About this story:

Seth has a hard time and he thinks there is only one way to escape the misery he calls a life.

On Christmas night he makes a decision to face his very own version of "Christmas Tracks"but someone just has to mess up his tunes…

AU / Trigger warnings inside / One Shot

Disclaimer:

I do not own any of the WWE characters, they are owned by WWE.

Warnings:

Rated T

Warnings:

Trigger warning for mention of suicide.

Christmas Tracks

1.23 am. Seth's eyes registered the little red clock on his dash board as he turned his gaze over to the glove box to search for his flash light. Once he found it he stepped out of the car and winced immediately as his feet hit the hard ground.

It was cold outside, it definitely smelled like snow. Maybe by morning the world would be covered under a white blanket. He didn't really care if there was snow in the morning, what he cared about was the cold, wet air that made his knee act up again.

Damn knee had cost him his sports career years ago. For a while he had clung to the mantra of redesign, rebuild, reclaim but in the end they had proven just to be empty words and he had to kiss his career goodbye. One stupid misstep had cost him not only his life in the limelight but after being just a cripple his girlfriend had left him, his friends had turned their backs and the company that once had promised him fame and fortune fired him after two more years, telling him they simply had no job for him. What they didn't say was: a job for a cripple.

Now he worked in a fitness studio and watched each day from the sidelines the people training hard to perfect their bodies. It still stung deeply. And tonight at the Christmas dinner with his parents his mother had bothered him yet again why he was still single. She had pointed to his brother and his wife and told him she expected more grandchildren.

No one saw how miserable he was tonight. They were all over the moon when his brother's wife announced that the third baby was on its way. After that no one paid him any mind.

Well, he straightened up. It was fine. He was here now.

He locked his car, grinning about the action and shaking his head as he switched on the flashlight and made his way up the embankment.

His knee protested but he ignored it and after some struggle he was on the top, the tracks right in front of him. Man, it was pitch black up here. He was glad he brought the flashlight. Had to pick a good spot…

"Hey! Don't you dare laying down there! The 1.43 am to Chicago is mine!"

Seth shrieked like a girl and after the flashlight danced a while in his shaking hands the light found the man the voice belonged to.

A good ten feet away lay a guy right across the tracks and he looked angrily at him. A beanie covered his head and a thick jacket hid his body from the cold.

"What… I mean…why are you here?"

Seth knew he sounded stupid. Wasn't it obvious why the guy was here? For the very same reason he was. To ruin some peoples' Christmas plans. Oh yeah, and to kill himself.

"Duh. I guess we are here for the same reason pretty boy."

Seth was glad that it was dark because he was sure he blushed. It had been a long time someone had called him pretty. Not after the thing with his knee happened. People seemed to only see his limp nowadays. It didn't matter that the usual endearment sounded more like a snarl out of the guy's mouth.

Seth shook his head trying to set it straight again. He wasn't here to flirt.

"Then we can share, I mean the tracks go on for miles. Plenty of room."

Stubbornly Seth sat down and kept wriggling to find a good position, copying the way the guy lay across the tracks.

"Hey! No, no. I told you the 1.43 is mine. Go take another train!"

The guy was getting up now and walked up to Seth which made him sit up again as well. To do what? Defend himself? Because the guy looked about to kill him? Or to defend his precious spot? And why was this loon so hell bent that the next train was his?

"What does it even matter which train it is that offs you?" Seth asked annoyed as the guy towered over him. Damn he was bigger than he had looked on the ground.

"Of course it matters. You have to prepare for this day. It has to be perfect." The guy dropped down beside Seth. Seth shone the light of the flashlight over his face.

Some days' worth of scruff covered his face which looked really ordinary. But when the light hit his eyes they looked like Sapphires. Gleaming like those lights on the Christmas trees. Beautiful was all Seth thought.

But instead of mooning over the guy Seth lowered his flashlight and chuckled.

"What are you? A micro managing suicidal asshole?"

"Pfft. I am a suicide expert."

The guy sat up even straighter and puffed out his chest, sounding damn proud of himself.

"No one can be a suicide expert. As far as I know you can only do it once."

The guy hit his arm, not hard just to bring a point across.

"Right. That's why it has to be perfect. And I planned for this day weeks ahead. That's why the 1.43 am is mine. What were you going to do? Just lie down here and wait? What if the next train would come in a few hours? You would have frozen your ass off!"

Seth thought about that for a second scratching his own full beard.

"Why does it matter? I am going to end up dead, aren't I? So I can freeze a little."

He could practically see the guy roll his eyes even if it was too dark to really tell.

"Yeah, well I hate the cold. Now get up and go home. It will snow soon and the roads will be a disaster. This train is mine."

The guy started shoving at Seth but he was determined to hold his ground and soon enough a scramble started between the two men. It ended when the stranger pulled at Seth's hair and he yelped.

"What are you, a girl? What's with those sounds you make all the time?" The guy let go.

"No, you are a girl yourself for pulling at my hair."

Not the greatest comeback and Seth crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

The guy chuckled and it was deep and rumbling. It seemed like he gave up scaring Seth away because the next words out of his mouth sounded a little friendlier.

"I am Dean by the way. If we die here together we should at least exchange names."

