A/N: I couldn't wait! I was going to try and get more chapters done before posting this story but I had to do it - I'm too addicted! Thanks for beta-ing (is that a word?) my chapter teamezria53098! As for everyone else, hope you like the sequel! Give me your thoughts!

P.S. the title is weird because it fits in with the first story. Get it? Trust me in time, Issues will change (the blanks didn't really show up in the title, but oh well. I thought it was kind of cool haha).

His words to me will always echo in my head and the memories we had together will never fade from my mind. My best friend is dead, and my long time buddy is gone but that doesn't mean his legacy won't live on. Holden Strauss was my best friend and someone who can't be described on paper. He had a hero complex that reminded me of Superman, saving my life on more than one occasion. His downfall was never his heart condition or some kryptonite rock; rather it was his own giving and carefree expression for living. His words set people free and made them see how talented they could really be. He made everyone live for themselves and do what they wanted to do no matter what the cost was. Sometimes what people believe is best for you is not really what's best for you – is what he always used to say to me. And I believe it. I believe that because of Holden, my life was changed forever – for the better.

"What are you up to?" Ella asked popping her head into Aria's room.

"Finishing my paper," Aria said with a big breath. She waited till it was finished printing to straighten out the papers and put it in a neat plastic cover.

"I thought Mr. Fitz said you didn't have to do it?" Ella wondered curiously, stepping further into her room. Since 'A' Aria was still learning to get over Holden's death. Jason had been by her side telling her guilt wasn't the way to live and so were her friends and family but it couldn't help Aria until she figured it out for herself.

"I know," Aria replied smoothing out the front page, "but I wanted to. Holden deserved this from me."

"So…you're going into school today?" Ella asked. She had let her take the week off. After the whole 'A' situation, all the mothers of the four friends thought it was best. The girls had a hard semester so far – a lot more than what they seen.

"Yea," Aria answered staring at her work. Shaking herself from her thoughts she got up and changed into some school appropriate clothes.

"Did you need me to drive you?"

"Aren't you going into work?" Aria wondered as she held up some clothes in her hand.

"I'm sure if you hurry we both can make it."

"I still have to shower," Aria replied with a guilty look on her face.

"Oh, okay," Ella said trying not to take the rejection personal. "…Did you see the picture Greg and Andrea sent us? The one of Haley?"

"Yea, I can't believe how small she is," Aria commented. Even though the terms of her uncle's departure wasn't the best, Aria knew they would be okay. Their relationship was flexible like that.

Ella watched her daughter, unsure what to say next. Aria was preoccupied with other things and seemed to be okay. Maybe she was… "I'll see you later then," Ella dismissed.

"Sure," Aria said with a flat smile. Turning back to her clothes, she waited until she heard her mom shut the front door to plop back down on her bed. This was life now…this was freedom.

Aria made it to school by the end of lunch. She had come straight into school and knocked on Ezra Fitz's door to come in.

"Aria," he said surprised, pushing away his lunch.

"Hi," she said flatly, feeling awkward with the situation she was putting herself in. The bell hadn't rung yet to signal the next period so it was just her and him in the empty halls and classroom.

"Come in, please," he said pushing his chair back so they could face each other.

"Thanks," she murmured quietly. Pulling her arms away from her chest, Aria handed her paper to Ezra.

"What's this?" he asked taking whatever she had held out in her hands to him.

"The paper about Holden," she answered. "I know you said I didn't have to do it," she added as she read his face, "but I think he deserved it. He should be remembered in some type of way…especially by me."

"Wow this is–…are you sure?" he asked looking at the front cover.

Distracted by the ringing of the bell Aria turned back to her English teacher and former boyfriend. "Yes, I'm positive. I wanted to do this, especially for Mrs. Strauss." Holden's mom had done something like Ali's. Instead of having the whole town commemorate him though, Mrs. Strauss kept it small and invited anyone from the school to come and share things about Holden at their house in their backyard. Apparently it was going to be this huge Bonfire or something for anyone to join.

"May I read it?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied hesitantly, now rocking back on her toes. "If there is anything I need to fix in there or could make better, please tell me. I would love some input."

"I'm sure its perfect Aria," he answered, "you're an amazing writer."

"Thanks," she replied awkwardly.

"Okay, well I'm gunna head back to class."

Nodding, Ezra watched her turn around and start to leave. "Aria!" he called on impulse. Watching her spin around and look at him made his heart beat a mile per second. "Thank you for doing this. And…I'm sorry, about assigning this when you were in class."

