Hey guys! So I don't think anyone is even going to read this..but whatever. I'm enjoying writing it so that's all that matters really. This story is starting during the summer after Drop the World. I'm assuming spring break concluded in late March by the way~ Enjoy!
Clare's POV
Tears were streaming down my face, leaving a feeling of self hatred behind. I should have never trusted him; ran into a relationship so quickly. "Clare I'll wait as long as you need," my ass. He was a liar and his actions tonight shattered anything I ever thought we had. Every memory of us was flooding my brain. I could sense his touch all over my body, leaving a tingling, burning sensation all over my skin. I needed to get away. Run away from my broken reality and into the safe haven I so eagerly craved. I felt dirty in my own skin, I wanted to peal it back bit by bit until I finally felt like myself again. But…I knew..I knew that would never happen. Not after the way he touched me all those times. Not after tonight, when he ultimately showed his true self. The events of the past hour slowly trespassed in my mind and I cringed slightly..
"Mhhmm," he breathed, "Clare.."
"Hmm?" I gasped as his hands slowly slid their way down my back to my butt and he squeezed roughly. I began to place butterfly kisses down his bare chest, running my fingertips down his sides. I could feel his muscles squirm to my touch and I smiled to myself, feeling accomplished. He then released his grip on my butt and brought a finger to my chin, leading my lips up to meet his as he quickly brought them together. He immediately deepened the kiss by running his tongue along my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I agreed and our tongues began to battle for dominance, leaving me flustered all the while. He let his hands run down to the hem of my shirt as his fingertips brushed the skin that was already showing sending a shock of electricity through my body. He then bunched the shirt up and began pulling it upwards; we pulled our lips away for a second so he could continue his mission and pull my shirt up and over my head. He tossed the fabric to the floor and we went at it. I began to bite and suck at the sensitive part of his neck, causing him to moan out in pleasure. His hands searched my body frantically and when his fingers began to fight with the clasp on my bra making it come undone a gasp escaped my lips. I could feel my cheeks explode with a crimson red as I pushed him away and grabbed my chest. "What the hell was that?" I spat, standing up and re-clasping my bra.
He sighed," It's our fourth month anniversary Clare, I was thinking you know…the way you were looking at me at dinner, and touching me I figured.."
"You figured I'd have sex with you? I'm not some whore Jake, I was being flirtatious! It's only been four months and you know I'm waiting until I'm married to have sex! We've had this talk before remember?"
"Then stop being a fucking tease, okay?" he snapped.
"Get. Out. Now." I spoke trying to keep the tears from falling.
"This is my house! Remember?" he laughed hoarsely. He slowly got up off the bed and made his way over to me. "Just let me make you feel good, Clare," he whispered sending chills down my spine. His hand reached out to touch me but I swatted it away.
"No. I'm leaving," I rushed over to grab my shirt off the floor but Jake beat me to it and snatched it up before I even got the chance.
"No you're not," he began walking towards me again and I inched backwards knocking into his desk.
"Give me my shirt now, Jake." He kept coming closer and I was cornered shirtless with nowhere to run. His toes met the tips of mine and he pulled me to his chest. I struggled out of his embrace but his grip wouldn't loosen.
"Let me love you Clare," he began kissing down my neck and my hart beat quickened as fear ran through my veins. "Just let me love you."
I brought my hand up and slapped it down against his head, "Get away from me and give me my shirt!"
"Oh, so now you want to get fucking physical!" he shouted bringing his arms to my knees and picking me up.
"Jake! Let me go!" I squeaked out as he dropped me aggressively against his bed. His held my wrists and put them above my head as I kicked my legs around so he couldn't plant himself in between them. "Jake! Stop!" His lips pressed against my neck and made their way down to my chest hungrily as he placed his legs on either side of my body and pressed himself against me. I began to give up as an idea suddenly hit me. I stopped struggling as he kept moving against my most sensitive area making anger erupt throughout me. As fear shook me to the core I decided to get my idea going. I slowly started to bring my leg up from its lying position. "Kiss me," I whispered bringing my face to meet his.
"That's what I'm talking about," he breathed against my lips and then crushed them together. I quickly brought my legs up further so that he would get the idea and settle himself in between them, and that's exactly what he did. I then brought my knee up to a full erect position as Jake deepened the kiss. As he got lost in the kiss I brought my foot to his chest and pushed him off forcefully making him groan out in pain.
"You bitch!" he hissed.
