A/N: This is not exactly a song fic. I was listening to this song when the idea struck me. For extra feels, listen to the song at the side.
In case you do like this, be sure to leave a review. Follows/Favs is great but nothing motivates a writer more than supportive/critic reviews.
Prologue
Summertime Sadness
In the Era when humanity fought amongst itself, when lives were squandered and souls were torn from bodies, when screams found no surface to echo and just faded away as the waves elongated, when peace seemed like a dream and nightmares a reality; in that era, love and family was the hope and motivation to keep living, to keep fighting, to keep killing.
Sanji loved Zoro. He had loved him for the past three years. The man was like the sun to him, brightening the darkness within him, reaching every corner and warming him from within as he forgot all his worries and just wrapped his arm around his partner. Zoro loved him too. He showed it in every action, every small fight and every kiss they exchanged. He looked at Sanji like their positions were reversed. Like he was the sun to his night.
Which is why Sanji hated this. He hated this the most. The war and the fighting, the need for power riding on the fickle thought of justice and revenge and this moment at his doorstep as a carriage stood at his porch waiting for the green haired admiral to climb on it and leave to lead his soldiers to war.
He clutched onto the muscled bicep, trying to convey all his feelings in the kiss his lover had him entrapped in as they stood in the lamplit room. He loved him. He wanted him to give his best, he wanted him to be brave yet careful, he wanted him to be safe even in the fire cave, he wanted him to return safely, he wanted him back here next time that train came stacked with soldiers, like he did every time. He wanted him to run and push through the crowd when he returned, just to meet the blond halfway through his own struggle and give him a tight embrace and smash their lips together. He knew it would happen. He knew Zoro would return, there was no way he wouldn't. He was the strongest.
Yet as their lips parted and the warm body pulled itself away from him, his hold on the man increased. A nervous chuckle escaped him before he knew it.
Zoro smiled down at him and ran a hand through his blond hair, flicking it back so he could see both sapphire eyes. His eyes were burdened with emotions that hurt and tugged on Sanji's heart. He automatically cupped the square rugged jaw in between his palms, "Give them hell." The practiced words flowed out of his mouth with ease. It was a ritual to exchange the words, knowing well what were the emotions hidden deep within them.
"I will." His voice was rougher than usual and his eyes mapping the moon features and setting them in his memory. He had a reason to return. He had a reason to live and not just throw away his life.
"I'll see you then."
OOO
"SAAAAAAANNNNNJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIII" Usopp's voice pierced above all the metal clicking and wood sawing. Sanji turned to look at the long nosed veteran limp running to the base, The hammer in his hand stopping midway to nail down the plank.
"THEY'RE COMING. IT'S OVER. THE WAR IS OVER. THEY ARE COMING. WE WON AND IT'S OVER. IT'S FINALLY OVER!" He screeched at him and silence fell all over the plain, allowing the information to sink in as every worker on the field heard the news. And then there was an uproar.
Everyone, every single person howled in happiness and scrambled, abandoning their work and rushing to the station, to greet their warriors, Sanji amongst them. A huge grin plastered on his face as he ran, trying his best to run faster than the wind, faster than ever before. It was stupid, the train would still arrive when it had to, just because he reached there first didn't mean it would arrive faster. But he ran, he ran like a horse struck with a hot iron, he ran to meet the man he loved. It was over, it was finally over and they could finally be together. They could get married, Zoro didn't have to worry about dying anymore, he didn't have to worry about leaving Sanji alone.
He finally reached the main gate. The station was crowded, as it was to be expected, and every family member of every soldier would be here to meet the ones they loved. Copies of the list of the deceased soldiers were being passed around, tearing apart as impatient families tugged on it just to see if their loved one was on it. Sanji didn't care. He didn't need to. It was finally over, they were going to be together.
Small sounds of breaking down started to rise slowly as people read the names of their friends and family members on the list. He looked around to see if any of his friends were amongst the ones now grieving but was interrupted as the train hooted it's arrival and pulled into the station, the soldiers jumping off it before it even stopped.
People cried and rushed forward and Sanji pushed his way through between them, needing to get the front and find Zoro before he went and disappeared in the crowd. The train finally stopped and happy cheers and tears surrounded him. Men lifted their wives and children off the ground, strangling them close and rejoicing on finally being together.
The grin on his face increased as he looked at the happiness that was starting to surround him. He struggled towards the second coach knowing that's where Zoro usually travelled. But he didn't see the mosshead laughing and jumping off the train, he couldn't spot him with the sea of humans around him.