Aria shrugged and gave a flat smile. "You were trying to help – a lot of people are," she replied, "and I guess I just needed to find a way to heal for myself."

"Did you?" he spoke quickly again, sad to see her leave. "Heal I mean."

She stood in the middle of the doorway for a few seconds, lost in thought on how to respond. "I'm working on it," she settled for. Giving him a small smile as she left, he watched her move away from sight.

"Hey," Jason said catching her arm as she walked out from Mr. Fitz's room.

"Hey what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he said following in step with her to her locker. "I stopped by your house during my lunch break to see if you wanted to grab something quick with me but your car was gone and your mom said you went into school."

"You talked to my mom?" Jason's relationship with Ella had become close since Aria's dealing with Holden. They had exchanged numbers, shared information on Aria, and other weird things. It weirded Aria out, especially now that he called her 'El'.

"You didn't pick up your phone," he replied looking at her.

"Oh," she said reaching into her bag. Digging out her phone she flipped it open and saw she did have one missed call and text from Jason. "Sorry."

"So…what are you doing here?" he wondered as she shut the locker door.

"What do you mean? Its school."

"Yea, and your mom told you to take the week off," he supplied back for her with a weird and suspicious look.

"I couldn't sit around any longer," she answered with a shrug. "I don't know, as much as I loved being home I needed to get out. I was going stir crazy for a while."

"And there's nothing else underneath that?" he wondered, staring at her like he was knocking back all her defenses to find the truth.

Biting her lip, Aria gave a careless shrug again and decided to start walking to class. "It was time I took my fresh start."

"Ar," Jason said holding her back lightly by her elbow before she could escape into class. Sighing, Aria knew what he wanted. He didn't want the skirt around crap answer she would give everyone else. He wanted the truth – the real hard gritty truth.

"Sitting around made me think of him too much and I couldn't do it. And plus, I wrote my paper today. I sat down and just…wrote. And I know," she spoke before he could say anything, "I know I didn't have to do the assignment, but I wanted to. Holden should be heard about by me too."

"These are some pretty big steps you've been taking," he commented.

"I thought that if I could write and finish Holden's paper, I could be here and make it through the day."

"And? How's that going?" he wondered letting go of her elbow.

"I'll let you know," she exhaled, reaching up to give him a kiss before entering the classroom and talking to the teacher.

"Hey what are you doing back here?" Toby wondered as Aria maneuvered through the hallways to get to her locker when the day ended.

"I'm attending class," she answered over her shoulder to him.

"I thought you all had the week off. Is Spencer here too?"

"We did but I came anyways. And no, she isn't here. I think she's enjoying her week off."

"And you aren't?" Toby wondered, following her to her locker and standing beside her.

"I was," she shrugged, "but there is only so many reruns of my favorite shows that I can watch. Plus, we are out of Ben and Jerry's," she said glancing at him. He gave a bright smile and chuckled.

"Hey you two," Jason said coming up to them.

"Hey man," Toby said giving him a clap. "I'll let you guys go. Nice seeing you Aria."

"You too Toby," Aria smiled, grabbing the rest of her books before shutting her locker and facing Jason.

"What?" she wondered, smiling when she noticed him watching her.

"You made it through the day," he commented.

"I would hardly call two periods the whole day," she replied, taking his hand and leading them out of school.

"It's a step," he responded, kissing the back of her hand. Smiling, Aria shook her head and nudged him with her shoulder.

"Did you want to do something after school?" he asked as they were met with the bright sun when the pushed open the school's front doors.

"I would," Aria said squinting a bit, "but I have work today."

"Your going to the studio today too?" he asked surprised.

"Yep," she replied, swinging their hands between them.

"Ar, Laurel gave you the full week off to with pay."

"I know," she sighed again now turning to face him after making their way to her car, "but I want to do this. I want to start living again Jase. I don't want to sit around my house and eat chips all day while sitting in front of the TV. I'm trying to move past Holden but I can't do that if I sit around and think of him all day."

He analyzed her for a while, making sure that was the whole truth and no mask of bravery that was being put up. When he was satisfied, and Aria knew when, he approved it and bent down to kiss her. "Call me later then okay? I was thinking another date night soon? You…me…somewhere special."

"Like where?" she wondered with a shy smile as they went to break away.

"Sorry Ms. Montgomery," he replied with centimeters between their lips, "it's a secret." Pulling away from the temptation without a kiss, Jason held his satisfactory smirk and left her near her car.

