Disclaimer: Dude! I don't, like, own Hellsing dude! Don't own Capri-sun either. Dude I suck!
A/N: just a little something to clear writers block. Integra's honours are all real except for the KRT, by the way: a KCMG is a Knight Commander of the Order of Saint Michael and Saint George (an honour given to senior administrative officials), a CBE is a Commander of the British Empire. (KRT stands for 'Knight of the Round Table')
Sir Integra Wingates Fairbrook Hellsing, (KCMG, CBE, KRT)
You are cordially invited to a Halloween ball at my country residence, Easterbrook hall, on the night of the 31st. You may bring one guest, as well as a partner. Your guest may also bring a partner. Tasteful fancy dress is expected, indeed required. I do hope to see you there, Sir Integra, though I know you scarcely attend social gatherings of this type. However, all the other knights will be there, and it would be nice to gather a 'full house' as it were. I also understand that several of the knights will be bringing their sons as guests, so maybe this would be a good time to find a suitable husband, since the question of your succession can surely not be left in doubt much longer. I hope this letter finds you well, and eagerly await your response.
Your honourable and learned friend
Sir Joshua David Thackeray (KCMG, CBE, KRT, PhD)
Integra's eyes narrowed as she read down the letter, creasing into thin lines of pure fury as she finished it.
"The arrogance!" She exclaimed loudly, scrunching the letter into her ashtray and following it with the forcefully ground stump of her cigarillo. "The damned arrogance! A suitable husband indeed?" She spat on the smouldering paper. "Bah!" Those stupid chauvinistic old dullards. The idea she would hit off with one of their inbred offspring was frankly ludicrous. She couldn't believe they would even think such a thing. She wouldn't go of course…but no, that would just re-enforce their opinion of her. They all expected her not to go…so, she must do the unexpected and attend. But…she shivered at the thought, a whole evening, wasted to polite conversation, pointless etiquette and trying to find yet more elaborate ways to put down the simpering young whelps yapping at her heels. She cursed lightly to herself. Damn, this wasn't going to be any fun at all…Hellsing could go without a leader for a night, it had before, but she'd rather she did something with that time, rather than fruitlessly squander it.
Suddenly, a thought came over her. She reached out and grabbed the smouldering, crumpled piece of paper, folding it out and smoothing it, smearing ashes and spit onto the fingers of her impeccable white gloves. She read the relevant part, thankful her cigarillo had not burnt through it. A partner, a guest, and a partner for the guest, eh? Fancy dress? Oh yes…oh yes! And this was the knights ball…no-one below level four clearance could possibly be there, probably no-one below five or even six.
And you were allowed to know at level three.
A smirk slowly spread across her face as she lit another cigarillo. She leaned back and jabbed the button on her desk that called Walter. Planning was in order.
"Are you ready yet, Miss Victoria?"
"Oh, Walter, I look utterly ridiculous…"
"Come on out, Officer Victoria." Said Integra, slightly harshly. "I want to see that all that money wasn't mis-spent."
"Oh, very well then…"
The door to Seras' room opened slowly, to reveal the young vampire standing there, her cheeks ever so tinged with a flush of life indicative of extreme embarrassment. She was dressed in a long blood red dress in the late Victorian style, with a tight black Basque, black lace petticoats, black gloves and black ball shoes. Her normally wild and unruly hair had been brutally straightened, a feat in itself, and fell loosely to her shoulders, some extending down her back to the level of her shoulder blades. Her naturally pale skin made major make-up unnecessary, and she wore only two thin lines of scarlet lipstick and some light eyeshadow, which enhanced the brightness of her crimson eyes.
"I look like the bride of Dracula…" she moaned.
"Then it seems Masters money was not ill spent."
Seras looked up at the familiar voice, then let out a low groan and slumped against the doorway. Alucard was dressed in an immaculate nineteenth century nobleman's suit, a sharper version of his normal attire, complete with pocket-watch and neatly folded handkerchief. His head was bare, and he seemed to have willed his hair back to a shorter, slicked down length that covered the top of his head and gave him a distinguished sort of air that his usual unkempt appearance lacked. The most arresting feature of his costume, however, was a long black cape with a red silk lining and a high, bat-wing collar.
"Oh no…" murmured Seras, "Someone staked me whilst I slept and I'm in hell…"
"Wishful thinking, Police girl," Said Alucard, giving her his standard feral grin, "You're very much alive…or at least less dead than most are so long after their demise."
"Oh why me…?" moaned Seras, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Why me…?"
"Oh come on Police girl!" Said Alucard, moving up next to her and pushing her chin back with one white-gloved gloved hand, looking her in the eyes with the slightly manic expression more normally associated with amphetamine addicts, "Show some enthusiasm! Your first ball…why, a hundred years ago girls your age would have killed for such a chance!"
