An Exchange Student, An Arm, and a New Adventure

by Sakura23

Two girls on a study abroad program in Japan never expected to meet a dying man with a strange bird-like arm while wandering around town. When Shingo dies, Ankh must train Eiji's successor as he takes on a new body and leads a new life outside Japan. AU

1. The Beginning of a New Adventure

Kamen Rider OOO

Episode Zero: An Exchange Student, An Arm, and a New Adventure

*If Kristy is talking to me, imagine the speech is in English. Otherwise, it is all in Japanese. Ankh speaks Japanese nearly all the time, and any English words he says (mostly to Kristy and any other college students) will be italicized. The Greeeds will also be speaking Japanese, no matter what form they take.

"Professor Yamamoto did it again!" My friend Kristy moaned as we were heading down the street to the Yum-Yum Bakery to buy our weekly treat of meat buns. "He assigned our entire class a ten page essay on anything related to Edo Japan! And we have to write it all in Japanese! Have you any idea how hard that will be for someone who isn't a native speaker, or writer in this instance?"

"Sounds like you're regretting your decision to not only study abroad in Tokyo as a international studies major, but one with a Japanese minor as well." I answered. "Don't worry, I feel your pain."

Kristy rolled her eyes when she heard that, but didn't say anything back as we approached a busy intersection on our thoroughbred horses, which were being rented from the local Mounted Police department. A friend of mine from a Japanese culture club I was a member of, Hina Izumi, had used her connections with the police to get us permission to exercise the horses in the absence of her brother Shingo, who had owned the horses until he mysteriously disappeared following an investigation of a burning building.

The horses were restless as they clopped down the street, since they had been confined to the stable after their assigned rider disappeared. They were extremely high spirited, which was why no other officer had dared to approach them or assign them to another officer in need of a mount. Shingo and Hina had been the only ones who could approach the animals without getting kicked or bitten, until Kristy and I had come along to assist the officers unwilling to handle such animals. Kristy was the daughter of a horse whisperer, so she knew how to calm these animals down. I too had some experience working with horses, and since Kristy was not just a fellow study-abroad student and my roommate, but a close friend, I couldn't turn down her offer of a city-wide riding excursion.

"Good thing we're going back to New Jersey tomorrow." She said while maneuvering her high-strung stallion through the human traffic jam that blocked our access to the crosswalk. I followed as closely as possible, while also making sure my horse didn't accidentally tread on people's feet. Luckily people were eager to get out of the way upon seeing the local police department's logo engraved on the bridles. Not surprisingly, many children shouted 'uma!' at the top of their little lungs as they pointed out the horses to their parents as we rode by them. "You have no idea how nerve-wrecking it is to type up your assignments when a Japanese roommate is looking over your shoulder to make sure you don't make silly mistakes."

"It's certainly hard to learn Japanese if you're not proficient in Chinese." I pointed out. "Then again, hey, you did say you wanted a little challenge. Just don't confuse hiragana with katakana and katakana with kanji and you'll do just fine."

At this point we turned into a little alley across the street from the bakery so I could snap a few quick photos of the area for my school newspaper back in the US. The editor of that newspaper had assigned me to do a story on the slums of Tokyo, and though I wasn't too happy about having to spend so much time interviewing the poor in such unsanitary places, I had been offered a good sum of money if the article turned out to be good. That was a prize I couldn't refuse. As an aspiring journalist, I wanted to do well enough to be noticed by others.

The horses' hooves made loud clopping noises on the broken concrete as the two of us proceeded through the neighborhood. Slums are a rare sight in modern cities, but a careful observer can find them if he or she looks hard enough. It looked like the poor parts of Brooklyn—which I had been to in order to report on a similar story back in the States. Dirty children with mud on their shoes, or feet if they happened to be barefoot, darted in and out of open doors and smelly piles of trash as they played a little game of chase, laughing all the way. Some stopped to pet the horses, while others asked Kristy if she had any treats on her. Smiling, both Kristy and I did our best to oblige them by stopping to say hello and hand out pieces of fruit we had gotten from the dining hall at the University of Tokyo. Not wanting my banana to ripen too much from the heat produced by the horse as it walked, I dug that out of the saddlebag and gave it to a boy who didn't look like he had washed his hair for weeks, because he was giving me such a pitiful look that I couldn't resist not giving him anything out of sympathy.

On our way out from the slums after spending nearly an entire day interviewing the residents and playing with the children, Kristy suddenly gave a shout of alarm when she noticed a mostly red arm tipped with sharp black claws hanging limply over a metal bar on the ground behind some trash bags. Upon closer inspection, we realized the arm was firmly attached to a young blond haired Japanese man lying unconscious on the concrete. He seemed badly injured, and I noticed that a trickle of blood was oozing down one side of his mouth. This indicated that he had been beaten up quite violently, and the lack of any reaction when we moved the horses in for a closer look showed how badly his wounds, seen and unseen, probably were.

"We need to get an ambulance here." Kristy told me while dismounting to take a better look at the unconscious man. "He's badly hurt."

"I'm not sure if the best course of action is to do that." I said while getting off my horse as well. Then, while Kristy held the reins of both our mounts, I gingerly picked up the red arm. Gold rings with bird motifs adorned two of its fingers, and a small white hole was visible in the center of its palm. Red scales made up the arm's skin until it transitioned abruptly into normal human skin. Black strips of cloth made up the armor beneath the scales, and two strips of said cloth fluttered in the breeze as I held the man's hand up closer to my face for a better look. A bird shaped object appeared to be perched on the arm's right side, and since it was melded right onto the arm, I figured it was part of this guy's anatomy. "The paramedics might freak out when they see this. But other than that, this man looks pretty normal to me. Maybe he's a cosplayer?"

"Or a were-hawk or something." As I carefully turned the man over to check his vital signs, she turned towards me. "I don't suppose you want to take him home?"

"It's probably best to take him to a hospital, but like I said, I don't want to attract too much attention." I told her. "So I suppose we could take him back to our apartment. I can't feel any broken bones, and it doesn't look like he's bleeding internally somewhere. A good rest and some food might be enough to make him well again."

"You sure? Since you're not a nursing student, you can't exactly tell if he is injured internally." Kristy answered. She then winced upon seeing me roughly jerk the body up into a sitting position. "Careful! You could make his injuries worse."

"Hand me the water bottle." I reached my hand out to her, prompting Kristy to untie my saddlebag and pull out an unopened bottle of spring water. After telling the horses to stay, she dropped the reins and positioned the man so that he was sitting nearly upright and cradled his head in her arms as I began tipping the bottle and pouring a little bit of the water into the cap. We then dribbled the water into his mouth in an attempt to revive the unconscious man, and before long he started to stir. "Thank goodness. He's alive!"

"Ow." Said the stranger. He brought his strange arm up to his face and winced upon seeing his own blood on his clawed fingers. "Damn. This body might be done for."

"You okay?" Kristy wanted to know. She then held up the bottle of water, in case he wanted to drink more.

The man looked at her as she spoke, and his eyes narrowed when he saw that we weren't people he knew. "You saw me, didn't you. With this arm."

"Oh, uh, yeah." I said. "Why, does it bother you that we saw it?"

"Yes, because now you two will no doubt want to know who I am, and I—OW!" he tried to rise at this time and had to sink back down to the ground, groaning in agony. "This human won't last long at this rate. I must find Eiji. I don't have enough Cell Medals to keep this body much longer, and he might be able to get some from old man Kougami."

Hearing this, Kristy turned to face me and rolled her eyes. "Oh, look what you've gotten us into. I can't believe we're going to be stuck helping some guy from Mars."

