AN: Thanks to JE_Glass/ not-so-secret-nerd for letting me borrow the idea. :)
Holtzmann was standing against the wall of the lab, taking a breather. She stretched, feeling tired. She really needed to get some sleep, or at least, some real quiet time and a drink. She was surprised when Abby stuck her head in the door. Her hair was down around her shoulders, and it was wet. Holtz grinned.
"That time again, huh?"
"It is getting a little too long." Abby pulled gently on her hair. "And you know how I get split ends."
"I'll be up in a minute snookums," said Holtzmann, blowing Abby a kiss. The brunette rolled her eyes and headed back up the stairs. Holtz flipped off the lights and turned off a couple of machines for the night. She headed up the stairwell herself and came into the space they all four shared in the firehouse. Abby was already setting down one of the old blue tarps down on the floor that they used to throw over their equipment at Higgins just in case the roof started leaking again. It always dripped down into the basement and made for a mess with all the electronics in the space. Not to mention the jury-rigging Holtz had done with the electricity could give a jolt if you leaned against the wall a little too hard. Holtz pulled over one of their kitchen chairs on the tarp, and patted the seat, gesturing for Abby to sit. She ran her fingers through Abby's locks after she did so.
"Ah, Mademoiselle Yates. Mon petite chou à la crème, how I've missed your hair!"
"I knew you were going to turn this into a show," scoffed Abby, shaking her head. "I just need a haircut, not a three ring circus." Holtzmann smirked.
"No elephants I promise. And one moment, mon chéri. I must get my tools," said Holtz in an extremely fake French accent, gesturing wildly.
"I'm almost scared to ask why there is a tarp on the floor with Abby on it and Holtz is going to get tools," said Patty, coming into the space between the living room and kitchen that Abby had set down the tarp. She had been downstairs, working on one of their monthly reports for the mayor's office. Patty always demanded to fact check them before they were sent out.
"Interrogation," said Holtz, lazily waving her hand as she went to the closet right next to the door to the bathroom. "Abby knows something about my mysterious past and I intend to find out what."
"Ignore her," said Abby. "She gets excited when when she gets to play with my hair. Holtz has always been great at cutting it."
Patty was really surprised. "You let Holtzmann cut your hair ?"
Abby shrugged. "Saves me from spending 30 dollars on a haircut."
"Granted I'll give you that," said Patty. "But Holtzy ?"
"If you can stand a really bad French accent, you can stay and watch," said Abby. "She's actually pretty good."
"This I've got to see," said Patty. She went to the kitchen and made a cup of tea while Holtz located her kit. She held it up in triumph over her head and grabbed one of the stools from the built in breakfast bar in the kitchen and opened it on top. Patty sat down in a chair in the living room and turned it to where she could watch the process. Holtz started putting a red hairdressers cape that had Wonder Woman's outline on it, even down to the golden lasso at her side over Abby's pajamas.
"Now m'lady, I need for you to hold very still," said Holtz. She took out a brush.
"Just get on it with it. I know my hair tangles easy," said Abby. Holtz plucked Abby's glasses off her face and attached them to her own shirt collar before brushing out Abby's hair. Patty dunked the tea bag in her mug.
"This is actually kind of relaxing to watch," commented Patty after a minute or two.
"What is kind of relaxing?" said Erin as she came into view from the stairs. She was sipping on a milkshake and carrying a takeout bag.
"Watching Holtzy get ready to cut Abby's hair," said Patty.
"Wait..." said Erin. She looked past Patty to Abby. "Holtz cuts your hair? "
"I'm assuming that's Erin?" said Abby, squinting.
"That would be her," said Holtz, brushing through the back part of Abby's locks. "As if you could miss her dulcet tones. I'm glad you used the leave in conditioner."
"Because I know you like how it lays down better that way," said Abby. "And yes, Erin. She has for some time now." Erin took a sip of her vanilla milkshake and came over to Patty's side, looking interested in the proceedings.
"Welcome to the magnifique salon de coiffure de Holtzmann," said Holtz, gesturing to the room. She took a bow. "Madame Holtzmann, at your service." Both Patty and Erin snorted under their breath. Holtzmann stuck her tongue out at them.
"Is she always like this?" asked Erin to Abby.
"Only when she's breathing," Abby responded. Erin sat down in a chair next to Patty, pulling out her fries and snacking. She offered some to Patty, who shook her head. They both watched as Holtz made a show of getting out her comb and scissors after looking satisfied that Abby's hair was as straight as it was going to get. Erin thought for a moment that Abby looked like the girl from The Ring before Holtz combed it back and parted it.
"It has gotten long," said Erin. Abby nodded, earning her a tap on her shoulder from Holtz.
"Be still," she chided.
"Sorry Madame Holtzmann," said Abby, being sarcastic and doing her best to lay on her Midwest accent rather thick. Holtz didn't look impressed as she snipped at the back of Abby's hair.
