The Only Way Forward by Lezzles

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Julian Fellowes and ITV, I'm just borrowing them for a little while

Summary: Tag to episode 3x04 - Why did Tom deflect Sybil's question when she asked if he was keeping anything more from her? An unexpected visitor may just have the answer.

Rating Fiction T (for safety for possible language and disturbing scenes)

The Only Way Forward

Tom Branson lay awake staring at the ceiling in the dim light long after his wife was asleep. She had accepted his kiss, but reluctantly, and now lay with her back to him, instead of where she usually lay, curled in his arms. He knew she was hurting and worrying and felt betrayed. It had been clear in her voice when she asked if he was keeping anything else from her, but as deep as his love for her was, he could not share 'this' with her. He had abandoned a responsibility and older love when he spent the years in England waiting for his lady to decide on him, but it was a responsibility he could no longer ignore. However much it would hurt both Sybil and himself, he had to find a way to return to Ireland and fulfil his obligations to that love.

The next morning Sybil awoke and for a moment wondered what was wrong. The warmth of arms she had become used to waking in was not there, and she missed them. Then suddenly the memories of the previous day came flooding back and she sat up quickly looking around the room desperately for Tom. His words "all I know is that I can't stay here.…not for long" were running through her head, and all she could think was that he had gone. This was abandonment, not the carefully made plan they had made, which was seen as such by her family. Then the door opened and Tom came in, fully dressed.

"You're awake… I was hoping you would sleep longer, you were so tired last night and it's not good for either you or the baby." Her relief was tempered with the understanding that their discussion from the previous night seemed to be no-where in his head, and she also didn't miss the fact that he seemed to be unable to fully meet her eyes. "I've just been having breakfast and Matthew would like me to go and have a quick look at his car in the garage. Something's not quite right with it, but he's not sure what. Is there anything you need? Shall I ask Anna to come see you?"

"Why would I need Anna, you know quite well I can dress myself, being pregnant doesn't change that. But I do need you. We need to talk about last night." He looked at her, and then again his eyes skittered away.

"There's nothing more to say at the moment. I told you what I must do and you told me what you think I must do. We'll talk more when I've had time to think on it, but now Matthew is waiting, so I'll see you later," and just like that he was gone again. Sybil felt tears well in her eyes and angrily dashed them away. For the first time she was starting to doubt his absolute allegiance to her. She knew he was keeping things from her. The deflection from her question of the night before had worked at the time, because his statement of returning to Ireland had filled her with panic. She needed him with her, and so did their child. She couldn't contemplate a future raising their child alone, but she realised now that maybe she would have to. When Tom determined on something he stuck to it. He'd certainly proved that with his patient waiting for her. Now his return to Ireland had reawakened some fire in him, which she didn't think she could match. She'd always known his patriotism for his country and admired his fighting for it, but she'd thought he would fight with words not actual destruction of property and maybe more. She remembered his words from long ago, discussing the Tsar and his family "Sometimes a hard sacrifice must be made for a future that's worth having". At the time he had been talking about the future for the two of them, of that she was sure, yet now was the sacrifice to be their love, and the future worth having to be the freedom of Ireland. From what her father was discovering there was violence in his heart when it came to Irelands freedom; he'd not denied it and his deflections were indicating the violence was consuming him even at the cost of their love.

By the time they sat down to dinner Sybil was exhausted from the constant worry and stress. Tom had managed to ensure they were never alone throughout the day, giving no time for a confrontation, and he came late to their room to change so again there was no time for them to talk. He had barely arrived before the gong was sounding and he urged her to go down and he would be there as soon as he could. Besides Alfred had been knocking on the door asking what was needed and he had turned his attention to him. With a sigh she had left, but determined herself that they would have a conversation later, and she would not allow him to deflect her this time. At least he was pandering to the family by continuing to change into his dinner jacket for the meal. Everyone at the table seemed to be manfully ignoring the reason Tom and Sybil were there, and all conversation was of a trivial nature and did not address any of the recent events. Both Robert and Tom contributed little to the conversation, and although Violet and Isobel were both there, there were no other guests, and so Sybil herself was also able to keep quiet, unless a question was directed at her.

Toward the end of the meal, in an eerie re-enactment of a few nights previously, a loud banging was heard on the front door, and with a muttered curse of "What now!" Robert threw down his napkin and strode off to see what was happening. Hearing the shouted words "I don't want to see you Robert, I want to see Tom Branson now!" the rest of the company followed into the hall to see a red-faced middle-aged man shouting, but as his eyes fell on Tom, he stopped in bewilderment.

"You… here… I don't understand. I was told Tom Branson was here." Robert answered in confusion,

"He is here. You are looking straight at him."

"No. no that's not him. That's the man who tried to stop it." The man had seemed to visibly deflate on seeing Tom and now was shaking and looked close to collapse.

"Patrick, we'll go into the library and sit down with some brandy and you can tell me why you are here" Robert said, seeing this.

"And we are coming too," added Violet, "we're entitled to know what's going on" she added to Robert's glare.

