Aged for a Thousand Years

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own the Avengers or anything Marvel related. If I did, I'd be filthy rich. (And I'd fix that awful characterization of Black Widow in Age of Ultron)

"It is not meant for mortal men." Thor stated, as Steve smelled the mixture.

"Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie! Stop trying to scare us, come on!" The elderly man remarked confidently.

The newly constructed Avengers facility rested in upstate New York. People who kept the place running worked around the building like a hive of insects constantly keeping busy. The Avengers themselves had just come from a long day of trying to help clean up one of the messes that Ultron made, and were all just grateful that they had a place to lay low. Two soldiers, a spy, a billionaire, an archer, a witch, a demigod, and a former agent all lounged about in private sitting area of the facility. Most were listening to Tony's ideas about having a celebration of sorts for their success.

"It'll be fun."

"Tony, no. Your idea of fun is not the same as everyone else's." Came an exasperated voice.

"Live a little capsicle!"

"I will live a little less with you around." Muttered Steve, but Tony chose to ignore this and challenged the soldier again.

"I'll bet Thor could drink you under the table."

"I can't get drunk." Steve shot back.

"On the contrary," The demigod spoke up from where he was sitting, and pulled out a flask from his pocket. "Asgardian mead can put any man under its spell. It's aged for a thousand years, my friend, and no mortal could withstand its powers."

"Do you want to make a bet?" Tony perked up, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Tony…" Steve sighed, with a slight smile. Tony grinned, knowing he had won. Everyone watched eagerly, but Wanda rolled her eyes, still not completely warmed up to Stark.

"Why don't we play a game? Everyone take a shot of Thor's magical mead, and the last man standing wins." Tony suggested.

"Isn't that a little subjective?" Clint remarked, as Maria nodded, while Natasha just stared at a wall. "We're up against super soldiers and demigods."

"Perhaps you're right Legolas." Tony paused and thought for a moment. He snapped his fingers a second later. "How about we watch spangles and goldilocks duel it out?"

"This ought to be good." Clint grinned. Thor shrugged thinking that it couldn't hurt, but Steve looked skeptical.

"I still don't know if this'll work…" Steve stated.

"Worst case Cap, is that we'll be bored out of our minds watching you two." Tony responded. Steve sighed and looked at Thor who shrugged again.

"Fine."

"Who wants bet?" Tony asked immediately.

"I'll do it." Rhodey offered, and paused for a moment. "My bets go on Thor, he's probably drunk a lot of this stuff. No offense Rogers."

"None taken."

"What about you Legolas?" Tony asked the archer who looked to be thinking hard.

"I bet Steve could win, higher metabolism and all…" Clint replied, and looked at Sam Wilson who sat next to him. "What about you?"

"I've seen Steve drink quite a bit. I think it's safe to bet on him."

"Maria?"

"Thor. He's probably done this before." She replied.

"Scarlet wonder?" Tony prompted, and Wanda just glared unabashedly at him. Clint, who sat on her right nudged her, and her eyes softened a bit. Without looking at Tony, she responded.

"It's hard to choose, but I'll pick Thor."

"Romanov?" Tony queried at the spy who was lost in thought. She was shaken out of her reverie when Steve touched her arm and repeated Tony's question.

"Steve." She answered without an explanation.

"Okay then. Obviously I picked Thor, so let us begin." Tony plopped down in a chair next to Thor, but the demigod stood up.

"I'll be back in a few moments, my friends." Thor stated, making everyone pause. "I'll have to make a trip to Asgard and back to collect more mead."

Another hour later, a big barrel of mead rested on the coffee table. Thor and Steve had chairs on either side of the table and had their own tumblers. Clint sat on a stool behind Thor with a notepad to count how many glasses they could take. Maria and Wanda sat next to each other on the sofa that was off to the side of both competitors. Tony, not wanting to be completely left out of the game, had broken out a pack of beers that regular-ish people could consume, and was handing them out to everybody. Rhodey waited in anticipation to see who'd win and Sam just grinned at Steve and shook his head. Natasha didn't look too interested, as her mind seemed to be somewhere else, and the rest of the Avengers avoided eye contact with her out of fear of being skinned alive.

"Bottoms up!" Tony prompted, as Thor grabbed a glass, and Steve hesitantly sniffed the brew. As soon as the mixture touched Steve's mouth, his eyebrows shot up. Thor took this as encouragement and smiled devilishly in triumph. Steve caught this look and schooled his features into a halfway confident smile.

The first few rounds didn't have any effect on the two. Glass after glass was swallowed and all that could be seen was two guys drinking with very little excitement. Clint loyally marked down each glass taken by the competitor, and the people around them started to get bored.

"I must say Steven Rogers, no man has been able to match my drinking skills." Thor proclaimed part way through the competition. "It is most impressive."

"Why's that? Did they all beat you?" Steve responded and some people chuckled. Clint went, "Oh snap!" and a few others giggled again. Thor just smiled dangerously and took another gulp.

"Barton, how many have they done?" Tony asked, and the archer counted the tallies up.

"Fifteen glasses." Clint responded casually after adding up the numbers. Sam raised his eyebrows, and whistled. Maria looked impressed, while Wanda began to look interested in the game.

"Are you ready to stop Steven?" Thor asked with a smirk.

