(Who knows) you can't be replaced
6x07 reaction fic: the one where Kurt did notice that something was up
note: don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that Kurt did not notice.. it's just the fact that he didn't do anything that bugged me so i rewrote it uwu
also: my first published fic, please be gentle
(cover image credit goes to kurtdevon on tumblr)
Their whole way to the parking lot Rachel, Sam and Walter were chatting about something. Probably about what they were going to order at the restaurant or it was just Rachel telling them about some new lesson plans she had come up with. Kurt though couldn't concentrate on engaging in the conversation. His thoughts were still with Blaine. Something was wrong.
He could still picture that look in Blaine's eyes and the uneasiness he carried during that whole conversation. It could have been because Blaine had just met Walter for the first time and if that was the case then Kurt wouldn't judge him. Given how he had reacted when he found out about Blaine and Karofsky dating, Blaine actually had managed to have himself under much more control.
But Kurt couldn't interpret too much into it, maybe the reason for Blaine's behavior didn't even lie with him and Walter. He said he had wanted to talk to Rachel, right? But then again, why would he forget what he'd come for. He had practically stormed into the choir room a few seconds ago. If it was so urgent, then why would he forget it so easily? Or did he just not want to interrupt and hold them all back from enjoying their date night? Given how well mannered and charming Blaine always was, it was definitely a possibilty.
But no, it still didn't make enough sense for Kurt to come to peace with it in his mind. The puzzle pieces just didn't fit. Something was definitely up and Kurt knew that he would only be able to fully relax during the date if he found out what it was.
So, once they all arrived at Walter's car, Kurt quickly came up with an excuse to go back inside.
''I just realized I must have left my phone in the choir room. I can't seem to find it anywhere,'' he mumbled with the most suprised sounding voice he could manage, patting the pockets of his pants as if he was searching for it.
Lies. He put it in the inside pockets of his jacket seconds before Blaine came in, could even feel it softly pressing against his chest when he moved.
''Oh, no worries. You go get it, we'll wait here. Or, do you want me to go with you?'' Walter asked, raising his eyebrows a little.
''No, no. I'll manage,'' Kurt replied quickly, flashing him a small smile. ''I'm sorry, guys. I'll try to be quick.''
And with that, he turned on his heel and almost ran back inside. Partly to make it look like he really did need to get his phone and return back to them and partly because he just realized how stupid he has been. Blaine probably wasn't even there anymore. Why would he hang around the choir room much longer when they already said their goodbyes and he had a boyfriend waiting for him at home?
But that arising thought quickly went away as he walked through the halls and heard the echo of a loud sob. A sob he could identify on the fly. Probably because the sound broke his heart
whenever he would hear it.
Taking some last few steps, Kurt was met with an even more heartbreaking sight when he went through the door into the choir room.
There sat Blaine on one of the many red stools, face hid in his hands. A posture that, if he would have still had any doubts, showed that he was indeed crying.
Kurt's mind went blank, all he could focus on being the dolorous fact of Blaine suffering in whichever way, as he tried to come up with something to say.
But he didn't need to, since Blaine obviously must have heard him coming in when he looked up, his cheeks all wet from the tears and a horrified look on his face as if he had just been caught doing something terrible. As if Kurt had never seen him cry before.
''You're still here,'' Kurt noted, his voice sounding a little breathless.
He almost smiled a little bit at that. In the end, Blaine would always be there. And Kurt would make sure to come to him. To meet his path. Sooner or later.
''Yeah,'' Blaine replied, his voice trembling which made him subtly clear his throat and already stand up. ''I-I'm sorry, I just needed to sit down for a while. I'll go n-''
''Blaine,'' Kurt quickly cut him off and kept him from walking away from him by taking his hand in his. ''What's wrong?''
Blaine turned around at the sudden contact, meeting Kurt's gaze and seeming to search for something in his eyes before shaking his head a little too violently.
