The Party
Clare
It's always fun to go to a party right? Well, I wasn't too thrilled about going to this one. My boyfriend, Jake, made me come. He told me that it would help me loosen up a little bit. He claims I have been too stressed out lately. This is honestly, the truth. I have been stressing over studying for my finals, which are thankfully over! So, that means that summer has just begun and no school for the next three months! I'll be a senior in high school next fall and Jake, my boyfriend, will be going off to college.
So now here I am, standing in the middle of someone's house, surrounded by intoxicated bodies, while my lovely boyfriend is god knows where getting high. Jake has been basically ignoring me since the minute we arrived at this stupid high school party. I even dressed up for him, but he ignored the apparent change in my appearance.
Instead of my plain look of blue jeans and a tee shirt, I now have on a short white skirt and a light purple tank top that shows a little cleavage. My auburn hair is in loose curls around my shoulders. I even put on some light purple eye shadow and black eyeliner along with a soft red lipstick. But Jake never took notice. Others at this party have taken notice of how different I do look tonight though.
At one point I could have sworn that I Eli, my ex boyfriend, catch a glimpse of me when I had passed him and our friend Adam in the kitchen earlier. He looked confused and I thought I saw a little bit of pain on his face. Adam didn't see me, or so I think he didn't, but I'm sure Eli filled him in.
My head is already starting to feel fuzzy. The three cups of the pink concoctions that are sitting on the table in the kitchen are getting to me. I honestly don't care what's in them as long they numb my mind.
All of a sudden, I feel a tap on my right shoulder. I turn around to find Dallas, who's a complete asshole, standing behind me with some stupid grin plastered on his face.
"What do you want Dallas?" I ask with irritation.
"I'm just so amazed by the fact that while you're looking so damn fine right now, your boyfriend is nowhere in sight." Dallas cockily says while still grinning.
"And why take the sudden interest in me? Look, all I want to do right now is drink myself into a drunken stupor. I didn't even want to come to this stupid party anyway. I got all dressed up for nothing! Jake sure as hell didn't notice! Just leave me to drink alone!" I wine while slurring here and there.
"No pretty girl like you should be drinking alone by herself. Let me get you another drink, or a shot perhaps?" Dallas suggests to me.
"You're not going to leave me alone are you?" I say with a huff.
"Nope. Now, come on. I'm sure your boyfriend won't mind if I take care of you for a while." Dallas still has that damn cocky grin plastered on his face.
"Oh what the hell." I grumble as I follow Brian back into the kitchen.
There are people everywhere in the tiny kitchen. I don't recognize anyone, but one person does look familiar. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but I think he might be from my English class. There are bottles of all different colors, sizes and shapes lining the counters. I eye a blue tinted bottle with a picture of what looks like a white cloud, but I guess it's supposed to be whipped cream. I pick up the bottle and open it to smell it. As I take a whiff of the contents, my nose wrinkles up and I start to cough.
"Not a vodka girl?" I hear a voice beside me speak.
I turn my head and it's the guy from my English class. I stare at him wide eyed for a second before I can think of a response.
"Ummm maybe? I don't drink much really, or get out much at all. I've always been taught that underage drinking is a sin. Well here I am. I'm a sinner." I let out a loud laugh at that thought. "I never thought that this would be so funny! Wow! I was always the good girl, but here I am! Alright, I need a drink, or shot, or something." I declare to this mystery guy.
"Well what would you like? There's also beer in the cooler. By the way, my name is James." My "mystery" guy introduces to me.
"Okay, James, what would you suggest that I should drink?" I sweetly ask.
"Hmm have you ever heard of a redheaded slut?" James asks me.
I shake my head no.
"I'll make you one. It's a shot." James informs me while he goes to get what he needs.
My mind starts to wander as I wait for James to make me my shot. I think about where Jake is. I wander if he's off hooking up with some other girl at this party. Is the girl even pretty? Is she worth his time? I know Jake isn't worth my time anymore. I start to think about Eli and Adam. I know I saw them somewhere in here a while ago, but I haven't seen them since. I start to regret breaking off my friendship with Adam after Eli and I broke up. I now regret even breaking up with Eli.
"Here you go one redheaded slut." James says bring me back and handing me the shot glass.
"Thanks." I grin as I tilt back my head so I can pour the liquid into my throat.
Eli
"Dude, did you see Clare earlier? That is for sure not the Clare I once knew. I'm getting worried about her man, she's changed." Adam tells me with a apprehensive look in his glassy eyes.
I nod my head. "Yeah man, I saw her." I said a little too biter than I intended to.