"Just because he refers to himself in the third person doesn't mean he's an alien. And there's no way we're leaving him here. C'mon, help me get him on the horse."

"Oh no you don't. We're leaving the country tomorrow. We don't have time to play nurse."

"Yes, we do. I mean, we can't just leave him here."

With a sigh, Kristy got back on the horse, ran a hand through her straight but slightly ruffled brown hair—it was rather windy at the moment—and shook her head in disbelief as I began half shoving, half pulling the man with the strange red arm over my own horse's withers. I then swung myself up into the saddle behind him and used my arms to keep him in a sitting position. If I simply draped him like a rag doll over the saddle, the two of us would attract a lot more attention than we thought we would. "Don't worry, I have a feeling we'll pull through together. Let's go home for now."

Immediately after getting back from the police station to drop off our horses, Kristy hailed a taxi to take us back to the apartment we were renting from the local landlord, and after getting back into our room we promptly pushed the man, who had introduced himself as Ankh during our ride back, onto the lower bunk bed. I then got out a rolled up sleeping bag to use later that night since my bed was now occupied by a complete stranger, and together my roommate and I began stuffing the last of our clothes into the two suitcases we would be checking in at the airport after breakfast the next morning. However, our preparations to return to the States was interrupted when someone yelled "Open up!" and started banging on our door.

A concerned woman in a medical technician's uniform stood in the hallway when I opened the door. "A couple of residents here told me the two of you dragged in someone who looked half dead. Is he okay? Can we see him?"

"Um…sure." I said after a long pause, and motioned to Kristy to put our suitcases elsewhere so the medical team could come in with their medical kits and stretcher. The woman introduced herself as Amane Fujita, and the first thing she did was shine a light in Ankh's eyes to see if he responded. He did, albeit with a yelp, and lifted his now human arms—the scales and claws were now gone for some reason—up to his face to shield himself from the bright glare of the pen light. "Well, at least he's responding."

"Can you tell me your name?" Amane asked Ankh. "Know what day it is today?"

"Why do you need to know that?" Ankh snapped back as the technicians began poking and prodding him to further test his reflexes.

"Because you were found unconscious and could have a concussion. We can't have that. Do you remember knocking your head against anything?"

"Actually, Uva punched me half to death before walking off with my stuff. You could say I was mugged." He then reached into his pocket and smiled when he pulled out a iPhone4 from his pocket. "Good, this survived intact. I'm surprised Bug Brain didn't nab this as well."

"Like, wow, I wish I had that." Kristy's brown eyes grew wide when she saw he had the latest version of the iPhone. "They're supposed to be really expensive!

"Um, you still haven't answered Amane-kun's questions."

"The name's Ankh, and today's the fifteenth of April." Ankh answered haughtily as the medical students continued to fuss over him and chatter among themselves about his condition.

"That's good, Ankh-san. But..what's this?" The technician now pointed to a dark patch of skin on Ankh's belly. "Is that blood? Kami, could it be that you're internally bleeding and not aware of it?"

Ankh looked down at the patch, then gave us a blank look before speaking. "Oh."

"'Oh?'" I raised my eyebrow as the EMS students immediately panicked and readied the stretcher to transport Ankh to the nearest hospital immediately. "Could it be that you're not feeling any pain?"

"Now that you mention it—OW!" Ankh yelled even louder upon feeling a hand touch his abdomen. "That really hurts!"

"Definitely internal bleeding, by the looks of it." Amane then moved the stretcher closer to the bed, and she helped her male colleagues lift the man off the bed and onto the gurney. The three medical personnel then strapped him down and Amane told me she would keep us updated on his condition. "Thank you for cooperating with us. Feel free to stop by the hospital later and check in with a doctor if you want a status update on his condition."

"Er, thanks." I told her, and the two of us bowed to each other before the mysterious stranger was wheeled out of the room.

We coincidentally happened to meet Hina Izumi at a bus stop later that night, and she gasped in horror when we told her we had picked up a blonde stranger with a red arm with bird-like features in one of the slums of Tokyo. Her shriek of dismay following our announcement startled a few people around us, causing them to give us alarmed looks. To avoid attracting further attention, the two of us left the area and went into a small secluded spot behind some trees by the sidewalk to talk about the situation further without fear of being overheard.

"He's in the hospital?" she cried out after listening to us recount the events of the day. "Oh Shingo! How could this have happened?"

"Um, he's not exactly your brother anymore."

"I know. He's some arm monster now. But the monster has my brother, and if he's in the hospital—"

"Okay, here's the situation." I said. "The doctors said he's bleeding internally and it's possible he won't live long, even on life support. Ankh is even thinking of ditching him because of this. However, I've told him not to leave Shingo's body until you get the chance to say goodbye to your brother." After saying all this in one breath I stopped myself and took another big one before continuing. "I'm sorry, but according to the doctors, your brother is practically brain dead. He was badly injured during the mugging, and though Ankh could have saved him by attaching himself to Shingo within 10 minutes of separation, he ran away to avoid this guy named Uva and came back too late to save your brother."

"But you said that Ankh still managed to talk through Shingo after you got to him."

"Yeah, but he also told us in the hospital earlier that he can't sense Shingo anymore. It is too late, Hina, trust me on this. If your love for your brother could bring him back from the dead, I would tell you to go for it, but as the situation stands, there's nothing any of us can do. For that, I'm very sorry."

Hina looked downcast when she heard this, and for a long time we stared down at the ground to observe a little butterfly fluttering around our ankles. After what seemed like ages the girl looked back up into my sympathetic eyes, and nodded. "I understand. Take me to him. I will take the time to say goodbye to my brother, and send him off to the next world with my blessing."

Ankh was sitting up in his hospital bed with a murderous expression on his face when we arrived in his room with Hina in tow. A tube had been inserted into his windpipe to help him breathe, since Shingo, being dead already, could no longer breathe on his own, and even a monster cannot breathe if its host isn't able to do so. The strain of keeping a body this way was too much for the arm monster, and he immediately catapulted himself across the room the moment Hina approached the bed, causing Shingo to fall back onto the pillows that the nurses had placed behind him.

"Good bye, dear brother." She said sadly, and held up her brother's right hand so she could stroke it for the last time. "I was, no, I am, so proud of you for willing to put yourself in the line of duty. I'm sorry things had to end like this. Please watch over me, dear brother, and please remember that I love you. I always will."

"He was a police officer, and from what I heard, a very good one at that." I commented. "I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Um…Ankh, was it? You and Eiji can keep my brother's phone. That way you and I can keep in touch if you want to. And Eiji can keep getting updates on how things are going as well."

"…"

"Ankh?"

"I suppose. I've got an attachment to it now."

"Come here, we need to see if you're okay." I said, and snatched the floating arm out of the air to give it a good inspection. "Hmm. You'll live."

"Of course I'll live. Let me contact Eiji." And with that he shook his arm, revealing the iPhone4, and started tapping the onscreen keypad. It was kind of strange to see a floating arm making a phone call, but I got used to it pretty quickly, because I had a feeling we would be stuck with this strange guy for a while. "Eiji, this is Ankh. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, we lost some Core Medals. One Kamikiri, one Tora, and one Batta medal. By the way, I found you a permanent home."

"Er wait, what?"

"Long story short, the policeman is dead and I need a new body. Thankfully I've met some girls who might be able to lead me to another body I can use, so we'll be flying with them tomorrow to in the United States. Have you heard of that country? Oh, you have? You once spent a weekend sightseeing in New York City? Where's New York City? Anyway, I figure it'll be nice to be away from the other Greeed, so I'm going to cross an ocean and stay in another country for a while. I need time to recover from Uva's attack. Yes, I'm okay. And yes, I'm not lying when I said that the policeman has passed away. I ditched—okay, I let him go. Geez, don't yell at me, Hina is okay with it, so don't you complain! And I did it because I think that's the best course of action given how bad of a beating Uva gave me."

