Disclaimer: I do not own Sonny With A Chance.
So, here's what happened. While on Facebook, I saw a cutest little story my friend posted as her status about true, teen love, and I immediately I thought of Sonny and Chad. Though it wasn't an original idea, I decided to write about it anyway, except adding more to it, putting it in my own words, making it fit Channy, and creating changes that would make it more my story. But as a got into it, I fell more in love with writing it and I found a way to make it my own story by adding a beginning, an ending, and potentially, a purpose to read it, which led me to post it on here. Credit to whoever made the original drabble.
Originally it wasn't a song fic, but I was listening to the song while writing this, and it really influenced my writing. This piece is a little more sad, like a tragedy, but I hope you like it!
~.~.~.~.~.~
They that love beyond the world
Cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill what never dies.
~ William Penn
~.~.~.~.~.~
"Can't you slow down?"
"No, this is fun."
"This isn't fun, it's scary. We're going well above the speed limit and we can crash or even worse, get caught. Do you know how bad this will be if I get a ticket? I can't even imagine it."
"Well, America's Sweetheart, we're not going to get caught. Even if we did, I would get the ticket, and not you. You think I've ever been pulled over before?"
"No. Because this is your first time out."
"True. But I've driven a car, and I've never been caught. What's the difference between a car and a motorcycle?"
"Nothing. We can die in both of them, and you shouldn't be trusted with either one of them."
Chad sighs. This first free moment from work and family affairs, he decided to take his girlfriend out for a ride around LA on his new motorcycle. It wasn't his first time riding one, of course. He had had some practice in the Condor Studio's parking lot under Skylar's supervision (it was his motorcycle after all). But after Chad got the hang of it, he decided to buy himself one. But that was months ago. Finally, he had a spare moment to do anything he wanted to do. And if that meant taking Sonny out on a ride for their one-year anniversary, then he would do so. No matter how hard the rain was falling, no matter how much it was going to ruin his favorite leather jacket, no matter that he was going to have helmet hair for the rest of the night.
Well, maybe helmet hair was pushing it a little too far. But for now, he would just cope with it.
As he speeds through the city, they can both see the city lights in the darkness fly past them in the opposite direction. The sight is thrilling, a personal show of lights and colors which is magnificent even in the blur and slight chill of the rain. It's something that no one would ever think of looking at. Sonny feels her heart beating faster and faster, growing louder. Her adrenaline reaches an all time high. She can only hope that Chad can't feel her nervousness. But at the same time, she realizes that she's never felt so free before. The way her hair flies in the wind. Her lips that can't help but curve in a smile. Sparks are flying, the joy she feels is childish, the color rushing to her cheeks that only she could feel, the way she wants to scream yet whisper at the same time, how wild and daring she feels, how loud and outrageous she can truly be. Only Chad could make Sonny feel so… complete.
She wants to say something, so she opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. Words fail her. Later, a word seems to just stumble out of her. "Wow," she whispers, lamely.
"Wow is right," Chad replies. "Beautiful, isn't it?"
"Spectacular," Sonny agrees. She begins to scan through her vocabulary list, trying to find of a word worthy enough to describe the experience. "Wonderful, marvelous, beautiful… perfection."
"Skylar told me it was a good thing to do on a free night. I have to agree with him."
"Well, thank you Skylar."
The motorcycle accelerates as they pass through what seems to be multi-colored shooting stars racing the other way as they are speeding through the galaxy. The roar of the thunder and flash of lightning doesn't mean a thing to Sonny. She feels safe. She smiles as her grip around Chad tightens. Chad doesn't say a word as he continues to dodge anything in his way, ready to protect her.
Sonny starts up a conversation. "What do you think our future will be like?"
There's a brief moment of silence before he answers. "It's… complicated, I guess."
"It's been one year," she sighs.
"Too early for anything too serious."
"Too late to say that we're a new couple. What do you think is going to happen to us? When we leave our shows I mean, in a couple years or so?"
Sonny feels him shrug. "It's too soon to tell."
"It's been a great year. You think it'll be like this in two years, three years? Will we get married, and have kids… grow old together?"
Chad's muscles tense as he chooses his words carefully. There's not a hint of frustration in his voice, yet somehow, Sonny hears something off about his remark. "All we can do is hope now."
Sonny doesn't push the subject any further. Something feels wrong about this subject. Cold and bitter. Empty, even. Here she was, with her loving boyfriend of a full year trying to talk about their future, which was not at all a foreign topic. Perhaps they would get married. The to-do list grows. Have a family and grow old together. Live together. Die together. Sonny knew that she was young, and at the tender age of sixteen, she was foolish to be thinking so ahead. But how could she help but wonder?
