DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights of any of the characters and names appearing on this story.
It was a nice day in Tokyo… Everybody was exited, the Beyblade tournament was about to start and Takao was getting ready to test his battle skills on the stadium.
All the challengers were getting ready, the announcer was about to declare the competition started when, suddenly, a black cloud appeared in the sky casting a sinister shadow over the japanese landscape, and thunders announced the tragedy about to unfold as mighty messengers from death itself. Fright turned into terror, terror turned into panic as an object appeared on the horizon: a black citadel, a flying ebony behemoth of gargantuan proportions. People watched with awe as the city of shadows flew above their heads, their hearts almost exploding from the anxiety… yet no one could immagine what was about happen and what cruel game destiny had prepared for them.
Inside the black citadel a voice was heard, a very particular voice, the voice of horror, a squeaky, high pitched voice… the voice… the voice of the mightiest of tyrants, the voice of a being as vile as a demon, the voice… the voice of a hamster, the voice of… H A M T A R O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hamtaro: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Hear me Brothers… The time has come!
( a horde of evil looking hamsters on top the flying city listened to their leader as he spoke those fatal words)
Hamtaro: The time has come for us to take our place as rulers of the multiverse! The time has come for us to lead our destructive march from dimension to dimension and conquer what belongs to us by birthright!
Horde of Hamsters: Yes, oh mighty dark lord Hamtaro!
Hamtaro: We shall take this puny planet, remember my warriors, do not be afraid, for the evil hamsters know no fear… we have the mightiest of weapons, the weapon… TO RULE THEM ALL!…
(The hamsters proudly listened as the great leader was about to spell the name of the sacred weapon, the rodent's ultimate tool of conquest)
Hamtaro: Have no fear my hamsters, for we shall O B L I T E R A T E the humans with…
(evil trumpets)
Hamtaro: THE WANG!!!!!!
(The hamsters fell into a reverential silence as they heard the name of "THE WANG")
Hamtaro: Now go great warriors, make the humans fear the power of THE WANG, spare no ass, leave no butt untouched!!! KOOSHIE, KOOSHIE, KOOSHIE!!!
(as he pronounced the hamster's warcry the allmighty hamtaro did the dance of victory making thrusting movements with his crotch and the horde o'hamsters followed)
Horde of Hamsters: KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE! KOOSHIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The horde did the victory dance and prepared for the final attack against planet earth…)
Meanwhile on the beyblade stadium…
Max: Hey Takao, DID YOU SEE THAT!?
Takao: Yeah! What the hell is that!!!!!???
Max: What do you think is going to happen!?
Takao: Geez… I don't know Max, but I expect nothing good is coming out from such a place.
(Suddenly a high pitched sound came out of a bush near Takao and Max)
Takao: What the…. DID YOU HEAR THAT!?
Max: Yes I did I think it w….. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
(Max screamed as a fat hamster with a HUGE WANG came out of nowhere and started to "Attack" him from behind)
Takao: Oh my god! What the hell is going on!?
Hamster: KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE!
Takao: Who the hell are you!? What are you doing to my friend!?
Hamster: KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE!
Takao: What?
Hamster: KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE!
Takao: Huh….. ok
( Takao watched in a trance-like state as the hamster kept "attacking" his friend)
Kei: What the fuck is going on here!!!!????
Takao:….
Kei: Takao, don't stay there! The damned hamsters are fucking the brains out of everyone!
Takao:…
Kei: Takao, are you even listening?
(Suddenly Takao turned his face around and stared at Kei with a very suspicious looking grin)
Kei: Oh crap… don't tell me you…
Takao:…
Kei: Oh shit, I knew it! I always knew it! You always had the hots for Rei, didn't you! You… YOU ARE GAAAAYYYYY!!!
Takao: MUAHAHAHAHA!