"I am cutting your hair for free you know."
"Like you could get anyone to pay for a haircut," Abby said amused.
Holtzmann held up her scissors, opening and closing them. "You forget that I ran a drunk salon in college."
"Wait... a drunk salon?" asked Erin.
"We would all get drunk and cut other students hair," said Holtz. "You'd be surprised how many lesbians you can meet that way." She nudged Abby's shoulder. "Case in point. This one just showed up in my lab and requested a cut."
"She took two classes at a nearby technical college to her undergrad so she could learn to do her own hair," said Abby as she leaned her head down at Holtz's request. "And she invited the other students in the program over to the college and well... you get the picture. Beer, college students, scissors..."
"It was awesome," grinned Holtz.
"Please tell me no one died," said Patty, shaking her head.
"No one even got injured!" exclaimed Holtzmann. "Which was a pity, really. But there was a lot of... interesting looks the next day."
"Drunk haircuts," said Patty, shaking her head. "Now I've heard everything." She looked at Erin, who shrugged over her fries. They both watched silently as Holtz continued cutting the back of Abby's hair. It was a bit surprising. Even with Holtz's usual wild eccentricities, she seemed to be calm and collected while doing it. It was sort of like watching engineer Holtz work when she was deep in thought. She moved through Abby's hair carefully, making sure everything was even as she cut around the sides, continually combing out the dark strands. The only thing that would be heard in the space for a few minutes was the snip-snip sound of the scissors.
"Is cutting hair hard?" asked Erin.
"Not really. And Abby's hair is easy," said Holtzmann, looking up to the others. "All she ever wants is a straightforward cut. I keep trying to convince her to color up the greys in the name of science so I could make my own hair dye, but..."
"Holtzmann," said Erin. "Don't you think we've had enough of hair dye?"
"Yeah, considering it took three boxes to get Erin back to normal and that was a mess," agreed Patty. "I think you forget that one was stubborn and didn't want to try."
"I already had roots coming in dark," stated Abby. "It wasn't really worth trying to color it."
"Mademoiselle, you would look lovely in a shade of purple," cooed Holtz in Abby's ear. "Burgundy, like a fine wine."
"I would rather drink it than have it on my head," said Abby, side-eyeing Holtzmann.
"Shall I send for a charcuterie board or a cheese plate?" smirked Holtz.
"I think Erin's already turned the meat into her dinner," Abby said, looking amused at her best friend.
"I was hungry after lecturing," muttered Erin over her cheeseburger. "But the wine sounds lovely."
"I think we're going to have to make Holtzy treat us to a French dinner for her torturing us with her bad accent," grinned Patty, looking at Erin, who chuckled.
"I think not," said Holtz, measuring the different pieces of the front of Abby's hair to make sure they were even. "My accent is awesome."
"Might be a good thing," said Erin. "Holtz's idea of a French dinner would probably be French bread and French fries."
"Always gluten full," grinned Holtzmann, patting her stomach. She combed out Abby's hair one more time before running her hands through it.
"And you're done!" said Holtz. "It is always a pleasure to serve you m'lady."
"Well, I definitely feel lighter," said Abby as Holtzmann took out a mirror from her kit and let her see her hair. "Thanks Holtz." She teasingly blew Holtz a kiss, who held it to her heart jokingly and cradled it close.
"I never get enough of your love, babe," sighed Holtzmann. "Next?" said Holtz, looking at their two friends sitting in the living room and gesturing with her comb.
"Oh no," said Patty, gesturing to her hair. "You are not going anywhere near my head, free or not."
"Dinner," Erin said with a shrug, holding up her burger. "Sorry Holtz." The blonde deflated.
"I guess you are the only one to partake of my craft mon p âtisserie préféré ," said Holtzmann to Abby, who was standing and taking off the hairdressers cape and dusting off some loose strands of hair from her clothes.
"Maybe another day," said Abby. "I'll help you Kool-Aid dye Erin's hair orange while she's sleeping." They both grinned at Erin squealing through the bite of her burger. Patty was trying not to snicker behind her hand while Holtz put Abby's glasses back on her face.
AN2: Holtz's French -
Mon petite chou à la crème - My little cream puff
Mon chéri - My darling
Magnifique salon de coiffure de Holtzmann - Holtzmann's Magnificent Hair Salon
Charcuterie board - Essentially a meat sampling board, accompanied with bread and a side item. Modern ones take the side items even further, combining fresh and pickled vegetables, olives, cheeses, nuts, dips, etc.
Mon pâtisserie préféré - My favorite pastry
Mademoiselle/Madame - A running joke between Abby and Holtz. Mademoiselle is meant for a young woman, Madame for an older woman. Fanon always has Holtz being younger than everyone, so I ran with it. :)