She stares back out into the city, watching the lights, without another word. The magic has somehow disappeared. Something isn't right.
"You know Chastity?" he starts.
"Chloe?"
"Yes, Chloe," he chuckles a bit. Sonny had just learned the cast by their real names a few days ago.
Sonny allows herself to smile. "What about her?"
Chad's voice turns hard again. "Did you hear about her father?"
She can feel her smile drop when she replies, "Yes. Do you think he'll be alright?" Chastity, who had been off the show for three months now, visiting her father who remains in a coma.
"Can't tell. Chastity is doubtful. They say he's still breathing and all. They have yet to pull the plug."
"Will he wake up?"
"…I don't know. But there's a reason why I brought this up, Sonny."
When she doesn't respond, he continues. Slowly but surely. "Chastity hates it. Having to be there, locked up in a room for nothing. Talking to a sleeping person. She loves her dad, but… maybe it's time for him to leave."
"What's your point?"
"I'm saying, it's a year into our relationship. I want you to promise me something. That if we're ever in that situation, you will not allow yourself to hate me. That you will be the one to pull my plug and let me die happily, holding your hand."
The conversation is so wrong. So dark for what's supposed to be a happy occasion. "Why do you bring this up, Chad?"
"Just because," he answers easily. "For future reference."
"But you said the future is so far away."
"Better safe than sorry, right?"
Once again, Sonny can't find words for this, as she stares out into the darkness.
"Just promise me that you'll do it."
She hesitates before saying, "Promise."
"And hey, if I just instantly die, then that's one less step for you to take."
Sonny is quiet again. She wasn't an idiot, she wasn't stupid enough to know that this felt so wrong.
Something is wrong. That's the only logical explanation for it.
The motorcycle is going one hundred miles an hour now. Not even counting the speed of the heavy wind blowing against their backs, pushing them forward. Enough stalling. Enough small talk. This was his chance, her chance… their chance. This was it. It was now or never.
"Sonny," he says steadily, his voice peaceful now. "Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure," she says. "What do you want?"
"A few things, actually," Chad muses. "First, can you take my helmet off? It's bugging me and giving me helmet hair. I can't take it anymore. And you should put it on yourself. Your hair's getting wet."
Sonny does what she is told. Remaining her balance, she unwraps her arms around Chad and carefully takes the helmet off his head and puts it on herself. The second the buckles snap under her chin, her arms automatically wrap around Chad again. "What else?"
"Hug me," he instructs her, which isn't hard for her because her arms are already wrapped around him. Her embrace grows stronger as she lays down her head on the hard leather on his back. She notes how his muscles have softened significantly, how tense he must've been before. "Close your eyes and don't let go for as long as possible. I want to savor this moment."
Sonny shuts her eyes, feeling the wind blow against them and whistle in her ear. "Anything else?" she murmurs gently, having no idea why he wanted this. There must be a reason, she wonders. But she can't quite put her finger on it.
"I want you to answer honestly," he starts to shake, the motorcycle getting faster and faster, the rain blurring the vision of anything in the way. Just above a whisper, just above the pouring rain keeping the rhythm of their pounding hearts. "Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"That's cheating," he chuckles lightly, but there's a hint of sadness. "Say my name. Please."
"I love you, Chad. Chad Dylan Cooper, I love you. You can't imagine how much I love you," she says. "I really love you."
This is when he lets go of the handles and puts his warm hands on her cheeks when he turns around, facing Sonny, looking into those big brown eyes of hers and crashing his lips into hers. It's a warm feeling, a pleasant feeling, but this kiss is different than the others. It's a kiss filled with hunger and urgency. A kiss that warms Sonny, yet frightens her. A kiss that she wants more of yet pleads for the end. It's so passionate, vigorous, thrilling… one that gets her blood to boil and her heart to synchronize beats with his. It's perfect. Too perfect.
It's a goodbye kiss.
He ends it, the words escaping his lips. "I love you too. You'll always be my Sunshine."
Realization strikes Sonny. Why Chad was being so vague about their future together. Chastity's dad. Having Sonny pull Chad's plug if necessary. The not wanting to go slower on the motorcycle no matter how much it scared her. Why he gave her the helmet. Why he wanted her to hug him. Why he wanted her to say how much she loved him. Why he had kissed her. Why she was now uncontrollably sobbing no matter how much he tried to calm her down and refused to wear his helmet when she offered multiple times.
Chad had lost control of the motorcycle.
Halfway through the ride, Chad realized the brakes weren't working. But it being his one-year anniversary, he didn't want to worry his girlfriend, so he kept it a secret. They were going to crash eventually, and no one could save them. Because of this terrible fate, Chad had Sonny hug him one last time, tell him how much she loved him, kissed her, but lastly, give her his helmet so that she would survive, even if that would mean he had to die.
