Author's Note: The idea for this fic came from Hakei (on tumblr), who is a crazy Kirkoma shipper. She gave me all these feels for platonic Kirkoma so I had to write something. This is what happened. It ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be.
I decided to use "ojisan" instead of "uncle" because I thought it kind of flowed better, although it makes a problem for continuity in language of course... and just in case it doesn't make sense, the italicized parts are a sort of narration.
Joshua was only four years old when his parents were murdered, shot straight through the head by a raving madman.
Joshua stood there, his eyes widened in terror as the blood pooled at his feet, the tears streaming down his face. The madman turned on him then, and Joshua squeezed his eyes shut, covering them with his hands as he waited for the shot that would silence his muffled cries. It never came.
Instead, the young boy heard a ruffle and a loud scream. His eyes opened, but the man standing before him quickly blocked his view. The man crouched down and looked straight into his eyes, placing a hand softly on his shoulder.
"Close your eyes child. I'll protect you." The man wiped the tears from Joshua's cheeks with his thumb as the boy nodded, doing as he was told. The man moved away from him, Joshua standing still and whispering a song to himself as a few more tears leaked from his eyes. His song got louder when he heard the screams and the loud snap, followed by the thump of a body hitting the ground. The man returned to crouch in front of Joshua, once again touching his shoulder.
"You can open your eyes." The boy's eyes crept open slowly, widening when he caught sight of the man's large, feathery wings folded around him.
"Ojisan!" Joshua cried, throwing his arms around the man's neck. The man was startled, but he quickly wrapped his arms around the small boy, lifting him up. Joshua snuggled his head into the man's neck, his tears staining his white shirt. The man gently laid his hand on the boy's head, whispering to him.
"There's nothing to be afraid of, Joshua. I'll make the pain go away for you."
With a little bit of focused effort, that man had stolen away the traumatizing memories of his parents' death from the small boy called Joshua.
The boy's face contorted and a small whine escaped his throat, but quickly he calmed again, looking up at the man with shining eyes and a happy smile.
"Ojisan, what's your name?"
"Hanekoma." The boy's smiled widened.
"Hanekoma ojisan!" He chirped happily. Hanekoma smiled back at him, standing up, his wings still hiding the gruesome scene behind them.
"We're going to go have some fun, okay? Hold on." Joshua nodded, his small fingers clutching at Hanekoma's collar. Hanekoma leapt into the air, quickly shifting both of them into the UG, flying off towards his coffee shop on Cat Street. Joshua watched the world below him wide-eyed, holding tightly to Hanekoma's neck. He could see strange symbols and animals running around in the streets, and he watched them with confusion and curiosity.
Hanekoma landed just in front of his shop, hiding his wings and shifting back into the RG as he stepped through the door.
"Where are we ojisan?" Joshua asked him as Hanekoma set him gently on the floor.
"This is my shop. I live here too."
"Shop? What do you sell?" Joshua was a curious little boy.
"I sell coffee. I'd give you some but you're too young!" Hanekoma laughed gently.
"I wanna try some coffee!" Joshua had a very determined face, and his tiny hands were clenched into fists.
"You won't like it, kid!"
"Coffee!" Joshua repeated. Hanekoma grinned fiendishly.
"If you insist." He lifted Joshua up and set him on one of the stools at the counter, moving around to start some coffee brewing. Joshua immediately started kicking his legs back and forth impatiently until Hanekoma set down a small cup of black coffee in front of him. "Careful, it's hot!" Joshua picked up the cup with both hands and lifted it to his lips. It was only a half second before he was spitting the tiny sip out.
"Ah, gross!" He made a face and moved his tongue around, trying to make the taste go away. Hanekoma was laughing.
"I told you!" Joshua scowled at him, but it looked too cute to be intimidating. "Here, you'll like this better." He took the coffee and set down a cup of hot chocolate, topped with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Joshua took a sip of it, his smile quickly returning.
"Ah, tasty!" His short legs kicked happily, Hanekoma smiling at him as he sipped his own cup of coffee. Joshua quickly drained his cup, leaving a mustache of whipped cream on his face.
