"He looked into its small and simple life and saw the last few seconds pouring away.

He'd never killed. He'd taken life, but only when it was finished with. There was a difference between theft and stealing by finding." – Reaper Man

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Susan?

"Grandfather, what are you doing here?"

I've fulfilled your wish.

"I don't remember asking you to do anything but leave me alone."

You didn't ask. You wished.

"Wishing never got anyone anywhere. I haven't made a wish since I was…" Susan's mouth opened in astonishment. "You didn't…" Susan stood frozen "You?" she asked. She squared he jaw and glared at Death. "How could you?" she shouted. "You bloody hypocrite! You killed someone!" Susan slapped Death's skull. "Get out right now! You can't go stealing people's life just to satisfy some stupid childhood fantasy! You're always like this!"

Death hadn't expected this.

But it—

"Get out," said Susan in a firm level tone. "You have gone too far."

Death looked into her eyes. He could only see the worst parts of him reflected there. She hadn't used her Voice, yet somehow the words were more powerful without it. Instead of echoing in his brain, Susan's tone dug straight into his heart. He had made a habit of letting himself feel around his granddaughter and this time her unfettered hatred sliced through him.

Death sunk through the floor. It took only a few seconds for Susan to rush down the steps to the cellar.

"You can't trick me with that! I said go!"

Death sighed and disappeared.

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Death stood in front of the doors of Time. It was hard for Death to understand why Susan married Time despite the fact that she always wanted to just be normal.

Err, Lobsang?

"Grandfather?"

Is Susan here?

"No."

I did something bad that made her angry.

"You do that all the time. Just let her cool down."

I do not think she will cool down about this one.

"Should I even be talking to you then?"

You have to help me. She won't let me explain. I didn't even think she would be this angry.

"Oh no, I'm not getting involved in this. You just have to talk to her. I refuse to be your go-between."

Could you at least tell her I'm sorry?

"No!" said Lobsang firmly. "If I know Susan, she'll be furious at you for even coming to me. All I can do is pretend you weren't here."

Death sighed.

When someone wants to forget about their troubles getting drunk is rather effective. Death couldn't feel the effects of the alcohol but still drank it for the look of the thing.

Now she won't even speak to me. She thinks I killed someone.

"Well, did you?" asked the barman. He unconsciously blocked out what his eyes couldn't possibly be seeing. The customer seemed very thin and pale. There was nothing wrong about that, right?

Um…

"It's a simple question. I'm sure you would remember if you killed someone or not, unless it was an accident or something. There's a lot of moral wiggle room when it comes to murder."

But it wasn't murder! Um…I don't think it was…

"Do you remember where you might or might not have done it?"

Yes.

"Maybe you should avoid that place for now."

But, what should I do about my granddaughter?

"I don't know. Women are hard to understand. You can try talking to one of her friends."

I tried that, but I'm not really up to date on who she affiliates with.

"Probably a good thing."

It's just that I don't even know if what I did was wrong.

"Usually if something is illegal then it's wrong, but that's kind of a tricky subject since a lot of legal things are wrong too."

How can I tell if something is illegal or not?

"You really shouldn't go around asking people about it. You could get the Watch called on you."

And that's a bad thing?

"You could get hung for killing people… sort of. I guess it's more of a maybe depending on how nice the Patrician is feeling that day."

That's it? I get hung? For how long?

"Err… it usually only takes a few seconds, but I've seen people hang for a good two minutes. Then there was that one guy who just hung there for a good half hour before everyone got bored and left."

Only a half hour? That's not so bad. Maybe I'll try asking the Watch. I've met the commander a few times already. He's on my list.

"On your list? Let me give you a bit of advice, pal. If you plan on attacking Commander Vimes, you should rethink it. He's notoriously hard to kill."

Yes, he is a stubborn one. I will get him eventually though. I always do.

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Hello.

Samuel Vimes jumped in his seat. He snatched his crossbow, spun around, and ducked into the corner of his office all in one practiced motion. There was no one in the room.

"Will you all stop dogging me? I know for a fact there isn't a price on my head right now."

I assure you that any dogging I might do is entirely unintentional.

"I have a blanket you know!"

I'm not a bogeyman.

"The only person around here who can hide from me this well is Vetinari and he doesn't use contractions. Who the hell are you?"

You know me. I just want to talk.

"Well, you better get out into the open where I can see you."

If you insist.

Death made himself more clearly visible.