Laurel was surprised to see Aria when she walked into the office too, but the same old questions Aria had been getting all day weren't asked by Laurel. Instead, she put her to work in the darkroom to develop photos she had been behind on and called it 'a blessing to have her in at work'. The two of them worked together for hours, printing pictures, planning parties and checking equipment. Laurel had to literally shove Aria from her studio saying she should get home for dinner and not have to suffer carry out with her. So she did that – or she went to at least.

"Aria?" Spencer wondered when Aria went to go get in her car parked across the street from her work.

"Hey Spence…Emily, Hanna," she acknowledged. "What are you going here? We thought you would be home…dealing…" Emily hesitated.

"I'm fine – better," Aria replied with her keys in her hand. "I needed some time out of the house and clear my head."

"So you're feeling better?" Spencer wondered.

"Much," she answered with a small fake smile. It wasn't that Aria wasn't feeling better or doing better at least, but she felt out of place all of the sudden. It was like after 'A' and figuring out the long truth about who it was, Aria was done with it all.

It wasn't in the sense where she didn't want to be friends with Hanna, Spencer and Emily. It was nothing like that at all. It was just…Aria wasn't sure if she wanted to have that close-knit circle again. Too much had happened – had gone down – for her not to relate the four of them together with 'A'.

"I heard Wren's sentencing was today," Emily spoke up – hence all of Aria's thoughts…

"Life in prison," Spencer grumbled as she held onto her purse strap.

"With no parole," Hanna finished.

"You know what you guys? I really have to get going. My mom's probably home getting dinner on the table."

"Oh…okay," Hanna said downfallen. She hadn't seen or spent time with Aria in a while. After the arrests with 'A' she spent most of her time at home or surrounded by family dealing with Holden's death. Mostly Jason was the one to fill them in on Aria's well being.

"See ya," Spencer said brokenly, thinking about the same thing.

"Okay, was that awkward or was that jus me?" Emily called out when Aria drove away.

"She just needs more time," Hanna suggested.

"Or maybe being around us brings up too many bad memories," Spencer supplied. "I mean if you think about it, what ties us together was Alison and 'A'. Dealing with another dead friend probably makes her think of Holden, which in turn makes her think about the guilt she's dealing with."

"Geez, maybe you should be a psychologist," Hanna grumbled.

"I'm just thinking out loud," Spencer stated.

"You could be right," Emily sighed as they started walking down the sidewalk again, "I just we could help her or something."

"We just need to give it some time," Spencer replied. "Hopefully Aria will turn a corner."

Glancing back to where Aria's car was, Hanna tried not to frown at the situation and continue walking with her friends.

When Aria got home and set her things down she noticed one of two things. First, Ella was near the stove stirring some concoction in a large pot and two, Jason was there setting the table.

"Uh…hey, what are you doing here?" Aria wondered while taking off her shoes.

"Your mom invited me," Jason said smiling at her.

"Did you have a good day at school?" Ella wondered to Aria when she passed her.

"Great," she replied.

"And work?" Ella asked again.

"That was good too," Aria responded. Giving a dry smile to the two of them, she announced she was going to go take a nap and call her down when dinner was ready.

Aria's problems were starting to surface and none of them were because of 'A'. She was starting to lose her spark with Jason and become too close to her mother. Don't get her wrong, Aria loved her mom, but at times…Aria needed space and her room couldn't always give her that. Lately her and Jason had been more like hover drones than a parent and boyfriend. They were acting like Aria was ready to break any second – and maybe she was at times, but she was doing better (or at least trying). Aria felt like there was no confidence from them to get through the day without breaking down or going into hysterics. She told herself she was fine and everyone else for the matter, so why couldn't the two of them get that?

"Hey," Jason said knocking on Aria's door. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," she answered staring at her ceiling, "just tired."

"You know just because your not looking at me doesn't mean I don't know your lying right?" he asked her, walking further into her room and shutting the door. Giving a large sigh, Aria turned her head to look at him. "I'm fine; just tired from the long day."

"What's going on?" he wondered coming to sit next her on the open space of the bed.

"Nothing," she said groaning in frustration.

"Ar," he started, signaling to Aria he was about to go on some long speech about something.

"No," she protested, sitting up from her bed and swinging her legs down to the floor. "I'm fine okay Jason? I don't need a babysitter or to be asked how I'm doing every five seconds." Going to the door, she swung it open and stood beside it. "Please."

Knowing to take the cue that he should leave, he got up from the bed and stood in the middle of her room.

