N-A-Y-L-O-R

Jac Naylor unlocked her car, opened the door and climbed inside. Behind her, Holby Hospital loomed in the ghostly moonlight impressive and imposing. But Jac paid it no attention. She had other things on her mind tonight. She turned the key in the ignition and waited as the engine choked and spluttered to life. It seemed almost to be wheezing as though it had caught some ghastly disease that only a mechanic could hope to cure. Jac Naylor had no time for mechanics tonight. Before Jac could drive out of the hospital car park, she checked to make sure her phone was connected to the hands free. Jac bit her lips anxiously. She almost never did that. But these weren't normal times.

Jac guided her car on to the motorway and headed away from Holby. Where was she going? Sitting behind the wheel, Jac's expression was steely, fixed and determined. Yet if you stared closer at her eyes you'd have seen the tiniest hint of uncertainty. It wasn't worth mentioning that to Jac Naylor or she'd have had you up to your eyeballs in the most menial, unrewarding task she could possibly dream up. Nevertheless, the uncertainty was there and it was growing. Her phone began to ring.

'Hello Jac, it's Sacha,' Sacha's gentle, soothing voice washed over her. 'Where are you? Everyone's looking for you.'

'Sacha, tell them to stop. I'm fine. Everything is just dandy,' Jac replied a little too curtly than she had intended.

'Hang on,' there was a brief pause before Sacha continued, 'are you driving?'

'I've just got something I need to do. I'll be back tomorrow.'

'What about the operation? We need you tonight.' Sacha sounded almost pleading.

'I'm sorry,' Jac said firmly. 'I can't. Frieda will have to manage without me.'

'What's wrong Jac,' Sacha pressed. 'I know you. Something's up, isn't it?'

'Sacha everything is fine. Look I've got to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow.' Jac didn't wait for Sacha to answer before she hung up. She moved her car into the adjacent lane and put her foot down. Soon the familiar gaze of Holby had fallen far into the distance and Jac's car kept on driving. She glanced up at a large road sign as she drove past. 100 miles to London.

Something, suddenly, caught Jac's eye. A familiar silhouette on the back seat of her car. She glared in the overhead mirror.

'I am going to do this,' Jac told the silhouette. It didn't answer because, of course, Paula was dead and, as far as Jac knew, she was sure her mother wasn't going to be the one to learn how to communicate with the living from beyond her grave. Jac shuddered. Now there was a terrifying thought. Paula communicating. She forced herself a grim smile. As if. Paula would probably have taken a ghostly holiday to the Bahamas than bother with her little Jackie. After all, why should a simple thing like death change a leopard's spots? Jac's phone rang again. She couldn't help taking another quick look in the mirror but the silhouette had faded away. And her phone was still ringing.

'Jac, you're needed,' said Serena and Jac could almost picture the determined expression Serena was undoubtedly wearing. 'You're doing that operation.'

'Serena,' Jac searched around for the right words. When they didn't come she simply settled on, 'I can't.' It wasn't very impressive.

'I beg your pardon?' Serena's voice was impassive. It had been a long day and she'd already singlehandedly solved several management disputes, a funding crisis and now she had a senior clinical lead doing a bunk. Quite frankly, Serena was in no mood for petty game-playing. 'You can't? What the bloody hell does that mean?'

'I mean I can't,' replied Jac firmer. 'And I can't explain either. It's just something I have to do.'

'What are we supposed to do then, dance the Macarena until you return?' Jac began to answer but babysitter flashed up on the monitor.

'Serena, I've got another call waiting.' Jac hung up. She answered the other call. 'Yes, what is it?'

'It's Katya,' said Katya unhelpfully. There was apprehension in her voice almost hidden by her thick Romanian accent.

'Yes, I know. What do you want? How's Emma?'

'Emma's fine. She's sleeping,' Katya paused unsure how to proceed. 'It's just…'

'Spit it out for god's sake,' replied Jac. Dealing with stupid, young babysitters was not a priority tonight.

'It's just I was wondering when you might be home.'

'I'm not coming home tonight.'

'But Mrs Naylor you promised!'

'It's Ms Naylor,' Jac said automatically before she could catch herself.

'I told Ivana I'd go out with her tonight,' said Katya and Jac caught the hint of pleading that now penetrated each syllable. It did not move her. 'I'm sorry Mrs Naylor I've got to go.'

