Chapter 1: The Truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Twas some time before Christmas when all through Dentech city.

Every single soul was being nice, but one brat was being naughty.

Lan Hikari was in his parents room- through their closet he was snooping.

When really he should be doing his homework or even pooping.

"Ugh. Where's my gameboy advance? I know mom always hides it in here."

"Maybe you should do your homework Lan," nagged Megaman. "She wouldn't try to hide it from you if you had good grades and didn't spend all your time-"

"Blah blah blah Megaman. The only time my brain is on is when I'm stimulated by games," retorted Lan. "I mean seriously, what's the point of learning algebra?"

"Uhm... actually. Algebra has a lot of important applications-"

"Huh? What's this?"

Lan grabbed a box wrapped in red paper with Christmas trees on it. "Oh... my... Duo. From Santa... to Lan."

The naive boy brought the box downstairs and yelled, "Mom! Mom! Santa came early this year! I this in your closet!"

Ms. Hikari looked at Lan, "Oh dear... Lan what were you doing in my closet?"

"It's not important. What's important is that Santa is going to give me two presents this year right?"

"Uhm... about that..."

"Honey I'm home! Did you make me a sandwich?" Mr. Hikari had just entered the house. "Oh. Honey you gave him our present already?"

"Our," asked Lan. "What do you mean our?"

Mr and Ms. Grinch- I mean Hikari- looked at each other and sighed, "Lan there's something we have to tell you. Santa's not real."

"Hahaha. Please guys. I'm not THAT stupid."

"We're serious Lan. We're the ones who read your wish list to Santa. We eat the disgusting cookies and drink the expired milk that you leave out for Santa. We're the ones that gave you a picture of Mayl's face photoshopped onto a naked Dora the Explorer."

"Wait what? No. You're lying. That was an actual naked picture of Mayl that Santa gave me."

"We also gave you some of your mom's underwear and said it was Mayl's."

Lan covered his ears. "No! It's a lie!"

He ran upstairs and grabbed some bra and panties out of his drawer and sniffed it. "It can't be! It does smell like mom's!"

He looked at a tag and saw the words "Lan's mom" scribbled on it. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

***At Mayl's house***

Ding Dong. "Oh hi Lan. W

hat are you doing here this late at night," asked Ms. Sakurai.

Lan dashed upstairs and opened Mayl's door. "Mayl it's horrible!"

"Eek! Lan! What are you doing here," Mayl shrieked as she tried to cover her half-naked self.

Lan grabbed her hands and pulled them down. "Mayl... I just found out that Santa doesn't exist."

"Well of course Santa exists. What are you talking about? How do you get everything you want every year?"

"My parents told me that they read my wish list. Your parents must do the same to you."

Tears streamed down Mayl's face as she rushed down the stairs. "Mom! Dad!" She cried uncontrollably.

Mr. Sakurai put his newspaper down and looked up. "What's wrong dear- O M G! WHY ARE YOU HALF NAKED?"

Mr. Sakurai jumped over the couch and grabbed Lan by the throat. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER YOU SICK WHIPPERSNAPPER!"

"Dad! Lan told me that Santa doesn't exist!"

"Oh. That's why you're crying? I thought you figured that out years ago."

Mayl gasped. "SO YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME ALL THIS TIME?"

Mayl ran upstairs with Lan following her. The two of them hugged each other and cried... that is... until Mayl punched Lan out her room for trying to grope her bra-clad breasts.

***At Chaud's house***

Ding Dong... ...Ding Dong... Ding Dong... Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Ding Dong.

Chaud stomped down the stairs and growled. "Who the fuck rings the doorbell at 1:47am in the morning?"

He pulled open the door to find Lan and Mayl standing in front of his doorsteps bawling uncontrollably. "Chaud! It's horrible," cried Lan. "We just found out that Santa doesn't exist!"

"Well of course he doesn't fucking exist! Are you guys 2? Is this why you guys woke me up at this ungodly hour? GO HOME!"

Chaud slammed the door shut and turned around. He gasped when he found the two of them standing in front of him crying. "What? How?"

"Chaud! Please take us to the North Pole! We want to find Santa," cried Mayl.

"Damnit woman! I knew Lan was this stupid but you too? Go home before I call security!"

"Chaud please," cried Lan.

"No! Go away!"

Lan continued crying, "I'm your best friend!"

"No you're not."

"We're brothers!"

"I don't have a brother and your brother's dead."

"We're homies!"

"I don't know what that is."

"Please help us!"

"No!"

"I'll give you a million dollars!"

"You don't even have $5."

"I'll suck your dick!"

"Wait. What?"

"Chaud please!"

"GO HOME! SECURITY!"

Chaud's guards, who inexplicably couldn't prevent Lan and Mayl from trespassing Chaud's gates, came and dragged Lan and Mayl out of the mansion.

Chaud stomped back upstairs and lied on his bed. "Fucking Lan... What the hell was he thinking?"

Chaud sighed and closed his eyes, "Would he really have sucked my dick if I gave him a plane? Pfft. Hell no. I wouldn't give him a plane regardless."

Suddenly, a loud roar could be heard from his backyard. "Wait. What the fuck?"

Chaud jumped out of bed and dashed to his window. "LAN HIKARI!"

Chaud stared out of his window in disbelief as he watched Lan and Mayl piloting one of his planes, while sobbing like 3 year olds. The plane flew away never to be seen again.

"SON OF A BITCH! Protoman! Get me a plane by tomorrow morning! I'm going to chase those mother fuckers down!"

So off on and adventure Lan and Mayl go.

And soon Chaud, the scrooge, will be caught in their flow.

This concludes the first chapter, please send a review.

Until next time, this odd author bids you adieu.