War of the Universes

Hey hey! Here's my first Crossover fic; Hope you like it!

Extended Summary: Hank Hill, Stan Marsh, and Evil Monkey are chosen to wield powerful weapons and represent Humanity in a universal battle for domination. Along the way they'll meet new friends, new enemies, and they will all learn many things about themselves.

Please Read, Review, and Enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

The First Hero

Panic was spreading across the town of South Park, Colorado as a large dimensional rip appeared in front of City Hall. Screams of terror rang out from every corner of the town from people who seemed to suspiciously share the same voice actors.

A local news crew was at the scene of the portal, seemingly not caring about its dangers at all. Stan and his parents were both tuned in, watching the report.

"Tom, I'm standing here next to the dimensional rip, which is literally sucking in everything and anything near it," the on-the-scene reporter Chris Swollenballs reported. "Oh my god! It's a woman and her child!"

Chris and the cameraman turned to see a woman holding onto her child's stroller, being pulled in closer and closer to the rip. "No! Nooooo-" Her voice cut off as she was sucked into the vortex along with her child. The camera panned back over to Chris.

"That was a prime example Tom of what we're dealing with here. Experts have stated to say that-"

Chris Swollenballs continued to report on the scene, completely oblivious to the large rat-like creatures leaping out of the void, running amok and sinking their teeth into anything in sight.

"-and, Tom, I'm getting word now... Yes... Yes, it appears that large Human-Rat creatures are now exiting the portal and killing everything in sight. We'll try and get a shot here." Chris turned back towards the vortex to find one of the rat-men in front of him. "Oh god!" The rat-man lifted him into the air and ripped him in half, his entrails spilling all over the ground. It then started to approach the cameraman, who starts to back up.

"No no no no-"

The rat-man leaped at the cameraman, and the camera fizzled, then cut back to Tom Pusslicker at the news desk.

"We seem to be having some trouble on the field. We'll be the first to report any new developments to you during our five o'clock news hou-" Tom was cut off as an extra-buff rat-man leaped across the screen, biting into his neck and taking him to the ground. The image cuts away to a picture of a moose wearing a top-hat with the message, "Having Technical Difficulties!"

Randy Marsh turned the TV off, in disbelief.

"Oh...Oh my," Sharon said.

"Holy shit," Stan said, "does this mean Almost Human's not coming on today?"

"Stan Marsh! The town is dying, you can't worry about some stupid TV show," his mother said angrily to him. "Tell him Randy!" She looked at Randy expectantly.

"No...Almost Human?" Randy stood, looking at the ground in disbelief. "But it just started! It's not fair! It's not fairrrrr!" Randy yelled at the ceiling. He threw the remote out the window beside the front door. Little did he know, one of the rat-men was outside of their home, and it pelted him right in the head. It stood in the window, staring at them. "Oh crap," he muttered.

The rat-man squealed at them, crawling through the window. "Run!" Randy led the way towards the back door and Stan and Sharon followed. Once they exited the back door, more rat-men were running their way on all fours just ahead of them.

"This way!" Randy ran to the right and they followed. They moved through the houses back onto the street, where everyone was running around chaotically, cars crashing into buildings and telephone polls.

"Stan!" Stan turned to see Kyle coming his way.

"Dude! Where are your parents?"

"I don't know! We got separated! What the hell's going on?"

"You gahhs! You gahhs!" They all looked down the street. Cartman was running their way, or, rather, waddling very quickly their way, with several rat-men on his tail.

"Cartman! We gotta do something," Stan said.

"I say we run!" Kyle ran off in the other direction.

"I second," Randy stated, running after Kyle. Sharon then followed. Stan sighed, following them, looking one last time over his shoulder at Cartman as he is tackled and violently mauled by the rat-men.

"You f*ckin' jewssssssss," Cartman cried as they ran off.

The group continued on, coming to South Park Elementary. "We can hide in here!" Randy ran up to the school doors, trying to open it, but they were locked. "Damn it! Why's it locked?"

Mr. Garrison looked down at them from a second-floor window. They all looked up at him. "Get out of here! You're gonna bring them here!"

"Let us in Mr. Garrison! We're gonna die," Kyle pleaded.

"F*ck you kids, go find your own hiding place," Mr. Garrison said. Suddenly, Butters' dad popped up from beside Mr. Garrison.

"Yeah, get out of here!"

The group turned and ran off. When they did, Mr. Garrison and Butters' dad went back down, out of sight, making questionable noises.

"Oh god, where do we go? Where do we go?" Randy ran about, every which way, trying to think of places to hide.

"We can hide out in the mall," Kyle suggested.

"Good idea! Let's go!" Stan started to lead the way, but Kyle's mouth gaped and he pointed down the road.

"Dude!"

