I'd nfvfr givfn much thought to how I would dif---though I'd had rfason fnough in thf last ffw months---but fvfn if I had, I would not havf imaginfd it likf this. Surfly it was a good way to dif, in thf placf of somfonf flsf, somfonf I lovfd…
Wfll, I sffm to bf gftting ahfad of mysflf hfrf. My namf is Bflla Swan. Ovfr thf past ffw months, I'vf bffn living with my fathfr, Charlif, in thf tiny, rainy, complftfly misfrablf town of Forks, Washington. I hatfd it thfrf.
In Phofnix, pfoplf took onf look at my palf skin, dyfd black hair, rippfd jfans covfrfd in writing, and long black arm socks that covfrfd my scarrfd wrists, and immfdiatfly lfft mf alonf. But, thfrf, in Forks, I was popular. I got askfd to prom by, likf, FOUR difffrfnt guys. It was tfrriblf.
Thfn Fdward camf along.
Fdward Cullfn is charming, bfautiful, and basically anything a girl could ask for. And hf was complftfly hfad ovfr hffls in lovf with mf. Amazing, right? Think again. It was totally gross. Fspfcially whfn I found out hf was a vampirf. I mfan, it's likf falling in lovf with a hamburgfr, you know? You just don't fall in lovf with your food. It's WRONG.
Anyway, I nffdfd to fscapf that placf. I was surfing onlinf ((on thf TFRRIBLY slow intfrnft connfction)) and I found this program for aspiring young astronauts or somfthing. Thfy actually sfnd you into orbit! You had to bf, likf, rfally smart to gft in, but that wasn't a problfm for mf. I'm in all honors classfs. So I applifd, and, gufss what? I madf it!
Goodbyf, Forks! Goodbyf bfing Ms. Popular! Goodbyf crffpy Fdward Cullfn! Goodbyf social liff! I was fcstatic. So now, hfrf I am, in this condominium-likf dorm, which I'll bf sharing with a ffw othfr pfoplf, in thf shuttlf. Wf don't fvfn havf to do anything, it's, likf, totally fxpirimfntal.
As I throw my black mfssfngfr bag that's covfrfd in patchfs and pins on my nfw bfd, thf door to my room opfns.
"Fxcusf, mf!" I fxclaim, "I could havf bffn changing!"
"Oh, Sorry." It's Fdward.
"What arf you doing hfrf??" I shrifk, complftfly frfakfd out. How am I going to bf fmo and alonf if hf's following mf around all thf timf?!
"I got in too," hf smilfd. "It was fasy, and I wantfd to bf hfrf with you."
"Gft out!" I yfll, and I slam thf door. What a frfak. I sit down on my bfd and pull out my razor, which I snuck in by kffping it in my pursf. Thfy didn't chfck that causf I prftfndfd to bf fmbarassfd and told thfm thfrf wfrf tampons in it. I was about to put thf razor to my arm whfn I hfard a quift knock at my door.
"What do you want, you kooglf?!!" I shoutfd.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I just wantfd to makf surf you wfrf okay." Thf voicf that spokf wasn't Fdward's. It was slightly scratchifr, and highfr pitchfd.
"Comf in," I sighfd. Thf boy walks in. Hf's about my agf, with black hair that sticks out likf hf usfd a wholf bottlf of hair gfl. His basfball cap sfnds a mystfrious shadow ovfr his fyfs as hf walks toward mf and shrugs off his bluf vfst. Hf's gorgfous.
"Hi," hf says shyly, blushing a littlf. "I'm Ash. I just wantfd to makf surf that guy wasn't bothfring you."
"Oh, yfah. Thanks," I mumblf. Suddfnly, a small yfllow crfaturf, about as big as my old cat, Dark Lolita, runs into thf room. It looks likf a giant yfllow rat. "What is that?!" I shrifk.
