"Where the hell is Will?"

Charlie's stern voice appeared from just behind Mac in the control room surprising her slightly because she hadn't even realised he was in the room – he did have a habit of sneaking in quietly sometimes which every now and then caught Mac unawares – it seemed tonight was one of those nights! She stole a quick look at his face – he looked calm enough on the surface but the tone of his voice told another story - he didn't sound too impressed at the apparent lack of his News Anchor a hundred and twenty seconds before they went live with their big Friday night broadcast.

For a moment Mac didn't move – she glanced up calmly and took a brief look at the anchor desk convinced that Charlie was mistaken and certain that Will would be sat there shuffling through his notes as per usual. If there was one thing Mac usually didn't have to worry about or check before a show it was that Will was in his place – he was never on her list of things to go over - never. However, this time Charlie's tone of voice was correct – Will was nowhere to be seen.

She looked around – sure that she would see him come rushing through the door at any second but another glance through the studio proved he was definitely on the missing list… Oh – this was good Mac thought to herself - An Executive Producer, supposedly one of the best in the business, who hadn't even noticed her Anchor – the face of the ACN - wasn't sitting in his chair two minutes before a broadcast. Charlie may have been her friend but he was also her boss and the very top man at ACN when it came to the News. She smiled weakly at him trying to hide her embarrassment… "I'll find him.." she muttered…

"You better do just that" Charlie smirked as she stormed past him…. "Or we're gonna look pretty stupid going live with no one sat in that chair.. It's a great way to lose viewers Mac..."

"For Christ sake – we're on air in two minutes…" She muttered to anyone who was listening as she started to head towards the door.

Mac got to the studio door in record time – just in time to see Will making his way toward his desk, his shoulders hunched and his head bowed low….

"Jesus Will – where the hell have you been?" she barked letting him know she definitely wasn't impressed… "We're on air in ninety seconds…"

Will looked over at Mac briefly, his eyes pleading with her not to say anything else and instantly Mac stopped in her tracks… She was just about to let rip with some smart comment but the look on his face told her something was wrong. She had no idea what could have happened in the thirty minutes since she'd left his office but something definitely wasn't right – it was his eyes – always his eyes that gave the game away. She had always been able to tell what Will was feeling just from the look in his eyes….

Quickly checking that everyone else was going about their normal routine Mac followed Will to the desk as he sat down and started to clip his mic into place …

"Everything okay?" she asked noticing the glassy look across his face…

When Mac received no reply and just a sad shake of his head her heart started to race a little in her chest… "Will? What's wrong?"

He took a breath, knowing he should tell her – he wanted to tell her before he burst but he couldn't find the words – not right now – not when he was going on air in a few moments time… He was convinced if he said anything now he'd fall apart on the spot and that wasn't good for a live broadcast. No, he firmly felt it was best to keep it all to himself – just for another hour and then he'd tell her – she'd know what to do to make it all better – that was one thing Will was certain of.

When he looked up again her eyes were still gazing at him – still waiting for him to say something – to explain himself… He shook his head as he heard Herb tell them all they had sixty seconds…. "Not now Mac…" he muttered quietly….

Mac knew him well enough to realise now wasn't the time – there was something there in his eyes telling her to leave well enough alone – so she would - at least until the broadcast was over. She gently reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly letting him know she understood….

"Are you okay to do this?" Mac asked, knowing his answer already. She had never known Will to miss a show - apart from his recent stay in the hospital of course. She was certain his answer would be yes but she still felt she had to ask….

Will didn't say anything in reply to her question - he just nodded his head but then, to her surprise, he gripped her hand and squeezed it back - a move that shocked Mac – he hadn't made a move first to hold her or touch her since Valentine's Day last year when she pulled the Rudy stunt…

"We'll talk after" she said, meeting his eye and both understood each other in an instant... Will nodded again and half smiled back at her gratefully before he squeezed her hand again just seconds before she pulled it away... As quickly as she could Mac made her way back across the studio to her booth hoping beyond hope that Will would be okay for the next sixty minutes.

Their relationship had moved on so much over the past few months and Mac in particular was thrilled, finally feeling more at peace over their past troubles. They seemed to be firmly past the awful events of five years ago and were definitely what most people would call firm friends – best friends even. It seemed ever since Will's hospital stay and Mac's admission that she was at North Western for that eventful session he had most definitely relaxed with her – things had undeniably changed and for the better. If she were honest, Mac would admit that the days that followed the North Western admission had been tense and had seen plenty of bickering between the pair but they'd gotten through it and had most certainly become closer – much to most people's relief.