I rushed to get up out of the bed and ran over to his door fiddling with the lock, "Fuck you, Jake! We're over!" I shouted as I exited his room. I made my way to his living room to fetch my jean jacket, cell phone and house keys that I had left down there when Jake and I had started to get intimate. I soon remembered that I had forgotten to grab my shirt. I let that thought slip from my mind as I glanced at the heels I had worn to dinner earlier deciding to leave them behind. I quickly opened his front door and sprinted away from his home. I made my way down his street in record time as I decided to finally slow down. I slipped my arms through my jacket and buttoned each button up to try and cover myself as much as I could. The last button wasn't high enough to cover my cleavage and the tears finally began to fall. I silently thanked God that it was passed midnight and no one had seen me rush out of Jake's house half naked but that didn't help the fact that I most certainly looked like some whore walking around searching for business.
Here I was walking around forcing myself not to go home. I couldn't be alone in my room, let alone my house right now. It reminded me of Jake too much. Plus no one was even home. My mom had gone on a month long church retreat with Jake's father and my dad was off vacationing in New York. My sobs began to come out faster now and I just wanted a place to sit down and clear my thoughts. I picked my head up and looked over to the street sign. Oh. Wow. I was ecstatic that I was only about a block away from the abandoned church Eli and I had found all those months ago on one of our "urban adventures" as we would call them. I began to walk in the direction of the church and the tears kept falling as I thought about Eli. I didn't think of him much as whenever I did I would break down and cry until I couldn't anymore. I had screwed up big time and he wouldn't talk to me. He could barely even look at me and when we did talk it was because I had forced him to. He was better now, Adam reassured me of that every time I spoke to him. Eli had even tried to move on with Imogen, a girl that fit his persona perfectly, but from what Adam had told me that didn't end up working out. As my thoughts wrapped around missing Eli my feet carried me faster towards the safe haven I was craving. I rounded the corner and the chain link fence came into my view. I ran faster flinging myself at the fence and rushing to open the gate and letting it slam back with a loud bang. My cries were extremely loud now as I didn't care anymore, knowing I was in a secluded area alone. I made my way to the crumbling stone and let myself fall down to a sitting position. I soon felt a piercing pain in my left foot and I used my cell phone to examine what might be wrong. I gasped when I noticed there was blood all over the bottom but I couldn't seem to find the reason for it. I shimmied my skirt down a bit so I could use the end to clean it but as soon as I wiped the first bit of blood away I heard the gate crash back and I quickly shut my phone and limped over to hide behind what was left of one of the walls. Who the hell would be here this late at night? It's almost 2 in the morning? I thought to myself extremely confused with who would travel here so late at night. I slid a bit from the spot I was standing to check if anyone was actually here and sure enough there stood a person setting down a blanket on the steps. They held a lantern but soon set it down along with their self. Their head was bowed so I couldn't see their facial features as they faced the wall holding a journal of some type. Their hands slid behind them to get something- a backpack- and then they proceeded to take out headphones I assumed to listen to music. They slowly began to raise their head as they put the headphones on and I gasped in awe as I realized who it was.
"Hello?" his voice spoke out. I accidently dropped my phone and shuffled quickly to kneel, grab it, and get back up as silently as I could. "Jesus, Eli, calm the fuck down. Who would be here this late.." he softly calmed himself aloud. His hand then went to the journal to begin gliding it against the page. I just kept staring at him as he wrote. He looked so peaceful sitting there. Vulnerable even. I felt this yearning in my chest telling me to go and have myself be noticed by him but I couldn't. Tears were still silently, streaming down my face and I didn't want him to see me so torn apart when over the past few months he had seen nothing but happy, strong me. I never wanted anyone to see me like this, ever. As the minutes flew by I finally halfheartedly decided I needed to let him be alone and I needed to go home. I silently slipped from my spot behind the wall and turned around to face the opposite end of the woods. Taking the long way around to the gate was the only way I could leave without being noticed, so it needed to be done. My heart craved for one more glance at Eli so I swiftly turned back to where he was settled but I was shocked to see only his journal planted in the middle and Eli nowhere to be found. "What the…" I whispered to myself as I turned back to the woods only to be face to face with Eli.