''Nothing. I..,'' he started to say, but cut off himself this time, looking down at the floor. ''Why'd you come back? You have a date to go to. They're probably waiting.''
''The wait won't kill them,'' Kurt stated sharply. He knew that it was kind of mean for him to say it like that, could even picture them all sitting in the car, wondering what took him so long. And he did feel bad. But something deep inside him told him that Blaine was more important right now, and he needed him to know that as well. That he would always come first in his life.
''C'mere,'' he told him softly and led him back to the chair he previously sat on, making him sit down again before sitting down on the one next to it, never letting go of his hand in the process.
''But-''
''Stop it. They're fine,'' Kurt stated once again, getting that some part of Blaine really did care about his date and about them all having to wait because of him. But Kurt knew better. He just tried to distract, wanting to stay strong and not seem too weak for as long as he could until he just wouldn't be able to hold it all in anymore and it would burst out of him. And that moment seemed to have arrived as he uncontrollably started crying again during Kurt's next words.
''But you're not. What's going on?''
Even though the tears shamelessly streamed over Blaine's face, he never broke the eye contact he had with Kurt now, didn't even seem like he would want to. And Kurt gave his hand an encouraging squeeze to go on and let it out, whatever he had and needed to say.
''Dave and I, we broke up.''
''Oh,'' Kurt simply breathed out, not knowing how else to react to the news for the moment.
Somehow it made him happy. Blaine was free again, didn't belong to someone else which had caused Kurt the most severe heartache for the past few weeks. And the person Blaine has been with needing to be Karofsky, of all people, added even more salt into the wound.
Then, he felt selfish. Blaine was crying. Blaine was hurting. And yet, there he sat being glad that it happened. It wasn't a fair move of him. And Blaine seemed to have been pretty happy with Dave, what changed?
''I'm so sorry. What happened?'' he said the question nagging on his mind out loud.
Blaine gently wiped at his eyes with his free hand and seemed to think about a way to explain before Kurt could see him swallowing thickly.
''He set me free,'' he finally answered his question, nodding to himself a little. ''I-I guess, you could put it like that.''
Kurt felt himself frown at that, not fully understanding. But he still heard that Blaine's voice was trembling badly and understood that whatever he was trying to tell him was major and not something you could simply lay all out on the line just like that.
Of course Kurt had an idea of what it could all mean, one that gave him a glimmer of hope, but he still didn't want to give his hopes up too much. He needed Blaine to speak it out, needed to know if they still had a chance now that Blaine was single.
''What does that mean?''
''It means that I love you.''
Knowing Blaine he could lay it all out on the line like that and he did. After all he wasn't afraid of intimacy.
''And I never stopped,'' Blaine continued, repeating Dave's words because they were true. So true. He could not have put it in a better way without starting to uncontrollably sob again.
Kurt felt his breath hitch. Once Blaine had kissed him after that party in Rachel's basement he started to have this hope inside of him again after he had almost lost it. And with Blaine's words just now this hope only started to grow stronger.
''I love you, too,'' Kurt said it back and saw a sugary smile spread out on his lips, one he usually would see whenever he said something silly or romantic.
''And you know what I came back here for,'' he added, reminding him of that he had wanted to get him back for weeks now. And in that moment, with Blaine looking up at him with eyes filled with so much love, all he wanted was to just lean in and kiss those stupid tears off of his face. Because there was no need for him to cry. Not when they could be happy again. Together.
''I know. But now you have Walter,'' Blaine reminded Kurt of his date again just as he was about to lean in. ''And I think I kind of screwed up my chance of getting back together with you.''
''You know, Walter and I, we aren't actually-''
''It's okay. You don't owe me an explanation,'' Blaine told him. ''But uh, I'm trying to explain,'' he went on, getting back to his nervous self as he let out a tiny breathless laugh, trying to lighten the mood. ''Except I don't know how. Because everything in my head is a mess right now. All I know is that ever since you came back here, I felt myself automatically being drawn back to you. And then after that kiss in the elevator, I realized that as much as our break-up hurt me, as much as I tried to get over you, I so wasn't.''