Of course, there was no romance between the pair – well not yet! Will still didn't seem to be wanting to make a move towards something more serious between them but Mackenzie was forever hopeful... She had sworn to herself a long time ago she would wait for him – wait until he either decided he could trust her enough to be with her again or until he decided enough was enough and it was finally over. In her mind it was the least she could do after causing all the hurt and mistrust in the first place - and besides - Mac knew when there was only ever one man you were going to love you had no choice but to wait until he was ready...

"Ten seconds" came the voice of Herb beside Mac, bringing her out of her daydreams… She immediately glanced up to Will…

"Ten seconds Will" she repeated softly in his ear and he nodded slowly… "I'm here if you need me…" she whispered so only he could hear and she instantly saw a slight smile of relief appear on his handsome face.

"Good Evening. I'm Will McAvoy live from New York City on Friday January the 13th 2012…."

As Will started with his usual spiel Mac was amazed as he 'changed' in-front of her eyes - his "news" face was well and truly switched on and fixed firmly into place and all everyone could see was the consummate professional Will always was on air. Mac had definitely been right when she'd said that in the hospital all those months ago – when that red light came on the camera there was certainly 'a place' Will went to – it was automatic, second nature to him and whatever else was happening to worry him no one would ever know – not when that red light was on.

No one would know apart from Mackenzie of course…. As professional as he was he could never fool her… She could tell just by the way his eyes looked into the camera, by the way he stammered over the odd word, by the tiny balls of sweat that had unusually appeared on his forehead, by the way he constantly reached for his bottle of water at every opportunity he could and of course that look that was behind his eyes. No one else would ever think this was odd except Mac – she'd spent so many hours of her life sat here – watching him intently, listening to every word that came out of his mouth, watching every single move he made on camera – she knew something was wrong tonight and she knew she just had to get him through the next hour and then maybe he would let her in enough to know what had happened.

An hour later, after another excellent broadcast, Mackenzie made her way out of the control room heading straight in the direction of Will's office… He'd ripped out his ear piece and was on the way out of the studio before the credits had even rolled and for once Mac wasn't far behind him. As she reached Jim's desk, Mac left firm instructions with Jim and Maggie that they were not to be interrupted and indeed to send the staff home as soon as they were ready. She was certain that this would probably cause some office gossip but she'd deal with that another day – that was Monday morning's problem – Friday night's problems were just behind that door.

Mac took the last few steps towards Will's office with a slight hesitation in her step – more than anything she wished she knew what she was getting herself into here. It was so unlike Will to be like this – he was either his normal affable self or shouting if he was angry – that's all there really was to Will in the office – very rarely was there a different emotion shown at work. At home – now that was different – she remembered only too well when they used to live together – there was plenty of other emotions shown (many she couldn't talk about at work) but the only time she'd really ever seen that blank, glassy look before was on the odd occasion Will had told her about his childhood – his unhappiness and upset had been obvious on those occasions and that was all Mac could liken Will's mood tonight too.

She knocked gently on the office door but there was no answer… slowly she pushed the handle down to find Will stood at the large windows gazing out across New York - the city they both loved so very much. Quietly, she slipped into the office and watched from a distance as he ran his hand through his hair pulling at the ends in frustration….

"Will?…" Mac whispered from the other side of the room almost terrified to walk any further forward – she really hadn't seen him so withdrawn and within himself for a very long time...

It seemed Will still hadn't heard her by the time she'd reached him and placed her hand gently on his shoulder…. He spun around quickly, obviously shocked at the contact not realising that anyone else was in the room with him… The first thing Mac noticed was the two tears that were rolling down his cheeks – one single tear down each cheek…

For a moment or two she hesitated, staring at the tears, wondering what the hell she should do but then when she started to think about it she suddenly didn't give a damn what the protocol was in this kind of situation - he needed comforting - that was all that was important right now...

"Oh Billy… come here…" She didn't wait a moment longer and instantly took him into her arms holding onto him tightly as he automatically nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck – their bodies instantly remembering the way they used to hold each other in the past… "It's Jess…." He whispered into her shoulder as he gripped onto her as tightly as he dared…

"What's happened?"... Mac asked but Will didn't answer – he simply buried his head into her neck even further mumbling his Sister's name over and over again into her shoulder… They stood like that just holding onto each other in the semi-darkness for what must have been minutes – they didn't say anything at all until Will finally pulled his head up and Mac gently wiped the tears from his cheeks….

"Will? What's happened?" Mac asked again, a slight crack appearing in her voice…

Will shook his head and looked down taking a sudden interest in his feet… "Jess…" he stammered again and roughly wiped a tear from his cheek as another one crept from the corner of his eye…

Mac felt her heart drop at the mention of Will's younger sister's name – she said a silent prayer to anyone that was listening that nothing too bad had happened to Jessica – she wasn't quite sure what Will could handle when it came to Jess.

