen-faced Lexa was getting as she spoke.
"Clarke...I do not understand how you believe this will help. If you know Lincoln, then we cannot have had a tremendous amount of history together. He will pick up on this, see you as a fresh face for me, and push me toward you. Especially if he trusts or likes you. Ever since Octavia came around, he's been far less of a hopeless romantic, and more of an obnoxious romantic. He will not back off." Lexa stated with a deep sigh, clearly losing hope that this would end well.
Clarke took a moment to think up all that she knew about the situation, trying to figure out a narrative. Jasper, back when he'd dragged her and Octavia into the occasional Dungeons and Dragons session, had told her that to create a believable character, they had to fit the environment and the scenario, so that the group could band together without conflict and move forward together. It had Clarke thinking back to the conversation she'd overheard, a light bulb clicking in her head as her dormant drama instincts kicked in.
"Lexa, you live close by, right?" Clarke asked, drawing a confused nod from the brunette. "Four weeks ago, I went out to catch some fresh air by the front porch, and play on my phone during my second time here. The bonfire was huge that night, and I didn't spend a lot of time out there. Octavia even managed to notice from her spot on Lincoln's lap."
"Clarke if you have a point, I would prefer you get to it before we're ambushed by my two closest friends." Lexa let out quickly, clearly a little frustrated. And alright, maybe Clarke took her time setting the scene.
"My point is that instead of playing games on my phone, maybe you came by here, but you changed your mind when you got to the front porch for some reason. And I'm pretty nosy, and I definitely wanted some company that night, so maybe I called out after you. And maybe we got to talking, and while you didn't say much, maybe it was enough to spend a few hours together enjoying a budding friendship. I'd go back to the party for a minute or two here and there to check on if Octavia needed me before returning with something for us to snack on, or drink." Clarke explained, Lexa catching onto her ploy early on, eyes growing wide with understanding and a glimmer of hope.
"Perhaps we exchanged phone numbers and talked on our phones and Skype. Lincoln and Anya know I've rarely been anywhere outside of my home or work since the breakup, and...well, that would help establish us unquestionably as having been friends for some time." Lexa added with slightly redder cheeks, looking to Clarke seemingly in hopes she could confirm that.
Clarke nodded and allowed herself a smile. "I'm usually in my room when I'm home, and my computer's there. I've been painting far more than I've been on my computer, but Octavia wouldn't be able to tell the difference since I keep my door closed and use headphones. So that works. And while I've spent the past few parties here inside or at the bonfire more than out front, I have spent some pretty big chunks of my nights out there. And maybe you'd meet up with me at a certain time each party, and we'd see if you'd be ready to go in and deal with the masses and your ex, or if we'd stick around out front. That would work with the fake plan I told Luna about."
Lexa nodded furiously, a slow, small smile spreading across her lips. "And with all the pressure Anya and Lincoln have been putting on me to date, maybe I asked you earlier this week if...were I to feel up to being here at the party...you would be my date. You, as my friend who I've slowly become friends with, and who has become aware of my situation to some degree, accepted and laid out the same plan as before, but with hot chocolate."
Clarke leaned back in her chair and shrugged. "Hey, if our first date isn't out at a restaurant or out for coffee, then the least I can do is get you something homemade to make the night special."
Lexa's small smile broke out into a grin, the woman staring down at her mug. "I do buy those single-use packets, you know. I quite like them, but I can concede that your recipe is better, Clarke."
"Well, that's officially one battle to nil for me, Commander. So thank you." Clarke noted with what could probably be described as a shit-eating grin. "And hey, if they ask why they didn't know about me...or if O asks why I didn't tell her about you...we have an out. You didn't want to get their hopes up in advance in case you didn't feel up to it tonight, and I wanted to respect the fact that you asked me out, but told me that might change the day of, knowing you might not be ready."
Lexa downed the rest of her mug, her eyes slowly narrowing at Clarke, a curious glint shining in their green depths. "Clarke, I can't help but ask why you're willing to sacrifice a night for me. And more...this would mean you must remain as a friend of mine."
Clarke allowed that overlooked fact to hit her smack-dab in the face, and took a moment or two to process. Which didn't take long, considering it had been easy talking with Lexa, the brunette had been friendly with her, and there was clearly an appreciation for her hot chocolate. That was enough for a bedrock foundation of friendship, at least in Clarke's eyes.
"Well, with Octavia close to dating Lincoln, I'll be spending more time around here, and it'd be nice to know someone in his friend group so I'm not entirely bored when I roll D.D. at these parties full of strangers. And the company of a Commander could definitely be interesting, so I think I'd be up for that. Would you?" Clarke asked simply, watching the brunette across from her closely.
Lexa thought for a little longer, and perhaps a little harder given the furrowed brows and bitten lip, but the small smile the brunette wore as her expression cleared said enough. "I think I would."
Clarke shifted her chair back and got to her feet, grabbing both empty mugs. "I figure we can do this, then. But in the meantime, would you like some more? I made enough for a few more refills."
Lexa's smile growing ever so slightly wider was, again, answer enough.
A/N: When I was brainstorming writing exercises to get back in the saddle, I couldn't help but linger on the fake-dating trope, and I thought stepping out of my comfort zone into a new, if familiar fandom would work. I made slight adjustments to better fit the modern au, and while I can't say I feel confident having their voices down, especially given this is an AU and a writing exercise with a strict time deadline for myself, I'd like to think this wasn't a terrible start. It's been interesting feeling the characters out, honestly. This will fit well as a romance, but there will be some angst and hurt/comfort bits here and there where appropriate. I more or less winged this, so the story's not as well structured, and doesn't have as good of a flow as usual IMO, but I wasn't particularly focusing on that while writing. Like most of my one-shots, this was an exercise
Fear not, anyone in my usual readership, I'm not ditching Pezberry full-time. This was a writing exercise, me wanting to push out a story in a single sitting and get more confident in my ability to churn out words again without over-thinking and second-guessing myself all the time. It, however, turns out that this mini-fic kind of works a little better in chapter format given it splits Clarke's night up into four pretty even quarters (at least, that's the feedback I got). Which also gives me time to finish editing the remaining chapters properly. The story's finished, either way, and I'll update once a day until all chapters are released.
And maybe I'll dip my toes into Clexa again in the future, or perhaps some Anya/Clarke...hrm...either way, I do enjoy the 100, and its fandom.
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, the fic's title is from Tinashe's (excellent) song Bated Breath, which I thought fit in some ways.
Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed the first part of this mini-fic! Thank you for reading!