"Hold still a second, kid." Surprisingly, Joshua did sit still, and Hanekoma leaned over the counter to wipe the whipped cream off his face with a towel. He then finished off his coffee and cleaned both their cups, Joshua humming happily from his seat. Hanekoma checked his watch. "Ten o'clock, time for bed, Josh." Joshua stopped humming abruptly.
"I don't wanna go to bed!"
"You gotta sleep sometime, Josh." Joshua shook his head adamantly.
"No!" Hanekoma rubbed the back of his neck, wondering absentmindedly just what he had gotten himself into.
The man called Hanekoma had watched the scene of carnage, and being the Composer of this city in which a boy had lost his parents and was about to be killed, he couldn't turn a blind eye. He was too late to save the boy's parents, being that they did not have strong enough Imagination to play the game, but he vowed that he would save that child, and raise him until he could stand on his own.
"Do you want to watch a movie then?" Hanekoma offered. Joshua's face transformed into an eager, happy face once more.
"Yay! I like movies!" Hanekoma slipped around the counter and picked up Joshua, setting him down on the floor. He took Joshua's hand and led him into the backrooms of the café and up the stairs to his living area. They sat down on the couch together and Hanekoma put on a comedy movie, both of them laughing until finally Joshua fell asleep with his head resting on Hanekoma's arm.
Hanekoma took him and put him to sleep in the small guest room. He had always wondered why a café apartment had a guest room, but he was grateful for it now. He planted a small kiss on Joshua's forehead to say goodnight, then turned out the lights and headed to his own room. He had just fallen asleep when the door creaked open.
"O…oji…ojisan…" Joshua was sniffling and wiping at his eyes as he struggled to pronounce the word. Hanekoma didn't respond, so Joshua hobbled over to the side of the bed and tugged on the blanket. "Ojisan…" He called again. Finally, Hanekoma's eyes opened and saw the crying boy.
"What's wrong?" He said sleepily.
"I had a nightmare ojisan… I'm scared."
"There's nothing to be scared of. It was just a dream."
"I'm scared ojisan!" Joshua insisted. Hanekoma watched him for a moment.
"Alright, get up here. You can sleep with me tonight since you're so scared." Joshua somehow managed to climb up the side of the bed though it was taller than he was, crawling over to Hanekoma's other side. Hanekoma pulled the blanket over him, and Joshua snuggled in close to him, wrapping his arms around his neck and laying his head on his chest. They both quickly drifted off again, sleeping soundly through the night.
Hanekoma watched over the boy for several years, blundering in some ways, never having had a child of his own, but overall managing to help him. Sometimes Joshua would ask him questions he couldn't answer.
"Hanekoma ojisan," the seven year old began, "what happened to my parents?" Hanekoma rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, not wanting to reveal the biggest lie he had kept from the boy.
"Well, Josh, it's a tough question. They went away when you were young, so I took you in."
"Where did they go?" Hanekoma looked at the boy before him, thinking that coming clean and telling him that his parents' souls had scattered and formed new beings was a little too harsh for one so young.
"To a better place, Josh. They're happier now, I promise."
"But why didn't they take me with them?"
"It wasn't your time to go with them. Maybe you'll meet them again one day." Joshua wasn't pleased with the response, but he finally stopped questioning Hanekoma after he bribed him with ice cream.
Several more years passed, and Joshua at the age of ten had a secret to reveal.
"Ojisan, can I ask you something?" Hanekoma was puzzled by the sudden serious tone in Josh's voice.
"Sure, what's up sport?" Joshua fidgeted in front of him, obviously nervous about something.
"I… the first… the first memory I have is of you. You were standing in front of me, and you had… you had wings. Big, white, feathery wings, and they were spread around me." He paused, his eyes obviously avoiding Hanekoma's. "Was that… was that real?" Hanekoma watched him for a moment, caught once again in an awkward trap. Something about the topic was bothering Joshua, and Hanekoma realized it was probably because he thought the memory must be wrong, having never seen another person with wings.