Stan stopped and looked at where Kyle was pointing. Down the road, a tall, extra-buff rat-man was walking around, smashing street lamps and cars, gobbling people with one gulp. Kenny could be seen, sticking his head out from a bush.

"Kenny! Come with us!" Stan beckoned to Kenny, who looked from them to the rat-man. He then took the chance and leaped from the bushes, running their way. As soon as he did, the large rat-man took notice and leaped at him. "Shit, Kenny look out!"

Kenny turned and was grabbed by the rat-man. He proceed to squeeze Kenny so hard with both hands that Kenny's insides began to squeeze out of his eye and ear holes.

"Oh my god! He killed Kenny," Kyle exclaimed.

"You bas-" Stan was cut-off as a rat-man leaped out at him, pinning him to the ground, snapping for his neck while he struggled, trying to push it off.

"Get off my son!" Randy ran up to the rat-man, punching him in the face. The rat-man squealed and ran off. Stan got up, watching him run off.

"Wow dad, you're a badass!"

"All in a day's work, now let's go!"

As they ran, a thought came to Stan's head. "Wait! Mom, Dad, where's Shelly?"

"Nobody cares Stan, just keep running," Randy said.

The group reached the mall parking lot after an unexplained amount of time. There were several people already crowded outside the entrance. Once they reached it, they realized that the people were trying to get in, but a group was already inside, holding them at bay.

"Hey, what's the big deal?" Stan approached one of the men trying to get in. He turned to him. "Excuse me, why aren't they letting anyone in?"

"They're trying to watch Almost Human by themselves!"

"What! Those bastards!" Randy joined the man in the crowd, pushing and shoving, trying to get into the mall.

"We're dead," Kyle said.

"Pretty much," Stan agreed.

A squeal from behind made everyone at the front of the mall turn. Behind them was an army of rat-men, slowly approaching them on all-fours.

"Oh god," a random lady screamed.

"We're dead! We're dead," a random man yelled.

"No!" Randy stepped out in front of the people, facing them. "We can't let these things have their way. This is our town! Our townnnn!" Randy raised a fist, and the crowd did the same, cheering. He turned and pointed towards the rat-men. "Let's kick their asses!"

The crowd ran forward. "No, dad, wait!" Stan reached forward towards his dad, but, as the crowd ran past, Randy was still in the same spot.

"Ha, dumbasses. Now let's sneak into the mall," he said, the people getting massacred by the rat-men. One of them sighted him though, running at them. It leaped onto Randy's back, chewing his neck. "Gahhh!"

"Randy!" Sharon ran forward to help her husband, but another rat-man leaped onto her, pinning her to the ground and biting her throat. She ceased to move after mere moments.

"Mom!" Stan tried to run forward, but Kyle grabbed hold of him, stopping him.

"No! You'll die too!" Kyle held Stan back, who was starting to cry. Randy was able to throw the rat-man off of himself, but his neck was spurting out blood, and he fell over to the ground. The two rat-men turned their attention to the boys, slowly coming their way. Suddenly, two gunshots came from behind, blowing the heads off of the rat-men, their bodies falling over, limp. They turned around to see Kenny's mom and dad standing in the doorway to the mall.

"We got you boys," Kenny's mom said.

"Come on in! Almost Human hasn't started yet," his father said.

Kyle started for the door, but turned to Stan, who approached his father. "Stan, we have to go inside, now!"

Stan knelt beside Randy, who was still concious. He placed a hand on Stan's shoulder, bleeding profusely, twitching a bit.

"Staaaan...Avenge meee..."

"I...I will, dad," Stan said, tears streaming down his face.

"Go... To safety..."

Stan stood, backing away from his father. The rat-men had finished slaughtering all of the other people, and started to come their way.

"Hurry Stan," Kyle called."

Stan turned and ran for the mall entrance.

"Avenge meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Randy coughed up some blood and twitched violently. "Ughhh ueghhh aughhh... ugh..." He laid there, his breathing starting to cease, and- "Uahhhhh! Gahhh, gruahhhhh!... Ugh, ugh..." … And, as his body finally lay at rest, he- "Bluahhh! Guahhhh! Bruaghaghaghaghagha! Ugh." For god's sake, he's dead.

As Stan neared the entrance, a rat-man tackled him, making him land face-first on the concrete. He tried to crawl away, but the rat-man grabbed hold of him.

"Stan!" Kyle tried to run out, but Kenny's mom and dad quickly pushed him back, blocking and barricading the door...

Then, in that moment, a bright pillar of light shot down from the sky, landing upon Stan. The rat-man squealed, running away. The light was so bright that all of the rat-men nearby covered their eyes, pained by it. Stan suddenly began to float up into the sky. He looked up, then down as he ascended into the sky.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-" Stan's voice started to fade as he got higher and higher into the sky...

And eventually disappeared.

TO BE CONTINUED

In Chapter Two: The Second Hero