"Bloody hell, you look like…"

Yes I get that a lot.

Vimes didn't lower his crossbow. Something in his mind couldn't let him see what was obviously in front of him.

"You do look familiar."

We met in Uberwald. You were a bit out of sorts at the time though.

"I don't think…"

And in Koom Valley

"… I remember."

I was on Cable Street, but I don't think you heard me.

"… You…Gods damn it!" Vimes scowled and lowered the crossbow. It wouldn't be of any use. "I couldn't hear you, but I felt you. I knew you were there."

You always recognize me.

"So is this it? Heart attack or something? Years of smoking and drinking get to me finally? For some reason I always thought I would die in the line of duty or maybe at the wrong end of Vetinari's dagger."

You would be able to see me much clearer if that were the case but no. I am here on other business. It's a legal matter.

"Take it up with the Lawyer's Guild." Vimes sat heavily in his chair. He instinctually backed up a little.

I doN't believe that will help. They would be too lenient with my case, Mr. Slant owes me one, but I have been told you would arrest the gods if they broke the law. I am not a god but I think you should arrest me nonetheless.

"I think you're out of my jurisdiction."

Then whose jurisdiction am I in?

Vimes rubbed his temples with one hand.

"Fine, which law did you break?"

It's not quite like that. I may have killed someone.

"Well, you are Death." Vimes shuddered. Verbally admitting what his eyes didn't want to see was not an easy thing to do.

You know I doN't kill those people I come for. You've seen me at work.

"More often than I'd like. What is this about, really?"

I want to know what you think about assisted death.

"If you want an assistant then go to the Assassin's Guild. They would have the uniform already."

You know what I mean. I watched you do it.

Sam's face went blank. He would rather not think of the twenty-fifth of May.

"I have no regrets about mercy killings."

But is it illegal?

Vimes put his hand on his face. "What did you do?"

"I took time away from a young girl. I did not deliver the killing blow, but I shortened her lifespan. Ten minutes before she was scheduled to die, she suffered a terminal existence failure."

Vimes stared Death in the eye.

"And how was that mercy?"

Death produced a glass object. Inside was a spiral of flaming sand. Lightning arched between the grains and left black burns on the inner walls of the glass. Vimes did not need to be told what it was. He could feel the vile air hanging like a corpse around it. Rage welled up inside him.

"Ten minutes…"

Yes. I took them from her. I asked beforehand just to be polite. She gave them to me willingly, but still I feel as if I've done something wrong.

Vimes pounded his fists on his desk.

"You could have done something to save her!" he shouted. "You just watched her die!"

Yes.

Vimes' chair clattered to the ground and he jerked Death's collar down so that he could stare into the eyes of Death.

"You watched her die and you did nothing," he said each word slowly and deliberately. His voice was brimming with barely restrained fury.

I watch everyone die, even my daughter and son-in-law. Do you think I have no reason for that?

"With all your power…"

Could you do it? Could you take on that responsibility?

"I bloody well would!"

Yet you don't.

Vimes shoved Death away. He trembled with rage held back only by a thread.

You could save so many people in this city. You have the wealth and resources to change the world and you don't. You have the power but you do nothing with it. You are not forced to watch them die but you could save them nonetheless.

"I can't change how people think! It's not my responsibility to save the world! I'm not some sort of messiah!"

Neither am I.

"I have a wife and child who depend on me! I only have a certain amount of life left. I can only do so much, but you are different! Who do you have in your care? How much time do you have left? You can't call me a hypocrite when I'm only human! Humans can't live solely for others!"

Havelock Vetinari has.

"Well, why don't you take it up with him then? You seem to have the same sense of style and detachment! You'll get along swimmingly!"

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Ahem.

Lord Vetinari flinched for the first time in years. He slowly turned around but did not meet Death's eyes.

"At one point in my life, I wondered what I would say to you in the end," he said. "I stopped."

I'm actually surprised you can see me properly with your eyes averted like that. You of all people, I thought would at least look at me directly.

"Not this time."

You always struck me as a curious man. How do you know this is your real death? We've met several times before and you were never so coy with me then.

"Today, I did not see you coming. There were no signs. I am completely unprepared. My skills have failed me. In my line of work, failure is terminal."

You are certain then?

"No."

Why?

Vetinari raised his head as the doubt filled him.

"My emotions tell me it is not my time to die. I feel more than fear and the need for self-preservation. I have some doubt, but I still believe I am dying." Vetinari looked at death with an expression that he hadn't shown anyone else. He sighed. "I have never seen you so clearly before."