"Yeah, Josh. That was real." Joshua looked up at him with a shocked expression.
"It was?" He seemed oddly surprised by the answer. "Then, umm… there's something else."
"What is it?"
"I've been seeing things."
"What kind of things?"
"People… and these monsters that look like animals, and the people are always talking about a Reaper's Game or something, and they're all wearing these black pins with white skulls and the monsters attack them…" Joshua was hesitant but started ranting quickly, talking about all the things he had seen and heard. Hanekoma in the meanwhile was fidgeting uncomfortably.
"What does it all mean, ojisan?"
"Well Josh, there's a few things I should tell you…" Hanekoma told Joshua all about the Reaper's Game and him being the Composer, trying to make the young boy understand that he didn't run the game to be cruel, but to help people. Joshua didn't understand, and he didn't speak to Hanekoma for several days after that.
Joshua never called Hanekoma "ojisan" after that, though the reason why was unclear. The next several years were very difficult for Joshua; kids at his school would bully him because he would talk of dead people and monsters. Hanekoma would try to comfort him but nothing seemed to be able to make him feel better, and each year it only got worse.
Hanekoma, sitting on the couch in the backroom, heard the jingle of the door bell and stood up to see who it was. He was very surprised to see Joshua there, as he was supposed to be at school for several more hours.
It was only a few seconds before Joshua fell to his knees and burst into tears. Hanekoma was shocked to see it, as Josh hadn't cried in front of him since he was little. He walked over and sat down next to him.
"Joshua, what's wrong?" He put an arm around the thirteen-year-old's shoulders, trying to comfort him. Joshua turned suddenly and buried his face into Hanekoma's shirt, breathing heavily through his tears and trying to gain the words to speak.
"I… I want… I want to die." He said through choked sobs. Hanekoma's eyes widened with fear.
"But… but why?"
"I can't take this anymore! I want to be dead like you. I want the pain to go away." Hanekoma patted his back protectively.
"Dying won't help you, Josh. Death will come for you when it comes. You can't rush these things. You shouldn't be so quick to toss away your life." Joshua looked up at him, almost angry now.
"How do you know? You've been dead already for so long! You don't know what it's like to be alive! You don't know how bad it is!" Joshua continued to sob, the tears spilling out of his eyes and dripping off his chin, as Hanekoma tried to think of something to comfort him.
"I know living's hard, but you only get one shot at it. Once you accept death, there's no going back. You have an eternity to inhabit the upper planes, but less than a hundred years to inhabit this one. I promise, you won't regret staying here."
"But I hate it here! How can you let me suffer like this?! If you won't let me die, then I'll just do it without you!" Joshua was dangerously angry; so angry that Hanekoma made a rash decision.
"Fine. I'll tell you what; keep living, and if in two years you still want to die, I promise I'll let you." Joshua stared at him, an idle sniffle accompanying his confusion.
"You… you promise?" Hanekoma took a deep breath before nodding solemnly. "Okay." Joshua said quietly, resting his forehead against Hanekoma's shoulder. Hanekoma held him until he stopped crying, worried about the promise he had just made.
Joshua learned to hide his emotions and his personality, brushing everyone off and acting rude to them to keep them away. In spite of that, he made an unlikely friend.
"Neku, this is my uncle, Hanekoma." Neku was nervous, never having met a friend's family since he had never really had friends before. He bowed too deeply and spoke to his shoes.
"It's nice to meet you, Hanekoma-san." Hanekoma laughed a little bit.
"There's no need to be so formal! I won't bite, I promise." The orange-haired kid slowly stood up again, fidgeting awkwardly. "So this is the friend you've been telling me about is it, Josh?"
"That's right." Fourteen-year-old Joshua seemed somewhat happy for the first time in ages. Neku seemed similarly happy, though he was still fidgeting nervously.
"That's good that you've made a friend. Feel free to do whatever, but just remember I'm here too!" Neku didn't understand what he meant, but Joshua caught the subtle joke and quickly punched Hanekoma in the arm.
