I Knew It

As she touched my hand, I felt an unfamiliar wave of heat rush through my body.

I inhaled sharply.

Alice withdrew her hand, feeling embarrassed. Instinctively, I calmed her down, and watched with amusement as her brow furrowed again. Her eyes met mine and she said significantly, "You first."

Me first.

I thought carefully about what to say. I would tell her that I could change others' emotions, but what if she asked me how I had found out my gift? I would have to tell her about my old coven—and that was something I didn't plan on telling anyone about in the near future.

No, I wouldn't tell her about that.

As I thought, I watched Alice. Her short dark hair blew into her eyes a little, and she looked at me from behind her bangs curiously. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever imagined. I had felt that she found me attractive too… But I had to stop thinking about that.

All right, Jasper. Start talking.

She watched me, waiting. "I have—an effect on people," I started uneasily. "I can feel their emotions, and I can change them at will." I looked down at my crossed legs, but looked up again as I felt her surprise.

Alice smiled slightly. I was sure she was considering the things I might have felt from her a few moments ago: her delicious embarrassment was coming out like waves. "Don't be embarrassed," I blurted without thinking. She laughed and nodded. "So I suppose you can feel me, then."

It was statement, not a question. I nodded.

"The hard part," I explained, "Is keeping my own emotions in check, so they don't control everyone else." Alice nodded sympathetically, but she was surveying me. I wondered desperately what she was thinking, but I could feel her emotions—and they made me embarrassed again.

I could see Alice beginning to feel embarrassed under my influence, and she looked at me angrily.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I reigned in my feelings, and waited for her to tell me how she knew me. But how could she know me? I had never seen her before…I would have remembered.

She laughed for some reason, and began. "Hmm," she said. "How do I explain? I see—I see things. Things that haven't happened before, that are just about to happen." She seemed to feel my shock, and chuckled. "So that's why I followed you—I'm sure you've been wondering. I've been waiting you to come for a long time, Jasper."

She had been waiting for me!

"Yours definitely beats mine," I noted. "But why were you waiting for me?" I was met with the strongest feeling of embarrassment that I had ever felt. It was hard to deal with. Again I blurted out without thinking.

"Why are you so embarrassed!"

If she were still human, she would have been blushing crimson. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just wanted to meet you, Jasper. I've never seen another vampire before."

I knew in a second that she wasn't telling the truth. "You're lying," I observed.

I felt fierceness emanating from her as she replied, "And if I am?"

I laughed. "Not much I can do," I admitted. Her face relaxed into an easy smile, and I knew that for now, we would have our secrets. We would also have an advantage on one another: I could feel and change her emotions, and she could see the future.

"So, what now?" I asked gently.

Alice thought for a moment, then answered. " Would you mind if I stayed with you?" she asked, suddenly shy. "If you have a coven…" I blinked, feeling both shock and pleasure rush through my body.

She wanted to stay with me.

"I don't mind," I rasped out. I added, a little more sharply, "But I do not have a coven."

Alice smiled. "That's fine," she purred. I smiled.

Her eyes were darkening slightly, though, and I asked, "Do you need to feed?"

Alice' lips formed into a little O of horror. I felt a strong dread coming from her, overwhelming her. Reflexively, I reached out to touch her cheek. She calmed under my influence, and then leaned back from my hand with an enigmatic smile on her face. She seemed almost smug.

"I don't feed on humans," she told me confidently. "I feed on animals."

Seeing my shock, she elaborated.

"I saw in one of my visions that I—we—" She was embarrassed again. I inclined my head encouragingly, still slightly shaken.

"I saw that we found a coven that fed on animals instead of humans. They were very kind to us, and they invited us to join their family…I didn't see what our answer was."

I loved how she spoke of us as a pair: it warmed my cold insides.

Of course I felt guilty about feeding on humans, but I didn't think there was any choice. It was so hard to resist, and besides, I didn't think I would be able to survive on anything else.

"So you don't drink from humans," I repeated. "How can you survive…?"

For a moment, Alice looked doubtful.

"The taste is much less potent," she remarked. "But yes, it keeps my strength in me."

Behind my initial shock, I marveled at how easy it was to talk with her. We had only been talking for maybe an hour, but I felt like I could tell her anything. We conversed as if we had known eachother our whole lives. Well, maybe Alice had known me for that long, but I hadn't known her.

Still, I couldn't help but trust her.

Alice spoke. "Would you try it?" she inquired, slightly wary. "I know it's harder, but it's a way to survive—without killing humans."

At that moment, if she had asked me to jump off a cliff and see if I could fly, I would have done it. Naturally, I responded in positive.

"I'll try," I told her. I smiled gently, and resisted the urge to touch her again.