Is that so? Might I ask you when you think you should be dying?

"I believe I will be eighty-four or perhaps eighty-five. I have, as they say, a gut feeling."

You are a unique human being, Mr. Vetinari. The fact that you have managed that much without magical abilities is remarkable. You are right of course.

He produced a lifetimer. It was white with subtle accents of grey and black. The ornamentation was plain but swirls and channels could be seen on the edges like wormwood.

Withholding any accidents, you will die around that time. I am here on a different matter entirely.

Vetinari blinked frozen in place. Death had the best poker face ever. Even Lord Vetinari couldn't read him.

"Could we talk in the other room, please?" Vetinari's subtle change in demeanor went unnoticed.

Since you asked so nicely.

Havelock ushered him into a smaller side office. He sat down in an overstuffed armchair and breathed easily.

"I'm actually relieved to have you here, and not in the 'keep your enemies close' kind of way. Of all people, I don't need to stand on ceremony with you."

Mr. Vimes said you didn't use contractions.

"Bah, what does he know?" said Havelock waving his hand dismissively. "When I retire and get my garden, I'll let myself use as much sloppy grammar as I please, but I refuse to use the words ain't and gonna." Havelock shivered at the very thought of it. He slumped in his chair and covered his face with a hand.

You really plan on retrireing? You have done so much with your life. How could you just give up that control?

"I'll never really lose it. That would be nigh impossible even if I change my face and name, I'll still be me. I know I'm a manipulative bastard, I'm rather proud of that."

But your city, you've given everything to improve it. aren't you worried?

"Oh, yes, that. Ankh-Morpork will be fine without me. I have a list. I'm trying to guess who will become Patrician after me. It's still too early to bet on anyone. Until I leave, I will quietly allow people to take out those candidates that I disapprove of. No matter who wins, I will have come to trust them and teach them in my own way. I do not need to be in power for my city to grow. I don't need to be here for my wishes to be carried out. Someone I trust will make the decisions in my place."

You have always been pragmatic.

"So far, that Lipwig kid looks promising. He has a shoe in already. What is it you wanted anyway? I have a hard time believing you make social calls."

I don't. Most people aren't very happy to see me.

"Most people only see you once."

Does this mean that you are happy to see me?

"No, but it's refreshing to have someone to talk to who can only tell tales to dead men." Vetinari squeezed his eyes shut and covered them with both his fists. "Damn it! How could I be so stupid? You talk to wizards and Vimes apparently," he groaned and sat up. "Even with Death I cannot relax."

I do not gossip. I find it distasteful.

"I know about the rite of Ashk Ente."

"I don't lie, but I don't have to answer their questions either."

"What would I need to give you in exchange for your silence? No, that is the wrong question. Is there any way you would be willing to not talk about this to others?"

Hmmmm. You realize you are making a deal with Death? That's not wise.

"I do not assume what this entails. It would be kind if you explained the procedure." Lord Vetinari was obviously uncomfortable speaking so deferentially.

It means what I say it means. I think this time I will require a fair trade. If someone asks me about you, then I will not answer, but each time I do that, I will also visit you.

"Visit me?" said Vetinari raising an eyebrow. "What would happen during your visit?"

I do not know. I think I'll leave that up to you.

Vetinari raised the other eyebrow.

"How long will these visits last?"

It depends on how hospitable you're feeling.

Lord Vetinari's face bore an expression of utter bafflement before he quickly wiped it away. He considered the offer for a few minutes before answering.

"Do you play Thud?"

I always win.

"Indeed."

He mused over the deal for a while longer.

"I agree however I would rather you come to me when I am not otherwise engaged. I would like to have the option of asking you to come back later."

Then I must insist that you not ask me questions that I have heard billions of times already.

"Deal."

Lord Vetinari stood and proffered his hand. Death looked at it mystified.

You would let me touch you?

"Perhaps not. What will happen?"

I have been told I have bony knees and my hands feel like river rocks. Also, with your permission, I could feel your touch.

"You mean you will only feel me if I permit you to?"

It is a personal policy. Would you like me to feel?

"Is that part of the contract?"

No.

"Then we have an accord."

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A confidentiality agreement has been made. Now they both can speak freely. How will Vetinari react to Death's moral dilemma? I'll give you a hint. It doesn't go well.

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Yes I know Vetinari wouldn't let his guard down even for Death, but just go with it.