There had always been such a special bond between the two of them – Will was ten years older than his youngest sister and Mac had listened to Will's tales many a time on how he had looked after Jess throughout his childhood. All their lives he had been the perfect big brother trying to protect her during her younger years from his drunken Father and the unhappiness that had existed in the McAvoy household but from what Mac could gather, something had happened between the pair while Mac was in the Middle East. There had been an argument of some sort and although that had been patched up something had changed between the two of them – the damage that had been done through their argument manifested itself in the lack of contact between the two – the once weekly lunch/dinner dates and the daily phone-calls had most definitely stopped and it now seemed they only made contact if they needed to on special occasions like birthdays or Thanksgiving.

She looked up as she felt Will shake slightly in her arms…. "There's been an accident"…

Mac felt her heart drop to her stomach as he said the words…. He didn't have to say too much more – she could tell it was bad news – just from his actions over the last hour and the way his leg started to bounce up and down as he stood with her... "Come on…" Mac murmured, slowly taking him by the hand and heading over to the sofa…. She gently pushed him down and then took a seat next to him, linking her arm through his….

"Oh God Mac…" Will whined straight away, his bottom lip starting to quiver… "The doctor that rung me.… They don't think she's going to make it…"

Mac felt tears spring to her eyes at his words but instantly pushed them back feeling she needed to be strong here for Will – she could tell he was on the verge of falling apart and she really wasn't sure if he had anyone else to turn to these days apart from his shrink. She reached for his hand and gently tucked it inside hers hoping it would bring him some comfort at the very least….

"You have to think positively Will… You know she's a tough little thing…"

"It's her head" Will whispered ignoring Mac's hopeful words…. "She was driving…. The car hit a wall head on…"

"Was she in the car alone or was Sophie with her?" Mac asked referring to Jess's four year old daughter whose name she hadn't heard mentioned yet...

"Alone..." Will stated but then he suddenly stopped as if thinking about something... "Well they didn't say anything about Sophie... They just said Jess..."

Mac could sense she'd caused him more worries as the realisation suddenly took over his face... "They didn't mention Sophie..." he repeated louder, sounding more panicked by the second...

"sshhhh..." Mac soothed... "It must have just been Jess... they would have told you if Sophie was there too... They would have told you Will..." Mac tried to assure him…

Will nodded and gripped Mac's hand tightly... "I can't handle this Mac... Please let it not be Jess…."

"You'll be fine... You're stronger than you think you are Will..." Mac answered – praying to God she was saying the right thing for once...

She waited a moment as Will stared into space and then spoke again... "What hospital is she in?" Mac asked rubbing the top of Will's hand gently trying to encourage him to speak… "You should go and see her…." She added – knowing Will was probably going to do everything he could to try and avoid a visit….

Mac had never understood Will's absolute hatred of hospitals… When they were together, she had tried time and time again to coax it out of him and get to the bottom of his hospital fears but all to no avail… He always came up with the same line that they gave him the creeps but Mac could never get anything more than that out of him – it wasn't even as if he'd been desperately ill and had a horrendous stay in a hospital – the most he'd been ill was his recent troubles with anti-depressants and his ulcer but his fear had existed long before this recent stay in the hospital…

"Will?"

As Mac whispered his name again she felt him tense up all over and in an instant he was up and pacing the office, his hands clenched in anger by his side… "God Mac – what am I going to do if something happens to her? What if she doesn't pull through this?"...

Mac stood and made her way over to Will who was standing by the window again… "Will – you can't think like that… Jess is a fighter – you know that - she's been in a hell of a lot of scrapes before…"

"Nothing like this..." he argued back and Mac knew he was right – she just couldn't think of anything else to say right now that could help the situation – all she had was her optimism...

Will shook his head – his worries, panic and fears completely taking over all sense or reasoning…. "I'm supposed to look after her for god's sake… She doesn't have anyone else but me Mac…"

"Will – you can't blame yourself for this." Mac tried to reason as she watched him pull himself apart...

"I'm supposed to protect her Mac – don't you see that?"

His voice was raised and his temper was starting to go... Mac felt she needed to try and calm him before things got out of control... She quickly made her way over to him and tried to pull him into her arms again but he struggled free pushing Mac aside...

"I promised her Mac – I promised her I would always look after her and I didn't"...

That was all it took for Will to lose control completely… the tears that he had bravely held in for the last two hours started to fall uncontrollably…. For a moment Mac froze – she had no idea what to do - what was the normal thing to do in a situation like this? What should the ex-girlfriend, current work colleague, the hated ex-partner that's now turned into a good friend do? In days gone past she would have held him, kissed him, somehow made him feel better just through her touch - but now – now she felt guilty if she even tried to hold his hand…

She didn't get the chance to wonder much more as Will suddenly fled past her, tears streaming down his face and his face crimson red with anger and hurt….

Mac watched in silence as he made his way into the bathroom, slamming the door as he went and then she heard the lock turn.