"We don't have extra plane tickets, folks—"

"Okay, take that back. I'm going to the States to get a new body, and you can stay here to continue collecting paychecks by working at that Cous Couisser restaurant we used to stay at. Before I go though, could you stop by the local hospital? I'll need the belt and any Core Medals you have on your back. Someone else will have to be OOO. And Eiji—thanks for everything. I'm sorry I borrowed your money to pay for all these popsicles. I'll admit I was—pardon the pun—too greedy. Fine, I'll go find myself a job to pay you back for eating all the ice cream in the restaurant. I'm sorry you got a bill for it on my behalf. Now come over here so I can get my things and we can finally say goodbye to each other for real."

Ankh now put away the phone, and turned his dismembered floating limb toward me. "Now, I believe there's work to be done. You girls still haven't finished packing yet, right?"

I nodded. "That's right. And by the way, you're seriously not thinking of coming along, are you? Because I have no idea how we'll get past airport security with you in tow. Not with the new regulations they've so recently put up."

"Would you rather have me wandering around Tokyo as a dismembered arm? You have no idea how uncomfortable and unnatural I feel right now without a body."

"Yeah, it's about as unnatural as an invisible Apple fan."

"Why you-!" At this point Ankh tackled me from behind, and Kristy gave a little shriek as the arm and I began fighting and yelling all over the floor. It was only after the hospital director called for security that we finally stopped trying to kill each other. Not surprisingly, as soon as security personnel were dispatched we were subsequently booted out the door for being unruly.

We moped around at the entrance to the hospital for about ten minutes until the young man Ankh had called on the phone earlier came to give the floating hand a couple of colorful coins and a strange rectangular shaped object with slots in the front that appeared to be able to hold these coins. After exchanging a few words with the arm, the man introduced himself to us as Hino Eiji and offered us his phone number, promising us that he would keep in touch because he would want to know how Ankh was doing every now and then.

"Ankh might not want to keep in touch with me, so I figure it would be best if you two—what do you Americans call it, I heard someone say it to me when I went sight-seeing once in New York—"kept me in the loop" instead." He said as Kristy began copying his cell phone number into her own phone. She then proceeded to text herself a note to remember to sign up for an international texting plan so that we wouldn't be charged exorbitant fees for sending messages across an entire ocean. "By the way, try to stay away from the Greeed and you'll do fine…unless, of course, Ankh makes one of you the next OOO. In that case, fighting may be the only option you have."

"Huh?" I had no idea what he was talking about and so gave Eiji a confused look.

"Oh, Ankh didn't say anything about the Medals or anything along those lines yet? Don't worry though, I'm sure he'll tell you soon enough. By the way, good luck, you two. Take care, okay?"

"President Kougami doesn't know what happened to me, does he?" Ankh asked as Eiji was putting on his helmet so he could get back on the motorcycle he had used to get here.

"Ah, about that. He knows. I met Gotou on the way here and he said that he saw everything because he used a Batta Candroid to spy on the three of you. According to Gotou—he works for the Kougami Foundation by the way—the President's shipping quite a few of those Ride Vendors to New Jersey, where I believe you're going." He paused, then realization hit him and gasped in amazement. "Phew, that's far! You're in for one long ride, Ankh. You're heading to America's East Coast! As for the President, I hope he doesn't break his bank transporting all those vending machines. Then again, he's rich, so you won't ever be in any financial trouble in your battle against the Greeed."

Hearing this, Ankh typed a few words into his iPhone and a map of the United States opened in a new window on his screen. The screen then zoomed in to show the state that Eiji had mentioned. "New Jersey? Are you serious?"

"Yea, that's like, right next door to New York. Heh, don't forget to study your geography, Ankh. I suggest you buy a map when you get off the plane so you don't get lost in a strange new country." Eiji then smiled at us before lowering his motorcycle visor and revving up the engine of his vehicle. "I'll tell Chiyoko-san you've found a new home so that she doesn't worry too much about what's happened to you. And thanks for letting Hina-chan know about the fate of her brother. I was expecting you to get beat up by her again for letting her brother die, but I'm glad you were honest to her about what happened. He does mean a lot to her, after all."

Hearing this, I smiled back and gave the man a slight bow. "Thank you for stopping by, Eiji."

"Huh? Oh, please don't thank me. It's all for the sake of saving the world, so I was more than happy to help. Like I told Ankh when I was OOO, if I don't reach out my hand when I can, the regret of not doing so could make me wish I was dead." After saying this deeply meaningful phrase, he finally tilted the handlebars toward the direction of the street and merged with oncoming traffic to leave us mulling over what he had just said.

It was finally decided the next morning that Ankh would pose as a souvenir so we could get him on the plane without much fuss. This way, I figured the airport security guards wouldn't think twice about letting him pass through the metal detectors. But he inevitably set off the alarms because his arm was made up of real metal coins. However, because he did a good job of posing as a inanimate object, no-one asked us many questions, and before long we were sneakily shoving fries and bits of chicken nuggets through his palm at the airport McDonald's to keep him happy and quiet.

"I'm beginning to think I'll like this food." He mumbled as another big chunk of Big Mac went into his palm with loud slurping noises. Thankfully the man sitting behind us was eating just as loudly, so Ankh's unusual way of consuming food, as well as the fact that it was simply an arm with the ability to talk, went unnoticed. The fact that Ankh's hand was partly hidden by my large red backpack further helped him blend in with his surroundings. "I hope we'll get to eat this often."

"No." Kristy and I both answered at once. I then told him to be prepared for a lot of home cooking because at school we hated the cafeteria food at college and liked to make meals ourselves using a small kitchen in our off-campus dorm apartment.

"Humph. Well, I suppose I have no choice. Eiji did make me swear not to be too greedy, so I guess I'll have to make do with whatever you two have to offer."

"And we're already being really generous by giving you a place to stay and food whenever you need it." Kristy answered. "By the way," here she turned to face me. "It's really fortunate we're not living next to a RA or anything. They would, like, totally freak if they found out a guy was living in our quarters. Our campus policy is not exactly pro co-ed in that we can share rooms with the opposite sex."

"Speaking of living with Ankh from now on, you'll have to stop buying too many clothes." I said. "We'll need to give at least one drawer worth of space for him to store his stuff. Just for the record, we have way too many frilly dresses in the closet. Good grief, Kristy, there's no need to have a gazillion of those things in the bedroom. Think about donating them when the next clothing drive is held at our school."

"No! I love my dresses! Don't you dare donate them to charity, or else!"

"Okay, forget I asked." This time I was the one who rolled my eyes as Kristy started ranting about a girl's need to look stupendous when going out. The rant then moved onto the topic of lipstick and makeup, and here was where I drew the line.

"Whoa, Kristy! Back up. You're starting to go on a tangent. Girly-girl thought alert!"

"And so, I say, why can't I wear lipstick around this roommate? Why is lipstick so—"

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat this time, and Kristy finally got the message. She promptly made a zipping motion with her hand and pretended to throw away the imaginary zipper that had now sealed her lips shut. "Thank you. People are starting to stare."

"Continental Airlines Flight 108 to Newark is now boarding. Repeat, Continental Airlines Flight 108 to Newark is now boarding." A PA announcement now crackled over the intercom, prompting Kristy and I to stand up hastily and toss unfinished burgers and wrapping paper into the nearest trash can. After a brief squabble over who would get to carry the arm, I ended up walking out with Ankh, who had to endure being stuffed into my carry-on bag because people were likely to stare if he was in plain sight of everyone. Before entering McDonald's we had already been mobbed by a group of Japanese third graders eager to poke him with their glow sticks and didn't want to attract more attention.