"Hanekoma! That's weird!" He seemed a little embarrassed though, so Hanekoma wondered if he was right. The boy had never shown any romantic interest in anyone, but then again he had never shown any interest in anyone for any reason. He shrugged and retreated upstairs, leaving them the backroom.
Joshua and Neku quickly became close friends, both of them never having had a person that they could call friend before. Meanwhile, the two year mark was quickly approaching…
"Meet me at the mural at five on Friday, okay Josh?" Neku loved that mural, and he and Joshua hung out there a lot, sharing ice cream in the summer months and some of Hanekoma's delicious coffee in the winter.
"Yeah, I'll see you there!" Joshua wanted to get away from school for the day, so he set off towards home. His thoughts were heavy as he walked through the streets of Shibuya.
"I'm home!" He called as he opened the door. He never worried about there being customers because there had only been about fifty total in his entire lifetime. Hanekoma didn't respond. Joshua walked up the stairs and tossed his bag in his room. "Hanekoma?" He called. Still nothing. He shrugged and retreated to the living room, flipping on the TV. Suddenly Hanekoma appeared in the room, and Joshua jumped, dropping the remote.
"Damn it Mr. H, you know I hate it when you do that!" He said while picking the remote up off the floor. Hanekoma laughed and plopped down on the couch next to him.
"Sorry, Josh. Just doing my job and all that."
"You could still just walk through the front door." Hanekoma shrugged. They were silent for several minutes.
"Hey, Hanekoma?"
"Yeah?"
"It's almost that day." There was a strained silence.
"Yeah, it is."
"Are you going to keep your promise?"
"I said I would. Do you still want to go through with it?"
"Yes." Hanekoma's face was very serious, and he was silently cursing himself for making that promise.
"But what about Neku? He'll be devastated if you leave him behind." Joshua frowned.
"He can find a new friend. This world is painful and boring, and I can't tolerate it any longer. I must move on."
"If that's what you want Josh." He whispered. "I'll erase Neku's memories of you, so that he can move on." Joshua looked at him sadly.
"Would you erase mine too?" Hanekoma was surprised by that response.
"Why?"
"If neither of us remembers, it's like it never happened, right? I can die without the guilt and he can move on with his life without the scars."
"I don't know, Josh…"
"Please Hanekoma? It would make this affair easier on both of us." Hanekoma was quiet for a moment.
"Fine, Joshua. I'll erase yours too on that day." Joshua smiled.
"Thank you." Joshua leaned over and planted a kiss on Hanekoma's cheek, then stood up and returned to his bedroom.
With the plans set in place, all that was left was for Joshua to decide how he wanted to ascend to the UG. The day came faster than either of them were actually prepared for, and the fourteen-year-old quietly said goodbye to the world he had been trapped in since birth.
"Hanekoma? I'm home from school." He walked into the café nervously. The door had been locked, which was unusual, even though the café was closed most of the time.
"I'm in the backroom!" He heard Hanekoma calling him and he walked into the backroom. Hanekoma was fidgeting on the couch.
"Today's the day." Joshua said simply. Hanekoma nodded, obviously uncomfortable. Joshua set his bag down and sat next to Hanekoma.
"So, you still want to do this?" Joshua nodded solemnly. "Any particular way you want to go?" Joshua considered for a moment, though he'd decided a long time ago.
"I think a shot in the head would be the best." He said finally. Hanekoma sighed.
"Leave it to you to pick something bloody." Hanekoma had long since resigned himself to letting this happen, since he knew nothing he could say or do would prevent Joshua from killing himself. He'd rather be there to help him than to let him die alone. "Very well. I have a gun upstairs." Hanekoma tried not to ruminate on the irony of Joshua's choice as he walked up the stairs, considering that that was the very fate he had saved the boy from so many years ago.
When he reached his bedroom, he pulled the gun from the hidden drawer in his dresser, slowly loading the bullets. Joshua eyed him awkwardly. He was nervous even though he was completely sure of what he wanted.
"That's an odd looking gun." Joshua remarked.