"Fine" he said and took the man's arm to assist him.

"Who is he?" said Matthew and Mary answered with a glance at Tom

"Lord Dronegal from Dublin"

They all settled in the library and the man visibly settled, although he still looked confused.

"Now Patrick tell us why you are here and why you think this is not Tom Branson."

"You know about the burning? yes of course you do, doubtless he told you… The crowd were shouting for Tom Branson, and a man I thought was him took the torch and lit the fire. He was goading them on and I really feared for our lives. Watching our home burn was… I can't explain how I felt. Later when the authorities told me they couldn't find Branson and then that he was in England, at Downton, with his 'family', I couldn't believe it. That you would harbour such a monster. So I came to demand justice from you."

"But you said this is not the man you took for Tom Branson."

"No, he was much younger. This man was there but he was trying to stop them – he kept saying they were going too far… And I sincerely believe the only reason my family and I are still alive is because he argued for us, said it would make them as bad as the soldiers who killed their men. This is the man who protected us, but I don't understand why they were shouting for him if HE is Tom Branson." He looked directly at Tom now and addressed him, "Do you know why they were shouting your name?" Tom's voice was gravelly and hesitant, as he shook his head,

"No, but most of them knew me. I'm a journalist, and I've been following their story… our story. I DO believe in a free Ireland, my lord, but I don't believe that violence will achieve it." Lord Dronegal recoiled slightly, but then nodded.

"As I said I believe I owe you our lives, Sir, so although I do not agree with your politics, I cannot see you punished for them. The authorities told me you are banned from Ireland, but I will go to talk to them and tell them I was wrong about the level of your involvement. I will try to get the ban lifted." Tom nodded

"Thank you."

"You will stay for the night, Patrick" asked Cora, but he shook his head.

"No I have a car waiting outside. I will go to a hotel in York, and return to London in the morning. My family are waiting for me there." Robert nodded

"Very well. Carson can you see Lord Dronegal out."

After they had left, Tom made to follow, but Robert stopped him

"Oh no. We want the true story now, you know far more than you told Lord Dronegal. Why in God's name didn't you tell us you were trying to stop it! Why did you let us believe you were involved in the violence?"

"I… I can't…. It's not my story to tell…" he was interrupted by Sybil with a sudden understanding gasp,

"Oh God. It's Connor isn't it?" He turned to look at her in distress.

"Stop, Sybil, they'll take him and shoot him, you know they will."

"Who is Connor?" Tom sighed and then looked to Robert with resignation, despite the fear welling instead him.

"He's my baby brother. He's only 17. He was very close to our cousin, Ciaran, and when they were 14, Ciaran was killed in the Easter Rising. He wasn't part of it, was just on the wrong street at the wrong time. The authorities said he was killed because he was probably a rebel" Tom couldn't help the bitterness in his voice as he spoke. "When we got to Dublin Connor was so bitter. It's my fault, I should have been there for him. Our Da was killed when we were children and we are the only boys. That's why he was so close to Ciaran. I was going to the meetings with him to try to calm him down. To make him see that we should use the papers and the law to work for us, but there was no stopping him. They weren't shouting Tom Branson, they were shouting Con Branson. But my name is known because of my byline, so they assumed it was me, especially as I was there. Connor has nowhere to run, and they will kill him if they know he was the ring leader. That's how they work." Tom's voice had been rising and becoming more passionate with every word he spoke. Robert looked to Sybil, but she just nodded

"It's true, Papa, I've seen it,"

"Very well. I think we need to calm down and get some rest. We'll talk more in the morning." There was general agreement and the family drifted out with Robert calling to Carson to order the care for Isobel and Violet. Tom remained frozen and Sybil remained too.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a small voice, "I would have understood."

"I didn't want you involved in it. I wanted you as far away from the violence as possible. I thought I could talk to him and stop him from doing something stupid. I was wrong!" He looked at her with tears in his eyes, "You were right last night. Downton CAN give safety and security to us. I so wanted you to be here, despite how I feel about it, but I know you wouldn't leave Ireland without me, and I couldn't leave Connor. Not again, I'd failed him once already. And then there was Ma, she's lost her husband to the Riots, her son-in-law to a war we shouldn't have been in, and her nephew to the Rising. She can't lose her baby son as well… it would kill her.

"We'll find a way to protect him, I now we will. Papa will help now, I'm sure of it. But we need to be in this together, before our child comes. You promised me we always would be. Please Tom I need you to be the man you promised me you were. No more secrets. I can face anything with you beside me, but you have to trust me as much as I trust you."

"Oh my darling girl, I do trust you! I just didn't want you involved in this violence and horror. But I will promise you I will never keep anything from you again" He opened his arms to her and this time she went as willingly as she had on her arrival the day before. He whispered a prayer into her hair thanking God for the love of this remarkable woman, and he realised that his thoughts of the night before were all wrong. He HAD to share 'this' with her, just as he had to share everything else of himself with her. The only way forward was to go there together.

© Lezzles 2012