"What, are you getting sleepy?" Steve replied with an impish grin.

Several more glasses were downed and the two didn't show signs of drunkenness. Tony was beginning to believe that the captain couldn't really get drunk, and was getting a little disappointed. Natasha sighed, and shook her head.

"This is going nowhere." She stated and Rhodey nodded in agreement.

"Don't despair my friends, Asgardians do not easily sway from this brew. Your friend Steven shall soon fall under its spell." Thor declared a little louder than he usually talked, and some people glanced up in the hopes that the mead was finally working.

"Not on your life-" Steve paused to burp. "you're no match for my super serum metabolism."

"Can we all agree that Cap seems way too overconfident?" Tony prompted and others in this group nodded.

"Cap, you sure you're okay?" Clint asked, the beginnings of a grin forming on his face. Steve faced him with a very uncharacteristic pout on his face.

"I'm fine!"

"Don't stop there! Keep going!" Maria interjected all too eagerly. The game continued for longer. With each swallow Thor provoked Steve more openly and the soldier seemed to have a higher emotional radar.

"You shall go down in conflagration, you simple mortal!" Thor declared for the umpteenth time, but it didn't stop everyone from chuckling at his antics.

"You may be a demigod, but no one can match me in drinking!" Steve said proudly. "America for the win! I'll fight until the end of the line!"

"Did he just say America for the win?" Tony asked Sam who was too busy laughing at his friend. "Cap is so very patriotic."

"At least they're still standing. At this rate, I can't tell who will win." Rhodey remarked and Maria nodded, but looked thoroughly entertained. By that point, no one seemed to care who'd win.

Several glasses later…

"I could destroy the very ground that you walk upon!" Thor declared in the loudest voice that anybody had heard as he stood up and raised his hammer, shaking it mightily. He looked rather deranged.

"Sit down Thor! We're supposed to be beating each other!" Steve stood up, using his I'm-the-captain voice, and picking up his shield to use. He pouted like a kid in a school yard.

"Cap, just sit down. There's no stopping his rants." Natasha stated, and couldn't help but smile at Steve's rather childish expression. No one on the team had ever seen either of them like this. Steve's eyes softened when he looked at her.

"You look rather pretty today Natasha. Did I tell you that yet?" Steve replied. Clint accidentally snorted on his beer as he began guffawing and started choking on his drink. Natasha turned her gaze to the floor, giving Steve an awkward smile.

"No."

"Hmm, I must've been telling it to myself again, like other days." Steve replied with a rather confused expression. Tony looked very amused, and Sam started laughing at the captain's antics. He'd never let the man live this one down.

Several more glasses later…

"Thunder willllll…. Rain down from the heavens! And uhh… strike judgements upon the foolish beings who dare oppose the mighty … Thor…" Thor stated as he stood in front of Steve's chair as he sluggishly continued to rant. "Though I might sit down… It doesn't mean that I'm losing!"

"Of course it means something! I did not waste my strength foolishly ranting about my… uh…strength!" Steve responded with a voice that should have been filled with conviction, but instead was sounding sleepy. His sentences became more and more incoherent. "I'll show you… and sock ol' Hitler on the jaw…"

"Your leg is very comfortable Steven." Thor stated as he rested his forehead on Steve's kneecap. Steve didn't seem perturbed in the least, but only glanced at Thor in a daze. He patted the demigod on the head as his own eyes began to droop.

"There there Thor… you can rest there… if only… for… a mo-… a moment." Steve trailed off, and fell silent. Everybody looked down to see Thor in the same state. His nose was turned at an odd angle due to his strange choice for a resting spot.

"Who won?" Tony asked after it was quiet for a few moments. Everybody shrugged, having not seen who'd fallen asleep first. Tony sighed, and Clint closed his notebook. Natasha stood, as did Wanda. They heard the click of a camera, and all of them turned to see Sam Wilson taking a picture of Thor and Steve sleeping and grinning madly. Sam looked up to see all of them staring at him.

"What?"

"I should have thought of that sooner." Tony shook his head and the rest of them followed suit with their cameras. Tony looked at his watch noting the late hour. "Well, I believe it's time to hit the hay."

Tony held open the door for everyone as they filed out. They left Thor and Steve where they were, not wishing to disturb them. Tony turned to see Natasha putting a blanket over Thor, kissing Steve on the cheek and giving him a tiny smile. It really was the least she, and the rest of them for that matter, could do for getting them in such a state.

Each of the Avengers fell into a deep sleep after such a nice evening, and nothing disturbed them. The night passed in the facility peacefully, but when the day broke in the sky, the loudest crash broke the silence as Thor abruptly woke, stood up, and fell back onto the coffee table, breaking it in to two. Steve followed suit by startling awake, standing and tripping, and falling down on Thor with a loud squawk.

A/N: I honestly had so much fun writing this! XD This idea came from a prompt on Tumblr by the user, otptilltheendedits, who wanted a story about Thor and Steve being tipsy. I love the bromance between Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth in their interviews. They're hilarious. I like Romanogers, if you couldn't tell, but made it a little more subtle than I originally wrote. I wrote it once, didn't like it and rewrote it again and I feel much better about this version. I hope this story does it justice. If not, at the very least, I enjoyed writing it. It was way too much fun to do! :) Please, if you have time, leave a review!