Disclaimer: Not mine at all.
Notes: Inspiration? "(Don't fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. Involves April and Roger. Angst, but told in a different way. What if Roger knew April was suicidal. What if he could have stopped it? What if he was asked to join?
"Our lives are like seconds... here but now they're gone." April whispered to Roger, holding her arms across her body and whimpering slightly. She sat perched on the edge of their bathtub, shaking to her bones.
Roger looked up. "Stop." He muttered simply, staring down at the pregnancy test in his hands. That one word made his stomach drop. Positive.
"I don't know how the hell this happened," He whispered and then flung the pregnancy stick to the right of him, taking his face fully in his hands. "It's going to have it."
"He's going to have it," She whispered, not looking at him. April only concentrated on her breathing. "He is."
Roger let out a low groan. "April," He started shakily, "You don't know what it is. It's not anything. It's never going to be anything. All because of a fucking needle."
"He won't have it." She protested, stroking her stomach. "It's a boy. I can feel it. He won't have it."
Roger decided not to fight; he decided not to take his anger out on her. "He is going to have it, April and you know it." He said softly, "He's going to be positive."
She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. She repeated, "Here but now they're gone."
"April," He breathed, "Please don't."
"Do you fear death?" She asked, letting her fading red bangs fall into her eyes. "Do you?"
"April," He started again, feeling himself starting to shake as well. "No. I don't. Please don't talk about this with me right now."
"Seasons don't fear the Reaper... nor do the wind, the sun, or the rain," She sang softly, still not able to meet his eyes. "We can be like they are."
"Dammit April," He growled, standing up and turning to the mirror. In the low lightening, he looked pale. Almost as if the light was a black light, it accentuated every bone in his face to show them probing against the tight skin. He looked terrible. "I can't take this shit from you right now."
"Roger?"
"April, I gotta go out." Roger said, pulling open the door and looking over his shoulder at her. "April?"
"Yes?" She asked, staring at the broken tiles on the floor.
"I-... I do. I do fear death. I fear the Reaper. I can't talk about that. I promise, I swear I'll make this life better for him," Roger vowed and looked at her tummy. "I'll get some money or somethin' and I'll move you both to a rural area and nobody will bother you. Nobody will hurt you. Not even... not even the Reaper." He looked at the floor. "I'll be back." He whispered and bowed his head, leaving. He shut the door behind him.
April watched him leave. "I don't fear the Reaper. I am the Seasons, the wind, the sun, and the rain."
Looking down at her stomach, she whispered, "Don't worry, Adam. We'll be friends with him soon. Daddy will too, soon... whether he wants it or not."
Her eyes fell on the razor that Roger had used just hours ago to shave. Just hours ago, they were happy. They had AIDS, but they were together. Now she was pregnant and Roger was angry.
April kissed her finger tips and then place her hand on her stomach. With her free hand, she reached for the razor. "Soon, Adam. Don't fear the Reaper. Daddy loves you. Soon we'll be able to fly."
Notes: Okay, so my first RENT angst. What do you guys think? Be honest, and as always, review? I adore reviews and they make my day. Thanks you guys. Your opinion matters! Oh, and if it wasn't obivious, Adam is what April wanted to name her son. REVIEW!