"Don't," she stated, cutting off from saying something. "Please just go. I don't want any dinner or to talk. I just want to be left alone for a while."

Unsure on why she was being his way, Jason studied her for a while. Her posture was hunched forward, she looked worn and her eyes were clear as day – no tears. "Okay," he caved. Putting his hands in his pockets, Jason walked out from her room and heard the door shut behind him. Girls…he'd never know them for sure.

"Everything okay?" Ella wondered appearing in the hall.

"Yea, I think so," Jason answered staring back to the wood door.

"Is she okay?" Ella asked.

"I think she's just tired; probably needs some space."

"Okay," Ella shrugged, "well dinner is ready I'll just – "

"She already passed on dinner," he stated to her. "I wouldn't-"

"Got it," Ella said taking the hint from him. Deciding to go get Mike, Ella told Jason she would meet him downstairs.

Aria groaned after she heard all of this. Doors were thick, but they weren't that thick especially since they were standing right outside her door. Aria wished for real freedom. For a real way of living. Since 'A', her mother had been hanging around too much, Jason had been appearing everywhere every second, and her friends had been showing up in a clan like they were magnets all around town. She wanted change and better happiness. She didn't want to feel like she was drowning or ready to strangle herself with the people practically on top of her. She wanted to breathe again.

Grabbing a sheet of paper from a note pad, Aria wrote she was going out and stuck it on her bedspread. Mike wasn't the only who could sneak out from time to time. She was good at ir remember? Popping open her window carefully, Aria hopped up and stood on the roof. Sometimes it was too simple…

She ended up going to the first place Jason and her went on a date to. It was that astronomy museum place. She took an empty seat in the star projection room and gazed up at the stars for the longest time. This felt like freedom – like she could do anything, be anything, without anyone hovering over her like she would fail or fall apart.

"You had us worried," Jason's voice stated as he plopped down in a seat next to her.

"Well then maybe you should all stop worrying," she muttered, not taking her eyes away from the dark night.

"Aria," Jason sighed.

"Please, just don't," she said turning to him. "I'm tired of the lectures and the constant worrying. I'm fine and I'm not going to crack. You all need to just lay off for a bit. I can barely breathe by myself without you all coming to my aid to make sure I'm doing it right."

"We just want to be here for you," he replied.

"No," she sighed turning back up to the sky one last time. "There are ways of being there for someone when they lost someone and went through what Spencer, Hanna, Emily, and I did, but then there are ways of being claustrophobic and you buddy, have done choice number two."

Aria brought up her hands to her face and felt like screaming. There was so much pent up frustration and anger. Her sadness had turned into hurt and injustice. Seeing Wren go to prison and Mona into a mental facility wasn't enough and having everyone act like she was a piece of glass made her want to throw things at them. "You're supposed to be my boyfriend not my caretaker or babysitter. I can do things on my own Jason. I can heal from Holden's death on my own."

Jason stared into her eyes and gave a sigh of his own. His concern for Aria, along with her family's worries trumped his need to be the normal guy he was usually for her. He lost his patience for her to come to him and deal with the fact that sometimes she did keep secrets. He took his own worry and instability and projected it onto her. Aria wasn't a fragile doll that was going to break. She was a strong woman, who was his girlfriend. His girlfriend - not his full time responsibility like a babysitter.

"I'm smothering you," he suggested.

"Yes," she replied guilty. "I'm sorry but you and my mom are driving me insane. The whole stopping by and calls to her to see how I am. You see me everyday for hours. Honestly, the whole thing just freaks me out a but and makes me feel really uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry," Jason replied with just as much guilt in his tone, "I didn't mean to be like that."

"No, I am too," she said shuffling in her seat so she could face him. "I should have told you before. I took most of my frustration out on you."

Jason gave a half a smile and moved so he was facing her too. "I'm glad I found you here."

"I'm surprised you did," she smiled when he brought his hand up to tuck some hair behind her ear.

"You loved this place Aria. If I remember correctly, I had the hardest time getting you out of here."

"Its calming," she noted, taking a second to glance around again.

"I know," he said staring at her with love, "I remember you telling me. It made you feel at peace, like you could do anything here. It made your thoughts vanish."

"Yea," she blushed tucking her chin closer to her chest, embarrassed that he remembered everything she said.

"I'm sorry Ar, for suffocating you like that and not seeing that I should be your boyfriend not your caretaker."

"Its okay," she whispered snuggling as close as she could to him to watch the stars together.