A fourteen hour flight from Narita International Airport to Newark Liberty International later, Kristy and I finally managed to touch down on American soil after spending four months in Japan. As required, we had to go through the line reserved for United States citizens returning from overseas, but before we could go through airport security the two of us had to fill out declaration forms that would tell immigration officers what we were bringing back into the country.

"Let's see, we each have backpacks filled with books and our respective laptops." Kristy said as I began scribbling on the form. At this time Ankh slowly unzipped my bag from the inside so he could gawk—if arms can gawk—at foreigners for the first time in his life. He had been living among Japanese people for a few months and was thus surprised to see a diverse crowd lining up behind us to get through customs, judging by the sounds he made as I was cursing a pen that had abruptly run out of ink. "One suitcase contains some toys you brought at some mall in Akihabara, and our clothing. The other is just filled with more textbooks. Hey, do you think we should declare Ankh on this thing?"

"Er, I dunno." I replied, and put away the now useless pen. "Let's just say he's a toy for the lack of a better term."

"He-ey…" Ankh did not sound pleased when he heard this. "I am a living, breathing thing. How dare you call me a-!" But he didn't get to finish his sentence, because I zipped up the backpack once again, leaving him with nary a peephole to see out of.

"Madam!" a security guard now came over to investigate the strange limb he had seen hanging half out of my backpack just moments before. "Are you trafficking human bodies?"

"What human body?" I asked innocently. "Officer, we passed a security screening already. If I was walking around with real body parts, don't you think I would be already behind bars?"

"Well, let's see what you've got in that backpack before I decide whether or not to press charges." The guard answered, prompting me to unzip the carry-on bag once again. As I did so, Ankh let out an almost inaudible gasp as he sucked in much needed air. The guard, seeing my backpack was open, took it and began taking things out one by one. As bystanders watched, out came a couple of toy boxes. I had stacked them over Ankh to hide him from view, but now the policeman was exposing him little by little.

Out of the backpack came the boxes containing various Kamen Rider and Super Sentai toys. He finally got to Ankh and pulled the arm out of the bag to inspect it. Luckily our hitchhiking Greeed was smart enough to understand the consequences of being found out he was actually a living thing by not trying to breathe, much less move. After turning Ankh over multiple times and looking closely at it, the guard finally huffed his satisfaction.

"It's not doing anything, so I suppose you girls are off the hook." He said while handing Ankh and the backpack back to me. He then turned around to look in another direction. As Kristy helped me replace the boxes in my backpack, I placed Ankh beside us to let him breathe, since he had sneakily took the iPhone out of his palm and managed to type the word 'air' using a word processing app.

Kristy now looked at me and jerked a finger toward the line of people seeking readmission to the States. "You know, it's probably about time to leave. I say we get going or else we'll never get a taxi to take us out of here."

"Sure thing. Let's go." With that, we picked up the luggage and began hauling it toward the security checkpoints.

About two hours later, the taxi driver finally deposited us in front of our off-campus apartment at 23 Maple Avenue, which was situated merely a mile from our college campus. After paying him the fare for the ride, and thanking him for helping us bring the luggage up the short flight of stairs that led up to the front door, Kristy and I walked indoors to take an elevator up to the fifth floor. The whole time Ankh sat silently on my arm and did not move. It was only after we had gotten into an empty elevator that he finally spoke up.

"So you live here, huh?" he asked, and watched—if arms could watch—as I pushed the number 5 button on the panel beside the closing doors. "Doesn't look too different from what I've seen in Japan."

"Our apartment's modest at best, so don't expect too much." I warned the arm. "But we do have a spare bedroom, and you can take that before and after you find a suitable human."

"Yeah, we don't want you to come in and out of our room as you please." Kristy added. "No offense, but just remember to call out or knock before you come into our space, okay? And we'll do the same."

"Dinner is always at six. We often eat breakfast and lunch at school, so you'll have to make do with leftovers most of the time." I said. "And when you do get a body, I expect you to help out with the shopping. I will not have you eating us out of hearth and home."

"That doesn't sound fair."

"You are getting food and a roof over your head—I mean arm. Like I said, that's a pretty generous offer. But you have to pitch in to do your part and help us with the rent. I'll tell the landlord you're living with us so he knows there's an extra occupant. And Ankh, don't spend too much money on popsicles. It's summer now but winter will soon be here, and I don't want to have to take care of you if you get sick."

"You girls worry too much." At this point the doors opened, allowing us to finally get out of the small, cramped elevator. "And I won't splurge too much on popsicles, anyway!"

"Hmm." Here I reached into my wallet and pulled out a receipt I had saved. "Then why did we pay for 7 popsicles back the airport? Good god, I think we're going to have to prevent you from ever getting your hands on cash or credit until I'm sure you won't break our weekly budget."

"I was hungry."

"Ankh, you ate two McChickens, about half a package of medium fries, and a quarter of my Big Mac when we were still in Narita International Airport. How you managed to still have room for seven popsicles is beyond me."

"I was hungry!"

"Whatever. Ah, here we are." At this point I reached our apartment door and began fishing in my pocket for the key that would open it. "Home, sweet home, everyone! Dibs on the shower, by the way."

"Yay." Said Kristy in a voice that told me she wasn't looking forward to living with another roommate, especially one who was male. Still, she offered to take my suitcase into our bedroom and show Ankh around as I headed off toward the bathroom for a much needed bath.

That night, over a simple dinner of mashed potatoes, peas, and roasted turkey slices with homemade gravy, Ankh explained how he had awoken and freed the other Greeed, allowing them to prey on humankind's desires much like they had done 800 years ago. In addition, he told us about how, because each Greeed used to have 10 Medals, when one of each set of color corresponding Medals were destroyed, their kind evolved to become sentient beings filled with a desire to become complete. After I helped him wipe his hand clean of all food, as he had to consume food through his palm without a proper mouth, he then produced from his palm a red colored coin with a gold rim and a plain silver one. It was one of the many coin like objects Eiji had given him when we met him at the entrance to the hospital prior to our plane ride back to the United States.

"The red medal's my Core Medal." He explained. "To us Greeeds, the Core Medals are what keep us together. The silver Cell Medals make up the rest of our bodies. Imagine a popsicle, if you will. The Core Medals will be the stick, and the Cell Medals the popsicle that surrounds the stick. Without the stick, well, your popsicle wouldn't hold together very long, would it?"

"And this specific Core Medal's yours." I said slowly as my fingers picked up the Medal, which was surprisingly cold to the touch. A bird-like design had been etched onto the surface of one side of the coin. The other side had a single raised bar on it.

"That's obvious, isn't it? That's the Taka Medal. It's just one of the many Core Medals that used to make up my body. At the moment I'm more interested in finding Cells so I can reconstruct more limbs, but I would like to find out what happened to the rest of my Medals. 9 Medals make up a Greeed's full body, and each Greeed is made up three different types of animals. In my case I have two Taka Medals—one for use in the OOO driver and one to keep my body together, but I still need one more Taka to get my head back. I'm missing three Peacock and three Condor Medals for my chest and lower body, respectively. And I have no idea where they are, though I suspect the Kougami Foundation has them in its big Medal Vault somewhere."

"You mean you don't know exactly where the others are?" I asked, and flicked a pea into Ankh's bowl. "That's bad, isn't it?"

