Immortal Love

Smith was sitting in a 'nameless' building, mourning. It was his fault, his fault that his dear Neo was gone. An image of Neo clad in that black shirt and suit flashing in his mind. That night with Neo looking up at him, hopeful that he would agree to a dance. Since we were so good at fighting, surely it wasn't hard to dance a tango. They were so alive that night, and so free, free to admit that he loved him.

The memory of Neo wouldn't leave him and he laughed aloud at the bitter 'irony' of last night, unknowingly startling passers-by.

Flashback

Neo and himself as he sneaked up behind the pretty One, laughing as the man jumped.

The rain struck as Neo turned to him, "Smith, dear God, knows I missed you."

"Hmm, I didn't know you thought so highly of me, love."

Dark-eyes lighting behind dark-glasses, "Smith, being arrogant does not equal being a God."

He ruined the serious moment by laughing as he replied, "Then Neo you must be quite the humble God. At least in looks, pretty boy."

His love taking off the sun-glasses to give him a disbelieving look, before a slight kiss, then saying, "I am not pretty. Nor am I a God."

As if to emphasis the last statement Neo suddenly doubled over - a harsh, pained sound leaving his throat. It made him stare, a sense of 'calm' dread washing over him as he gently straightened the cassock-clad form up. Rain poured over the pale downcast face and washed away blood.

"Neo ?", when he asked, despite his trying not to, he couldn't help ending the name on a higher octave.

He didn't know what was wrong, Neo wasn't supposed to be able to get sick. 'It's not possible, their supposed to be perfect. Neo is perfect.' Neo fell suddenly, pulling him down too. The man looking up at him, something...unusual resignation and sadness, even in those few seconds he knew; knew, but denied.

'No, no ! Not possible, impossible, it can't be real. This can't be happening !'

Neo murmured, "It was inevitable.", as he closed his eyes and put his head down on the street.

Before this second he'd never thought those words would be damning. Suddenly, he wished that he had never said them. If they had never been uttered they couldn't have mocked him now. 'How could he have been sick? How did I not notice ?'

Still shocked, he exclaimed, futilely, "Neo ! No, no, please. Please, no, no, Neo don't leave me."

Leaned down over his love and lifted the black-haired head gently. Ran his fingers through rain soaked, black-hair, down the pale cheek to his throat. A false hope that maybe it was just temporary, like the first time, but no - no pulse, no life and no more love. Somehow he knew Neo wouldn't be coming back this time. A last even softer kiss than their first.

'If I had known what it was maybe I could have stopped it. I could have, I should have noticed something. It's my fault he's dead.'

End Flashback

Nothing could ever make him remember how he had gotten to this building. Slowly, he got up and left walking aimlessly. That again, startled passers-by and relieved the security guard who no longer had to potentially deal with the very scary and also slightly crazed looking man.

To Smith, Neo's death seemed even less real than last night. Always it had seemed that Neo wasn't, "Only human.", like the Agents had always said. Neo had always seemed like some sort of immortal, nearly beautiful enough to be an angel, his immortal love.

"Always, Smith, always. No matter what we did, what we will do or what will happen. Call love the only immortal, my love." Those words as he looked back on them were Neo's trying to tell him without obviously doing it and making him worry.

It seemed as though Neo should have come running up, jump-flipping over him and laughing at his surprise. 'Why had I always been surprised ?', startled himself to see that it was dark. He didn't want to see the stars as he realized that he was standing in front of the old hotel. When had it gotten dark ?

That reminded him of the first kiss, here, he was standing right here in front of the green-walled Heart O' the City Hotel.

Flashback

Brilliant daylight as Neo ran up with three vampires on his trail. Neo, when he was spotted, ran to duck behind him, warm hands on his shoulders, desperate, "Smith ! Help me."

'Desperate enough to not care if I ask him to kiss me ?'

Grinned as he stated, "For a favor."

Neo panted before huffing, "Fine, whatever."

It took mere seconds for him to copy over the vampires and turn back to Neo. The look on that pretty face suggesting he wondered if he'd made the right decision. As he walked up to Neo, that look turned wary.

Then it turned to shock as he ran a hand over the back of the pale neck as he leaned in, with plenty of time for the human to run away, for a soft kiss. Still those hands landed on his chest in surprise, those big, dark-eyes shocked. 'Who wouldn't want to kiss him ?'

Before Neo could say anything, he turned and walked away.

End Flashback

'Why didn't I savour those moments ? Easy, I thought I would have them until the Matrix ended.' Of course, he was wrong and the memories were bittersweet. Slowly, he realized that he'd wandered to the graffiti-covered walls and florescent lights of Balboa Station.

Flashback

He'd just watched Neo cough up a bit of blood onto the beige floor. There was no sense of accomplishment because Neo was dying, only a sense of self-loathing that he had to kill him. Neo wasn't just some rebel, Neo was too pretty and too skilled to be random. Something somewhere had to have set it up. Watched Neo get up in a halo of light, a warm feeling that the man wouldn't just give up and die. While that feeling also had him snarling at himself because he couldn't disobey - hating the System. Hating them for making him hurt Neo and hurting himself as he did.

End Flashback

Love and sadness that was what had made him realise it. When he'd killed Neo, it was sadness because though he'd loved Neo, he'd had to kill him. His pretty boy, so brave and strong that he hadn't run in the station until he was sure he couldn't win, going against himself, against the System so well. He'd thought to himself, 'If he can do it, why can't I ? After all, I've got nothing left to loose.'

Realized that he now sat on Balboa's floor and that he was staring up at the steps. They had walked up those steps together only one time. Not rushed, not hurried, slowly, happy that they didn't have to pretend anymore.

'If I had known...what if I could have done something ? Could I have saved him ? We should have had until the end. I loved him and I couldn't save him, I couldn't do anything.'

Finally, he broke down from all the memories, crying about all the happy and sad things that had been theirs.

A soft whisper, "Neo, I love you.", wondering if somewhere he could hear it.

The image in his mind, Neo and himself walking up the stairs; Neo looked over his shoulder at him smiling, an equally soft answer of, "I love you, too."

Yet again, people were startled by Smith, this time by the ecstatic laughter that emanated from the abandoned station because of his Neo, his immortal love.

Author's Note: So, did Smith snap, is it actually Neo or both ? That's up to you my dear readers, all up to you. If you want review-post your reasons/ 'alternate' endings for why you think he's crazy, why you think it's actually Neo or both.

Either way, thanks for reading this...so backward or forward ?