But suddenly Alice spoke again, taking an emotional step backwards.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized. "I hardly know you, and I'm already talking about the future. What has it been, an hour?" She was mirroring my earlier thoughts, but not with happiness: with uncertainty. Immediately I subjected her to a rush of reassurance.

"I promise you, I don't mind," I said, a little too quickly.

But she laughed, propping her chin up with her pale, flawless hand. She was so breathtakingly beautiful…

Alice interrupted my thoughts by speaking.

"I'm still sorry. I know this can't be as easy for you as it is for me, because…well, I know you. I've seen you, seen the way you smile and frown and talk, and—"

She stopped abruptly, gazing at me apologetically. I smiled as warmly as I could at her, and for a long time we were companiably silent.

Then, I spoke. Looking into her darkening gold eyes, I murmured, "We need to feed." I could just imagine what my eyes looked like right now.

She nodded in acquiescence, and stood gracefully. Her movements were lovely: like poetry in motion. I watched her a moment, then stood myself. Alice began walking in no particular direction, and I followed, watching her.

Despite her living in the woods, her light blue cotton dress was clean and unwrinkled. She walked barefoot, as did I. No shoes could survive our running.

"So," said Alice as I matched her stride easily, "What's your story?"

I winced.

"I lived with a coven a few years ago." I made it clear in every syllable that I didn't want to elaborate.

"Ah," Alice replied politely, but feeling hurt. Not liking this, I asked, "And your story, Alice?"

Alice shrugged, a perfect rise and fall of her delicate shoulders. "I…erm…woke up some time ago, in a forest. I was alone, and I had no idea how I had gotten there."

I felt a rush of sympathy for her. "You don't even remember being a human?" Alice moved to an elegant halt, turning to look at me with her hands on her slender hips.

"Should I remember?" She asked. More gently, she added, "Do you?"

I nodded, beginning to walk again. "I was a soldier," I said. "I don't remember much else."

She looked me over pointedly, laughing. "I can't picture it," she commented, smiling. I shrugged self consciously. "It was a long time ago." Alice nodded wisely, no doubt still trying to put me into a soldier's garb.

Finally we caught the scent of a deer herd to the west. They smelled slightly appetizing, and we took off after them.

Alice as a hunter was quite different from Alice as a conversationist. She was just as graceful but there was something more feline to her posture, a different sharpness to her eyes. Her growl sounded only remotely threatening to me, but the deer fled at the sound, knowing her at once as the mistress of the forest.

When I drank, the taste of my feed was bland, and much less satiating than when I fed on humans. Still, I drained five deer and at the end I was acceptably content.

"This is going to be hard," I said, half to myself, as we left Alice's territory.

"I know," Alice said. "Thank you." And she touched my hand once again, momentarily disorienting me. Once I had recovered, I smiled down at her. "Anytime."

A few more weeks passed, Alice helping me get used to animal blood, and us getting to know eachother better. I knew I was falling in love with her, but I said nothing.

Still, we were becoming more relaxed with eachother on a physical level. Even if I was too afraid to talk to her about it, sometimes I just couldn't help stroking her hand once, or touching her hair. I would love sensing the pleasure she felt at the touch, and knowing that I made her happy to some degree. We talked less, now that we knew much about eachother, but our silences were always deep and comfortable.

We weren't the type that needed to talk all the time: our unspoken words were always communicated somehow. And being with Alice, I found myself more content with existence than I had ever been.

The first time that I ever told her how much I cared about her, we were lying down in the grass on the top of a hill, looking at the stars.

A half moon gazed down on us from the middle of the sky, and the clear, bright stars winked from above peacefully. Alice and I were quiet, our entwined fingers resting on the cool turf in between us.

I was looking up at the sky and smiling when she said quietly, "Jasper?"

Our eyes locked. "Yes, Alice?" I replied.

But she seemed to change her mind, and said nothing. This time it was my turn to speak.

"Alice," I said.

"Jasper?" she said.

I thought a moment before speaking, "What else did you see, when you had visions about me?" She had never told me that, and I had always wondered.

Alice's eyes were shining. "I saw…us." I grinned. "And what exactly were we doing?" I asked playfully. She laughed. "Nothing like that, Jasper."

I stroked her hand with my finger. "What, then."

Alice thought. "I saw that first time when you touched my cheek, and other times when we would touch eachother. I saw lots of things that haven't happened yet. And then I saw the first time that you'll tell me you love me…"

She stopped talking then because I was kissing her.

"I love you," I said quietly, when we broke apart. I gave her my emotions so she would believe me. She smiled, touching my hair once and then leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I knew it."

I responded, "I know."

We lay there blissfully in eachother's arms until the sun came up.