Eli's POV
I had been spending most of my nights this entire summer so far at the abandoned church, seeing as I could never sleep. There was something about this place that calmed me and helped me cope with all the pain I was still in. It has been four months since she had moved on and I was left all alone but lately I had been slowly letting her go. I had one year left at Degrassi and then I was off to college away from her and away from my past that would not stop haunting me. As my thoughts drifted away from thinking of her, I walked towards the crumbling stone and noticed a very dim light. With the blink of an eye it was gone and I was left confused. Who the hell would be here, this late? I must be seeing things, again. I thought to myself deciding to keep my guard up just in case there was someone out there hiding in the shadows. I reached the steps and began setting my things up. I plopped down on the blanket and set my journal on my lap but that's when I knew someone was here. I had heard a sharp intake of breath and shuffling of feet. Whoever was trying to keep their self hidden was sure as hell doing a horrible job at it. "Hello?" I sighed, "Jesus, Eli, calm the fuck down. Who would be here this late.." I questioned myself to throw my mystery person off track. To make them fall into my trap I continued putting my headphones on to make it look like I was listening to music. The only problem was I never hit play. I silently wrote my thoughts down as I kept an eye out for any move from mystery person but after twenty minutes of waiting for them to do something I grew very impatient. Someone was out there watching me and I didn't like that at all, not one bit. What the hell are they waiting for..? I thought to myself. I soon heard more shuffling of feet and cocked my head to the side to see if I could notice anything out of the ordinary and sure enough I saw something that shocked me immensely. I was looking at the calves of my mystery person, my eyes wandered up and soon my heart beat quickened. There was blood splattered at the end of what looked like the hem of a girls skirt. Shit. They're hurt..What the hell am I supposed to do? Just let her wander around all cut up? I silently got up and moved more to get a better view. Thankfully their back was facing me so I took the chance and devided to sneak up on her from behind. I made my way around the stone walls and soon enough was right behind her as she watched the lantern I had brought flicker.
"What the…" her voice shook as she abruptly turned around, flabbergasted to be in my presence. I quickly put my hand over her mouth and with my other picked her up with ease and rushed her over to the light so I could finally know her identity. She didn't struggle as we hit the light but the minute my eyes met hers shock flooded through my body and I dropped her at once. I backed up a bit overly surprised by who it was that had been watching me this whole time. We both just stayed there in silence for a few minutes staring at each other. I noticed mascara streaks were running down her face, tears still flowing from her eyes. Her hair was sticking up all over the place, the lavender skirt she wore was in fact splattered with the blood I had noticed earlier, and her feet were all scrapped up and covered in dirt. She was strangely wearing a jean jacket that for the girl I once knew showed off way too much for her to feel comfortable. And as I looked up and into her eyes, pain was flooding through them. "C -Clare…." I spoke.
"Yeah..?" she chocked out. I slowly went over to her but stopped when she took a step backwards, not wanting to make her scared of my presence.
"Why a- um are you out here so late? And um..why do you look..uh..like that?" I motioned my hand to her and her head drooped to look at the ground.
"I-I..um..I..me..and..um me and.." she tried to speak but her tears were swallowing her words whole.
"Umm..do you want some help? I mean there's blood all over your foot and in all honesty you look like you could use the help.." I spoke, pain and curiosity lingering on the ends of my words. I didn't want to come off as overbearing and scare her away but all I wanted to do was scoop her up in my arms and take care of her- make her feel better again. Clare then turned her back to me.
"I-I'm sorry..for everything.." she whispered and then began running towards the gate. I didn't wait a moment to run after her. She was not walking home looking like that and in pain. Not on my watch. I caught up to her rather quickly as she was rushing through the gate. She then tripped over something and landed her self on the hard concrete. "Shit!" she cried out in pain, her sobs becoming violent now.
I ran over to her and bent down next to her but she began to crawl away from my touch. "Oh no you don't," I spoke picking her up into my arms.
"P-Put me down Eli," she cried.
"Just let me help you, please? I promise I won't hurt you. I promise," I breathed out, looking down into her eyes. She then nodded and grasped onto my shirt crying into me. I carried her over to Cece's car and opened the passenger door. As I began to slip her into the seat she whispered,
"No. Don't leave me. Please?"
Her words made my heart ache in pain not wanting to upset her anymore than she already was, "Clare, I won't. I promise. I just need to gather up my things and I promise I'll be right back. Then I'll take you home. I promise."
"No. I can't go home Eli. Please don't make me- I- I can't!" she sobbed.