After Clare and I broke up last year, she hasn't been the same person. She used to be happy. It could have to do with the fact that her mother passed away a few months after we had broken up. And I'm pretty sure it has to deal with Jake ignoring her constantly as well, and I'm not talking about just tonight.
"Someone's getting a little protective over someone else's girlfriend." Adam jokes as he nudges me in my right rib.
I shrug my shoulders. "I just hate to see her act this way. I know for a damn fact this isn't Clare, and I can sense that something isn't right. I can't approach her, because she might just chew me out. She'll probably tell me that it's none of my business and there's nothing that I can do to help. Man, did I really fuck up." I breathe out and then take another drag of my cigarette.
"I know what you mean. I can feel that something isn't right either. I haven't really talked to Clare in weeks. She started to grow distant towards me after she started dating Jake." Adam rambles as he finishes his second or third beer.
"What was that about me and Clare?" Jake says coming out of nowhere.
"Whoa, take it easy Jake. Just calm down man, and take another toke." I say to Jake, whose eyes are so bloodshot and half closed.
"Fuck you Goldsworthy." Jake spat at me.
"I think someone's a bit paranoid here." Adam jokes with a smart smirk on his lips. And in return, it earns him a punch in the face from Jake, and Adam only starts to laugh.
"You've got issues man. You might want to keep it together before your girlfriend catches you beating on her two former best friends." I slyly say with a smirk of my own.
Jake then let's go of Adam and focuses his attention on me.
"Yeah, and guess who had to pick up the pieces after you broke her heart? Me, I had to. Who was there to dry her tears? Me. So, you know what Goldsworthy? You can just butt the fuck out. You weren't there when Clare was broken and hurting." Jake growls defensively.
I almost start to laugh at Jake's little pathetic speech.
"She still is hurting asshole. If you can't see that, then you really are dumb." I spat back while putting out my cigarette.
"You've got a mouth on you, you know that don't you little shithead? I know that girl better than you ever did. So don't you dare tell me how my own girlfriend is feeling. I don't give a shit about you and your friend here. Clare is my concern only. Do you understand that? So back the fuck off." Jake demands as he grabs a handful of my shirt to bring me eye level to him.
I start to laugh at Jake's pity attempt of intimidation.
"Oh yes sir. I understand perfectly." I raise my right hand to my temple and make a salute. "That you're a fucking dick." I add.
"You little.."Jake starts, but then Scarlett comes outside and spots Jake and I.
"Jake! Let him go!" Clare yells as she approaches us and boy does she look pissed.
Jake lets go of my shirt, but quickly punches me in the mouth before Clare reaches us. I only begin to laugh harder now. Man, I could use another beer. Clare stumbles her way over to Adam, Jake and I with a drunken scowl on her face.
"Hey there babe, how...How much did you have to drink?" Jake stutters as Clare steps right in-between Jake and I.
"No, don't you dare call me that pet name! You don't deserve to call me that anymore! You abandoned me! You have been ignoring me ever since you picked me up from my house and brought me to this stupid party! I dressed up for you, and you don't even fucking notice! I never drink, but tonight you drove me to drink! I have lost count of what all I have had to drink so far. And I don't really give a shit. I finally find you out here and Adam has a swollen eye and Eli's mouth is bleeding! What has gotten into you? Why are you acting this way?" Clare screams at Jake, who looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
I silently applaud Clare for standing up to Jake, but I'm also reminded of her speech the night we broke up.
"I…I…I can explain." Jake stutters once more.
"Save it Jake. I don't want your explanation. I'll find my own way home when I'm ready to leave this damn party." Clare sternly tells Jake and then she turns her back on us and reenters the house.
"That was something…"I trail off while watching Clare walk away.
"Yeah, I've never seen her snap like that before. It just about scared me though." Adam remarks as touches his left eye and winces at his own touch.
"Whatever, this is bullshit." Jake mutters as he walks away to somewhere outside.
"Someone can't handle his own medicine." I joke as I wipe my mouth and notice the blood on my hand. "Damn, this is going to feel great tomorrow." I grumble under my breath.
"Oh you'll be fine. I'm the one who's going to wake up with a shiner. Your mouth will heal faster than my eye. Speaking of war wounds, I could use another beer after all of that excitement." Adam says while rubbing his hands together.
I nod my head. "Yeah, I could use a few more after all of that." I say as I make my way back inside the house with Adam right behind me.
"Don't let Jake get to you man." Adam says to me as he pats me on my back.
"It's not Jake its Clare that's making me uneasy. Something's just not right. I think that her fight with Jake is only the beginning of tonight. I honestly don't want to know what is going to happen next." I say as we make our way into the kitchen.