Seras groaned again. "Oh do lighten up! It will be fun…I haven't had a chance to scare a group of smug self-satisfied mortals in so long…and this will be your first time, Police Girl! Now…you must remember you are a Nosferatu, my child."
"But I…" She wanted to say how using her freakishness to scare people out of their skins was not her idea of fun, but she couldn't speak against Alucard…the will to obey was too strong.
"Yes…master."
"Now Alucard, Seras." Said Integra, "I want your best performances, especially you Officer Victoria. No joviality, no cheerfulness, no pleasantries. I want you both to be the perfect image of arrogant vampiric evil. Your task is to make the rest of the knights regret the very concept of a Halloween ball and make any young runt who comes after me wet himself in fear. Have you got that?"
"Yes Master!" Said Alucard, his eyes alight with sick enjoyment.
"I suppose…" Seras trailed off.
"I want to see your teeth, Officer Victoria!"
Seras sighed and tucked her lower lip in slightly so the tips of her fangs poked out.
Integra held her head to the side slightly, appraising the affect this produced. "Actually, no. You look like a constipated kitten. Put them away again."
Seras indignantly retracted her fangs and scowled at her commanding officer.
"That's good." Said Integra, nodding. "Now, make your eyes go slitty." Seras curled her lip slightly then concentrated hard on a spot somewhere around the middle of her forehead. She could almost feel her pupils shrinking. It was one of the few vampiric abilities she was comfortable with in any way.
"Good." Said Integra. "Keep that. Now, I want the two of you to grab a couple of pints of blood each whilst I and Walter change into costume." With that Integral turned and headed up the dungeon steps, followed by her loyal retainer.
"What are they going as, master?" Asked Seras, turning slightly to the elder vampire, who was testing the sharpness of his fangs.
"I believe that master plans to dress Walter as her ancestor Van Helsing, and herself as the unfortunate Miss Harker, whom I once so nearly had as my fledgling…"
"Master, I've been meaning to ask, about that book…"
"Dracula? Oh, Van Helsing had it written by Stoker in order to discredit everyone else on my trail."
"How…"
"When Dracula was written I became a fictional monster," Said Alucard, grinning, "Not only that, but a dead fictional monster. No self-respecting scientist in the world was after my trail once that disgusting little piece of fiction hit the shelves." The nosferatu grinned. "It is nice to be famous though."
He lead her along the corridor and up the stairs to a small room off the back of the kitchen were two ice buckets had been laid out. Seras cautiously opened one and took out the blood packet inside it, and began pouring it into a bowl. Alucard simply picked up his and began to suck it through the tab like a Capri-sun.
Seras had a few spoonfuls before she started talking again. "Why are we getting an extra meal, anyway?"
"You'll need all the energy you can get for our big entrance."
Seras lowered her spoon slowly.
"Big…entrance?"
"But of course? You didn't think master would have us just walk in, eh? She's going for maximum effect."
"But then, how are we going to get in…"
"We're going to fly, of course."
Seras spoon rattled as it dropped into the bowl.
"Oh master!" She pleaded "Not bats, please not bats. Anything but bats…well, except insects…"
Seras had not had good experiences with using her power to transform into bats. At first she had not been able to do it. It had taken Alucard coming out the mirror as she was cleaning her teeth the first time. She had screamed then come apart into a swarm of small blonde bats that flapped about wildly before all finding perches in various parts of Seras' small bathroom. It was then that, through her wildly fragmented but strangely non-confusing vision, Seras had realised that she had left her towel lying on the floor. According to Alucard, the site of hundreds of little bats covering their groins and chests with their wings and cowering had been most hilarious. Once done once, of course, it was easier, though she kept having problems with the clothes, not to mention the act of putting her body itself back together. It was surprisingly easy to get a hand on back-to front, and then she would have to transform back, and try again. And as for the clothes…there were several embarrassing moments. She was now just about confident changing and changing back, but she got tremendously disoriented when she flew, and kept dropping to the ground in a fluffy rain, squealing, whenever a particularly loud noise hit her heightened bat hearing.
"Don't worry, police girl, all you need to do is follow my lead…"
"But, what if I come out with the costume wrong…I've never done it in a dress before…"
"I doubt it's much different, police girl. Now, drink up, we have a long night ahead of us."
"Oh goodie…" murmured Seras between spoonfuls of blood, "nothing like a quiet party, is there?"
Alucard grinned maniacally and tore the top from another blood packet.
"There's been nothing like this one before."
He took a long slurp.
"I will make sure of it." He said, licking a droplet of blood from his lips.
A/N: To Be Continued, of course…