A/N Hi!

I don't own Avatar... but I'd like to.

The story takes place during the movie. RDA's given Jake more than 3 months, he' mated with Neytiri but RDA hasn't ruined the forest yet. I'm veeery sorry if there's grammar mistakes but English isn't my first language and I'm trying really hard.

Chapter 1

I woke up at the middle of the night to find Jas curled into a ball, sleeping next to me. He was holding his Teddy-bear tightly and his blonde hair was all damp with sweat. 'Nightmare again' I thought as I watched him sleeping. I couldn't blame him… after all that happened I would have nightmares too if I was him.

"Wake up, honey, you have to go to your bed." I said softly, stroking his hair. As much as I wanted him to stay, to hug him and comfort him, I knew he should go to his bed. He was five after all and it was time for him to grow up. To be more like… his father.

That thought made my heart ache and my stomach contract painfully. So I tried not to think about it.

"Mom, please. Just for tonight" Jas pleaded with half-closed eyes. He was so sleepy, I felt bad for waking him.

"You've said that before" I lifted him easy because he wasn't heavy at all. He protested at first but then he fell asleep again. I sighed softly and walked down the hallway to his room.

The door was wide open, so I wouldn't wake him up again, trying to open it. I came into the room and put him in his bed, bending over the wooden barrier. But when I started to withdraw, I saw that his tiny hand was gripping my nightgown.

I smiled at his sleeping face and gently put his hand away. I remembered Jake used to do exactly the same…

Jas made some sweet sleepy sound and turned to the side. Taking a deep breath I walked out the room. I needed some sleep myself… I was so tired.

…

Today was the day. Jas was so excited it was comical to watch him. But I…I was nervous. I didn't have time to enjoy my son's amusing behavior. I had first to pack everything and then call Samantha. I've already told her, well not everything but almost, so she would come here sometimes to take care of the plants and clean the house. Until we come back. 'If we come back…' I thought sadly.

"Jas, will you need your Teddy-bear?" I asked him quietly.

He stopped dead in his tracks, turned over and looked into my eyes as if I was asking him 'Oh, hey, by the way, do like strawberry ice cream?' It was just so funny…I rushed to him and lifted him high in the air, smiling lovingly.

"Okay, I get it. You need it"

"Of course I do, mom. You didn't even have to ask" he responded sounding more like an adult than like the child he was.

Jas was matured beyond his years, which made me worried sometimes. He was just so…so like his father. Not all the time but there were moments in which I could see Him in Jas… it was painful but it made me proud at the same time.

I sighed and put him back down on the floor, smiling all the time. "Do you want to help me?" I offered and he nodded eagerly. "Okay, make a list of what you want to take with you. And then put all the things into your trunk."

"Yes, sir" he saluted and rushed to his room, as I laughed softly.

Through all these years I have never felt sorry for giving birth to Jas. Not even once. Even though I knew I'll have to raise him alone without his father, without any help, even though it hurt sometimes.

"Mom" I heard Jas's voice from the other room. "How long we'll be there?"

I took a deep breath. How could I answer his question, when I didn't know it myself? And he had SO many questions…uncomfortable ones.

"I…I don't really know, honey" I confessed, biting my lip.

"No, I was talking about the time we will spend on the space ship…" I swallowed a laugh at his childish comment; he was so cute. I walked down the hallway to his boyish blue room and opened the wooden door. It was such a mess there, although I remember cleaning it yesterday.

"A few years, honey…nearly six" I responded, picking up some of his toys. "Will you take Mr. Bun and Mrs. Bunny with you?"

"A few years!?" his wide childish eyes got even bigger. I smiled at him and squatted down.

"You won't even feel them passing." I promised, petting his hair. Jas was looking at me in disbelieve. "So…You won't take Mr. Bun and Mrs. Bunny with you?" I teased "Okay, I'll just put them…"

"No mommy! I'm taking them with me!" he protested and I gave him the buns, chuckling softly. He put them in the trunk and then continued litter his room, throwing things everywhere.

I sighed and went to my bedroom where I had left my trunk unpacked. There were clothes on the bed, I wasn't even sure will I need them. I knew I won't be in my original body most of the time but… I had to ask Grace as soon as we arrive on Pandora.

I phoned Samantha and told her to come home every Sunday and water the plants, although I wasn't sure will we ever come back… and if so, when.

Then I put my and Jas's clothes in the trunk and left a long and tearful letter to my mother. She was against all this but I didn't intend to consider her opinion. She hated science in general.

"Honey, come on, it's time to go" I exclaimed, knowing he's still in his room, taking his goodbye with the house and everything. Sometimes I felt bad for leaving him with no choice just because he's a child. I had become one of those mothers that move from place to place, because of their job, taking their child away from their friends and loved ones. I had become just like my mother…

But that wasn't all. Not only I was separating Jas from the only home he ever had and from all of his friends, but I was taking him on other planet. No place for a human child to be…

It was just that I didn't have the strength to leave him here to my mother. And I… secretly, in the very bottom of my heart, I hoped his father will be happy to see us – me and his son, who he didn't know about yet.

"I'm coming, just saying goodbye" he responded and then I heard stamps on the wooden floor.

Jas jumped into my arms and cuddled up. He was definitely the best thing that ever happened to me. I only hoped Jake will think the same…

TBC