When I Was A Boy I Ate Four Dozen Red Stones

by Shitstorm McKittenplan

There are some things that you just don't dare to say. There are some things that change far more than you would have liked. And there are some people whose every last inch is covered in hair.

A/n: THIS STORY MADE ME ORGASM FROM THE SHEER MANLINESS OF IT ALL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

When I Was a Boy I Ate Four Dozen Red Stones

THEY'D BE AFTER HIM SOON ENOUGH, HE'D REASONED, BUT THERE WASN'T ANY REASON HE COULDN'T STOP BY THE DEVIL'S NEST FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE. MAYBE HE COULD EVEN GET A FEW OF HIS OLD FOLLOWERS BACK, IF HE WAS LUCKY. HE HAD IMAGINED THERE WOULD BE SOME SMALL CHANGES, BUT HE HADN'T EXPECTED THIS AT ALL.

HE HADN'T EXPECTED ALL OF HIS WOMEN TO BE LEANING ON SOMEBODY ELSE. HE HADN'T EXPECTED HIS CROWD TO CLUSTER AROUND SOMEBODY ELSE, LAUGHING UPROAROUSLY. HE HADN'T ANTICIPATED FUCKING ANTLERS TO BE INCORPORATED IN ALL OF HIS DECORATING.

"WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY?" WHISPERED LING YAO'S VOICE IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. IT WAS A GOOD QUESTION.

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?" SAID GREED, POINTING AT THE STRONG-CHINNED INDIVIDUAL WHO WAS CURRENTLY OCCUPYING HIS FAVORITE CHAIR.

"NO ONE STEALS YOUR BITCHES LIKE GASTON!" LAUGHED THE MAN.

AND THEN THE MIDGET STARTED TO SING.