"Seth. Nice to meet you…I mean…"

"Yeah, circumstances aren't perfect."

A casual shoulder shrug from Dean.

"So what brings you here tonight?"

Was Dean really trying to make small talk? Well it seemed to help because Seth was a little less nervous and he kind of welcomed the distraction until the inevitable would happen.

"Had a couple of rough years. Busted my knee a couple of years back. Lost my job, my girlfriend…she was a scam anyways, I am into guys…."

Seth wanted to slap himself. Why did he mention it to Dean? Well, now it was out and maybe if he continued talking it would get lost in the context anyways.

"Well. I lost everything. Had a good thing going in a sports career…and now I work at a fitness studio and see all those people do what I loved to do. Stay in shape, get fit. I can't have that anymore because of my stupid knee. My parents keep nagging about a wife and grandchildren but nothing like that is on the horizon for me. No friends left. I thought about turning to the bottle a couple of times but it would just prolong this misery. Well, that's my sad story. What's yours?"

Dean rubbed his chin and Seth could hear how the skin of his hand rubbed over his scruff. What an erotic sound!

Stop!

"I had an affair with a married man. Love of my life. Beautiful son of a bitch. Samoan. But with grey eyes. Hair like a raven. Long. Really really pretty. He told me time and time again he would leave his wife and daughter. I mean that would have made me feel bad…but the guy… he was my soulmate or so I thought. Well, he dumped me and now I am here."

Dean sounded very matter-of-factly about this all. Like he had really thought this over was done with it and this was his way out.

"Well, three minutes. We should lie down now."

Dean put his body over the tracks first. His neck lay on one side right across the steel.

Seth copied him and moved closer. Hopefully Dean wouldn't notice. Well and if he did…what did it matter? They would be dead in three minutes.

Soon enough they lay side by side, their bodies almost brushing against each other.

"You're sure?" Dean asked and looked over.

"Yup." Seth answered and he saw lights appear in the distance.

"Shh pretty boy. Eyes on me." Seth lowered his gaze back to Dean and felt that Dean grabbed his hand and held it.

The grip tightened the closer the train came.

Seth's eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough that he could make out Dean's face in the dark. He looked relaxed and calm. Seth was scared. His heart hammered in his chest. And gosh it was cold and his knee protested about the strange angle his body was in. It hurt so bad. But it would be over in a minute. The train came closer fast.

Half a mile.

Seth tried his hardest not to look at the lights. Dean didn't. His gaze was on Seth.

200 yards. Now. Any second now.

Seth didn't know what happened but in one second he was waiting for his life to end and in the next his body hit the frozen ground next to the tracks and Dean's body covered him as the train rushed by, sounding it's horn.

Seth felt Dean giggle on top of him.

"Oh my God. You were really going to do it." Dean only sobered up as Seth hit his chest.

"Of course I was going to do it. Weren't you as well?"

Suddenly Seth felt sick. Sick and stupid.

"Hell no. Fuck that was close. Didn't count in your limp." Dean breathed heavy and with every inhale his chest touched Seth's.

"What the hell are you talking about? Get off of me you stupid jerk! You are just sick. Crazy asshole. Fucking lunatic."

Dean let Seth push him to the side and he started to chuckle again.

"You said you are a suicide expert." Seth was furious.

"I am. I am Seth." Dean's calm voice made Seth stop and he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Dean expectantly.

"I am a suicide expert of a kind. I volunteer at Lifeline, a suicide prevention organization. Once I was you. My story…the guy….that really happened. Five years ago. Someone saved my ass that night I wanted to jump from a bridge. I got my act together and help them ever since. I am just not good at all that talking, or on the phone. So on the holidays and on weekends I wander around the tracks. Many people killed themselves on this stretch of the tracks over the years. You are the first I found here though. Maybe I didn't handle it perfectly. But I don't regret it. Me picking this spot here…you picking it…" Dean shrugged. His voice had become really tiny with his last words.

Could Dean have felt the same pull he had felt?

Seth inched closer.

"What are you saying?"

"Dunno. It's Christmas right? Magically things happen? You are gay or bi or whatever and alone. I am gay and alone for a long time. Thought I felt something worth discovering before you really decide to bite the bullet."

Seth startled Dean when he launched himself at him. This time Dean yelped like a girl but Seth didn't care. His lips pressed to Dean's and he ignored the sharp pain in his knee.

Dean tasted like mints and….life. Yes, he tasted like life. Oh gosh, that had been close. So close.

They came only up for air when snowflakes started to cover them.

"Told you it would snow." Dean grinned.

"I have my car with me. 4 x 4 SUV. Now I am glad I locked that stupid thing. I had no idea why I did it. Now…now I kinda do." Seth said shyly.

"Is that so? Why would that be?"

"To take you home. Make me feel alive Dean."

"I can do that Seth. Merry Christmas."

"Indeed."

Dean helped Seth down the embankment and that black SUV looked very much like a sleigh tonight. At least to him.

For a moment Seth' knees buckled as they reached the car, but Dean assured him gently that it would be okay. That he would be there to help him through this hard stretch of time. And for the first time in a long while Seth believed in those words again. Those words that betrayed him the first time.

Redesign.

Rebuild.

Reclaim.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays everyone.