I go towards the beer cooler and take two out and hand one to Adam. I then see Clare out of the corner of my eye and take notice that she's taking shots with some guy that I don't recognize. I'm not sure if it's that I still care about Clare, or what but I'm catching myself having all these over-protective thoughts about Clare lately. And I have a girlfriend! Speaking of her, I wonder where she is, I know I saw her around here awhile ago before Adam and I went outside.
Adam
I notice Eli staring off in the direction that Clare is in. I shake my head and roll my eyes. I take a big gulp of my beer and it eases the pain from my left eye.
"Dude, let it go." I say to Eli as gently as I can.
"Let it go? Adam, she's not acting right! There's something not right! Am I the only one who sees this?" Eli shouts.
"Eli, calm the hell down. Everyone can hear you man." I try to rationalize with my crazed best friend. I place the cold beer bottle to my swollen eye and take a deep breath. "She just needs time man. So she's getting a little out of character. She needs to let off some steam, so just let her do what she wants." I try to reason.
"I'm just worried about her Adam. I know the signs of self-destruction."Eli says more calmly than before as he goes to grab another beer.
I haven't thought about that. Is Clare trying to self-destruct? Damnitt Eli, now you're putting thoughts into my head! I chug the rest of my beer and go to grab another one, and I bump into someone on my way to the beer cooler.
"Sorry." I mumble.
"Adam?" the redhead asks me.
I look up and come face to face with Eli's girlfriend.
"Izzy? I didn't know you were here at this party." I said as I grab my fifth beer and chug it with ease.
"I originally wasn't planning on coming, but River asked me to come. I actually ended up running into some old friends, but um have you by any chance seen Eli?" Izzy asks of me and then scrunches up her eyebrows. "What happened to your eye?"
I take a sip of my beer. "I got into a fight with Jake, Clare's boyfriend. He apparently didn't like my joke too much." I pause and take a big swig of my beer. "And Eli got punched in the mouth. It was actually pretty funny. You see, Jake basically dragged Clare to come to the party tonight. She got all dressed up and then Jake just ignores her the whole time. Then she starts to drink a lot. Meanwhile, Jake is trying to act like he actually gives a shit about Clare, but it's obvious that he doesn't. So Eli and I were trying to make Jake see how much of an ass he really is. That's how I got my black eye and Eli got punched in the mouth. Oh yeah, and Clare came outside and saw everything and freaked out on Jake. I honestly don't even know if she broke up with him or not." I spill to Izzy. I then finish my beer and go to grab another.
"Well that explains some things, but my other question was if you knew where Eli is." Izzy asks me with a dramatic sigh.
"Check outside. He might be out there." I suggest.
"Thank you." Izzy says as she walks away from me.
A lot of people seem to be walking away tonight.
Izzy
I thank Adam and head for the backyard of this house. I did spot a very drunk looking Clare dancing in one of the rooms with a plastic cup in her hand. The sight of her almost makes me want to reach out to her, but I know damn well she'll just push me away. And that's exactly what Clare does. She pushes people away when she needs them the most.
The two of us used to be really close friends back in elementary school. Once her parents decided to get a divorce and then her older sister had died in a car crash, she grew distant from everyone around her. She stopped talking to me all together after a while. I knew she was hurting, but she wouldn't let me help, or be there for her. Clare and I just drifted apart.
I find Eli leaning up against a tree in the backyard, smoking a cigarette. His eyes, from a distant, look lost and distraught.
"Hey." I approach softly and carefully.
Eli turns his head in my direction, but doesn't respond. I can see the traces of dried tears on his face. His eyes are red and extremely glassy. I want to hug him, but I don't know what my meaning behind it would be. Will it be sympathy? Or comfort? I'm not sure which. So instead of a hug, I place my right hand on his left shoulder.
"Adam told me what happened. I understand Eli what you're going through. Once upon a time I had to watch her do the same thing to me, except for the whole drinking part. It's painful, I know. We were just kids back then, but we're older now and she has to grow up and make her own decisions. She's damaged Eli, and I know you still care about her." I say as calm as I can manage, but Eli still won't respond.
I then remove my hand from Eli's shoulder. "Say something Eli! Don't stand here and give me the silent treatment! Look, I know it sucks to see Clare do this to herself, but there's nothing that you can do! Snap out of it and get over it. She won't let you help her. You're better off just forgetting about her babe." I seethe with my arms crossed over my chest.
Eli then pushes off the tree he's been leaning against and looks me straight in the eye.
"Forget? Are you fucking high Izzy?" Eli lets out a mocking laugh. "Maybe she wouldn't listen to you, because you didn't try hard enough! You gave up on her! I actually want to help her, but everyone keeps telling me to leave her alone! Clare is in there self-destructing herself, and I'm the only one who can see that! I won't let Clare push me away a second time." Eli spat at me with his voice laced with venom.
