In the fresh dawn air I rise.

Always against my will.

Staring at the light of sky

Why can't I just be killed?

I am tired of this life

Or can I even call it that

A double life, this can't be

Stranded orphan, and Shinigami

All the pain so welled up it hurts

And yet I just can't cry

I lay in bed still helpless

Constantly staring at the sky

Where are my mother and father?

Why can't I seem to find them?

Or why do I even bother

I'm praying I will die today

Just disappear and go away

Almost as if I can't stand

All I have to live are my four closest friends

My courage

My strength

My backbone

My faith

And me lost in between

I've come so close to death

So many damn times

So much rejection

Like a smack in the face

And so alone

Yet this is grace

And this is fate

And this is how it has to be

I still pray I die today

And I find my parents in the other world

Sure, I'd leave my loved ones behind

But didn't they leave me?

Everybody dies, why would I be any different

They'd think it was an accident

Like someone else did it

Like it wasn't meant

They would shed tears at my funeral

All of them standing still in solemn

Everyone's life is a perfect dream

Why is mine the nightmare

In the darkness is the light

And I can't seem to find it

My frustration, tearing me down like a landslide

Closer and closer to Hell

And yet I still can't die

So when you wake every morning

And think your life is horror

You stand up and look at yourself

And bring yourself to smile

For when your big problem is

They gave you mocha and not latte'

You think of the less fortunate

While I weap

While I weap

Crying to God

Why me?