"I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, hereby formally challenge you, Minerva McGonagall to a duel at 12:34 AM next Tuesday," the Headmaster proclaimed, a twinkle in his eye marring the otherwise furious scowl with which he was regarding his colleague. "As in a Magical duel, the choice of weapons is unavailable, I will offer you your choice of any location on the school grounds."
"I, Minerva Jane McGonagall accept your challenge. Quiddich Pitch. School brooms, I know how you've fiddled with yours. I'll see you fifty feet in the air." A quick glance proved she was fighting a smirk for all she was worth. "Good day Headmaster."
"Good day, Professor McGonagall."
"Is it safe to come out, Severus?" a terrified squeak asked from under a table.
"Yes, Filius. The children have finished flirting and have left the building."
"You make them sound like Elvis." Madam Hooch grinned. Severus hadn't the slightest idea what she was talking about, and in fifteen years of teaching had learned that he didn't want to.
"Oh! I hate it when they fight." Professor Sprout complained, shaking her fists in frustration.
"Yes, it is quite revolting to see them enjoying themselves so immensely." Snape commented dryly.
"Oh, Severus, don't be such a spoil-sport. You know how much fun their duels are to watch."
"Poppy isn't going to be happy about this," Filius commented, "It took her two terms to forgive them last time."
"Which, I would suppose, would be why they can only indulge themselves once a decade or so."
"You did notice that the door was open, didn't you?" Madam Hooch grinned, ignoring the Potions master. "That means at least half a dozen students heard. "Which, of course, means there will be an audience." Flitwick squeaked in horror.
"Poppy isn't going to like this at all," Professor Sprout said. "Don't worry, Filius, This lot is quite a bit more agile than the last that tried to watch. Perhaps they won't get hit quite as often... and Minerva should still be recovering a bit from the stunners... And they both are a decade older... maybe... they'll have slowed down a bit?" She trailed off uncertainly. "Do you suppose we should warn her?"
"I'd suppose we ought ter say somethin'," Hagrid, who had just extracted himself from behind a wardrobe, reluctantly offered. "If on'y to keep us on Madam Pomfrey's good side."
"I wasn't aware she had one."
"So, where do you think would be the best place to watch?"
"I suppose you haven't forgotten that you and I are very likely to be drafted as seconds in this duel." Snape retorted morosely.
"Oh, good. Then I won't have to find that dratted invisibility cloak," Hooch replied. "Say, Severus, what do you say to drafting a little... non-agression pact? Since we're the only ones who aren't in denial about what Minerva and the Headmaster are really in this for."
"I have no arguement with you, Madam Hooch." Snape sneered, "Unless you continue your current line of insinuations, I see no point in reaching this agreement."
"Thank you, Severus." She tried to shake his hand, but he refused. "Well, erm... have a nice week?"
"I, Minerva Jane McGonagall accept your challenge. Quiddich Pitch. School brooms, I know how you've fiddled with yours. I'll see you fifty feet in the air." A quick glance proved she was fighting a smirk for all she was worth. "Good day Headmaster."
"Good day, Professor McGonagall."
"Is it safe to come out, Severus?" a terrified squeak asked from under a table.
"Yes, Filius. The children have finished flirting and have left the building."
"You make them sound like Elvis." Madam Hooch grinned. Severus hadn't the slightest idea what she was talking about, and in fifteen years of teaching had learned that he didn't want to.
"Oh! I hate it when they fight." Professor Sprout complained, shaking her fists in frustration.
"Yes, it is quite revolting to see them enjoying themselves so immensely." Snape commented dryly.
"Oh, Severus, don't be such a spoil-sport. You know how much fun their duels are to watch."
"Poppy isn't going to be happy about this," Filius commented, "It took her two terms to forgive them last time."
"Which, I would suppose, would be why they can only indulge themselves once a decade or so."
"You did notice that the door was open, didn't you?" Madam Hooch grinned, ignoring the Potions master. "That means at least half a dozen students heard. "Which, of course, means there will be an audience." Flitwick squeaked in horror.
"Poppy isn't going to like this at all," Professor Sprout said. "Don't worry, Filius, This lot is quite a bit more agile than the last that tried to watch. Perhaps they won't get hit quite as often... and Minerva should still be recovering a bit from the stunners... And they both are a decade older... maybe... they'll have slowed down a bit?" She trailed off uncertainly. "Do you suppose we should warn her?"
"I'd suppose we ought ter say somethin'," Hagrid, who had just extracted himself from behind a wardrobe, reluctantly offered. "If on'y to keep us on Madam Pomfrey's good side."
"I wasn't aware she had one."
"So, where do you think would be the best place to watch?"
"I suppose you haven't forgotten that you and I are very likely to be drafted as seconds in this duel." Snape retorted morosely.
"Oh, good. Then I won't have to find that dratted invisibility cloak," Hooch replied. "Say, Severus, what do you say to drafting a little... non-agression pact? Since we're the only ones who aren't in denial about what Minerva and the Headmaster are really in this for."
"I have no arguement with you, Madam Hooch." Snape sneered, "Unless you continue your current line of insinuations, I see no point in reaching this agreement."
"Thank you, Severus." She tried to shake his hand, but he refused. "Well, erm... have a nice week?"