"Of course it's bad. How am I going to face my fellow Greeed if I can't even walk properly?" Ankh replied as the rest of his dinner went through his palm. "All right, I'm full. Now give me back my Medals. You two have had plenty of time to look at them."

His palm first turned to Kristy, and she didn't even blink as he plucked his Cell Medal out of her hands and "swallowed" it. I then tossed his Core Medal back, allowing him to float out of the room to tinker once again with his iPhone4.

Once I heard the door to his room close with a loud click, I nodded in my roommate's direction to attract her attention. "Hey, are you really comfortable with the idea of living with a floating hand for God knows how long?"

"Yes—I mean no. I mean, it's going to be so weird living with Ankh from now on." She answered. The fact that her mouth was still full of mashed potatoes made this reply sound a bit slurred. "But we'll get along okay. I just don't get this friendly vibe from him though. He appears so aloof and suspicious of us."

"It's his first time in a new country, so let's just let him settle in at his own pace, okay?" I told her, and shoved the last bite of rice into my mouth. "I'm going to the library later to work on those hieroglyph translations for Professor Kane. Could you drop me there on your way to work at Red Lobster?"

Kristy looked at the time when I asked her this, and after a moment's hesitation she nodded. "I can do that. Would you like me to pick you up too?"

"I'll take the bus home. Before we go though, remind me to tell Ankh to stay in the apartment. I don't want the local newspaper to print any 'arm sightings' if I can help it."

"Naturally. And since you're going to the library anyway, could you email Mr. Adams that we'll be taking her offer of a overnight riding excursion at Whitewater Lake after graduation?"

"Sure. I miss racing you on the lakeshore. Who wants to bet that my Thunder beats your Flora again?"

"In your dreams!" Kristy hollered loudly at this time, and flushed red when I laughed in response, since she knew her mare had never won a race against my gelding.

Despite having been told to stay in the apartment, Ankh decided that he wanted to go outside nonetheless. He had heard us talking from his room and was eager to prove that he didn't have to be stuck indoors all the time. After all, he thought, they did say I could hunt for a body. With that thought in mind, he quietly opened his bedroom door—taking care to close it firmly behind him after doing so—before reaching into a drawer in the kitchen and taking a spare set of keys from it so he could let himself back into the apartment later in his new human form. Then, after making sure that no-one was out taking a late night walk around the apartment complex, he opened the window and let himself fly off into the cold, moonless night.

Ankh spent a good hour or two wandering around town, until he happened to witness a gang of burly African American drug addicts beating up a much thinner, blonde American youth wearing a Phi Alpha Theta sweatshirt in a dimly lit alley. From his hiding place behind a dumpster, he witnessed the leader of the gang take a piece of rope and attempt to strangle the victim with it. He watched, somewhat disgusted, as a potential body was subject to much abuse by its tormentors.

At last he could take it no more and rushed over to the teen's rescue. With his claws he was able to inflict quite a few deep scratches on every gangster's face, and because he was merely an arm, was able to easily dodge the numerous bullets that were fired at him from the gangsters' guns. It wasn't until everyone had run out of bullets that he was able to scare them all off by hitting them repeatedly with any Cell Medals he could spare. Once they had all run off did he pick up said Medals and inspect the unconscious victim of gang violence for any injuries that might hinder his journey home.

"He will do." Ankh said to himself, and without further ado attached himself to the teen's right arm. There was no resistance from the youth as he did so, since Daniel Piers, as this man was apparently called, had been oxygen deprived for a little over a minute, and he was no longer breathing. Faint signs of life told Ankh that this man was hanging to life by a thread, but he decided against finding someone else because it was better to control a person who had no idea what was going on to his body than someone who might resist him. "Now, I believe I need to check up on something."

Ankh now walked his human body over to a streetlight in order to read the new messages he had received on his iPhone4. Since no-one else was around, he let his Greeed arm stay visible, but took care to duck back into the alley whenever he heard a car coming, or footsteps that sounded like they were coming toward him. "'Monsters are terrorizing parts of San Francisco—strange elephant creature mowed down cars and police officers in its quest for someone named 'ohs'.'" A text message on his phone read.

For a moment Ankh didn't understand the message, until he used his host's memories to make some sense of the English language. He then went online to Google Maps and made the correct conclusion that his fellow Greeeds were tracking him down. Though they had not yet reached the East Coast, where he was, they were likely to find him very soon. He also cursed Mezuru for being the voice of reason in the group, because only she would have the ability to think up this plan to hunt for him. That, and Uva, the bug Greeed, had never forgiven him for narrowly escaping from a trap set up by his fellow Greeed.

"Damn them." He said to himself. "Now one of the girls will have to be OOO, and take possession of three of the Core Medals I have. That, and she's likely to lose some of them too, if she's not careful. I'll be damned if, like Eiji, she messes up big time and doesn't know how to fight."

As he was muttering this, the ice cream truck suddenly stopped by him. The sight of popsicle ads glued to the side of the vehicle immediately attracted him, and he went up to the truck after plunging a hand into his human's wallet and finding more than enough 1 dollar bills to buy five or so of the cold, sweet treats. Knowing how much I would complain if I found out he was buying "ice candies" again though, Ankh only asked for one strawberry flavored ice pop and left the vicinity before a mob of children streamed out of a nearby apartment complex to make similar requests. He let out a disgusted snort as the youngsters began crying out for their treats, then climbed a tree to enjoy his dessert without being disturbed by the noisy humans in the area.

The popsicle-loving Greeed who was now a permanent guest in our apartment startled me the next morning when I was preparing some bacon for breakfast. The pan was sizzling and I was in the process of turning the fried meat over when Ankh breezed in with a comb in one hand and his iPhone4 in the other. Of course, when I first saw Ankh in Daniel's body, I didn't know it was him.

"Dan-Daniel Piers? How did you get in here?" I wanted to know at first. "Since you're here, I might as well bid you welcome. Come and join us for breakfast—Holy cow!" At this point Ankh shot me a disgusted look and the lower part of his right arm became covered in Cell Medals, but only for a moment, because the Cell Medals helped Ankh's monster arm take shape. "Ankh?"

"Is that how you say 'good morning' to people around here?" Ankh wanted to know, and smirked when he saw my jaw drop in surprise after hearing him speak English. "Well, as you can see, I've taken a human body as a host, and I quite like it."

"Oh…my…god…"

A moment of silence ensued, broken only when the Greeed put down his comb to switch the iPhone4 with his iPad, which had an application that apparently allowed him to track down the other Greeeds. A map of the US popped up, and when I asked to see what he was doing, Ankh used his fingers to manipulate the map until it zoomed in on the state of Nebraska. 4 different colored dots were huddled together in a Elmer Glue factory in the city of Omaha. He spoke again, but this time he switched back to Japanese because it was the language he was most comfortable speaking in. It was weird listening to Daniel, who had never taken a single Japanese course in his entire life, speak like a pro, but I reminded myself that this was not really him who was speaking. "Those four dots represent my fellow comrades, who are apparently scouring the country for any signs of me. Just last night they were in San Francisco, and I'm sure that by tomorrow they'll be on the East Coast. If not here, then somewhere close to here."

"And that's bad. What happened with Daniel, anyway?"

After a moment's hesitation Ankh told me what had happened last night, causing me to exclaim loudly in response. "Good lord! What is with you and nearly dead people?"

