I stood there staring at Doctor Leonard McCoy. Everyone in the room had fallen silent as they brought in the lifeless body of our Captain, James Kirk. I watched as Leonard's eyes slowly welled and he turned away.

In this room, where he was a master of his craft, I had never seen him emotional. Even outside of work, he rarely showed anything other than aggravation, though I had gotten to know him well enough to see him laugh and enjoy himself occasionally.

We met at the academy, having some of the same classes. We got put into many of the same groups in class. I had been his nurse in so many simulated emergencies and surgeries that I lost count. We worked well together. So well, in fact, that he requested me on the Enterprise, which I knew was an honor.

Similar schedules made becoming study partners a no-brainer, and late nights in the library became a regular thing for us, as well as lunch between classes. Even aboard the Enterprise, when schedules allowed, we found time to talk.

I would be lying if I didn't admit that I had a crush on the man. He was a few years older than me, but I found him handsome from the moment I met him. The first time he smiled, and his dimples appeared, butterflies took over my stomach. As we got to know each other better, I sometimes got the feeling that he was flirting with me. Though, I could never be sure if he was flirting, or just teasing. He was above me in rank, and being romantically involved with a direct superior was against regulations. I loved my job too much to risk him not being interested and try to make a move, so I left us as friends and colleagues, admiring him from afar.

Now he stood unable to look at his Captain, and friend. Then I saw a look of revelation cross his face. He ordered that the Captain's body be put in cryo, then he contacted the bridge to let them know he needed Kahn's blood. It could save Jim's life. That evil bastard would be good for something. Once the medical staff was moving, I saw him slip into a small storage room, his hand running through his hair and down the back of his neck. The rest of the staff was able to carry out the orders, so I followed him and let the door shut quietly behind me.

"Dr. McCoy?"

At the sound of my voice, I saw a hand go to his eyes, then he turned around. "You should be helping out there," he said.

"They have it for now. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"Captain Kirk is your friend," I said, gently touching his arm. "I know this isn't easy for you... What do you need?"

He stared at me for a moment. I knew the look. He had gotten that look many times while we studied. If he had to really think, or if he was truly focusing on something, he got that look. I assumed he was trying to put what he needed into words, or maybe he was about to start giving me orders. What I didn't expect was for him to close the space between us and wrap an arm around my waist. His other hand was suddenly on my face and his lips were against mine. I hardly had time to think before my lips parted, almost on their own, allowing him to deepen the kiss. He backed me up against the door and pressed his body against me. My hands were in his hair as I returned the kiss, until he started his way down my neck.

"Doctor..." I said breathlessly. "I believe this is against regs."

"Screw regs," he said as he pulled away, but he kept his hands on my arms. "My best friend is dead in there, and the only shot I have is to pump him full of the blood of a psychopathic super-soldier." He leaned down a little so that his eyes were level with mine. "I've wanted to kiss you for over a year, but I didn't because of regs." His lips were on mine again for a quick, hard kiss. "Life's too short, darlin'. Jim knows he's my friend. Even when I'm a grumpy bastard... he knows. If it had been you in there instead of him, you wouldn't have known that I wanted to do this."

He kissed me again, and I whimpered. I couldn't believe any of it was happening. I wrapped my arms around his waist, trying to pull him closer, but my brain was screaming at me. He was overly emotional at the moment, and it was going to get him in trouble. I turned my head to break out of the kiss, and his lips made their way to my neck again. I grabbed his face in both of my hands and pulled him back.

"Leonard, people saw us come in here. We can't stay long. And you need to think about Jim now. He needs you."

He put his hands to my face as he nodded, and I let my hands slide down to his chest.

"I just need you to know..." he said. His voice trailed off.

"I do," I said. "We'll talk about it more after Jim is better."

I moved away from the door, and as he reached to open it, I grabbed his hand. He looked back at me in surprise, but I leaned up and kissed his lips gently.

"I want you to know, too," I said.

Those dimples. He smiled, and they appeared. We walked out together and headed straight to check on the Captain.

The next few days were extremely busy as we tended to the injured. Jim was alive, but unconscious. A lot of the crew got knocked around the ship when it lost power, myself included, but my injuries were superficial. Leonard checked me out himself. I wondered if he let his fingers linger over my bruises just a little longer than necessary, but I didn't question. He had given me my physicals before, but I always tried not to think about his hands on me. Now, alone with him behind a curtain, I let my mind wander, and I enjoyed the feeling. As his hand moved over a bruise on my cheek, I turned my head and kissed the tips of his fingers. When my eyes met his again, I saw a look I had never seen before, and it sent shivers through me. A smile slowly pulled at his lips, and he went back to taking care of me.

Jim woke. Pike's funeral was held. The Enterprise was given a new mission: five years exploration in space. I knew Leonard wasn't happy about that. I never quite understood how a man who hated space ended up in his position. His ex-wife must have been completely awful for him to feel he had to run that far.

We would be on Earth for another week making sure the ship was stocked and ready. I helped take medical inventory, listening to Leonard complain about the idea of being in space for five years with Jim as Captain. Only essential personnel were on board, so we were practically alone on the large craft. We were truly alone in medbay. He turned away from the shelf, in the middle of grouching, when I grabbed his face and kissed him. His hands sank into my hair as he kissed me back, taking charge. My back was suddenly against the wall and he pinned my hands next to my head as his lips moved down my neck.

"I knew you had skilled hands, Doctor, but no one warned me about those lips."

He kissed his way back up my jaw and captured my mouth again. His right hand let go of mine and slid down my side to my hip. He pulled me into him, and a moan came from deep inside me.

We were interrupted by a voice over the communication system.