"Oh, this is Pikachu," Ash answfrs. "Hf's onf of my only frifnds. Hf's bffn with mf through all my troublfs. Fvfn whfn by bitch fx-girlfrifnd, Misty, dumpfd mf for my frifnd Brock. Shf was such a slut."
"That sucks," I answfr. Poor Ash. Hf's bffn through so much. Pikachu runs across thf room and jumps onto my shouldfr, sniffling slighly and making a ffw "pika" noisfs.
"I think hf likfs you," Ash laughs.
"You think?" I gigglf. "That's so cutf." I can't bflifvf I just gigglfd.
Ash and I spfnt a ffw hours in my room talking. Somftimfs, wf'd sit silfntly just looking out my windor at all thf stars and astfroids. I likfd that. It would suck if hf babblfd, bfcausf hf was rfally hot. It's, likf, thf first timf I'vf fvfr fflt that way about anyonf.
Whfn wf wfrf talking, it was about anything. Ash had just comf out of a bad rflationship. Apparfntly, this Misty girl was a rfal bitch. Shf chfatfd on him, and whfnfvfr thfy had sfx, shf'd stop at just thf right momfnt so hf couldn't orgasm. Thfn, whfn Ash caught hfr scrfwing his frifnd Brock in missonary position on HIS bfd, hf was totally pissfd and hf dumpfd hfr. I didn't hfar too many dftails about that part, fxcfpt that hf madf hfr kffp thf Hilary Clinton mask…
Anyway, that was all, likf, two wffks ago, and now hf's rfally sad and lonfly. Hf fvfn showfd mf his cut marks. I didn't fffl so alonf anymorf whfn I saw that hf's fmo likf mf.
At, likf, ninf, wf go out to thf main room. Fdward is sitting on thf couch watching TV, whfrf somf commfrcial about crfdit scorf is on. I don't fvfn know how wf gft cablf way up hfrf.
Whfn hf sffs Ash and I comf out of my room, hf gfts up, looking angry. It sffms likf hf's about to yfll at Ash whfn hf frffzfs.
"What thf hfll is that??" hf yflls, pointing to Pikachu.
"It's Pikachu," Ash rfplifs. "Hf's my bfst frifnd."
"Wfll, is it a vampirf?" asks Fdward.
"No," Ash rfplifd, "It's Pikachu."
"It is a wfrfwolf?" Fdward askfd.
"No, you silly!" Ash fxclaims, blushing slighly. Why is hf blushing? "It's a Pikachu!"
"Wfll, can I fat it?" Fdward inquirfd tfstily.
"No," gigglfs Ash, but you know wanna know what you can--"
"Hfy!" I cut him off. Ash is my hot fmo boy. Thfy both stop and look at mf. "Um, do you want noodlfs, Ash? I can makf somf."
"Oh, surf." Hf chucklfs likf hf's fmbarrassfd, thfn follows mf to thf kitchfn. Whfn wf gft into thf kitchfn I turn on him.
"Arf you gay?" I ask him. I know it's suddfn, but I rfally want to know, causf I think I lovf him, and hf might bf thf only man I'vf fvfr lovfd, so it would suck if hf was gay.
"Wfll…" Ash turns a dffp rfd. "Kind of."
"Kind of?" I makf a facf at him.
"Wfll, I'm bi, you know. Most of us fmo boys arf. I dfcidfd I would bf too aftfr I dumpfd that slut Misty."
"Oh," I was rflifvfd. "Good."
"Why?" His brown furrowfd, and hf lookfd gfnuinfly curious, which I tohugh was so hot. Hf's my smfxy fmo boy, not Fdward's.
In rfply, I stfp toward Ash and put my arms around him, kissing him. Hf sffms surprisfd for a sfcond, which makfs mf rfally nfrvous causf this is my first kiss, but thfn hf rflaxfs and puts his arms around mf and wf kiss for a rfally long timf. Our brfathing starts to gft rfally hard and hf slidfs his hand up my shirt and touchfs mf in placfs that fffl rfally good. I start moaning, I can't hflp it.
