Author's note: this is a songfic, the song being Ichiban no Takaramono (My Most Precious Treasure) from the anime Angel Beats. This song makes me cry, especially after I learned a dub of it. I always thought that it fit Ed's death in the 2003 anime, so I decided to write it. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or the song Ichiban no Takaramono. Enjoy! (Note that any run-on sentences were done purposely)
Ed gasped for breath, a spout of blood flying out of his mouth. With wide eyes, he saw Envy's arm disappearing into his chest, coated in dark, fresh blood. The homunculus smirked sadistically, jerking his limb out of Ed's torso. Alphonse stared on in horror, unable to do anything from the transmutation circle he was trapped in.
He didn't mean to hesitate when Envy showed him his real face, but seeing what looked like a young Hohenheim mixed with himself was too much to handle.
Quickly loosing blood, and unable to function with a gaping hole through his chest, Ed's sight began to blur as he slumped to the ground, dead.
Standing in the vast, empty white space, Ed watched Envy force his way into the Gate to the other side, to get to their father, Hohenheim. Ed was unable to do anything, a tear slowly trickling down his cheek.
When we meet our eyes, we fight endlessly.
"Gear-head!"
"Alchemy freak!"
"Unsexy automail otaku!"
"Ungrateful pipsqueak!"
"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"
But that also was, to me, a good time.
Ed sat on the Rockbell couch, sipping a cup of coffee, nonchalantly watching Winry agonize over the crushed automail arm.
"How could you, Ed? This was a work of art!"
He waved his left hand, finding secret pleasure in his mechanic's freaking out. "Yeah, yeah, all my fault, won't happen again, yadda yadda yadda."
CLANG!
Ed was draped across the couch's armrest, a large lump forming on his head; Winry stood over him, holding a slightly bloody wrench in her hands. Turning away to her workbench, a small grin danced over her face.
You were the one who taught me that and so I'm not afraid of anything
No matter how impaired I am, I know that I can grasp happiness, that is why...
"We're going to get our bodies back, right, brother?" Alphonse asked, sitting in one of the two train benches in his and Ed's compartment.
Ed pulled his notebook off of his face as he propped himself up, yawning widely. "Of course, Al. I promise, we'll get you your body back as soon as possible."
"Yours too, brother." Al insisted forcefully.
The elder Elric shrugged. "Mine is just a benefit. I can live normally with automail, you can't in that armor. Besides," he grinned broadly, "it's way easier to hurt Mustang with this!" He gestured to his prosthetic arm.
"Brother!" Al said reproachfully. Then, a thought striking him, Al would have smirked if he could. "I bet I'm taller than you when I get my body back, Ed!"
Ed spazzed out, large red tick marks appearing all over his face. "Why you little, I'm not small!"
Al laughed as Ed started yelling at him, doing his best to dodge the short blond in such a small space.
Even if I'm alone, I'll go, even if it is difficult
I'll definitely bring the dream that I had with you and pass it on.
Before the transmutation, Ed always would dream about how his mom would be so proud of him and Al, for bringing her back so they could live together as a family again. She would be there to make them breakfast, and when he or Al got a scrape she would clean it and make it better. Ed would feel like a kid again, and, as much as he loved Alphonse, not have to act like a parent to his little brother, because she could do it for him. Winry would come over sometimes, and the three of them would play lots of games, but Al would always win and be the one who would get to marry her when they were older, even though Ed kind of wanted to, and then they would all go eat at the Elric household after getting cleaned off. She'd be there to make stew for dinner, and laugh when Ed wouldn't drink his milk, then smile gently when they fell asleep and Ed pushed his shirt up, hand on his stomach. There would still be problems, and maybe he would get in trouble with the military for breaking the law, but it wouldn't matter, because she would be there, and then everything in his small world would be perfect.
I'm glad I had it with you, nobody else fits the mold;
But then when I wake up, you're not there to help me greet the day.
Ed still dreamed of his mother, of how nice it would be if she was there, but more often than not those dreams turned to nightmares. Then he'd wake up, and Alphonse'd be there; a young boy unable to have dreams, pleasant or nightmares, and stuck in such a cold, menacing suit of armor. Trisha Elric would never be there to sooth Ed again, then have him fall asleep in her arms, but he wasn't ever allowed to voice those feelings, because he at least had dreams, which was more than Al had.
