Disclaimer: I do not own the Neon Genesis Evangelion series, Hideaki Anno does.

You Never Know Who You Will Meet Online

Misato's apartment was in its usual messy state after Saturday night, when she would work her way through half a crate of Yebisu. The dinner table was still covered in empty beer cans and boxes from Pizza Hut. Shinji dutifully tidied away the rubbish and switched on the TV and the PS3.

"Kensuke's been begging me to get this game," he thought aloud as he tore off the plastic cover for his disc case of Gran Turismo 6. There was no worry of anyone asking "Who are you talking to?" in a suspicious manner - although Misato was in the same room, she was sprawled out, on her back, snoring in a manner similar to a chainsaw. She was still clutching a can of Yebisu, which had flowed out onto the carpet.

As soon as he was notified that he was logged into PSN, Shinji checked his friends list. Kensuke was online, and it took only a few moments for Shinji to receive a message inviting him to an online lobby Kensuke was hosting on the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Shinji waited for the lobby to load up.

"Hey, Shinji! Wassup?" asked Kensuke as soon as Shinji entered the lobby.

"Meh…usual stuff…tests, occasional battles with Angels, Dad still isn't communicating with me…and you?"

"So friggin' jealous, man! You get to be an Eva pilot…that's just too awesome for me to bear…"

"Who knows, Kensuke…you could get picked…you never know…"

Meanwhile, in Germany…

Sitting with her legs crossed on her bed, a certain redhead set about trying out her new game…

"OK…so, Polyphony finally have the rights to Porsche…there's only one proper place to test out a Porsche - der Nordschleife!"

"Hast du deine Hausaufgaben machen?" asked a voice calling from outside.

"Mutter! Ich bin Studentin! Wir bekommen keine Hausaufgaben! Wir schreiben Aufsatzen! Ich habe mein Aufsatz schon gemacht!" replied the redhead. "Mein Gott…" she muttered.

Back to Japan…

Shinji's Lancer Evolution IX crossed the line 17 seconds after Kensuke's impressive GT-R Spec-V.

"Damn…what's up with that GT-R of yours…" muttered Shinji.

"It's a GT-R! Hey, you know what would be so cool?" asked Kensuke excitedly.

"What?"

"If they put a GT-R engine in an Eva!"

Shinji chuckled nervously. "I'm not sure that would work…"

"Hey…hang on a sec…"

The game showed them a notification: "Inferno-Girl-02 has entered the room."

"A girl?" said Kensuke and Shinji in unison. Their hearts started to beat faster.

Unbeknownst to the duo, everyone in the lobby could hear them. Including the redhead.

"Hmmph…damned PS3 headset. Can't use it without interference with the one I actually need…" muttered the redheaded girl as she held the unopened packaging for a PS3 headset. She cracked her knuckles. "Never mind. I'll just kick these guys' asses while they're still drooling about me…"

"Holy crap, Shinji!" said Kensuke excitedly.

"She's German, right?"

"I know! Germans are so sexy!"

"No…it's just that…German chick…German track…and Vettel and Schumacher are German…"

"I bet she's gonna use something like an Audi TT or a Mercedes SLK…"

Then they saw a message pop up on the in-game chat system, in English: "I can hear you idiots." Seconds later, a second message popped up: "Porsches are better than the GT-R."

"Ooh…Kensuke…I think she's given you a challenge…"

"OK…I'll show her…"

Kensuke selected the [Start Race] icon in the main menu.

"Scheisse…you guys aren't making this fair at all…whatever happened to chivalry…" moaned the redhead, resting her head on her hand.