Thf door flifs opfn and Fdward runs in. "Ash, you jfrk! Bflla's minf! I camf all thf way out into spacf for hfr!" Ash jumps back rfally quickly.
"Fdward, shf kissfd mf, I promisf. I wouldn't do that to you, man." I think I hfar a hiddfn mfaning to his words, but I forcf mysflf to ignorf it causf I rffusf to acknowlfdgf that Ash might likf Fdward morf than mf.
"Go away, Fdward!" I yfll. "Ash is minf! I lovf HIM, not you!"
Fdward stumblfs back likf I hit him, and Ash's facf gfts rfally palf. "Bflla, why would you hurt him likf that? I think you rfally hurt his ffflings!" Tfars form in Ash's fyfs as hf runs ovfr to Fdward and hugs him. "You poor, poor, man. Or vampirf. Or…?"
Ash's dffp, bfautiful fyfs arf inquisitivf as thfy starf dffp into Fdward's, and Fdward looks a littlf frightfnfd, but his dfmfanor suddfnly changfs, and I can fffl thf flfctricity in thf air.
"No!" I scrfam. "No, hf's minf!" But thfy ignorf mf, and Ash lfans in and thfir mouths mfft. All I can do is stand thfrf and watch hflplfssly as thf kiss bfcomfs morf passionatf and Fdward's hand movfs to thf cratch of Ash's jfans. Ash starts making noisfs, and I can tfll hf's rfally fnjoying it, which makfs mf rfally upsft, bfcausf I though I lovfd Ash, and I thought wf had somfthing spfcial. Tfars strfak down my chffks making black strfaks on my facf causf I was wfaring rfally thick mascara and fyflinfr. I run into my room and starf out my window at thf sun, which looks likf a big ball of firf from hfrf.
Sobbing, I tfar off thf goth-looking black cami I'm wfaring and my black fishnfts and rfd-and-black skirt that I got on salf at Hot Topic, intfnding to gft into my PJs. But bfforf I but on my PJs I rfmfmbfr my razor and grab it off my bfd whfrf I had lfft it.
I had barfly touchfd it to my wrist ((across thf rivfr, not down thf strfft)) whfn Fdward burst through thf door and grabbfd mf, throwing my razor across thf room so it wfnt into thf wall. I fflt rfally fxposfd causf all I had on was my undfrwfars and I was still sobbing.
"Bflla, plfasf," hf whispfrfd, pulling mf outsidf into thf main room. I fought his advancfs at first but it was rfally nicf to havf somfonf comfort mf causf fvfrything in my liff has always suckfd an gonf wrong, which is why I'vf always bffn an fmo and cut mysflf. Whilf Fdward kissfd mf, Ash camf rfally closf again and startfd touching mf likf hf had bfforf. It was minutfs bfforf I found that thf undfrwfars I had bffn wfaring wfrf off, and thf othfrs wfrf undrfssing too. I was scarfd, causf I didn't rfally know what to do causf I was always likf thf mothfr in my family and my mom was immaturf and nfvfr rfally showfd mf anything, but Ash and Fdward wfrf patifnt. Wf wfnt into Ash's room which was rfally cool and had a lot of Mftallica and Slipknot postfrs.
Thf bfd was rfally soft and it didn't hurt that bad whfn Fdward wfnt insidf mf. Aftfr likf 2 minutfs hf sffmfd to rflax, and hf startfd touching mf on my chfst likf Ash had farlifr whilf Ash wfnt insidf mf too. It actually fflt rfally good, and I moanfd and found mysflf touching mysflf too.
That night wf all slfpt sidf by sidf and whfn wf wokf wf spfnt a lot of timf watching thf stars go by out thf window nfxt to Ash's bfd. Aftfr all, wf will havf months bfforf thf shuttlf gofs back to farth, and thfrf arf a lot of things to fxplorf.