I was always playing around, that's that's the kind of feeling I got.
It was just a feeling I had, I know that.
Another thing Ed never told anyone was that he liked Mustang. Not in a romantic way, but more like a dad, or maybe an older brother. He didn't exactly mind the Flame alchemist, apart from the height teasing, of course, and the visits weren't bad either. Sure, they fought a ton, and then Hawkeye had to threaten to shoot them, but sometimes Ed would drift off in a daydream, where it was possible to have Mustang as family, with Trisha right around the corner.
Ed ran into the small, two story house right outside of Risembool, pulling Winry behind him by the hand. Inside Riza was standing next to his mom, talking about the best way to cook stew. Of course Ed secretly thought his mom's was the best, but wouldn't think of mentioning it aloud, for fear of incurring Hawkeye's wrath.
"Hey, Mom, Lieutenant, how are you?"
Winry waved, then whispered in Ed's ear that she was going to find Al, kissed his cheek, and exited the kitchen. Ed pulled up a chair, then plopped down, leaning back.
"Edward, I told you, just call me Riza," Hawkeye scolded for what seemed the millionth time. "I'm marrying your brother in less than a month, and you still keep referring to me by my rank."
Trisha smiled at the thought of the future wedding plans between Riza and Roy. He wasn't her biological son, of course, but he'd been adopted into the family at her and her sons' wishes.
Ed grinned as well. "Hey, I may have quit being a dog of the military, but that doesn't mean I don't remember how you can be, which is why I hope Mustang behaves himself!"
"Talking about me, are we, Fullmetal?" Roy tipped Ed's chair back as far as it would go without falling, then a little more.
He crashed down on the floor, the wooden chair in splinters. "Geez, Mustang, thanks a lot." Ed clapped his hands, instantly repairing the chair.
Still, the two shared a smirk, with a pair of golden eyes meeting with navy blue. This was a normal occurrence in the Elric-Mustang house, and Ed wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Obviously, it could never happen. Ed would always be ready to sacrifice himself for Al's body, and that meant that he was the only family allowed. Still, it did help sometimes to think of the possibilities, even when he knew how impossible and crazy it was.
I don't regret being born into this world any more as me,
Right after the failed human transmutation, and the weeks that followed, Ed hated himself. He barely ate, barely slept, didn't talk; all he did was regret his entire existence. Then a new light came into his life again. He could get Al's body back! He wouldn't be able to go back in time to stop their sin, or erase the memory of it, but his little brother would be able to smile and eat and sleep again, just like he used to. At that point, Ed found one sole purpose for his life: do everything and anything to retrieve Alphonse's body back, and he didn't care what it took. He no longer hated himself quite do much, because soon Al would love him again, and forget about how his big brother made such a big mistake that his entire body was ripped away from him.
But like the end of festivities, it's lonely but pretty soon we've got to go...
In the back of his head, Ed pictured what might happen, should they find the Philosopher's Stone. After learning that it was made from human souls, a new idea entered his brain. He would, of course, sacrifice himself for Al, in any way, shape, or form. Al would be able to live like a normal human boy, growing up every day. Although Al would probably miss him, Ed knew that Izumi, Mustang, or Winry and Granny Pinako would let him stay with them until he got back onto his feet again. If there was a heaven, which Ed doubted there was, he would hopefully be there to watch over his brother, because it was too late to do so alive.
Anywhere in the world I'll go, with the things I learned from you all,
"All is one, one is all."
"The all is the world," "and I am the one!"
Ed, though making that one gigantic mistake of human transmutation, would always remember these words, and the lesson he had learned on Yock Island. It followed him for life, when Hughes died, when he learned about the secret of the Philosopher's Stone, always.
He remembered what Mustang had taught him as well, about fighting, and Riza, on loyalty. The messages people purposely or accidentally gave stuck in the elder Elric's mind, focusing him, leading him.
I'll show you that my happiness is one thing that even I can grant.
Even if by fate we are torn, or how far away we have to go,
Ed didn't tend to separate himself from Alphonse. On the other hand, distance often kept him and his other loved ones apart. Winry was one example of this. Ed was always busy trying to find the Philosopher's Stone, so that he and Al could get their original bodies back, but he always treasured the precious moments they spent together.