(Takao laughed hysterically as he threw his pants down revealing a huge… ahem, SWORD!, yeah, a huge sword! And pointed at Kei nudging him with this "weapon")
Takao: Nudge, Nudge
Kei: Jesus Christ, Get that thing off me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
(Kei screamed as an army of sexed-up hamsters jumped out of the bushes and gang raped him to death with their enourmous "love wands").
Elsewhere…
Hamtaro: WAKA! WAKA! WAKA!
(making thrusting movements with his hips)
Rei: Uuuuh yeah, soooo… you are a horny mouse, right?
Hamtaro: Hamster, bitch, hamster! But you can call me daddy!
(spanking his own butt)
Rei: Rrrright… so, why are you so horny!?
Hamtaro: Because I AM the hamster lord, bitch! I shall put the entire multiverse to submission with the power of my "WANG"!
(Making a circular movement with his hips)
Rei: Boy… you are REALLY fucked up, aren't y…..
(Before Rei could finish the sentence Hamtaro used his powers to teleport behind Rei and punched him in the face)
Hamtaro: DONKEY PUNCH!!!!
Rei: Uggh, that's it asshole, you're going down, freaking rodent!!!
Hamtaro: BOOYAAAH!!!
(Hamtaro evaded Rei's punch with his teleport technique and proceeded to sodomize him)
Hamtaro: KOOSHIE! KOOSHIE! KOOOOSHIIEEEEEE!!!
Rei: ...Crap, I'm fucked… literally… fucked by a hamster… a hamster with a monstrous dong!!! AAAAAH!!!
And so… the space hamster's assault lasted for months until a small group of renegades started a resistance movement to erradicate Hamtaro's reign of terror.
At the rebel base…
Kenny: Finally! Children of the revolution! We shall finally face the tyrants with all our might!!
(The warriors roared as their fearless leader pronounced his sentence)
Kenny: First we shall strike th…..
And Hamtaro came, raped everybody and the horny hamsters took over the planet earth…
THE END.
Or is it?????
Inside a secret room of the black citadel…
Hamtaro: Buzz, bring me the battle report.
Buzz: Yes, oh mighty Lord o' the Wang!
(Buzz handles his leader a series of documents)
Hamtaro: Hmmm, lets see… 2 billion asses! The mission was a complete success…, what about the prisoner.
Buzz: I don't know your highness… he continues to babble nonsense!
Hamtaro: What kind of… nonsense?
Buzz: Well, he is convinced of being a hamster, like us!
Hamtaro: WHAT!?
Buzz: Yes sir, he says he is willing to do anything to join our cause.
Hamtaro: We shall see… Bring the prisoner in!
(Two hamster guards entered holding a naked man in their arms)
Takao: BOOYAH! BOOYAH!
(As Takao pronounced this words he started to push his hip forward continously)
Hamtaro: Amazing… what else can you do?
Takao: TATANKA! TATANKA!
( He started swinging his "sword" in the air producing slap, slap, slapping sounds)
Hamtaro: Excellent! Welcome aboard soldier, from now on your name shall be… Agent Weiener!
Buzz: Marvelous.
Hamtaro: Now, let us proceed with the conquest of the multiverse… our next target: pallet town! I think our new agent might come in handy… muahaha, muahahahaha, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TO BE CONTINUED…
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AUTHOR NOTES:
SO! This is Long Wang speaking, the fantastic, flamboyant, bedazzling galactic, kung-fu master rodent. This is the first story of the so called "Hamster Chronicles" a tale of unimaginable horror, barbaric monstrosities and horrid depictions. I dedicate this work to my hated enemy, the master hamster, Hamtaro the heartless so that people may come to know the foulness of his intentions and the evil inside his soul. Anyway, let me know what you think about this chilling narration of the REAL ATTROCITIES brought over by the hamster horde, remember: chicks' opinions are always welcome in my e-mail!! But also remember: flames will be used as much needed toilet paper, ITS HARD TO CLEAN YOUR ASS IN SPACE!!! (Read my bio for more information). Well, see you on the next chapter!