Kurt felt as if his heart was going to jump out of his chest as he listened to Blaine's words. He interlaced their fingers, meaning to show him that their kiss in the elevator meant something to him as well. Kissing Blaine would always mean something to him. He felt Blaine hold onto him for dear life while his palm was still a little wet from how he had cried when Kurt found him here, but he couldn't bring himself to care. All he could focus and stare at were Blaine's lips, clinging onto every word, every sentence that escaped from them just now and still wanting to kiss them so badly.
''And.. And I tried to ignore my feelings but eventually it all boiled over and I couldn't hide them anymore. So, I kissed you that night. After the party. Which I hope you're not mad at me for.''
Kurt almost let out a giggle at how sweetly Blaine was trying to justify himself and his feelings, as if it was necessary. But instead he just surged forward, not getting how Blaine could even think he would be sad about this or mad at him in any way.
''I'm not,'' he assured him, his lips inches away from Blaine's when he whispered again. ''God, I'm not.''
Once Kurt closed the distance between them he felt Blaine squeezing his tigh with his free hand and kissing back just as passionately and desperately, only now being able to really respond to that kiss a few nights ago.
Not only did kissing Blaine feel as amazing as ever, Kurt also figured this was what the other man needed. A sign from him that even though he was starting to try date other men, he was still set on his original goal to fight for Blaine and get him back.
Their kiss became much more heated after only a few seconds, given how long they'd gone without really touching each other. Their lips were moving against each other and Kurt was certain that Blaine was only a few more seconds away from climbing into his lap when a ringing phone made them break apart, which Kurt identified as his own and picked up after a soft sigh.
''Yeah hm, I found it. Something important came up. I'll be out in a minute.''
''Go,'' Blaine told him as soon as he put his phone away again. But there was no more sadness in his voice, in fact a slight smile spread out on his lips. Kurt wasn't sure if it was because of the aftermath of their shared kiss or because he was so amused by the excuse Kurt used to get here.
''I get that they want you to be around. Being in the presence of Kurt Hummel is wonderful,'' Blaine continued, sing-songing the last word.
Kurt couldn't help but to laugh out loud at that, a warm but yet ringing laughter filling the room. He hadn't laughed like that in weeks. It was that way only Blaine could make him feel.
He nodded softly, but looked at him once more before actually wanting to go back. ''What about us? I mean what..''
''..are we?'' Blaine continued the sentence for him, pursing his lips a little and moving to rest his arm over the back of the chair. ''Well, I probably babbled way too much again, so I'm sorry if I confused you, but long story short, I want to be with you. And never be without you again. That's all I was trying to say,'' he made it clear once more, being a little out of breath at the end of it since he gathered all his courage to tell Kurt.
Kurt looked down at their entwined hands and nodded slightly, a grin spreading out on his lips. ''I know, I got that. And I want it, too.''
Kurt's words had the anticipated effect and he got the same stupid looking grin from Blaine in return.
''But we definitely have to talk about everything first. A-About us. Can you come over tonight? We probably won't be out for long, so how about ten?''
Blaine looked up at him with a rather surprised look on his face. ''Your date won't come inside afterwards?''
Kurt softly shook his head. ''No. No, he always just drops me off in front of the porch. I haven't exactly come around yet to tell my Dad about how the guy I've been going out with is around his age. Besides, when it comes to picking potential future son-in-law's he has already locked his favorite in his heart a long time ago.''
If the deliriously happy looking smile on Blaine's face he got in response was any indication, Kurt knew that he must have not only missed Kurt, but Burt and Carol as well. They were finally back to being them again. A family. Whole. And Kurt would make sure that it would stay like that this time, no more screw up's. Starting with telling Walter that they will never be more than friends tonight.
''Ten sounds just fine.''