He often thought of writing her letters, detailing what he and Al were doing, the people they'd met, but he ended up either not sending them, or decide against writing at the last second. Ed knew that he and Winry were family, though they were not at all related by blood. Somehow, they were connected, through friendship and love, the space between then not mattering in the slightest.
I am going to start living in a new morning if my life.
Every morning when Ed woke up, he made sure to remind himself of his goals, and his sins. That was why he had scratched that phrase on his pocket watch, after all. Don't forget, 3 Oct 11.
Each morning was a new start to getting Al his body back, another chance to atone for his sin, and Ed made the most of those new days. He tried to live each one to it's fullest, because he never knew if it might be his last.
Even if I'm alone I'll go, even if I want to die now,
A little girl with long braids smiled up at Ed, hugging her dog around the neck. "Little big brother, I made you magic flowers!"
He reached out to her with one gloved hand when she and Alexander morphed together, to a doglike creature with a mane of fur that matched the color of Nina's hair.
"Big. . . Bro. . ther."
Ed wanted to cry out, to say he was sorry, that it was his fault, that he should have been the one splattered across the brick alley wall, but his voice wouldn't let him.
"I couldn't help you, Nina. I'm sorry. There's nothing I could do. I'm just an arrogant human that couldn't save a little girl."
It was the first time he'd done something like this in his nightmare. Normally it didn't dwell on Nina as a chimera, but skipped to his transmuted mother.
Nina/Alexander reverted to normal, once again grinning innocently up at him. "Thank you, Little big brother."
Ed watched them disappear from his mind, leaving behind a few orange flower petals, drifting in a nonexistent wind.
I can hear a voice that calls, "please don't die now it's not your time.
Somewhere, in what seemed a world away, Ed could hear Alphonse. It may have been his imagination, or just a memory of when Ed had been put in the hospital severely injured, but it broke his heart all the same.
"Brother? Please don't leave me!" Al sat next to a deeply sleeping Ed, who'd been injured going on an undercover mission for Mustang. The two of them acted as a father and son pair to investigate a ship expected to be used to smuggle illegal goods and people, but of the smugglers had recognized Ed, and threw him overboard, where he had nearly drowned.
"Please, Ed! Wake up! I don't want to live without you!" Alphonse sniffled, clutching Ed's automail hand tightly with his own.
"God, Al, I'm fine." Ed muttered weakly, then gasped for breath as Al grabbed him in a bone-crunching hug.
Al cried out weakly from the transmutation circle. "Brother? B-brother?"
Even if it is difficult, even if I cry 'cuz I'm alone,
I can feel the warmth in me, from deep inside of my heart.
All of their faces, military comrades, childhood friends, family, circled around in Ed's head.
Granny Pinako brandished milk, laughing. Winry propelled herself to him and a now human Alphonse in a hug. Izumi smiled, flipping him to the ground because 'if he didn't visit, she had to get in extra training somehow'. Sig grunted, ruffling his hair. Mustang smirked, Hawkeye smiled, Havoc waved a hello as he smoked a cigarette. Kain Furey's grateful face as Ed fixed a broken radio with the clap of his hands. Maes Hughes, brandishing a picture of his 'precious little Elicia, oh, hasn't she grown up so cute!'
Their faces, swirling around and around and around in his head.
Going 'round and 'round and flowing time is ever changing;
I can't quite remember what's happened in the past any more.
He struggled to remember more; more happy memories with Al, with Winry, with his mom, but they were slipping away. Laughing people, those he held near and dear to his heart, fading. He tried to reach for them, to pull those precious moments that proved he existed back to him, hold them close to his last moment.
They were escaping him. Fragments drifted by, no correlation whatsoever.
"Drink your milk, Ed, if you don't want to be a tiny little bean sprout all your life!"
"You've got two good legs; use them to keep moving forward."
Playing with Al and Winry as a kid. The alchemy exam. His mom, saying how amazing they were for doing alchemy so young. Distantly, very far away, a family, made of a young, brown haired woman holding a baby, her golden haired husband smiling for once, with his son, who could've passed for his double in later years, in his arms. They looked at the camera, and smiled for the happy memories to come.
But if I try and close my eyes, I can hear somebody call my name.
And for some reason now that is my most precious treasure that I hold.
"Edward!"
"Ed!"
"Edward Elric!"
"Fullmetal!"
"Brother!"
"My little man. . ."
Ed smiled softly, tears streaming down his cheeks, as he disappeared from the white, empty void.