'Go? You can't go!' Jac was starting to panic. She couldn't leave her six-year-old daughter alone in the house. 'Katya!'

'You made me a promise,' Katya said. 'You promised you'd be home.'

'Look I'll pay you double if you stay,' said Jac wildly. 'Triple.'

'It's not about the money,' Katya's voice trembled, 'I have a life.'

'Fine!' Jac snapped. 'Go have your precious life and I'll just try to find another babysitter for my daughter! But as long as you're having fun that's all right then.' Katya hung up. Jac swore under her breath. There was only one thing for it.

'This is Adrian Fletcher's phone. I'm not around at the moment but leave us a message and I'll get back to you.'

'Dammit!' Jac ended the call. Her hands on the wheel, Jac was suddenly unsure. She considered turning the car around and heading back to Holby, back to home and Emma. But she couldn't. Not now she'd come so far. And just like that another idea had struck her.

'Jonny, I need you to do me a favour,' Jac opened the conversation before Jonny Maconie could even get a hello in. 'Are you in Holby?'

'I'm in Scotland,' said Jonny sensing his moment had come. 'What's the favour, Jac?'

'It doesn't matter,' Jac sighed. 'I'll try someone else.'

'Jac,' Jonny sounded concerned. 'Is it about Emma?' Jac didn't answer. She hung up and for the next ten miles she drove on in peace and quiet.

Fletch's name flashed up on the monitor.

'Jac?'

'Fletch there you are,' Jac said and she almost felt euphoric. It washed quickly over.

'Sorry I missed your call earlier… I was in the shower. You sounded a bit stressed is there anything I can do for you?'

'It's fine, Fletch,' said Jac. She swallowed the lump in her throat. 'Could you just do me a massive favour?'

'Anything my lady,' replied Fletch. He was probably grinning that cheeky grin of his.

'Listen, I'm on my way to London and my babysitter has just flaked out on me. Could you just go and check on Emma? Bring her over to yours?'

'Why are you going to London?'

'It doesn't matter. Please, Fletch, could you just do this one thing for me?'

'What do I get in return?' Jac could hear the teasing in his voice and she knew he was playing her.

'I'll promise not to humiliate you in front of juniors for a week.'

'Deal,' replied Fletch. 'I'll go get the little one.'

'Thank you,' said Jac. She was about to hang up when something important occurred to her. 'Fletch?'

'Still here.'

'Don't let Emma eat anything with dairy products in. I think she might be lactose intolerant or something. You get the picture.'

'Loud and clear captain,' said Fletch. 'No dairy products. She'll be fine. I'll check back in with you later.'

Jac was now only 60 miles from London and a sense of unease was washing over her. She hadn't paid it much attention so far but it had been weighing on her mind ever since that phone call in her office. It had come out of the blue and she never expected to hear his voice again. And she had come running. She had simply dropped everything and come running. But what if it was serious? Why would he turn to her? He was married after all. Happily, Jac assumed. You couldn't be sure with marriages. His first hadn't exactly been a resounding success but Jac put that down more to his choice of wife than anything else in particular. What if his new wife was there with him tonight? Jennifer or Jenny or whatever she was called. Jac was shaken out of her thoughts by the sound of her phone ringing yet again.

'Are you nearly here?' Joseph's voice cracked as he spoke. Jac knew he'd been crying.

'I'm on my way,' said Jac. She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice. 'I'm about 60 miles away from the hospital.'

'It's getting worse,' said Joseph helplessly. 'Both of them,' he added.

'I'll be there soon,' Jac said. 'Just promise me you won't do anything stupid.' There was no answer. 'Joseph!'

'Just hurry,' said Joseph and Jac heard the click as he hung up.

Another ten miles passed in silence. Jac could see the traffic beginning to build up ahead of her as they all tried to reach London. She hoped beyond hope there wouldn't be a jam.

'Jac, Serena's on the warpath,' Sacha's voice wafted over her. 'You need to get here now.'

'Sacha, I can't. You've got to find a way to placate her.'

'Jac, I'm not going to lie for you.'

'I'm not asking you to lie.' Jac bit her lips. 'Please, Sacha.' She paused and waited for the inevitable response. The argument she knew was coming. But it did not come. 'How's Frieda? Is she doing the operation?'

'Jac,' Sacha began, 'no one's doing the operation. Serena's postponed it.'