They run into a building. Chad's injuries are horrible: bruises splotching on his arms and legs, scars covering his face and chest, his whole body lying in a frightening pool of blood. Sonny gets away with a large scratch up her leg from her ankle that wraps around to her knee. Her arms and hands, covered in his blood as she promised she would hold him for as long as possible. She checks for a heartbeat. It's still there, but it's faint. Almost non-existent.
Tears run down her face as she reaches in her bag for her cell phone and dials 911. She struggles to talk between sobs and somehow manages to do it. The blurriness from her tears and the rain doesn't take away from the clarity of seeing her boyfriend's helpless body be lifted from the accident into an ambulance. It's too hard not to remember nurses trying to calm you down as you step in the ambulance, suggesting deep-breathing exercises. You can never forget the feeling of someone's warmth and comfort with you one second, and their cold, dead presence the next. You can never shake the feeling of being helpless, like there's nothing you can do except break down and cry.
And that's exactly what she does.
They are taken to the nearest hospital where Chad is then put into a room, surrounded by doctors and nurses. Sonny waits outside, patiently, hoping for the best, but expecting the worse. It feels like days, weeks, months, years before Sonny is let in to see Chad. The hours are slow and long, but she is eventually let in.
The room is completely white. It feels like empty space where ever you go, so open and all. The air in there is so light is makes you feel like you're floating, that you're dizzy and calm. It takes a while for Sonny to come back to her senses, but she gets things in order eventually. She notes that it must be morning now, as she sees a small window in Chad's room, the golden Californian sunlight shining in.
"Chad?" she dares to squeak his name, but there's no response.
When she steps closer, she has a better look of him. He's put onto a machine, to force him to breathe, to stay alive. It looks uncomfortable, but it must be necessary to have. There are stitches on his forehead, perhaps because of a deep cut that wasn't visible the night before that had to be fixed. Take a look closer and you can see the stitches on his arm, a band-aid on his shoulder. There is no sign of blood. He looks much better than the boy covered in blood last night. Other than a few other bruises and blemishes, he looks so… peaceful.
Perhaps he could just be sleeping. An angel at rest.
When a nurse walks in to check on Chad, Sonny can't help but ask, "Do you think he'll be okay?"
The nurse clears her throat. "Possibly."
"Possibly?" Sonny repeats squeakily.
"Sweetie, there's no easy way to know when he'll wake up. If he'll wake up."
"He's still alive now, right?"
"Still alive and barely breathing. He lost a lot of blood."
"Can he hear us?"
"Not sure. Maybe, but the coma was very serious. There's a good chance he can't."
After another moment of silence, the nurse speaks again. "I'll leave you two alone," she says as she walks out the room.
Sonny walks directly next to him, taking in that everything would be okay: the constant movement of his chest, his heartbeat, his lavender eyelids peacefully shut, but more than anything, his hand extended out, palm up. Somehow, Sonny knew he wanted her hand to be there. She carefully puts her hand in, noticing how well they fit together. How perfect it was, even if he didn't have the feeling stirring up inside of him like she did.
"Hey Chad."
No response.
But she continues on, "I'm doing fine, thanks. Just worried about you. But I know that you're okay. You have to be alright. You're still breathing. Your heart's still beating. That's good right? The hospital called the studio explaining our absence. We're still fine. We can take all the time we need. And as soon as you wake up, and as soon as you're ready, we can be together again, and everything can be back to normal."
No response.
"I wish you would wake up," she goes on. "And I know that will happen eventually. I promise to be right next to you when you do, too. In fact, I'll sit here until you wake up. If that takes days, or months… or years."
No response.
"I miss you," she says quietly. "A lot. It's quite sad actually. I know deep, deep inside that you'll be okay. I just know it. You have to be. I hope to see your beautiful eyes again. Your beautiful blue eyes. I hope you can hear me. I hope that you will wake up. I hope that you love me just as much as I love you. All I can do now is hope."
No response.
His golden blonde hair is tousled to perfection. Chad didn't need hair gel to look amazing. His features are so soft, so peaceful, almost hopeful in a way. The way he's laying on the cot is like an angel resting on a cloud. It makes Sonny realize that maybe he was meant to be here. She can't help but think it's a sign that he could be that angel.
Her mind gets carried away. Back to a time that was much simpler than this, when Cinderella and Aladdin came to life every night in her own bedroom as her mother read to her. But her absolute favorite was Sleeping Beauty. How true love can survive through the most threatening moments. How a simple kiss could lift the evil magic.
She can't help herself, and she leans over him, pressing her lips against his. A short, sweet kiss. But it still feels empty and cold. And frankly, doesn't do anything to help.
