Disclaimer: Don't own Sweeney Todd. If I did, life would be perfect. I do own the soundtrack, though, if that counts for anything...

THIS IS A PIRELLI X TOBY! BE WARNED! This was written for a friend of mine.

Dear Journal,

Today was a pretty boring day as usual. I just had to go out and get the crowd excited a bit for master Pirelli and help him sell some of his piss and ink while wearing an itchy blonde wig. You know, the usual. We had the same old customers, and a few new ones who heard the news from some friends about 'Pirelli's Magical Elixir'. Too bad they're too daft to even think about the fact that it's piss and ink.

But something odd happened today. After we were done selling, master Pirelli took me home, as usual, but what was unusual was that he brought me up to his chambers. He never does that. I thought that I did something bad, I was so scared, but when I walked in, he wasn't angry, he was calm and… Happy.

I asked me why he wanted to see me and he just scooted over and made room for me on his bed, motioning for me to sit down. I was still kind of scared, but I still sat. The moment I sat down, he put his arm around me. It was uncomfortable.

"Stop-a da fidgeting." He commanded in his thick accent. I immediately stopped and looked at him.

"M-master Pirelli?" I asked. He looked back at me and grinned.

"Don't-a worry, Toby… I'm-a take care of-a you." He said, he pushed me back so that I was lying down on my back and I felt his lips on my neck. It was weird, but I liked it. He started unbuttoning my shit and started kissing downwards until he got to the top of my pants, which were starting to feel kind of tight. His grin got even wider when he saw it.

"Is-a my Toby excited?" He asked, the question obviously rhetorical. He unbuttoned my pants when I tensed up. He noticed that.

"It's-a gonna be fine-a, Toby." Pirelli said calmly, but I was still scared. He took off his own top and pulled down his pants, obviously trying to get me to feel more comfortable, but I was even more scared. Obviously, he didn't wear underwear… and I think I know why. He was very large, uh, DOWN THERE, if you get my drift. I looked down at my own privates and quickly looked back up, embarrassed about how inadequate I would be compared to him. Master Pirelli laid down next to me and put his hands on my waist.

"It's-a okay if-a you're-a afraid-a." He whispered quietly. He put his hands on the top of my pants and then slipped his hands inside and started feeling around. It felt… really good. Especially when his hand touched my privates… oh it felt so nice.

One thing lead to another until afterwards, we were lying on his bed, naked, panting like dogs and sweating like pigs with these stupid grins on our faces.

And now I can't stop thinking about it… I want to do it again so badly. I want to touch Master Pirelli in ways only a woman should touch a man… Is it wrong Journal?

Now, I must go for now. It's passed my bedtime. And he did say that 'we-a could do-a some-a thing tomorrow', so the earlier I go to bed, the sooner tomorrow will come.

As the French say, A demain

Toby

The end

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