"Okay, you won't. I'll take you to my house okay? Just wait here just a second, okay? I promise I'll be back in a minute," she nodded. I rushed away and to my things as rapidly as I could. The minute I got back and opened the car door she was up and out of her seat crawling over to sit in my lap. She soon bundled her fists up with the fabric of my shirt and I smoothed out her curls. "Shhh, it's okay. Everything is okay, you're safe now." She kept crying but I put the key in the ignition and started on our way back to my home. By the time we made it back to my house her sobs had slowed but she still wasn't asleep. "Clare, we're here now. I'm going to pick you up now okay?" I whispered into her ear making her shudder. She nodded in reply and I lifter her up and into my arms shutting the drivers door with my foot. She once again dug her face into my shirt and wrapped her fists around the fabric. I soon pushed the front door open, quietly sliding through wishing no one would be awake. To my surprise Cece was sitting on the arm of the couch her arms folded against her chest. As I began to open my mouth to speak she rushed over asking me what had happened and why Clare looked so torn up.
"Eli..she looks like someone tried to.." her words drifted off into silence.
"I know Mom, I know. I have no time to explain I really want to get her upstairs and into bed so she can just rest," my voice shook as I spoke, tears slowly brimming the edges of my eyes. "Can I borrow some clothes for her to sleep in? I want her to feel comfortable," I spoke while making my way up the stairs to my room.
"Sure honey, " she replied rushing to her room as well.
Tears were now falling freely down my face as I looked at the fragile girl in my arms. "I'm so sorry Clare. I'm sorry," I whispered. I sat her down on my bed and she curled into a ball, wrapping her arms around her knees. Ceve then entered, a distraught look on her face. She handed me the clothes and wrapped me up into a hug.
"Eli, she'll be fine. You saved her, just let her rest, and you get some rest too okay babyboy," she kissed my forehead and tip-toed out of my room.
"Thanks Mom," I spoke, though she had already left. I walked over to my bed and kneeled down so I could look Clare in the eyes, "Clare, I don't know if you're fully awake but I have some clothes that might make you feel a little more comfortable.. " she shook her had slowly and sat up. I reached my hand out to hand her the clothes and she willingly took them into her palm. She began to stand up and I backed away and turned around to give her some privacy. I soon heard her sobs once more and turned around to see she had fallen back against my bed. I knew she needed help..I need to..But..
"C-Clare..do you want me to help?" I cautiously asked. She shook her head yes in response and I sauntered over to her as she undid the buttons on her jacket. My eyes went wide the moment I noticed she was only wearing a bra underneath and my mind began racing with the worst thing that could possibly of happened to her. I could feel my hands clutch into fists as anger rose throughout my body. She began to struggle with getting her arms out of the sleeves so I helped pull it off, and through it onto the chair near my closet. I then grabbed the t-shirt from the bed, she rose her arms and I then slid it down and over her body. She then proceeded to shimmy her skirt down to here mid thigh and winced when she tried pulling it down further. "I-I got it," I spoke reaching for the fabric and pulling it down. I took the sweatpants my mom had brought into my hand and bunched the fabric up so it would go up her legs. As I got to her knees I was going to let go put she put her hands on top of mine and together we slid the fabric up. She then sighed and the tears began to fall again, I kneeled next to the bed. "Shhh- no more crying okay? You're safe here. So please, please do not cry." She then laid down again, curling into a ball once more and looked up into my eyes. "I'll be right back okay?" She nodded. I rushed to my dresser, grabbed some clothes, and walked to the bathroom to change. When I re-entered the room there she was still in a ball. She patted the spot next to her on the bed and my brows knit in confusion. I was not planning on sleeping in my bed with her. "Uh- No, no it's okay. I was just going to sleep on the couch downstairs…" I rambled on.
"No, please," she asked. I quickly walked over and plucked the covers up a slight smile forming on her lips.
"Here get under," I muttered. She listened and I went to turn the light off. I then proceeded in getting under the covers as well. "A-are you sure?" I asked. She didn't respond verbally, but she then planted her head on my chest, hanging onto the fabric, so I took that as a yes and wrapped my arm around her waist. I could feel my shirt become a little damp and I knew she was crying again, "Shhhh- It's okay. I'm here. Shhh," I repeated over and over again until her cries stopped altogether and I could hear her breathing steady. I brought her closer to me and tucked the blanket around her more tightly as she drifted farther into her sleep. "I miss you.." I whispered, kissing her auburn curls once more and slowly letting my eyes close so I could enjoy this moment while it lasted.