"Hey, do I want to control a body that refuses to acknowledge my presence? Of course not. Besides, it's a give and take situation. And you know I like to take. Anyway, I figure Uva's the worst Greeed you'll ever meet, and he thinks I have all the Core Medals and is only faking dismemberment to throw everyone else off track. So I bet we'll end up fighting him the most because of that. Mezuru is more reasonable, I'm sure we could work out a deal somehow with her. Gamel is the dumbest, so you shouldn't have any trouble with him or his Yummys. And Kazari…well, he's a cunning one. Like a cat, he's quiet, but at the same time, deadly. Tread carefully around him. "

"Speaking of cats, Kristy's going to fetch Bast from the animal shelter later today. Now that we're back from our four month long study abroad program in Japan, she's here to stay again." I said as the bacon continued to sizzle in the buttered pan. "Can I trust you to feed her and make sure she doesn't run outside or anything if we girls must go out? At least until you get a job?"

"Hey! I'm not your servant, you know! I have rights!"

"Monsters have rights?" I asked, and burst out laughing, much to the Greeed's disgust. We then heard the sound of the doorknob turning, and Ankh then put away the iPad before Kristy, who was not as interested in Yummys and Greeeds as I was, came in with two bags full of cat food in her arms. "Hey, Kris! Back so soon?"

"Petsmart ran out of Friskies, so we're going to have to make do with Purina Cat Chow for now." She said. "I also have a few cans of 100% organic Fancy Feast."

"Do they list byproducts?"

"No."

"Corn meal?"

"No."

"Animal digest?"

"No!"

"Were they cheap?"

"No! Good god, Michelle, I know how to read labels. Geez." She then walked into the kitchen to put the cat food in the cabinet above the counter and smiled at Ankh as she began emptying the plastic bags she had brought from Petsmart. "Hi Dan! Here to enjoy Michelle's awesome bacon again?"

"Actually, that's Ankh." I said, and turned off the fire so I could start placing slices of bacon on three different plates. "Apparently he's gotten Daniel to be his vessel for the foreseeable future."

"Cool." Kristy answered. She then noticed Ankh's arm and turned to shoot me a look of disbelief. "Wait a minute. Fellow-roommate-slash-classmate-slash-animal-lover say what?"

"I said that's Ankh." I replied, even as my hands reached into the refrigerator to grab a carton of eggs sitting on the top shelf. I then straightened up when I realized something. "Wait a second…That's your boyfriend he just possessed, right?"

"Oh gods." Kristy went over to the kitchen table and sat down in front of her chosen plate of bacon before rubbing her temples, as if to ward off an impending headache. "This is not good."

"So I guess you guys have to pretend you still have a relationship, eh?"

"It's not that simple! I mean, I can't go around dating Daniel if Ankh's possessing him." Here she turned to the Greeed, who was feigning interest in seeing me crack eggs into a porcelain bowl with flower designs around its circumference. "Now everyone will notice that he's not the real Daniel anymore. I mean, Dan was never a fan of Apple products, so for people to suddenly see him walking around with an iPhone…well, I can't help but say that a lot of people will be suspicious."

"Speaking of suspicious, could you please have the decency to disguise that arm of yours when we go out, Ankh?" I asked, then ducked as the eggs hit the oiled pan, causing them to sizzle and spew oil in every direction possible.

"No duh."

"Thank you. Now, I believe it's time you practiced helping out around the house. We're not going to be cooking breakfast a lot at home, so you might as well learn how to make breakfast for yourself." Here I held out a spatula and waved it in Ankh's face. "Here you go. Today's lesson: How to Make Scrambled Eggs."

"You're not serious."

"Oh, but I am. Now grab this spatula and let's get cooking. And don't you dare complain. We are not your servants. Only the cat will always be waited on hand and foot, since it doesn't have the ability to prepare its own meals."

"Grr."

"Don't growl, it's unsightly. Hurry and start moving the eggs around before they get solid and burnt."

To my delight, and Kristy's surprise, Ankh's scrambled eggs came out pretty good. They ended up slightly on the singed side because he spent about a minute complaining that as a monster he didn't have to do the work of humans, but still tasted okay. The only thing I didn't like, however, was the addition of a little too much salt, but other than that, breakfast wasn't too bad, and so I rated his work a B and noted he had put quite a bit of effort into making the meal.

"Put scallions and tuna in next time." I told him. "Just for variety. Maybe a bit of meat. That way we have adequate protein in our diets."

"Whatever." Ankh answered nonchalantly as he lifted his cup of milk to his lips. As he proceeded to taste cow's milk for the first time, I asked Kristy to pass the ketchup so I could squeeze another quarter sized amount of the stuff onto my plate.

"Mm." Kristy smiled with a mouth full of eggs and then drained what was left of her own milk in one go. "Done! Time to get ready for school. You guys had better hurry up, or we'll be late. Ankh, you're in Daniel's body so I'll expect you to go to his classes for him after you've had a chance to check out your—I mean Daniel's—dorm."

"Man, I can't believe we still have school." I said. "What's left of it, anyway."

"Just two more weeks, and we'll be free." She replied, grinning. "I can't wait to show Professor Tomodai the essays I wrote while in Japan."

"And I have to go to school newspaper office today to submit my photos. I'll meet you in the Library around five. Come find me in one of the private study rooms on the second floor."

"Sure."

"Hey, how come I have to come too?" Ankh interrupted. "Just because I'm using this human's body—"

"—doesn't mean you can make him fail to graduate. And don't forget to call his Mom once a week. Kristy says Mrs. Piers likes to know how her son's doing from time to time."

"Like I care about his mother!"

"Ankh—" I threw him a warning glance, and he immediately shut up, knowing it was pointless to argue. "We are not going to come straight out with the truth. If you revealed your true identity now, a lot of people's heads will spin. It's best to play along, at least until graduation."

"Which, lucky you, is just around the corner." Kristy added. "After that, we'll let you do whatever you want—as long as you promise to find yourself a job and help us pay the rent."

"Exactly."

"This is stupid. I suppose I have, yet again, no choice in the matter, right?"

"Right. Now, if you'll follow me to the bathroom, I'll bring out a couple of toothbrushes and toothpaste for you to choose from. Daniel's memories will help you know what you have to do with them. Come along, Bird Boy."

"Hey, don't call me that! The name's Ankh, Ankh!"

Ankh met me in the library later that day as planned, since Daniel, before being possessed by the bird-type Greeed, had been working with me to translate portions of an inscription found on the walls of the temple at Karnak, Egypt. Before arriving, however, he sent out a Taka Candroid he had brought with him from Japan with a note saying that he would be a little late because a girl told him he owed her $2.30 for buying a Snapple with her money, and he needed to pay her back first before coming over.

"PS. This is embarrassing." The note, written in Japanese, read. "I am sending this Candroid from the bathroom to avoid getting suspicious looks. The girl is yelling her head off—are humans usually this annoying?"

The postscript sounded funny, and I chuckled in response. After thanking the hawk shaped creature and watching it return to its Can Mode, I then went back to work, taking care to turn the thing around first so that it didn't look too much like a Coca Cola bottle and risk being taken by some unsuspecting guy who could enter the study room at any time. As I debated which vowels to use in order to spell King Nfrkpr's name, I then decided to do what every Egyptologist does when confronted with an situation like this, insert 'e's unless someone else says otherwise. So Nfrkpr was spelled Neferkepre and left at that.

The Greeed met me as he had promised around the chosen time with an armful of notes he had gathered from the drawers in Daniel's room. Using his host's memories and knowledge of Ancient Egyptian, he was able to put together a understandable but slightly incorrect translation of a poem dedicated to Amun-Ra, the king of the gods, and I had to correct it after going over the fine points of Egyptian grammar with him.

"Did you notice anything interesting while you were doing the translation?" I asked him in the middle of explaining the 'when in doubt, put e's in' rule that Egyptologists currently followed when attempting to reconstruct the five thousand year old language. Daniel already knew this, but Ankh wasn't too happy about having to constantly dive into his host's memories for the answers to the questions he had in his mind at the moment. "Before we go any further, do you have any questions, comments, anything at all regarding the subject?"