"It's the type the reapers use. There's really no gun in the RG that compares." Finished loading it, he looked at Joshua. "Would you like to, or shall I?" The question made Joshua pause.
"I'd like to do it."
"Alright. But before you do, I have some things to tell you." Joshua nodded. "You will still have to play the Reaper's Game. It's a requirement for anyone wishing to permanently inhabit the UG. I have a player pin for you here." Hanekoma showed him the pin. "However, if you win your week and make it to the end, I have a final challenge for you. You must fight me for the throne of Composer." Joshua's eyes widened.
"But why? I don't want to fight you!" Hanekoma shook his head.
"You don't have a choice. I want you to become the new Composer, and I will Ascend to the Higher Plane."
"But you can't leave me!"
"I won't leave you. I'll become an Angel, but I can still stick around here. I'll be there to help you. I promise."
"Okay." Joshua whispered, casting his eyes down.
"I'm going to erase your memories of Neku now." Hanekoma placed his hand on the boy's head. It was just a moment and the memories were gone, faded away into oblivion. Hanekoma handed the gun to him, then pulled his head forward and planted a kiss on his right temple.
"It'll be okay. I know you can survive." Joshua nodded, slowly lifting the gun to the side of his head. He took one last look at Hanekoma, tears welling in his eyes before they drifted shut. He curls his finger around the trigger, and the bang is the last sound Joshua's body ever hears.
Hanekoma did as he promised, except he wasn't able to completely remove Joshua's memory from Neku. The boy had already been traumatized, finding out that his best friend was killed in an "accident" on the way to meet him. He couldn't remove the memory because it had already changed the boy too much. He removed what he could, but he still held on to the idea of his friend, though he couldn't remember what he looked like or what his name was.
Joshua played through the Reaper's Game and fought against Hanekoma as he was told he must do, and he came out victorious. Hanekoma Ascended and Joshua became the new Composer of Shibuya at the age of just fourteen. But something was fundamentally wrong with him. He quickly tired of the job and sought to destroy the city. And then the boy, Neku, crossed paths with him once more.
The game over, the secrets revealed, everything done, Neku's problems were fixed and Joshua was left with just Hanekoma again, his mentor and friend. Hanekoma had plotted his death during the game, but only to protect Shibuya, and Joshua didn't blame him for it.
"You know Hanekoma, there's something you never told me." They sat atop 104, watching Joshua's proxy and his friends rejoicing below.
"What's that?"
"Now that I've joined you here, I know much more about souls and how they are made up."
"Yes."
"You never really told me what happened to my parents." Hanekoma was quiet for a long while.
"Your parents were murdered when you were very young. That earliest memory you have is of that night. I covered you with my wings to protect you and to keep you from seeing the carnage of your parents' corpses and of the madman that I killed to save you. I took your memories so that you could try to live a normal life."
"Well, you must not have done a very good job." Hanekoma eyed him suspiciously.
"Why's that?"
"I had nightmares about it for a long time, but I couldn't remember where they came from."
"Well, it doesn't always work perfectly." Hanekoma said, gazing at the boy in the park below them. They sat in silence for awhile. Suddenly, Joshua laid his head on Hanekoma's shoulder.
"I miss this. You used to carry me everywhere when I was little. I used to crawl into the bed with you because the nightmares scared me." Hanekoma laughed.
"Yeah, I remember those days. But that's alright. You can lay your head there for awhile if it makes you feel better. You've been through a lot this month just like he has." Hanekoma wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Joshua smiled and closed his eyes, resting and humming a tune as the world turned around him, somehow seeming like a much better place than it once had been.
Closing author's notes: Just for the sake of sharing the idea, I wanted to say that Joshua developed his fascination with guns because he subconsciously remembered his parents being murdered, and that the gun he used to shoot himself was the same one he used to shoot Neku both times. Also, the song he sings in the beginning and hums the other two times is Amnesia. I just like the idea of it being that song because that's the song that plays mostly in the scene when Joshua reveals himself as Composer and the duel happens, making it a sort of death song. He remembers the tune but forgets the words after Hanekoma wipes his memory.