Afterwards, Sonny quickly leaves, without another word.
To pull the plug, or not to? For that is the question. There are pros and cons to each story as anyone can imagine. Not doing it would be disobeying Chad, and breaking one of her last promises to him. Doing it would mean certain hope for them. That maybe, just maybe, he would wake up and things would be the same again.
But certainly, nothing could ever be the same after this.
Another thing. Was it wrong to keep the machine on? Not only would it be disobeying Chad, but it would be more than that. Sure, the studio would be devastated, but they'd find a new Mackenzie. His cast would mourn for him, but somehow move on. The So Random! cast would comfort Sonny, but expect her to move on. Family wouldn't be affected. The closest family Chad had was a step-mom in Florida, so that would have little if no feeling. The only person that this would hurt would be Sonny. And she would be damaged beyond repair.
But she doesn't have a chance to choose. A week later, Sonny is called after work by the hospital, who informs her about the machine failure. Chad passed away. Quiet and unnoticed and silent.
Somehow, this silence had never been louder to Sonny, and perpetually, shattered her entire world.
Sonny, now alone in her apartment for the first time in months (as Chad would usually spend the night), looks up at the clock. 11:00. You're young, she could hear Chad say. You have your whole life ahead of you. You don't need to do this.
But I have to, she wishes she could say.
She does her hair up in curls, Chad's favorite look on her. She puts on her favorite blush, carefully applies a golden eye shadow that she loves, the lipstick she wore on their very first date together, and a purple dress she had bought for a wedding she would be attending with Chad, which now had no further use.
Sonny sighs as she looks at herself in the mirror. Yes, this is what she wanted.
11:30. Close enough. She walks to the parking lot, gets in her car, trying to attract as little attention as possible. It takes about ten or fifteen minutes to arrive to her destination, but she does get there. She takes her time: finding the perfect parking place, getting out of the car, tying her strappy high heels, and touching up her makeup one last time.
She notes how nice the whole scene looks. Chad and Sonny's second date. On a bridge over a romantic river. The moonbeams shine on the fast-paced river, bashing against the rocks. The air is nice and crisp, not cold nor warm, it's just right. The night is clear, all the stars twinkling in the sky, but one glimmers the most. Perhaps it's Chad, she thinks. And somehow she feels his presence.
When she steps on the bridge, she looks down. The water is fast, deadly, and deep. Exactly how she wants it to be. She takes a deep breath before letting herself fall off the bridge and going deeper and deeper into the water.
The coldness punctures her in every way possible. Goosebumps rise, the blood beneath her skin boils in hopes to warm her up, and her body naturally shivers. Her body tries to gasp for air, but Sonny forces herself down. She forces herself to take a deep breath, and as the water fills up her lungs, the more darkness surrounds her. And the more pleased she is. She manages a smile before she officially loses all feeling.
"Sonny."
She's not drowning anymore. In fact, she's floating. The water that surrounded her has now evaporated and vanished completely. The voice of an angel calls out to her.
"Sonny."
Sonny dares to open her eyes. And yes, she is floating. She's no longer in strappy heels and a purple dress, but a light white robe lined with gold. Her hair is adorned with gold and white flowers, her jewelry made of fine gold. But that's not all that shocks her.
Chad. On the other side of the thin fabric that separates earth from Heaven, worldly desires to purity. He has no signs of torture or hurt is shown, all scars are healed. He too is wearing a white and gold robe, light weight and free. There seems to be a slight holy glow around him, very heavenly. He's floating too, his blue eyes warm and inviting as he stares at his girlfriend.
"You didn't have to do that you know," Chad says. His voice is flawless. No hint of frustration or anger or rage… just his natural, beautiful voice.
"I had to," she says. "I couldn't live without you."
"You lived without me for a week," he points out.
"Because I was dwelling on the fact that you were still alive," she says.
He swallows hard. "You could've had a beautiful life. A husband, kids, a family. Why did you throw that all away?"
"Because I wanted to be with you, Chad," she says. "I—I love you."
Chad doesn't question any further. He just opens his arms out for Sonny, and she doesn't hesitate. She runs into his arms, happy to feel his embrace.
Sacrifice. Hope. Love. It had all been worth it. The boy who slipped away from her so easily was finally hers once again.
~.~.~.~.~.~
So… what'd you think? I'm pretty proud of it, just because I was able to write this in third perspective. There's something off about it though. It could be just because it's sad, and I usually don't write sad things (but hey, there was a happy ending somewhat?), but it could also be because I was multi-tasking and watching Modern Family while writing half of this fic... I guess I rushed in some places and was kind of out of character while watching two gay guys go on a juice fast. :3
Haha, anyways, tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!