Setting: Gatlin, Nebraska, on a farm, with LOTS of corn.
CHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHA...
CHUCKY (looking around): I hear Jason's mating call, but there's no water. How the hell is he going to get here this time?
CHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHACHA...
CHUCKY: There's NO POND, YOU MORON! Are we going to be Cha-Cha-ing all night! I've got souls to take over, you know. This isn't Dirty Dancing, and last I checked, YOU LOOKED NOTHING LIKE PATRICK SWAYZE! (Getting perplexed.) What the HELL!
Suddenly, JASON crawls out of the nearest horse trough, plucking hay from his body.
CHUCKY: Well, I'll be damned. You just make do with anything, don't you?
JASON stares at CHUCKY, slowly lifting his machete.
CHUCKY: Oh come off it, you --
CHUCKY is interrupted by the ground splitting open, and MALACHI being kicked out of hell by THE SHEEP.
THE SHEEP: Okay, listen to ME you baaaaaaaaaaaad boy. We MUST find your cohort in idiocy.
MALACHI: GILLIGAN?
THE SHEEP: NO, YOU IMBECILE! ISAAC! Now, the last we saw of him, he rode a kernel off into the sunset. HE IS NEEDED BACK IN HELL, BOY! The Big Llama is having movie night tonight, and he hasno idea how to make popcorn. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!
CHUCKY: (enjoying the show, eating sunflower seeds, offering some to JASON) Want some?
JASON: (Shakes his head)
Suddenly, MICHAEL MYERS appears out of nowhere and taps CHUCKY on the back.
CHUCKY: (starts choking and spitting out sunflower seeds) DAMN IT, MYERS! Can you QUIT appearing out of nowhere! You wrecked my damn meal. Stupid men in masks...
JIM CARREY appears.
JIM CARREY: Did somebody say MASK?
CHUCKY: Oh good God almighty...I thought this was horror movie characters ONLY.
MALACHI (not paying attention to THE SHEEP'S tirade): Have you ever seen Jim Carrey act? It IS a horror movie...
THE SHEEP: SHUT UP YOU DAMNED INGRATE! WE MUST FIND ISSAC!
Suddenly, MMMBOP begins playing.
MICHAEL MYERS: OHHHHHH, MY EARS, MY EARS! (His ears begin bleeding)
ISAAC HANSON steps out, guitar in hand.
THE SHEEP (angry at all of this nonsense happening): NOT ISAAC HANSON! ISAAC...CORN. WE ARE LOOKING FOR ISAAC CORN! HE RODE AWAY IN A CORN KERNEL!
Everyone stares at THE SHEEP like he's crazy.
THE SHEEP (muttering): Well, he did.
JIM CARREY: Ugh. I HATE this song.
ISSAC HANSON: Yeah, well, your movie sucked!
CHUCKY (interceding): JONIE! CHOCHY! BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF HERE!
ISSAC HANSON and JIM CARREY totter off, hand in hand.
MICHAEL MYERS: ...Well, that was slightly awkward.
RANDOM VOICE: Yesssssssss it was...
CHUCKY (irritated): As if this couldn't get any worse...
FREDDY appears.
CHUCKY (spraying OUST): God, haven't you changed your clothes YET! You smell worse every time you get here.
FREDDY: Why the hell are we in Nebraska? I feel like this is Green Acres.
CHUCKY: Oh, the sheep decided he wants to find Issac and thinks he's here.
THE SHEEP: Beeeeeeeeeecause he IS YOU INTERLOPERS! (continues his planning, which is really just a game of hangman with MALACHI)
MICHAEL MYERS (interested; change of subject): So, Freddy. How'd the Hilary Duff situation go?
FREDDY (cringing): It was bad. She scared me more than I scared her. I got into her dream, and she dreamed she won a Grammy. I'll tell you, man...That was the first time I'VE ever cried in some kid's dream.
Suddenly, an ear of corn bursts open, and out "pops" ISSAC.
THE SHEEP: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THERE YOU ARE!
ISSAC: Oh man, I told Continental that a layover in Nebraska was a bad idea.
THE SHEEP: BAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET 'IM MALACHI! GET 'IM!
MALACHI: (still concentrating on the game of hangman, trying to guess) Ummmmm, Corn is the best vegetable ever?
THE SHEEP: NO! NO! YOU MORON! NOOOO! ISSAC!
MALACHI: Issac is the best vegetable ever!
ISSAC: ...And I was worried? (he picks up his suitcase and walks away unseen as THE SHEEP continues to belittle MALACHI)
CHUCKY (to MICHAEL MYERS and JASON): NOW do you want some sunflower seeds?
They both nod.
CHUCKY: This is going to a long night. Freddy WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
FREDDY: Knitting a new sweater to shut you up for once.
CHUCKY: Is THAT--!
FREDDY: The sheep's wool? Yeah. Like he's REALLY going to notice. (The sheep continues to scream at MALACHI, who is now eating an ear of corn.)
WILL Issac be found? Will Freddy finish his sweater? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT? Stay tuned...