A/N: Idek... 3 am... I was talking about gratsu to my friend she asked what would happen if they found it. this was born. wtf. ok. right. read if you must
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, nor do I own it's characters. I don't own 'Hide and Peek' either, it is by Wild Rhov, highly recommended if you ship gratsu (It is an M rated fic, mature content, yaoi)
So yeah...
It was a pretty normal day.
Natsu was sat at home with this laptop thingy Mira gave him. He was 'scrollin the net' on some weirdo website called Fanfiction where loosers with no life (like Lucy) post all sorts of crap about TV show, books, and, you guessed it, real people.
"So, douchedick, what the hell are you doing?" Gray sauntered into Natsu's front room in nothing but his boxers.
"Shut the fuck up ice princess, I'm checking out this new fanfiction thing Mira wanted me to check out, apparently Lucy writes stuff on here." He frowned, "And what the fuck are you doing in my house?"
He was ignored.
"Wow, wait a sec, is that our Guild name?" Gray shoved a greasy finger at Natsu's pristine screen.
A loud shriek erupted through the house. Outside a startled bird fell off a branch and threw itself into the sky and away from the offending noise. That poor, poor innocent bird.
"What the fuck was that, ass-flame!?"
"Don't touch the screen you uncultured swine." Yeah, never touch new stuff that Natsu had just received, you'll probably loose a finger or a boob or something, "Huh, it is!"
Gray then proceeded to smack his head against the table. So, after scrolling and reading fanfics for like 10 hours the two finally paused to comment.
"Wow, stop." Gray reached for the mouse.
"gET THE FUCK OFF MICHELLE ICE-DICK."
"Okay, I don't know what's worse, the ringing in my ears or the fact that you named your mouse."
"Wait, what are you doing- why is your hand on my hand." Natsu stared vehemently at the icy hand covering his. If he focused really, really, hard, Natsu bet he could've set Gray's hand on fire. (But ya know, that takes effort, and brain cells... neither of which Natsu really cared to use.)
"Get the fuck off my hand before I KO you."
"SHUT UP FLAME-FACE." Gray screamed.
"WHAT THE HELL, GET OFF YOU PERVY STRIPPER!"
"Shut your mouth for 5 seconds you piece of shit and look at this." Gray, having clicked the link by now, grabbed hold of Natsu's head (no he did not note how surprisingly soft his hair was... shut up)
"What," Natsu growled, "am I looking at?
"What the fuck is 'Gratsu'." Gray, again jabbed the screen, earning and ignoring a pained howl from Natsu, "There."
"What-su?" He was promptly karate chopped on the head.
"Gratsu you shit-head." Gray corrected, the ever practical one.
"DON'T CALL ME A SHIT HEAD, ASSWIPE." Natsu bellowed, grabbing around behind him in an attempt (key word: attempt) to cause the black haired douche some hindrance.
"Shut up and read, bastard." Gray sneered, earning a half-assed punch to the gut.
"Don't order me around."
"Just do it you lazy ass fire breath!"
There was a pause. A truly blissful pause, in which, Gray believed, for a moment, that Natsu had done what he'd asked and was reading. His dreams were royally crushed, however, 2.5 seconds later.
"Fine, jeez, don't get your dick in a twist." Yep, that was the sound of his dreams being crushed.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Gray began to read. He read for about half a minute before questioning, "Dude, is this about you and me?"
"Yeah... I think it is." Natsu scowled in concentration.
Ahh, thought Gray, The male dragon-ass, concentrating in it's natural habitat. A true wonder and rarity.
He glanced back at the screen, "Bitch you just punched- oh, nah it's ok, I owned you."
"NO WAY I OWNED YOU!" Natsu screeched.
"Surreeee." Gray rolled his eyes and flipped his hair, "You and who's army?" His question was followed by a smug silence, "That's what I thought."
They, again, sat in silence, the only sound in the room was shallow breathing and the monotones whirring of the laptop. As eyes travelled the words on the screen, Gray leant closer to Natsu, so close - in fact - that if he had wanted to, he could've leant his head sideways just a tad and be resting his head on Natsu's shoulder... Not that he thought that. Obviously.
"Wait..." Gray frowned, re-reading the last paragragh he'd just read.
"What the?" Natsu seemed just as horrified.
"Holy-,"
"WHAT THE CHEDDER BISCUITS DID I JUST READ!?"
"Chedder- never mind, wHAT IN HOLY HELL. DID YOU JUST KISS ME!?"
"Nah, I'm pretty sure you kissed me." Natsu frowned defensively. The defensive little prick he was.
"No, scroll up. You kissed me." Gray stated.
"Tch, did not."
"Did you seriously just say 'Tch'?" Natsu answered with a flipping off. Well fuck him then!
Gray snorted, "No look, 'Natsu's eyes smouldered with a heated gaze as he shoved Gray up against the Guild wall' hold the phone, you did this in the Guild? And you call me an exhibitionist 'leaning forward to sneer out, "Shut the hell up, you Ice Bastard." And before Gray could so much as utter a word back, Natsu yanked his chin up, smashing their lips together.' See, you kissed me."
Gray gave his ever most cocky 'I'm-a-bastard' face, as Natsu had named it (He was fucking skills at naming shit. Like his cat. Happy. That's a pretty sick name), earning nothing more than a silence and a weirded out look from Natsu.
"How the hell did you say that so casually?" He questioned, "And why the fuck would I ever kiss you?"
Gray scoffed, flipping his hair (what was with that?) "Cause I'm a sexy ass beast that's why."
"Whatever."
A few minutes of silence followed.
They looked at each other, then away.
