Quietly I stood by my two sobbing sister, at the foot of our parents grave. I was five. A child, who barely knew their parents. Our elder sister, Haku, was crying much harder than my twin, Deruko.

Deruko, despite being sad, was also crying out of plain confusion. She never knew our parents any better than me. Haku, on the other hand, knew our parents that much more, being nine years of age. She truly felt something. Loss, anguish, anxiety, many complicated emotions I never felt as a small child, not even at that time.

Deruko clung to me tightly by my jacket. I could feel her heavy sadness and confusion on me, but I didn't feel it. I felt.. Nothing. Nothing I could remember, anyway. Haku choked back a sob for a mere second before crying again. I remember her asking in mid cry,

"Why did you leave that night...? W-with mommy...? H-Home wasn't f-far, th-the car... Why...?"

My father drove home that night. Drunker than drunk, with our mother, equally intoxicated. I didn't understand it then, but now I do. My parents were idiots that had their fates decided that night. No wonder I didn't feel anything then.

Call me heartless, but I don't care about them. I didn't become a doctor because they died. I looked at my heart broken sisters. I thought of my baby brother at our aunt's house right now, growing up, never remembering his parents faces. I became a doctor for them. For kids and people who loose lives and suffer through it. I want to save idiots for their sakes.

"They're gone. Doctors didn't help them.. They couldn't." I remember saying to my sister's. They quiet down a bit, letting me continue.

"They're gone because they did a bad thing, and then crashed in the car. But.. Why?"

I remained neutral. Confused. Empty. Haku paused to think of a suitable answer for a child.

"They.. They drank something.. Beer.. And they weren't thinking properly, dear..." She finally spoke, her voice soft and sad.

"Beer.. Alcohol."

Despite my age, I wasn't a stupid kid. I knew a lot of things you wouldn't expect a five year old to know.

A nod was her answer. I blinked, tying my scarf a bit tighter around my neck.

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . made you sad?"

A part of my sentence was blacked out of my mind. Whatever it was... I remember Deruko and Haku blaring at me afterwards.

"Y-you idiot! Why would you say that!? There our parents!" Deruko wailed at me, tears continuously streaming down her face*

"... so ... care?" More blanks.. But it got Deruko more fired up. She grabbed my shoulders and began shaking me violently.

"No! They ... so stop! ...! Why would you ...!?"

I frowned at her, probably not agreeing with her. She fell to her knees, releasing her grip, continuing to cry again. I gazed at her quietly, and then to my elder sister.

That's when I made the promise.

"They couldn't be saved. Nothing in this world could have saved them. But when I'm older, I want to save people. I want to save people who are dying, or think of dying. So... No one has to cry..."

I know I made them shut up then. Silence filled the air. I spoke again.

"I'll be a doctor when I'm older. I'll save lives. I'll make people.. Happy." I looked at them, seriousness in my gaze. Such seriousness for a child to have. "We have to promise not to drink, not to reactant this incident.. We have to promise not to die on each other. We only have each other. But most importantly, ... ."

The last words blacked out on me, but both my sister's had finally calmed down, soaking in everything I said, willing to follow our promise.

Just so we could be a family again.

~Now~

Man, how many promises were broken.

Haku became an alcoholic at the age of sixteen. Promise number one: Broken. Deruko is doing a bit of drinking herself, not as serious as Haku's situation. I'm not really into alcohol. But I have my own addictions.

I inhale my cigarette deeply, filling my lungs with the burning sensation before exhaling slowly.

Hey, no body's perfect. Promise number two: Broken.

As promises were broken, I did make up for them.

I am officially a doctor as of three months ago, and a high school counselor as of about two years ago. With my patience, small children aren't my cup of tea.

However, my elder sister, Haku, became an at-home daycare worker. I have midgets running up and down the stairs after work every day. Fun fun fun. Though, she's great with kids, so I'm not complaining much.

Deruko works at some mail shipping office, on the computer and phone all day. Though, I'm sure she's not complaining much, seeing she gains a new "promotion" every two to three months, plus raises. And our youngest, Hakuo, is still in high school, majoring in visual arts, I believe, graphic designing.

Despite being the third eldest of the family, I often feel like the guardian for every single sibling.

Not to mention my job at the high school. I'll get to that a little later.

I only have one day off per week, Sundays. And not even that feels like a break. Piles of work, (Mostly on my laptop), that keep me awake till almost four in the morning. I swear my co-workers just hate me for being more efficient in my work then they could ever be in a short few months..

So I'm busy pretty much twenty-four-seven. Just my life. Helping idiotic teenagers to quit cutting or smoking (ironic, isn't it? ) And to convince them about not killing themselves. And don't even mention my job at the clinic. Who the hell thinks it's a good idea to stick their fingers in a working blender? Meet my patient from about two days ago.

I never said my life was perfect, or myself, even.

But I guess that's what makes everything worth while.

This is my story. And how I fell for one of the biggest idiots of the century, and how much he changed my perspective on life...