A free bird leaps

on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wing

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

You've probably heard of me as evil, deceptive, sadistic, many names of maliciousness. I can assure you that I am not, or at least less than I am painted out to be. I have a heart, too, and I am not just a horned Capricorn who revels in death. I do have wings, I am an angel. I cherish life, because I was never given one. I was thrown into a burning pit to rot. The worst part about it wasn't the torture. It wasn't the fire. The sounds of screaming souls. It was being alone. Do you know how hard it is to not hear the sound of another's voice for millennia? You probably don't care. You probably are thinking right now, "Well, doesn't he deserve to rot?" I deserve no more than anyone else.

So little do you humans ever hear both sides of the tune. You just listen to the song sung the loudest, and ignore the one sadly sung by the one with the horse, raspy voice; the one who tries to be heard, who yells through his cage and calls for reason. If it isn't easy to comprehend, you just move along in the crowd of empty thoughts. You do not think of others, you do not think of compassion, you do not think of reason. You think of yourself and your rulers. Have any of your kind stopped to think of me? Did any of you ever hear my sad song?

No, you haven't, to answer the question. That is why I am here; I would like to explain myself. It all started long ago, too long to put into numbers. It was the time of my birth, when the first angels were created. We were the Arch Angels. At the time of my creation, though, it was only me and Michael. I will tell you that I looked up to Michael; he was my older brother and always knew everything. Anything I asked him he would give a swift answer, never hesitating to tell me anything. We trusted each other, we always had each other and we had love stronger than anything you humans have ever felt. This love, however, was nothing compared to that of my Fathers. I loved him above all, as do I still.

Most of my early years were spent with Michael in the Garden of Eden. We would spend our time under the trees, plucking the ripe fruit off and eating them. My job was the garden, it was my happiness. I would create new plants and tend to the old ones. Michael was eager to see what new plants I would construct, and would always gawk at their beauty. It was happy, my early years, and even some of my later ones. At this point, I knew little about my responsibility and would just enjoy every little moment with Michael; little did I know that my duties would later keep me from him.

One day while in the garden, I was sitting under a pear tree, thinking about a rose. It was a new idea I formulated, and I knew Michael would be fond of it. One of the reasons I created these plants was for him. While doing this, I saw Michael walking towards me from the corner of my eye. I turned to face him and I saw he was carrying a bundle of something. Curious, and wary of the object, I walked over to meet him. As I approached him, I saw that in the bundle was a small child. Michael had a wide smile on his face, so I decided that this child was a good thing. "His name is Gabriel" Michael told me, "He is our new brother"

I was pleased at this, I loved this child and I took him into my arms to get a better look at him. He was beautiful. He had bright brown eyes that etched love and compassion. He looked up at me and we stared at each other, silently learning of each other. From that moment on I knew he was my responsibility. I saw all of the great things he was capable of. I saw the warmth and hope through his eyes.

Though I was still learning myself, I taught Gabriel everything I knew, which of course Michael had taught me. Michael found it amusing that I insisted on teaching him, but I assured him that I could do a good job at it. So Michael stood back and watched, coming to help only if I needed it. Gabriel grew fast, his heart becoming warmer with every day. That, however, was not the only thing that grew. His mischievous nature got us into a lot of trouble.

One day, after a good chat with Michael, I headed back to my garden. It came to me that I hadn't tended to the roses in a while, so I headed in that direction. I saw it before I got there, a pile of petals and flowers next to the bush. Someone had picked all of the roses of the bush. I immediately crossed Michael off the list and figured it was Gabriel. I confronted him, and he claimed it wasn't him. I then had a long discussion about lying, and how it was a sin. Though I had no anger in my words, Gabriel cried. I felt bad, so out of the fruits and the cane sugar, I created sweets and gave it to him. He was, after than point on, addicted to the things and had me make them frequently.

As for the roses, well, I put thorns on them. And the next time he did it, I also put thorns on them. That's why cactus and pineapples are thorned. Michael was displeased with that, telling me there were better ways to teach him, but Gabriel no longer did harm to my plants so I didn't care what he said.

One of the best days of my life was when I discovered music. I was shown a lyre by Father, and he told me that I should learn how to use it. I spent most of my free time trying to figure out how to get each note to fit together in the perfect melody. In no time it became second nature to me, I was coming up with new songs every week. With this knowledge, I was given the title "Angel of Music"

/\\\

Gabriel was no longer a small child when Michael came with the next one. She was very beautiful as well. Her eyes were dark, but the warm kind. I held her, and felt the same affection as I did with Gabriel. Gabriel was wary about the new child, but I assured him that she would be a great addition to the family. Her name was Raphael.

I was correct, she was loved by all and we had many great moments with her. This time, Michael made it his duty to raise her as he did me, for I was still teaching Gabriel. Gabriel was a now slow learner, not because he was not smart, but because he was not focused. He was concerned with everything but responsibility. He was curious about the garden one day, then the stars the next. The most prolonged curiosity, though, was earth. He was fascinated by the animals and oceans. I promised him I would take him down there once he learned to fly, which was our lesson for the day. I hastily agreed and we went on the lessons.

I will tell you now; Gabriel is still scared to fly to this day. I told him that I would be behind him, but he needed to jump off one of the clouds. He clutched desperately onto my robes whining that he was scared. I decided I would teach him the way Michael taught me, so I picked him up and dropped him off the cloud, hoping instinct would kick in. It didn't.

Gabriel fell into the garden, hitting branches of trees as he descended downward. I rushed over to retrieve him, and he was a crying mess. I comforted him and tried to get him clean up. On the way out of the garden, I was confronted by Michael. He looked at Gabriel, then me, then back at Gabriel and demanded to know what happened. I looked up at my brother, guilt adorned my face, and I told him what happened.