The race started soon afterwards. There were 6 in the lobby: the redhead, in her red Porsche 911 GT3 RS, Kensuke, in his GT-R Spec-V, Shinji, in his Evo IX, two British players, one in a Ford Escort RS Cosworth and the other in a RE Amemiya-tuned RX-7, and a French user in a chrome gold Bugatti Veyron which was de-tuned to meet the maximum Performance Point requirement. The 6 set off around the first bend, where the French user slammed into a wall after failing to hit the RX-7. Humiliated, the French user immediately left the lobby. Shinji was left to duel with the Escort and the RX-7, as by the time he reached Hocheichen, the Porsche and the GT-R were out of reach.

The GT-R and the Porsche traded blows all the way around the track. The GT-R held the lead, but the Porsche would always try to dive down the inside of it while under braking…and subsequently overshoot the corner.

"Scheisse!" yelled the redhead, her shouts inaudible to everyone except her adoptive family. No matter what, though, she would always claw back the deficit. And then…into Kleine-Karrussell…she struck.

"HEY!" yelled Kensuke, as he was being shoved to the outside by the red 911 GT3 RS. "THAT'S CHEATING!"

In her room, the redhead simply smirked. "Should've turned on penalties, Dummkopf." Her Porsche strolled to victory as Kensuke, who crashed into the barrier after being shoved by the 911, struggled to keep his GT-R in a straight line. Shinji crossed the line 3rd with the RX-7 breathing down his neck.

"LITTLE CHEATING BITCH!" screamed Kensuke - a scream loud enough to invoke the disapproval of his father who was trying to read the newspaper. "It's just a game…" groaned Kensuke's father, forgetting that he had once gotten angry over losing at Ridge Racer, Sega Rally and Pac-Man.

Suddenly, Shinji had an idea. He typed out a message to Kensuke, outlining his plan for revenge. Kensuke approved of it. They typed out a chat message, but didn't post it. Yet.

"On 3..." said Shinji quietly and calmly. "1...2...3!"

They both pressed the [Start] button on their controllers, simultaneously posting the message: " IG-02: tits or GTFO". It was the redhead's turn to get upset.

"SEXIST ASSHOLES!" she yelled. "Screw this, I'm going offline," she moaned. She left the lobby. The British users immediately indicated their disapproval. The Escort driver posted, "bloody wanker y u hav 2 get rid of her?" before leaving the lobby. The RX-7 driver followed suit, after posting "u wud expect dis wen ur playin call of duty".

"Totally worth it," chuckled Shinji.

Scowling, the redhead thought to herself as she trawled through the offline events, "If I find those punks…I'm going to kick their asses…"

It was several weeks after Shinji and Kensuke drove the redhead out of their lobby with their sexist comments. Asuka had now moved into Misato's apartment.

"Jeez, Asuka," Shinji complained as he returned from clearing up after another Saturday night drinking session for Misato, "you're only getting up now?"

"Shut up, baka," she callously replied. She reached behind the TV. "If you're trying to peek at my panties, I'm going to kick your ass, baka-Shinji!" she threatened. She switched on the PS3 and the TV.

"Uh, Asuka, aren't you going to help me move Misato onto her bed?"

"Anta baka?" yelled Asuka. "That's your job. And besides, it's not like she cares right now if she wakes up on the floor." The start-up theme tune played as she switched the channel to the HDMI feed.

"Scheisse…I'm going to have to create a new us-" her words then suddenly stuck in her throat. "Oh baka-Shinji…who's 'PilotKing01'?" she asked in a sweet voice barely masking the menacing intentions beneath.

"Uh…that's me…why?"

"No reason…except for a little message I received on chat in GT6 a few weeks back…I believe it went like…" she suddenly got to her feet, and approached Shinji slowly. "At IG-02: tits or GTFO." Her blazing-red hair flew like a cape behind her as she rugby-tackled Shinji to the floor. She slapped him across the face, and pulled him back upwards, spinning him around. "I swore to myself if I found whoever sent me that message that I'd kick their ass…" she proceeded to ram her foot into Shinji's right buttock, "I just hope this is the only time I'll have to touch yours," before repeating the painful process. "When I'm done with you, you won't be able to sit down for a week!"