'What?' Jac said incredulously. 'That's ridiculous! Tell Serena, Frieda can do the operation.'

'No, she can't.'

'Why not?'

'Because she's gone home, Jac!'

'Then get her back in!' There was another pause in the conversation.

'You need to get back here,' sighed Sacha.

'I can't,' said Jac. 'There's something I have to do.'

'What, Jac? What is it? Why won't you just tell me?'

'I can't. Not yet. I'll explain more when I can I promise but please just trust me.'

'Jac,' Sacha gulped and Jac knew he was choosing his words carefully. That always irritated her. Choosing your words carefully was almost always followed by the delivery of bad news. 'If you don't get back here tonight you might not have a job tomorrow.'

'She can't do that.'

'She's the CEO,' Sacha pressed. 'You walked out of your shift without a word to anyone. I'm afraid she can.'

Jac drove on in silence again. Sacha's call had unnerved her. Not that Jac Naylor would ever admit to being unnerved. She had to put it from her mind. Joseph needed her. Nothing else mattered. Her work, her life, everything else could be put off until tomorrow.

'What are you laughing at?' Jac asked the silhouette. 'I'm not abandoning anyone. Not like you did.' Jac thought of Jasmine. A pang of guilt crossed her heart. What was the use in dwelling? And the silhouette still seemed to be laughing at her. She could see it in the corner of her eye. That awful rasping, gasping laugh. 'Leave me alone.' It did. Because it was never really there.

'I have to suspend you,' said Serena over the phone. 'I'm sorry Jac but you've really left me no alternative.' Jac didn't answer. There was nothing to say. Not right now. She would sort everything out tomorrow.

'Emma's sleeping again,' Fletch whispered. Jac could barely hear what he was saying. 'She asked when you were coming back. I told her you'd be there when she woke up. You will, won't you?' Jac didn't know what to tell him.

'They're taking her into theatre,' Joseph told her. Jac heard the anguish in his voice. 'Mrs Holden, that's her consultant, she says it doesn't look good.' Jac wished she could say something, anything that would comfort him. But what could she say to make any of this alright? 'Harry's on ITU… it's touch and go but he seems to be over the worst.' Jac kept driving. She was on autopilot now and everything had started to blur into one.

'Jac I've just seen on the news,' Sacha was back on the phone again. 'This is about Joseph, isn't it?' Jac's silence confirmed it. 'Oh, Jac why didn't you just tell me?'

'I was going to when I got to the hospital,' Jac broke the long silence at last. 'I needed to understand the facts.'

'Jac,' Sacha was struggling here. 'Just… be careful, okay? And send them my love. Will you do that for me?'

'Of course.'

20 miles from London… 10 miles from London. Time and distance faded away. Everything seemed arbitrary to Jac now. She was nearly there. Flashing lights enveloped her car; she heard the unmistakeable siren as the ambulance cascaded past her on its way to some unknowable emergency. Perhaps it would be taking the poor unfortunate soul to the same hospital she headed for. Whoever they were, Jac hoped they'd be okay. It wasn't that she particularly cared for their wellbeing – she didn't know who they were – but a night like this one had given her a sense of perspective. Her problems paled in significance. She would see Serena tomorrow. She would apologise and take the suspension on her chin. That would generate a couple of columns for the Holby Gossip Circle. Jac Naylor apologising. It was almost funny.

'Joseph, I'm nearly there,' said Jac into the phone. 'I can see the hospital up ahead.'

Jac's car turned up the road that led to the hospital car park. Her heart was thumping in her chest now and she struggled, desperately, to shake the urge to just turn the car around and go. But she couldn't go. Not now she'd come so far.

Jac parked the car and sat back in the seat for a few minutes before she got out. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. And then she climbed out of the car and walked towards the hospital entrance. Her heels clicked on the tarmacked ground. Click click. Click click. That was all Jac could hear as she walked. Click click. Click click. And there she saw him. Waiting by the entrance. It started to rain.

'I'm sorry I took so long to get here,' said Jac breathlessly and without stopping to think about it she threw her arms around Joseph and hugged him tight. He didn't have to say anything. Jac knew. 'Shush,' she told him. 'It's all going to be all right.' Because it was. Jac wasn't lying. She stroked his hair. She didn't seem to mind the rain as it grew heavier and soaked them to their skin. Nothing else mattered.

THE END