Thoughts are in italics.
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Lost. If I did I wouldn't be going crazy waiting for season three to start.
With that being said… on with the story!
As Long as You Want
It was around midnight and Sawyer was sitting near a small fire about halfway up the beach, mindlessly observing the orange flames. He hadn't been able to fall asleep (much to his displeasure) so he decided to sit out on the beach alone for a bit, reading one of the many books he had salvaged from the plane crash, while a soft breeze ruffled his hair.
After a few more minutes of relaxing by his little fire, he heard a soft whimper from somewhere behind him and what sounded like crying. He whipped around and strained his eyes against the darkness to find the source of the noise but the only thing he saw was the dim outline of Kate's tent. He couldn't really tell if the sound was coming from her tent or not, but the only other place the crying could be coming from was the jungle which he couldn't see into through the darkness.
With his curiosity getting the better of him, he extinguished his small fire, picked up his flashlight that he had brought with him to the beach, and set off towards Kate's tent to see if the sound was coming from there or not.
When he got there he quietly listened with his ear against the tarp that made one wall of the tent and found that the whimpering and crying was indeed coming from Kate's tent. He quietly pushed the flap aside and stepped inside. Kate was curled up in a ball in the corner of her tent on the blanket she used as a bed shaking slightly.
Sawyer knelt down next to her and gently shook her shoulders.
"Freckles?" he whispered. "Freckles, wake up."
"No" she cried in her sleep, "no please…"
Sawyer shook her harder and when she didn't wake up he started to get worried. It shouldn't be this hard to wake her up… he thought. What if something's wrong?
"Freckles… Freckles… Kate!"
He was beginning to panic now because he was almost yelling her name and she was still trapped in her nightmare. He was nearly hysterical with worry when she suddenly shot up. Kate looked wildly around her small, makeshift tent and when her eyes settled on Sawyer. She let out a gasp and moved away from him as fast as she could toward the wall of her tent.
Her eyes were out of focus and she was breathing hard as if she just got done running. Sawyer was slightly startled by her behavior. Is she that scared of me or is she just not free of her nightmare yet?
She still had tears in her eyes and looked so terrified it made Sawyer's heart ache. He definitely wasn't used to seeing Kate so vulnerable. Still not knowing if it was he she was scared of or not he tried talking to her.
"Freckles" he said softly "you okay?"
She stared wide-eyed at him for a few more seconds and then blinked as though she had just come out of a trance.
"Sawyer?" she asked with a shaky voice.
"Yeah, Freckles, its me. You okay?" he asked again since she obviously hadn't heard him the first time.
It kind of unnerved him the way she didn't immediately recognize him but at least it let him know that it was not him that had scared her. It pained Sawyer in a way he didn't even know was possible at the thought of Kate being scared of him.
"Yeah… I'm okay. I just… uhh, had a nightmare." Kate said in a confused voice as though she didn't really understand what was happening yet. The nightmare obviously had had a very tight hold on her.
She slowly became more aware of her surroundings as she calmed down and as the remains of her nightmare faded away.
"What are you doing here, Sawyer?" she asked in a small voice that didn't suit her at all.
He was slowly calming down too from the nearly hysterical state he achieved when trying to wake her up. She wasn't back to normal but at least she was coherent enough to ask why Sawyer was in her tent so late at night.
"I was out on the beach and heard you cryin' so I came in here to wake you up." he answered her. He decided not to mention how worried he got when she didn't wake up immediately.
"Oh…" she said, looking down.
Kate was still tense and was too upset by her nightmare to even try and hide her emotions from Sawyer. Besides he's being uncharacteristically nice so I don't have to pull myself together just yet, she thought. That had been the worst nightmare she'd had in a long time and she wasn't even sure if she was capable of putting her walls up even if she wanted to at this point. She secretly wanted comfort but she knew Sawyer was not going to offer it. It still made her feel slightly better, though, that Sawyer cared about her enough to even come this far and wake her up. It was a lot better than what he had done in her dream.
Sawyer, on the other hand, was silently fighting with himself while Kate was collecting herself. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make the frightened look in her eyes disappear but he knew that she would never accept his comfort. She was too pig-headed just like him.
They both sat there in Kate's tent in silence for several minutes. Sawyer knew that now that Kate was awake he should leave but he couldn't bring himself to leave her alone.
At least she hasn't kicked me out yet, he thought while he glanced at her small form. He honestly didn't know what to do now. She was awake but clearly not okay.
"Do you, uhh… wanna talk about it?" Sawyer finally chanced asking. He couldn't stand the silence that had engulfed them. He knew that the chances of her actually telling him what her nightmare was about were slim to none but it was the only thing he could think of to ask her.
Kate looked up at him. Why is he being so nice? she thought. She was expecting him to make fun of her being so weak or make a stupid comment about her having nightmares to begin with but he didn't.