"Fine. If that's how this is going to be Eli Goldswprthy, I guess there's no more reason for me to stick around. We are done." I say, and then turn to walk away. And as I head to the back door that leads to inside of the house, I look back at Eli. He's back to leaning up against the same tree, smoking another cigarette.
"Goodbye Eli." I whisper as I reenter the party.
Once I get back into the house, I'm tempted to do three things. First, say something to Clare, she's basically the reason Eli and I just broke up. Second, tell off Adam just like I did to Eli And lastly, I just want to drink more and forget about everything.
Clare
Right now, everything is spiraling out of control. I've left my sanity behind. It's all a blur now. I can't remember how many drinks I've had by this point. I remember smoking something that just made me giggle. I can't even recall why I'm dancing right now. I forget the name of the boy that I'm dancing with. I feel all warm and sweaty. I've got my arms wrapped around this boy's neck while he's got his hands on my waist and our bodies are so close together. I can smell his sweat from this proximity.
I do remember Jake abandoning me and just about breaking up with him. I can somewhat recall Adams black eye and Eli's bleeding lip.
"Excuse me; I need to get some fresh air." I mumble as I maneuver myself out of the boy's arms and head for the back doors, and I unfortunately run into Jake.
"Getting a refill, or running away?" Jake grabs me by my arm, blocking the entrance to the backyard.
I glare up at him and my vision has become so blurry by now.
"No, I'm going outside for air. Now, let go of me!" I protest, but I stumble backwards.
"Yeah, you've had way too much to drink tonight. I'm taking you home." Jake says as he starts to drag me in the opposite direction of the backyard.
"No! I am not going anywhere with you! Let go of me! Let me go Jake! Just let me go!" I scream as I finally make my way outside, and tears start to fall down my face as I enter the backyard.
"Scarlett, you're not stable right now."
I spin around on my heels at the sound of Jakes voice.
"You don't know what you're saying, let alone doing. Just let me take care of you. You're my girlfriend and I …I love you. Please, Clare, just let me take you home." Jake pleads with me.
"You love me?" I shout and scoff at that pity line. "You don't love me Jake! If you loved me, you wouldn't have abanded me tonight! You would have showed me more fucking respect in general since we started dating if you loved me! You didn't have to do what you did to Adam and Eli! That was disrespecting me when you did that. You hurt me all the time, but you don't know you're doing it. I can't do us anymore Jake. I can't be with you. Please, just leave me alone. Just go." I'm in hysterics by now, but I find a bench to sit on so I can stable myself on something solid.
Jake lingers outside for another minute before he disappears back inside the party. As I sit here on this bench, curled up on my legs, leaning against the arm, I spot Eli in the distance leaning against a tree. I have a sudden urge to get up and go run to him for comfort, but I don't know what his reaction would be. Would he recoil from me because I've hurt him in the past? Or would he welcome me into his arms for a comforting hug? I have no idea what to do, so I just remain on this bench until I can get my head to clear up.
My tears have somewhat stopped, but I'm still sniffling. Oh, what did I get myself into tonight? I know that I cannot be alone with all that I'm going through and dealing with, but I can't seem to keep anyone around me long enough. I always end up pushing everyone away when I need them to stay. That's why right now I long to reach out to River. I crave reassurance and sincerity.
"Hey, are you okay?" asks a soft familiar voice.
I look to my left and notice Adam standing next to the bench I'm currently curled up on. I try to give him a weak smile, but I start to cry again.
"Not really Adam. What is wrong with me?" I wipe away some of my tears, but they just keep on coming. "I don't know who I am anymore." I cry.
Adam takes a seat beside me and hesitantly wraps his arms around me. I'm grateful for his gesture and lean my shaking and sobbing form into his.
"Clare, you just have a lot going on and you're struggling with how to deal. You do know that Eli and I still care very much about you. We want to be there for you. I know in time, you'll eventually work everything out on your own. Just pace yourself."Adam gently tells me as he holds me.
I slow down my tears and sobs as I lift my head up to look Adam in the eye. I try to smile once more. And before I can thank Adam, Eli approaches Adam and I.
"Hey." Eli awkwardly greets with both of his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans.
I look up at Eli and see his eyes filled with sorrow. He even looks like he's been crying. I can see the traces of dried tears on one of his cheeks and his eyes also look red and puffy. I have never seen Eli cry before, or look this crestfallen.
"Hi." Is all I can think of what to say back. I start to sit up straight and I get a sudden head rush and get so dizzy that I end up losing my balance and fall off of the bench, but Eli luckily catches me somehow. I then close my eyes shut.