"It's interesting to see that my name has roots in this language." He answered, pointing to the Egyptian symbol of life I had drawn on a piece of paper. "And considering I am the only thing keeping this man alive, the name certainly fits."

"You are like, 800 years old." I reminded him. "If you could go up to an Ancient Egyptian right now, he or she would certainly say that you have received the ankh of the gods and thus eternal life."

"That's true. We Greeeds are immortal." Ankh answered. "That is, if we haven't been killed in a really violent way. Oh, did I mention we're near impossible to kill? The previous Kamen Rider OOO was powerful, but even he could only seal, not destroy, us. As beings made out of coins, we are by nature inorganic and not very susceptible to decay."

"If you're not careful, your Medals will rust." I warned him. "I guess that's why you guys don't mess around with water too much. And why I had to yell at you five times before you agreed to go into the shower in your human form last night."

"I don't like (emphasis, not English in this case) taking showers, okay?" Ankh glared at me when he said this.

"Showers keep you clean. Besides, we don't want people telling each other to avoid Daniel Piers with a 10 foot pole because he smells so bad. And if you don't dunk yourself in the tub at least three times a week, I think Kristy and I might have to take drastic measures to prevent the apartment from stinking up too. Believe me, if we evict you, we're not going to change our minds about it. So unless you want Daniel Piers to be a homeless guy, you had better do as you're told. Until you get your full monstrous body back, showers are a must."

"Damn it."

"Now, shall we return to our work? Can I see what you've got for Temple Inscription 35-A?"

"According to my notes, the inscription reads as follows: "Hail, Isis, queen of the gods, smile down upon Egypt as thou hast done for years, so that this country may continue to receive thy blessing…"

"Mashed potatoes, peas, and beef please for the two of us—Ouch!" Ankh was in the middle of ordering dinner for us at the dining hall when a slightly overweight and rude African American freshman rudely shoved him out of the way and demanded to be served first. "Baka human! I was here first!"

"I'm heah, dahling, so move aside." The girl answered haughtily. "Wouldn't want ta hur' thah prettay face of yahs."

"The kid's right, you have to go to the back of the line and wait for your turn." A cafeteria manager who happened to witness the scene said. "Come with me, ma'am."

"Don't 'come with me' me, jerk." The girl shot back. When Ankh didn't move, she swung a meaty fist toward him in an effort to get him to move away from the plate one of the cafeteria ladies had prepared for him. However, she did not know that it was no longer meek and shy Daniel Piers who was standing in line in front of her, and yelped when this seemingly weak looking boy suddenly lashed out and grabbed her arm in a grip so strong, she thought her wrist bones would crack. "Ow, ow, ow! Securahty! Get 'his baoy off me!"

"First, don't call me boy, it's insulting." Ankh told her in a 'don't mess with me or you'll regret it' tone, and narrowed his eyes to show how annoyed he was with this crazy woman. "Second, you cannot possibly hope to beat me, weak as I may seem at the moment, so don't try anything that you might regret later."

"Um, Daniel, this might be a good time to back off before someone gets hurt for real. Drop her, now." I warned him, and Ankh shot me a exasperated look before reluctantly letting go of the woman's hand. As expected the girl began screaming as soon as she was released, but the manager of the dining staff knew that Ankh had done nothing wrong, and ended up calling security to throw her out instead of the Greeed.

Later we would learn that her dining privileges had been revoked for a month. Ankh was not the first person she had pushed aside to get food without bothering to wait in line, and this was the last straw, according to the manager, who had received numerous complaints already about this 'onna no baka' (idiot woman), as Ankh took to calling her for weeks afterward (Greeeds apparently can hold grudges for a long time).

As we watched a whole group of police take away the kicking and screaming girl, I turned to Ankh with a sigh of relief. "Glad that worked out okay. I'm just happy you didn't use too much force in this situation."

"Humph. I would have liked to teach that onna a lesson." Ankh answered in Japanese, causing people to give us funny looks in response. "What are you all looking at? It's a free country right? I can speak whatever language I want, and there's no rule that says everyone must talk in English. Right?"

"True," someone now called out from the back of the line. "But Dan, why are you speaking a language that you have never taken courses on in your entire life?"

It turned out that the speaker who had answered Ankh's question was Daniel's friend, who had lost contact with him after the night he was attacked by gangsters. Naturally, the first thing he wanted to know was why Ankh had not returned any of the twenty calls he had made to him afterwards, but the two of us declined to answer the question truthfully.

"If your battery died, I like, totally understand." The guy said. "But it's been like, days now. You never keep that cell phone off more than a day, so why do it now?" As he asked this I saw Ankh instinctively reach into his pocket to see if his iPhone4 was still there. "Hmm?"

"I dunno." Ankh answered. "I guess I'm not really interested in keeping that phone anymore."

"Did you get a new phone, then?" The guy, whose name was Brian Comber, wanted to know.

In response, Ankh smirked, and I nearly had a heart attack when he held up the iPhone4 for everyone to see. "I got this, see. Very useful human tool, the iPhone. It's been a godsend, in a way." He then turned it on to show Brian that it was working.

"Oh." Said Brian. After the information sank in, his eyes lit up, and he grinned from ear to ear. "Cool beans. I never thought you would like Apple products, you being a AT&T fan and all, but an iPhone4 is like, the best thing on the planet right now."

"He's got an iPad too, now that we're on the subject." I said, hoping to get this conversation over with, but Brian was now even more intrigued and unwilling to let us go to a table and eat in peace.

"An iPad too! Dude, that makes us even closer pals now! You have got to show me all the apps you've got on that thing!"

"No, he's not going to show off his new toys right now and boy, are we gonna be late for class if you keep bothering us." I said while turning Ankh around so that he was now facing the seating area of the cafeteria. "It was nice meeting you, by the way. See you around, Brian."

"No, wait, I want to hear more about your new love for Apple products!" Brian wailed, but I was already dragging Ankh away as fast as I could toward the southernmost corner of the dining hall.

"Like I'd believe that!" Ankh snapped later that evening above the sound of a can of Fancy Feast opening. This was for our cat, who was sitting on the kitchen floor and pacing around restlessly as she waited to be fed. "There's no way they could be here this quickly."

"Your iPad says otherwise." I told him, and held it up so he could see a yellow dot heading toward our part of the neighborhood. "Looks like one of your friends is looking to pay you a visit."

"Kazari, that double-crossing bastard." The Greeed growled. After using a pair of chopsticks to dump as much of the Fancy Feast into Bast's bowl as best as he could, he tossed the can into the trash and began heading for the door. "Stay here. I'll head him off."

"Shouldn't I go with you?" I asked him. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"Are you serious? Look, if I need help, I'll call." Ankh replied, and tossed me a green soda can. "The Batta Candroid acts as a walkie-talkie, so if I activate mine, I should be able to contact you from a distance."

"That's good. Make sure you actually use it if you're in danger, okay?"

"What's it with you women and need to address safety issues?" Ankh asked angrily while bending over to slip on a pair of Daniel's sneakers."Just because I'm merely an arm right now doesn't mean I'm helpless."

"Sorry, I'm just naturally protective of people I know. Just…whatever you do, try to come home in one piece."

"Like that'll be hard. Kazari's not dumb, but I can take that dastardly cat. Uva, on the other hand, is someone to avoid at all costs." Ankh then opened the door, allowing bright sunlight to stream into the apartment. "I'm off."

