No matter how many stars I wish on, I will never own the rights to "The Mentalist." Damn.

A/N- This is a look into Jane's past. I thought of this when I watched the 'memory palace' scene. He tells Lisbon "It's a long story." Well, here's the long story.

Because of the nature of this story, present day is in italics, and the past is in regular text. This picks up right after the "It's a long story" line.

Memory Palace

"Well, we have time for it! We're in a dive of a restaurant, drinking cheap beer. Spill," Lisbon told him.

"Okay. My mom divorced my dad when I was four, and he got custody of me. He wanted to escape the small town we lived in and return to his past and occupation. He was a Roma, and so am I. Of course, I came along for the ride."

Patrick looked around him. Daddy had taken him here to Omaha because he wanted to get a job. The fairgrounds were a crazy place, with people and lights and music. They came to a stop in front of a trailer.

"Stay here, Patrick." He went inside, and Patrick could hear two men's voices.

"Well, who's this?" A lady in bright clothes and a headscarf was looking at him. Patrick thought that she looked a little funny.

"Are you playing dress up? My sisters do that too."

The lady laughed. "You could call it dress up. I'm a fortuneteller. What are you doing here?"

"My daddy's trying to get a job."

"Oh, okay. Is he inside?" Patrick nodded. "What job is he trying to get?"

"He wants to be… I forget."

"Does he want to be a performer?"

"Yeah! That's what he told me." Patrick's father came out of the trailer.

"Hey, I got the job," he told Patrick.

"Congratulations!" the lady told him.

"Who are you?"

"Your new colleague."

"What was your dad performing?" Van Pelt asked.

"He was a hypnotist. Taught me everything I know about it, too."

"Great. There's another one of you running around here," Cho remarked.

"Yeah, just older and more experienced," Rigsby added.

"Anyway, I fit in very well with the rest of the troupe. I learned many things from them all."

"Hey, Patrick!"

"Yeah, Mandy?"

"I have a break from the whole fortunetelling thing. Do you want to continue your lessons?"

"Sure."

"Mandy taught me how to read people. It was part of her job as a convincing fortuneteller. Soon, I had my own show going on, with all the tricks I learned from her. I didn't replace her, because my act was half-magic, half-comedy, and half-cold reading."

"So it was one and a half acts?" Lisbon giggled. The whole table erupted.

Jane just stared her down with a smile.

"Hey you! Yeah, you. Come here. You look pretty fun!" The man Patrick was calling looked somewhat skeptical. Here was this teenager in a black half-cape with a top hat and falcon-head cane beckoning him. "I guess you aren't taking me seriously, eh? We can fix that."

"Oh, really?" The man had a swagger in his posture that screamed arrogance.

"Yes, really." Patrick whipped a bouquet of flowers out of his top hat. "Try giving these to your girlfriend. Or your wife, if she finds out about the girlfriend." The onlookers laughed, but the man looked thoroughly incensed. "Oops, found someone's dirty little secret." He didn't have time to finish rubbing salt in the wound, though, because the man took a lunge at him. In a flash, Patrick had a switchblade out and pointed at him. "Wouldn't do that. The nearest hospital is a bit of a drive."

"Then what happened?" Van Pelt asked.

"He lunged, and he also spent the night recovering from a slash wound at the nearest hospital."

"Damn, Jane! You're a badass!" Rigsby exclaimed.

"I got nicer. I also got smarter."

"What the hell were you thinking?" Madge screamed.

"That I had myself the perfect target."

"Your father?! The perfect target. Really. You thought he'd let you get away with hypnotizing him?"

"Yeah. And could you quit yelling? I have a killer headache."

"Talk to that father of yours. He caused it."

"Sure. He caused it like I built the Brooklyn Bridge."

"He told me he did. You don't really have a headache; you just think you do. That is why you shouldn't have messed with him!"

Patrick sighed.

"I guess I should apologize, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah."

"He ended up teaching me how to do things that many don't even know exists. By the time I was eighteen, I was even better than he was. I was also being challenged by every hypnotist within a five-mile radius."

"You Jane's kid?"

"Yeah. Let me guess: you want to challenge me to a battle of wits. Don't try it." Patrick went back to setting up. They opened in six hours, so they were working double-time.

"And why shouldn't I try it?" This woman was just getting annoying.

"Look, ma'm. I'm strong." With that, he pulled out a pendant that was hanging around his neck. "I earned that a while ago. Go ahead. Make my day."

"She ended up kicking my butt. I was dazed, confused, and crazy as hell until she brought me out of the trance."

"Wow. Someone actually ended up beating the great Patrick Jane," Lisbon teased.

"Don't make me."

"Don't make you do what?"

"Think about it." Just then the waitress came over.

"We're closin' up for the night."

"You never finished your story, Jane."

"Tell, you what. If we ever come back here, I'll finish."

"All right. Well, it was fun playing dress up," Lisbon replied, putting her emeralds on the table.

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