He saw Luffy bounce off and kiss Boa as the lady looked ready to faint with happiness. That was good, Luffy looked happy, so things were probably fine. He was still a little too far from the coach. He kept his eyes glued to the small gate, waiting for his man to appear. The walking became easier after a few seconds as the families started retreating back home and he was able to flit quickly through the crowd to reach the coach.
But no one was exiting the coach anymore. A cold dread set in his heart as his footsteps faltered and his confidence wavered, the dread of feeling like he was lost overpowering every other emotion in his body. But he shook it off and ran again. He entered the coach, hoping to find Zoro dozing off, fatigued from the war.
But it was empty. All the seats had been abandoned and not a single soul resided in the metal box. The wrong coach then. Next one. He travelled to the next coach, finding it empty too. Another coach, empty. Another, empty. Another, emp.. wait, was that...no, just a bag forgotten by someone... so, empty.
The air around him suddenly started to compress as he forced his legs to move to the next coach. It couldn't be, it didn't happen. Zoro was here, Zoro was back. It was finally over, they could be together. They could ... The train jolted as it started to reverse, obviously having served its purpose and setting its course back to the land of the now concluded war. Fear gripped him as he lurched to the emergency chain and pulled it hard. Zoro was not off the train yet. There had to be a mistake. He needed to search the remaining coaches. He had to find his wandering love.
The train stopped and he released his hold on the chain and staggered onto the next coach, a small chant of "Zoro... Zoro... Fuck.. where are you?" muttering itself under his breath. The next coach was the last one. He hesitated before pulling the connecting door open and walking in, expecting to see Zoro sleeping on one of the chairs.
Empty.
Hurried footsteps reached his ears as he stared at the empty space, all his senses numbing in its place, the grin long ago wiped off his face.
"Which one? Oh.. there... Sanji?" Luffy's voice spoke to him and he knew what he would say. He would tell him to get off the train. But he didn't understand, Luffy didn't understand. Zoro was here. He said he would kick their asses. Zoro was supposed to be here.
"Sanji... Hey." Luffy's hand found his shoulder and gripped hard. Sanji refused to move, he refused to turn. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
A choked voice spoke and he realised a moment later it was his, "Zo.." He cleared his throat. "I have to find him. He probably got lost." He still didn't look at him.
"Alright, let's search for him. C'mon." The hand slid off his shoulder and tugged on his hand. He turned his head lightly, surprised. "What's wrong Sanji? Let's look for him."
His eyes were serious and his lips were drawn in a thin line as he looked at Sanji with the love of a brother, the same way he looked at Zoro. No, Sanji didn't need this. He didn't need the support, he didn't need Luffy to play along. He needed the truth.
"Luffy... Please" His voice was barely above a whisper as he pleaded to the man, pleading to know if it was true. "Please... He isn't... Please."
Luffy just looked at him as he spoke what he couldn't himself comprehend, his heart started to beat at the speed of a humming bird's wings. The already compressed air around him practically freezing in its place as his knees gave way and Luffy held him up.
He didn't know how but he found himself sitting on a bench on the deserted station five minutes later, eyes fixed at a spot on the ground, Luffy sitting next to him and staring off in the distant. There was a paper stuck below the sole of his shoe and he bent down listlessly to remove it, catching the name where it was torn off: oa Zoro, deceased.
"He told me that he wanted to marry you."
He didn't even blink. They both knew they wanted to marry each other. They both knew once the war was over they would be together. They never said it, but it was a silent fact.
He crumpled the paper and threw it aside.
"Here, it's all they could find of him." Luffy handed him a small leather pouch. Sanji turned to look at it and his hand automatically moved to take it. All they could find... A small leather pouch left as a remainder of the monstrous man.
He remembered gifting it to him, telling him it was a protective charm to keep him safe. It was clean, somehow. No blood. And there was something inside it. He played with the strings, trying to unknot the twists. It finally gave way and he turned it over on his palm.
Three golden earrings fell out on his palm, intact and unaffected by whatever it was that wiped the traces of the man he loved from this earth.
It didn't feel right. This didn't feel real. It didn't even feel like a nightmare. It just felt wrong somehow. Yes, his heart was hurting but his brain was the one refusing to believe what he was facing. It didn't fit. It just didn't fit. He was missing something, he knew he was. There was a huge hole in the midst of this fog but he couldn't see it right now.
Zoro was not dead and that was something he was sure of and nothing, not the empty trains or the printed lists were going to convince him of contrary.