Hey kids! I don't own House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects or any of its characters and I'm not making any money off this. Here following is a little one-shot I wrote for Valentine's Day just goofin around. It follows my Seed of Evil/Son of Otis timeline, so reading those first would help.
Timothy Bertrand wiped the sweat from his brow as the unusually hot winter sun beat down on him. Damn tractor acting up again. Working the huge garden never troubled him much but today he had a lot on his mind and he needed the labor to work his frustrations out. Never mind that it was way too early to plant, but he could plow last year's corn stalks under and turn the soil. After many years he had found just how complicated being married to a Firefly can be--especially when married to the wild Vera-Ellen. Just what kind of secrets the whole clan had been keeping he'd begun to piece together.
The fight had been terrible, he frowned as he replaced a broken part in the tractor's motor. He felt so betrayed, the kidnappings, the killings and the affairs Baby was having. He knew about the forgery and the highway robbery and other criminal activities and had turned a blind eye to it. His own pa had run moonshine for years, after all.
He still felt bad about blacking his wife's eye in the ensuing argument. He was glad Otis wasn't home at the moment, but he'd catch it when the crazed albino returned.
Should he leave? Turn them in? Continue to say nothing? He loved Baby more than life in spite of all. Rubbing his sore jaw where she'd struck him he watched his son Travis running around the house and through the yard with his older sister Lily chasing him yelling something. The girl was a toddler when he met Vera-Ellen and he still didn't have a clue who her father was. Travis on the other hand had his build, hair color and complexion so he didn't doubt whose child he was.
"Tim! Tim darlin," called a high-pitched voice. He turned to see Baby standing on the porch waving at him. She had her hair crimped and was wearing the tiny hot pink t-shirt with some weird baggy Hawaiian looking shorts with her scrunched hot pink socks. She smiled at him when he waved back and asked him to come have something to drink. Perhaps she wasn't sore at him anymore, but the problem of what he was going to do yet remained.
As the dark-haired, well-built man climbed the porch steps the familiar halting steps of the pale snake known as Otis emerged from the front door. "Hey there, hotshot," he spoke. Tim inclined his head to him in greeting, wondering what the half-reconstructed madman might do. "Baby tells me the tractor is gankin up again, and since we need it to haul hay soon I told RJ to have a look at it."
"Oh," Baby's sweaty but handsome husband said, taken aback. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
Otis crossed his arms, one of which was partially metal, and spoke, "Well, you two lovebirds get to doin yer thang, it's Valentine's Day an' shit."
Later that day when Tim went out to the tractor he found the pesky piece of farm equipment still being ornery, and while it was idling he jumped back down to have a look at the engine. The tampered-with machine came out of neutral and rolled over him, tearing most of his face off and crushing an arm to jelly as it rolled nonchalantly down the half-tilled field. He only managed a strangled scream before his life bled out of him, his blood seeping into the freshly-turned earth.
"Daddy! DADDY," squealed Travis who had run to investigate. Baby was already in her and her husband's bedroom, crying softly. She knew it would be hard on the boy. Wiping her sore eyes she went down the hall and found a sign that was tacked on one of the doors. 'This way' it read, so she opened the door and peered inside.
A college-age, buff young man was strapped to a chair just waiting for her. He had been a scrumptious specimen it seemed, dark hair and blue eyes looking back at her with abject terror. Another sign on his chest read, "Happy Valentine's Day Baby! Enjoy. Love, Otis."