"Take care!" I called back, only to be answered with a loud bang as the door slammed shut behind him.

Once out of the apartment, Ankh went down the steps leading up to the front door and turned the corner to hike up a steep hill that Acorn Hill Road was situated on, all the while keeping an eye on his Greeed Searcher App installed on his iPhone. When contemplating where to go next, an old lady wearing a dark black dress came up to him and pressed a button on the streetlight beside the two of them, then turned to admire his looks.

"My, what a handsome young lad you are." She said. "My eyes may not be as sharp as they once were, but I know a good-looking boy when I see one." She chuckled then, and lifted a finger to point at a sturdy oak tree on the other side of the road. "I would like to cross the road, but am afraid of doing so alone. Normally my granddaughter accompanies me to the market, but today she's apparently busy. Children these days are so interested in technology, they don't even know how to communicate face-to-face with actual people anymore. Like you, they glue their eyes to screens and refuse to acknowledge the real world around them."

"I see." Ankh answered absentmindedly, as his thoughts were still on Kazari and what he thought the cat Greeed might do to him or the girls he lived with if word ever got out that he was planning to make one of us the next OOO.

"So, if it's all right with you, could you please escort me across the street? I hate to rely on strangers, but I am certainly not very comfortable walking alone down the street anymore. I cannot hear very well, and sometimes these crazy youths run people over."

Ankh looked at her, then watched as the 'don't walk' sign blinked off and the word 'walk' flashed on a digital screen on the other side of the road. Using her cane for support, the old lady gave Ankh one last look and began hobbling toward the road, since she thought he wasn't going to help her at all. Seeing that she was so slow, the Greeed contemplated helping her cross, but he didn't have to do that, because a second later a miniature gust of yellow colored wind blew her across the street. Thankfully the wind wasn't very strong, and she somehow landed safely on the other side and into the arms of a very helpful, kind and caring couple on the other side of the road.

The bushes rustled then, and a silver haired young man wearing a Yankees baseball cap and a yellow and black checkered shirt with blue jeans emerged from the forage. He grinned evilly at the old lady before turning his attention to Ankh, whose eyes kept looking from his iPhone4 to him until a mental connection was made between the two.

"Kazari?"

"Long time no see, Ankh." The man, who had now been identified as Kazari answered. "So you live around here, huh?"

"What's it to you?" Ankh answered. His hand changed form and he pocketed the iPhone before pointing a clawed index finger covered in green glittery nail polish at his former comrade. "What do you want, anyway?"

"I'm just giving you another chance to be my friend again. Nothing to it, right?" Kazari asked him. "I know you told me last time that humans are more honest with their feelings, but are they really? Humans are capable of lying too."

"Eiji never lied to me, and he, despite being very simple-minded, was reliable and could be counted on to get things done right if asked. On the other hand, Kazari, I don't know how many times you have double-crossed me. How can I ever trust you again?"

"Aw c'mon." replied Kazari, and he sat down on a stone barrier separating the sidewalk from a blueberry bush growing beneath an apple tree close to the pedestrian crossing. "Can't we just, like the humans say, bury the hatchet? There's no need to get mad or anything."

Ankh grunted, then looked away and appeared to be lost in thought. After a few seconds he turned back to Kazari. "What's the catch?"

"Forget about OOO. If you're looking for a replacement for that human you teamed up with in Japan, you can stop. Just hand me the Lion Medal in your possession, and you're free to go. I will make sure that Uva and Mezuru and Gamel leave you alone for a while in return for one Core Medal."

"Without OOO to help me get enough Cell Medals to help me rebuild my body, teaming up with you will be worthless." Ankh answered. "Besides, the girls I'm living with right now may be a little too strict for my liking, but they too are honest, decent beings. I'll give them this much credit, at least."

"So you would choose to defy us? Fine. But just so you know, I too can be honest if I want to be. Look, I managed to snitch this from that Gamel oaf when no-one was looking." Kazari then reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver medal with a gold rim. Using his hawk eyes, Ankh was able to tell that it was a Elephant Core Medal. "You want this? Then give me all of Mezuru's Medals instead of the Lion Medal. I think I'll let you keep that for now. What is OOO going to be able to do with the lady's Medals, anyway?"

"Are you serious?" Ankh let out a snort of contempt as he ran a hand through his hair. "Have you forgotten our true nature, Kazari? We're Greeed. We aren't supposed to know the meaning of the words 'compromise' or 'share', or even 'give and take'."

"Give Mezuru's Medals to me, or I'll send out a Yummy out to terrorize the town." Kazari's eyes glinted dangerously when he said this. He turned around then, and grabbed a homeless man off the blanket he was sitting on before wrapping an arm around the poor tramp's throat. "This guy wants money, doesn't he? Should I turn him into one of my parasitic Yummies, you would be helpless, since you have not yet chosen the next OOO, who is the only person capable of defeating us. And I don't think these girls would want to hurt him, bless their poor souls. So there."

Ankh growled in response upon hearing Kazari present this not so favorable compromise—this plan would deprive him of four Core Medals and he would only gain one in return—but he had the feeling that unless he agreed to the other Greeed's proposal, things could go very badly. He could not be sure I or Kristy would be willing to fight as OOO, and even if we did agree to help him save the world, we wouldn't want to hurt anyone, least of all homeless beggars. After what seemed like ages, he decided the loss of four Core Medals was worth it because Gamel's Medal would give OOO a better advantage in fights, and held out his Greeed arm, palm up, toward Kazari.

"Take them then!" he yelled angrily, as if doing so would relieve him of the pressure that the devious cat had put upon him, and Kazari grinned when he caught the Medals that Ankh had just spewed from his hand. "Do with them what you will, and leave me alone!"

"Now this is more like it." Kazari now put the scared man he had held 'hostage' none too gently back on his blanket and simply smirked when the man, at a loss for words, blubbered incoherently, and waved his arms at the strange young man who had used him as a bargaining chip in a conversation he couldn't understand. The part of the blanket that the tramp was sitting on then slowly turned a darker shade of blue, and the cat Greeed stepped back in disgust when he realized the former hostage had just wet himself with fear. "Ugh! Humans are so disgusting."

"Maybe you shouldn't have scared him." Ankh answered nonchalantly from his position next to a nearby vendor cart, and he raised his now human right arm toward Kazari to remind him that there was still one part of the deal not resolved. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't decided to hold the person hostage in the first place." After paying the man in charge of the food cart with some money he had found in Daniel's wallet, he held up a hot dog toward the Greeed. "They call this a hot dog. Want one?"

"No thanks. Here's your Medal." So saying, Kazari tossed the Elephant Medal into the air, and Ankh rushed over to get it before coming back to the cart to receive his change. The two Greeeds then glared at each other one last time before parting ways.

Professor Dawson's eyes glittered in delight as his gaze fell upon a poor hapless teenager sleeping on his binder in the front row of his religious theory class.

"Ah ha!" he cried out, startling the freshman so badly his butt left his seat for a moment. "Dave! Please, enlighten us. Why can't we define God? Why can't we say that the Big Mac, for instance, is God, since we're on the topic of why everybody loves McDonald's so much? What's wrong with defining God as 'two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun'?"

"Because it's food?" The extremely sleepy student replied, even as his head began to droop once again.

"Exactly! God isn't food. So what is he?"

"Nonexistent." Ankh answered in a monotone, causing Professor Dawson himself to jump out of his seat.

"Score! Daniel, you win an A for the day. This is exactly what Dawkins in his book The God Delusion was trying to tell his readers. Did you by chance read the entire book?"

"Do I look it?" Ankh answered, and Professor Dawson smiled.

"Sure do, son. Now, on to tonight's homework…"