...
They looked at each other again, seemingly at war with their minds.
...
"EW NO WAY WOULD I KISS YOU!"
On the other side of Magnolia, Lucy, after having a nice, long, relaxing bath, was sat at her desk. New laptop out and read to write. No Natsu to steal her bed, no Gray to sleep in her bathtub, No Erza to scavenge through her underwear draw and no Happy to call her fat and ugly.
This was the life.
After a few moments of staring at a blinking curser, Lucy groaned, way too quiet!
"EW NO WAY WOULD I KISS YOU!"
On second thoughts, quiet was nice.
They sat in complete shock for a few minutes. Natsu exited the story and scrolled up to the filters section of the page, "You... Wanna read more?" He questioned uncertainly, now there's something you don't see everyday. An uncertain Natsu.
"NOPE." Gray was obviously lying, "Never again."
"Pfft, me either." Natsu gave a nervous giggle-like snort, "Like that was seriously messed up."
"Yep." Gray nodded, "Some messed up shit."
...
"You know it couldn't hurt." Gray reasoned, "I mean, it's not like it's actually us..."
"No way." Natsu agreed.
"So it's not weird. Right?"
"Right."
"Cool."
"Yep."
"My neck hurts." Natsu raised an eyebrow.
"Sucks to be you?"
Gray snarled slightly, "That was a hint idiot."
"A hint at what? Did you get bitten by a vampire or something?" The pink haired numskull seemed interested now.
"Yeah. I got bitten by a - NO YOU FUCKING MORON, I'M UNCOMFORTABLE."
"DON'T YELL AT ME!" Natsu yelled, Gray just glared at him, "Well what do you want me to do about your neck? Give you a massage?"
"No dumbass-," He cut himself off and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could already feel the migraine. With a sigh he stood from his stooped position and trudged to the kitchen, "You look for another one." He ordered grabbing a chair.
Natsu fiddled around with the filters before asking, "What does M rated mean?"
"Don't know, don't care, just click it and see what happens." Gray muttered, plopping down in his newly acquired seat.
He was extremely proud of acquiring his new seat, mind you, so he sang himself a happy song in his head.
Natsu shrugged, and obviously being the shoot-first-ask-questions-later kind of guy he was, just clicked it. They scrolled through the various stories, nothing really catching their eye when Gray stopped Natsu's scrolling, "What about this one? Hide and Peek? Looks like it has a lot of reviews, it must be good."
"Don't you want to read the su-," Gray leapt forward and clicked the link, "Or ya know, completely ignore me, that's fine- ya dick."
"Shut up and read, douche bag." Gray sneered, scrolling past the author's note and straight to the story.
Again, they sat quietly reading, eyes focused on the words as they battled to read faster then the other. Then... The story started getting weird...
"WHY ARE YOU ERECT!" Real Natsu quoted the fake Natsu from the story, sliding his chair back and pointing at the screen.
"I don't know idiot, but I'm reading too! No need to yell your dick off." They both took a deep breath and carried on reading.
It was only a few minutes later that Gray blushed like a girl, screamed like a girl, and fell backwards off his chair. Once we was firmly on the ground, he scrambled further away from the offending device and pointed, gaping fruitlessly at it for about half a minute as Natsu read on, seemingly intrigued.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY TO YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY BACK!?" He finally screamed.
Natsu hummed, giving a contemplative look at the screen, "Well, to set the scene, looks like we were runnin' from the cops for fightin' outside the guild again we hid in an alleyway, you need to pee, but are also, somehow, erect and I said: "You're choking it. You'll never come that way. You need to do it softer. I'm not gonna peek, just think of something... erotic." Then you said some shit about you bladder, blah blah, blah! Then I grabbed your dick said, "Never speak of this" and I pretty much jerked you off."
"No Natsu, further down. The 'Talk dirty to me' crap." He swallowed nervously, giving a truly horrified look "The whole you actually talking dirty business."
"Hey, it's not real." He merely shrugged and carried on reading, "It's actually kinda gripping, I wanna find out what happens."
Gray stared incredulously at the other boy, "How are you not disturbed by this?"
Natsu turned, a sly grin etched on his face as he looked Gray up and down, eyes darkening as he muttered lowly, "Maybe 'cause I kinda like the idea."
Then he winked.
Honest to God it was the hottest wink Gray had ever received and he was honestly not sure whether Natsu was going to eat him or... well eat him. If you caught his drift. (Somewhere deep deep - not so deep - inside of him, he preferred the latter version of 'eat')
"Hey, Gray." His head jerked up, and so did something else. Why the hell did he suddenly sound so husky and... sexy? (Down dick, down, he thought to his lower regions.
His lower regions ignored him.
Well fuck you too, little Gray)
"Yeah?" He attempted to put on a scowl, "What ass-flame?"
"Are you hungry?"
"Um... Kinda, I guess, I haven't eaten since lunch." Gray shrugged, stiffening as Natsu stood, towering over his floored form.
Oh crap.
"Good. Cause I'm really craving," He smirked (what a fucking smirk it was), "Ice cream."
Somewhere by a random lake, Erza and Jellal were having a picnic. Erza suddenly froze, forkful of strawberry cake halfway to her mouth. Her head snapped toward Magnolia.
"Erza is something wrong?" Jellal questioned.
"My yaoi senses are tingling."
"What?" His eyebrows furrowed.
Erza snapped out of her trance and smirked, "Maybe you should ask your fiancée."
"For God's sake I said I was sorry!"
A/N: Don't ask what the hell that was cause I have no clue.
Um... Review? Maybe? no...
Okie dokie then