Michael did not get angry, for anger was not a concept we knew very much about, but he was disappointed. He told me that I needed to think before my actions or the consequences would be great. Michael took Gabriel and tended to him as I lurked in the garden, thinking of my wrong doings. I had sworn to protect my brother, and now he was injured, and worse, Michael was disappointed.

The next time I saw Gabriel, I took him to earth as I promised. I picked him up in my arms and I flew him down. It was hard, carrying someone all the way down, but I always kept my word. When we got there he was stunned by all of the plants. They were much cruder than the ones in the garden, being large and leafy. I explained to him that the Garden of Eden was holy, and needed to show it. Later, I learned that my plants where put into the world to be shown.

Anyway, he was delighted to see all of the creatures. At this time, there were only the fish in the sea. He was none the less fascinated. He ran around the plants and he would play with the fish. I told him he shouldn't do that, but he didn't listen. The best part was when it started the rain. We were both surprised at the phenomenon. I knew what it was, but had never experienced it; for Gabriel, it was completely new. I explained to him that it was how the plants got their water, and he calmed down a bit. He then had the largest smile I had ever seen. He began to run around and play in the water. I smiled and watched, the innocence in that child was wonderful. We later went back to heaven laughing about the day we had. Michael greeted us and we told him about it.

/\\\

New angels seemed more common after a while. First were Metetron, then Balthazar and countless others. All four of us had grown up and people looked to us for guidance. The strangest day of my life was when Michael began looking to me, as well. He had raised me, and now we had become equals. I was who they all looked to, I was the one they seeked when they had doubt. This is when my responsibility began. I realized my true purpose.

You see, Angels were created as messengers as God. I wasn't, though. I was something else. I was created as an ambassador, assistant so to say, of God. I had to be created perfect in order to be in the presence of Him, so my intellect and beauty was far greater than the other Angels, and they all knew this. One day He spoke to me, and told me that I was to accompany him in the throne room of heaven, so I hastily agreed. I never disobeyed him or misjudged his guidance for he was the most perfect. Again, being created as an assistant, the Angel of worship, I had to understand his intentions. I was like no other Angel; I knew why God did what He did. I believe this is why they looked to me for guidance.

The day I told Michael of my new duties, he was very proud of me. I was glad, too, and was very excited that I was chosen to do this. From this point on, I spent most of my time with Him, and every second I had with my brothers was cherished, for I did not see them very much anymore. I will not tell you much about my time with Him, because you would not be able to comprehend it. Considering you can't even see or hear an Angel, I think it is safe to you will not understand it even if I simplified it.

One of my most prominent memories was when Castiel was born. I was walking from the library and I was going to greet my brother, but I saw him with a child. I walked over to him curiously and asked him who it was. Gabriel looked up at me smiling and said "His name is Castiel, isn't he just perfect?" I was happy for Gabriel. He had finally found some responsibility. The two of them became incredibly close, and Gabriel decided that he would be the one to raise the fledgling. From what I've heard, the two of them frequently went to earth together.

One of my discussions with Father was about bringing life to the land. We both thought it was a good idea to expand His creations. We thought of making a fish have a genetic mutation, giving it the power to pull itself on to land and being able to develop from there. Those of you who don't believe in evolution, ask yourself, how long was a day for god?

That brings me to the next point. Castiel was one of the first Angels to see it happen. With Gabriel, the three of us went down to Earth and we let him play at a beach. Both he and Gabriel where surprised to see a fish pull itself onto land and I simply told Castiel as he began to poke at them "Don't step on that fish Castiel, big plans for that fish."

Life was soon adorned on earth, only the small creatures though. Then they began to "grow" in size. After the extinction of the dinosaurs, we decided that no creature should be that size. You see, the dinosaurs were kind of our "mess up". That's why we had the meteor hit them to start from scratch, creating something better.

Soon, the creatures were no longer just on earth, but in my garden too. Only a select few resided there, only the ones I saw worthy. Birds flew from tree to tree; deer and rodents ate from the low plants. It was beautiful, and many Angels came into the garden to enjoy its beauty. It was no longer Michael and my special place together, it was for everyone.

In order to be alone, Michael and I created a special grove in the garden where we closed it off to any other Angel. It was a rose garden with every color possible, since roses were created for Michael. We would spend our free time there, which was seldom at all. We would sit in each other's arms like we used to, enjoying the others company. Humans show affection in other ways, no we were not romantic, just brothers.

One day while speaking with Michael, I realized how little we knew of each other. It seemed as if our times apart lead us to separate. I cried over this, and Michael tried to assure me that it was nothing, that we still were brothers and were very close. I trusted him and returned to my duties with his promise on mind.

After a while of solitude, I began to think a lot more about myself. My distance from the other Angels had me realize something. I was far greater than them; I was far more perfect than them. I knew much more than they did, and I had a job to show for it. This led me to question things, to question God sometimes. My arrogance was peeked for I believed I was perfect, even as perfect as Him. I admit, this was an irrational and overindulged way of thinking, but I was in my late teen years for an Angel. It was only natural that I believed I was better than my parent. I didn't know at the time that this pride would lead to something so irreversible.

The next time I spoke with Michael seemed like ages had gone by. I was much more mature both in appearance and intellect. He had changed too; he was not as sweet and nurturing as I remembered him to be. His atmosphere was one of business and urgency. We were no longer the four little children who roamed the heavens. We were now leaders; we were people who were sought out for in times of need. The weight had changed us both, for the better or worse, I'm not sure.