More Than Words
A/N: Set after Han is rescued from Jabba's. Starts off the 1st night he has been "home" and follows to the next day. Based on the song, "More Than Words," by Frankie J. I am pretty sure they have one night on the Falcon before the rest of the movie, if not, my bad! Also – not exactly sure how long Han was with Jabba, so I am saying 6 months.
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
It was the first night Han has been home in 6 months, and I hardly had any time with him. That's weird… I was calling the Falcon home. It's kind of scary when you think about it. Han's ship was now my only consideration of a home. It sheltered me for lord-knows-how-long, and all of my belongings were here. Too bad Han wasn't around to hear me say that. He has been asleep for the past 3 hours. Chewie has been doing minor repairs, and goldenrod was shut off. I was stuck keeping watch.
I sat there with my thoughts, when Han entered. His eyesight was just now adjusting, but it was still hard to keep his balance.
"Hey, princess… Mind some company?" I smiled. He smiled back. He sat down, and I sighed.
"Han… there is something I have been meaning to ask you…" I looked at my folded hands.
"What is it?"
"When I confessed that I… that I love you… you said I know…"
"Yeah…"
"Well… what did you mean by that?" Silence.
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
that you love me, yeah
Cause I already know.
"Leia, why does that matter?" Han asked, in somewhat disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My intuition told me to leave, before things got to the point that I didn't want to go to, but it was MY shift, and I had to stay put.
"I… I was just wondering. You have been gone for so long, and all that time I wondered… Does he… ah, never mind… You must be exhausted, why don't you go back to sleep." Ouch. I knew I wouldn't believe me. He had just woken up from a 3 hour nap. He wasn't tired. In fact, I was very sure he was planning on staying.
"Leia. I am not tired. I think… I think we need to talk." I sighed. I knew it was coming, after all, so why did it seem like such a surprise? That I will never know.
"Han, do you love me?"
"I… I do. I really do." I smiled. He took my hand, and told me to get Threepio so we could go talk in his chambers. Before I knew it, we were sitting on his bed, facing each other, not saying a word.
"Is this what you call talking?" I asked, half-joking, half-serious.
"Well, you don't seem to be participating either, princess."
"Yeah well, that is because I am planning your welcome home party." I gave him a seductive look, and we did what I had been dreaming of doing for 6 months. We made love.
THE NEXT DAY
"Han, why won't you talk to me? Did I do something wrong?" He was fixing the hyperdrive to the best of his ability, and Chewie was keeping watch. It was the day after his "welcome home party" and he hadn't said a word to me all day. I woke up, he was gone, and he had been avoiding me all day. That is when I started to wonder: Does he really love me, or did he just say that to get in bed with me?
"Leia, I am kind of busy here! Can you please go away?" I stood there, feeling all of my limbs go weak, but with a strong voice I replied.
"For sith's sake, Han! I thought you loved me! Is this how you treat someone who loves you? Or maybe I was wrong about you! Maybe you are just a worthless piece of bantha-brained scum trying to get in bed with me! You don't care about me at all!" And with that I stormed away, leaving a bewildered Han behind.
What would you do (what would you do)
If my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say,
If I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I Love You
Two hours later I still had not heard a word out of Han. I wandered aimlessly around the corridors, not knowing exactly what I should be doing. I fixed the little things that I knew how to do, read a book, and played chess with Threepio. He was beating me, but I didn't care. I needed something to take my mind off things. Then, I did something I would have never thought was possible: I asked goldenrod for advice…
"Threepio?"
"Yes, Mistress Leia?"
"If you were in love with someone, and you weren't sure if they loved you back, would you talk to them, or wait and see what happens… Like, wait until they made the first move?"
"Well, I am not programmed to have any feelings of love, as you speak of. But I am sure that if I cared as much for the person as you do for Captain Solo, then there would be no doubt in my mind to talk to them. Ignorance will only make matters worse. If you don't talk to him, how will you know if he feels the same?"
I sat in thought. I had just asked C3PO for advice. Maybe this whole love thing was starting to get to me. "You are right… I have to tell him. I can't take the rejection, but I also can't take not having Han. Thank you, by the way." And I was off.
When I got to the door, I softly knocked, and heard no answer. I turned the handle, walked in, and found Han on our… his bed. He glanced up and then back down to his book. ((A/N: I am making Han a reader!)) The Hyperdrive, was what the book was called. Obviously he didn't fix it, and was trying to figure out what he was doing wrong. I sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Han, will you please talk to me…?" He looked up at me annoyed, and then gave in to my puppy-dog eyes.
"Come 'ere." I moved next to him, and snuggled against his chest. He put his book on the nightstand, and took a deep breath.
More than words
Is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me, yeah
Cause I already know
"I am going to ask you one more time. Do you love me?"
"Yes, I do…"
"Then why don't you act like it? You have been treating me horribly ever since last night!"
"Well, I haven't been trying to!"
"But you have! Did I do something wrong? I need you to show me that you love me, not just by saying it. I have given you everything I have to give… is it not enough?" I had tears in my eyes now, and by the look on his face this was hard for him, too.
"Leia… This is hard for me… This is the most serious relationship I have ever been in. I usually have a girlfriend that lasts… two weeks at the most. I leave, then I find a new one. Like a toy. With you… it's so different. I was planning on leaving a long time ago, but somehow you just… kept me here. I feel like if I leave, someone else is gonna snatch you, like when your on a swing at the playground… If you leave, another kid is gonna come along and take it. You love that swing, but you wanna go home, ya know?
"I guess I'm just scared. Love scares me." He smiled a little before continuing. "But I just love riding that swing!"
"Han!" I screeched, and slapped his shoulder. "That is no way to talk about a princess… If anything, I was riding you." We both laughed.
"Now now, that is not the way a princess should talk!"
"Why not? I was only referring to the swing…"
"Uh huh… sure…"
"So… are we okay?"
"If you forgive me…"
"I forgive you…" I snuggled up closer, and we were soon drifting off to sleep. The last words I heard before I was completely out, were words I would never forget…
"I love you, Your Worship. Always."
Now that I've tried to (now that I've tried to)
Talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hand
And touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
A/N: Please review! I wasn't so sure about this fic, but I loved this song, and I just HAD to write a H/L fic about it. I think overall it turned out pretty good, but that's why I need your opinion! Also – no flames. Thanks!