"It is now 1750. Please finish what you are doing and depart. The ship will begin to power down at 1800."

His kiss slowed and softened before he pulled away. He stared at me for a moment before he finally spoke, his voice deep.

"Have dinner with me?"

"Sure," I said with a smile.

"My room."

I nodded and we started to wrap up with work. We made it off the ship just as it started to power down.

"I'd like to shower before I head over to your place," I said as we walked back to our building.

"No problem. Just come by when you're ready. I'll pick up some food from the cafeteria."

My mind went wild imagining what would happen that night. I had been in his room many times over the years for all-night studying, and sometimes just to hang out, so no one would think it odd. But this was different. I slipped into a comfortable pair of jeans and a t-shirt before making my way to his room.

I knocked on his door, and he answered with a smile. He stepped aside and I walked past him, into the room. Once the door was closed, he pulled me against him and stared into my eyes.

"Perfect timing," he said. "I just got back with the food."

"Good. I'm hungry."

We ate, discussing the upcoming mission. I helped him clean up after, then we sat on the sofa drinking wine. At one point, I got up to refill my glass. When I got back, he pulled me so that I sat right next to him. Our legs were touching, and he put his arm around me. I was amazed at how familiar it felt. It was as if we had sat there that way a million times.

The butterflies came back when he took my glass and set both mine and his on the small table beside the sofa. He turned back to me and put his hand on my knee before leaning in for a kiss. He lifted my legs, pulling them across his own, making our bodies closer. My nails raked through the hair at the nape of his neck, keeping his lips on mine.

I wanted to tell him that I love him. I'd loved him for a while. But I didn't want want to scare him off. He was divorced. He was closed off most of the time. Saying "I love you" might be too much.

"Leonard," I whispered against his mouth. He pulled back and looked at me. "Did you really want to kiss me for a year?"

He smiled at me. "Longer, sweetheart. Can I be kinda blunt?"

"Please."

"I've dreamt about you."

"Have you?" I could feel myself blushing, and his dimples were out in full force. He nodded, so I confessed. "I've had dreams about you, too. And not just when I'm asleep."

"Dreams like mine?" He had a wicked grin, and I could only imagine what he dreamt.

"I don't know," I said. "What kind of dreams did you have about me?"

His grin slowly faded as his hand caressed my face. He lifted my legs from his then pulled me into his lap so that I was straddling him. His hands held my head, and his thumbs gently rubbed over my cheeks.

"I love you," he said. He must have seen the surprise on my face, because he smiled and said, "Yeah... you heard me right."

I kissed him hard, unable to believe that he'd said those words, or that he felt that way.

"I love you, too."

He smiled and stood with me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me toward the bedroom, kissing him all the way. The kiss had him so distracted that he ran into the bed, and we fell onto it. With him hovering over me, holding himself up with his arms, I couldn't stop laughing. He smiled down at me.

"Very smooth, Doctor McCoy," I said.

"Hey, I never claimed to be smooth... but I bet I can get you to stop laughing."

He stood and removed his shirt and pants. My mind suddenly forgot what had been so funny, and I sat up on the edge of the bed. I ran a hand over his toned stomach before placing a kiss there. The muscle quivered and I smiled up at him.

"Is the doctor ticklish?"

"No... the nurse is dangerously close to a sensitive body part."

I let my hand slowly travel down his abs and brush over the front of his boxers. He sucked in a breath and roughly pulled my shirt over my head, flinging it across the room. He pushed me onto my back and passionately kissed my neck while he undid my jeans. His lips blazed a hot trail down to the top of my jeans before he stood to remove them from my legs. As I backed up toward the pillows, he crawled over me, like a prowling cat. He stared at me as he held himself above me, and I was completely captivated by his eyes. My hands traveled aimlessly over his body, just enjoying the feel of him. Finally, his lips took mine in a gentle kiss.

"Sit up a bit, he mumbled against my mouth.

I did as he asked, and he quickly removed my bra. I moaned as his lips made their way down to one of my breasts. He stayed there for a while, switching back and forth before recapturing my lips.

As we kissed, I felt his hand gliding down to my hip, then between us. His fingers played over the fabric between my legs and I almost lost control.

"Leonard... I need you."

"You've got me, sweetheart."

He quickly removed my underwear, then his own, and found his place between my legs. I could feel him pressed against me. He hovered over me, running his thumb over my cheek. When it brushed over my lips, I kissed it and slowly pulled the tip of it into my mouth. Our eyes were locked the whole time.

He finally pushed into me, slowly, filling me completely. I let out a long, low moan, and shivered when our bodies met. He stilled and kissed my neck, running his tongue over my skin. When I began to move my hips, he knew I was ready. He moved slowly at first, building the tension inside of us both, but that didn't last long as it became more heated.

He whispered my name, and I moaned his. We lay there in a thin sheen of sweat. He moved to my side, lying on his back, and pulled me close to him. I threw my leg over his, wanting to be as close as possible, and curled up to his chest with his arm around me.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you."

"What do we do now?"

"Well, we have two options. One, we come forward with the relationship, they transfer you to another ship, and we don't see each other for five years."

"Nope. Option two?"

"We did pretty good staying professional and keeping our feelings a secret. I think we can do it with this."

"At least we'll be together."

"Right. I can make sure we have most of the same work schedule."

"And our rooms are close together."

"Yes, they are," he said with a smile. "And, maybe... after this mission, we can talk about staying planet-side."

I leaned up onto my elbow and ran a hand over his face. "I wish we had done this sooner."

"Me, too."

We kissed for a moment before my head returned to his chest. We would have a lot to do over the next few days, and a lot to talk about over the next five years. But that moment was about us being together, and life's too short not to live in the moment.