"Not really," Kate said in the same small voice she had used earlier. She actually did want to talk about it but she thought Sawyer might use it against her later. He did tell everyone about me being a criminal she justified, but as she stared at him she somehow knew he would never tell anyone about the nightmare if she didn't want him to.
"Oh… okay," Sawyer said looking away from her. "I'm gonna leave now then."
He definitely didn't want to leave her but her rejection to his offer felt like a dismissal to him. He got up and started to head for the door when she spoke again.
"Sawyer… could you… stay with me for awhile?" She was staring at the ground while she asked this in a whisper and Sawyer knew how hard it was for her to ask this of him.
"You don't have to if you don't want to but I jus-" she started to say when he didn't answer right away but his response cut her off.
"Course I'll stay, Freckles" he said softly.
He walked back over to Kate and sat down next to her on her left side.
"I'll stay as long as you need me to."
This act of kindness coming from Sawyer was too much for Kate and she broke down in tears. Seeing her sobbing like this broke Sawyer's heart. He reached over and pulled her onto his lap wrapping his arms around her.
"Shh, Freckles, it's okay," he whispered to her as he gently rocked them both back and forth.
They stayed like this even after Kate's tears had stopped. Neither one of them wanted to ever move. Sawyer loved being able to hold her and Kate loved that he was able to comfort her despite her previous beliefs. She actually did feel a little better now and she suddenly felt compelled to tell him what her nightmare had been about. Not being able to confide in anybody since she was a kid really ate away at her sometimes and she longed to unload her troubles on somebody.
"Sawyer…" she began, unsure of herself, "can I still talk to you about my nightmare?"
"Course ya can," Sawyer said while brushing some of her hair out of her face.
"Okay," Kate began. She didn't want to reveal too much about her past yet but she wanted to tell him something. He did deserve to know why he was comforting her.
"It started with me here on the island. I was in the jungle picking fruit just like I do in real life but I'm in a part of the jungle that I've never seen before. I started to walk back to camp but then the marshal walked out of the trees toward me."
Kate stopped her story for a moment. She didn't really want to tell him what exactly the marshal did next but she didn't want to stop telling Sawyer about the nightmare either. The truth hits too close to home, she thought. I'll just be vague and hope he doesn't push it. She then resumed her story.
"He started taunting me like he did when I was on the run and then attacked me. I couldn't stop him."
At this point Kate was crying again and Sawyer tightened his hold on her.
"It's okay, Freckles, it was just a dream. He's dead. He can't hurt you now."
"It was so real," Kate sobbed. "I almost felt it happening."
Looking at Kate now, Sawyer couldn't imagine how anyone could ever hurt her. She looked so fragile.
"Ya don't have to tell me the rest if you don't want to, ya know."
"No," Kate said quickly. "I need to tell someone."
"Okay."
"Anyway," she started again, "he… uhh hurt me and then stepped back smirking at me. Then my step dad, Wayne, came into the little clearing and did the same thing while the marshal watched, laughing. When they were both done they just stood over me and watched me bleed. Then you came up and I asked you to help me but you just laughed like I was crazy and then walked away. The marshal and Wayne were about to come at me again when you woke me up."
When Kate concluded her story, she was crying harder than ever with her head buried in Sawyer chest.
Sawyer for one was left speechless. He had left her in her nightmare. Does she really think I would ever leave her like that? No wonder she was so terrified when she finally woke up.
"Freckles, you uhh, you know I would never leave ya like that in real life right?"
He was truly scared to hear her answer. He may be selfish and seem uncaring but even he would never have left her there in that clearing.
"I know," Kate said when her sobs quieted somewhat. "It was just a stupid nightmare."
Once again, Sawyer held onto Kate until her tears had dried. Kate was now exhausted both physically and emotionally so she couldn't help herself when a yawn escaped her.
Sawyer chuckled a little and then said, "I should probably leave so you can get some sleep."
Kate inwardly panicked at this. She definitely did not want to be alone yet but there was no denying that she was tired and needed sleep. She knew the solution but did she really trust Sawyer that much? He's never put me in an uncomfortable position or at least not one that I couldn't get out of if I wanted too.
Before Kate could talk herself out of it she asked, "Would you stay with me? I mean I just don't want to go to sleep alone incase the nightmare comes back."
She waited for the sarcastic comment or suggestive remark but it never came.
"I already told ya. I'll stay as long as you want me to," Sawyer reminded her with a soft smile.
With that, Kate got off of Sawyer's lap and settled herself down on her makeshift bed. Sawyer lay down behind her and snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close. Kate closed her eyes and soon fell asleep feeling safe in Sawyer's arms.
Well what did you think? Like it. Hate it. Please review and let me know. If people actually like this story then I could continue it to the next morning or something. Or I could take suggestions. Once again, PLEASE REVIEW!