Breaking Hearts

By: The Marauder Named Prongs

Assigned by: GOLD fish 945

A Scorpius Malfoy/James Sirius Potter Pairing

"What do you think our parents would say if they ever found out about us?"

"They'd say you're too young," James Potter replied, chuckling at himself as he rolled himself onto his stomach, propping his head up on an elbow, letting his dark hair fall into his eyes.

Scorpius Malfoy rolled his eyes and lightly knocked James upside the head. "I'm serious," the fifteen-year-old Slytherin boy said quietly. "Do you think they'd be mad?"

James shrugged, looking past Scorpius into the darkness that shrouded the emerald draperies of the Slytherin dormitory in which he lay. "I'm sure they wouldn't be too keen on it," he said nonchalantly, "But it's the twenty-first century. What are they going to do about it?"

Scorpius looked at James with something akin to awe and envy. He wished he could be more secure in himself, more confident that everything in life was going to turn out fine. James was always like that. He never seemed to mind what people thought or what they'd do if they disagreed with something he did. Scorpius was weak. He feared his family; he feared being ostracized in society. All he'd ever wanted was to be normal and make his father proud. Sleeping in a bed with James Potter was certainly not the way to make his father proud. If it weren't for James' cool attitude, Scorpius might be ashamed to be sleeping with the Gryffindor seventh year.

"My father would kill me. So would my grandparents," Scorpius said in a small voice. He knew it was true. His family would never tolerate a homosexual into their family – especially not one who was dating a boy whose family they despised. Scorpius hated how very afraid of these facts he was.

Again, James shrugged, exuding indifference. "So, don't tell them."

James enjoyed spending time with Scorpius Malfoy. At first, it had been an experiment. He had, of course, been attracted to the boy's slight frame, blond hair, and aristocratic features, but it had been about a lot more than that. James knew all about Draco Malfoy and his role in his parents' lives. He knew it was long in the past, but that did not change it. Young Scorpius, however, had never really seemed like the type of person his family told horror stories about. The stories James' father had told him about Draco Malfoy… he didn't see any of that character in Scorpius, though the boy was his son. He kept to himself and his Slytherin friends, clearly holding influence over others in his house, but he never abused the privilege gifted to him with his name. That intrigued James more than the boy's looks ever could have. It wasn't that he particularly liked the boy over others he knew, but his looks mixed with the fact that this relationship was a bit dangerous for the both of them turned James on.

Now that a habit had started between them, James was certain Scorpius was falling into some semblance of comfort and teenage love. James wasn't interested in that, but he also wasn't heartless. He'd give Scorpius his final year at Hogwarts. After he graduated, it was unlikely they would ever see each other in a not-so-innocent way again. He could handle that just fine. He hoped Scorpius could, too because he wasn't here to break hearts or to comfort little boys not strong enough to control their own emotions.

Scorpius scanned him curiously. Such a simple solution James had offered to him, yet it wasn't good enough. They both knew it wasn't good enough. "What if I want them to know?"

James quirked an eyebrow in amused interest. "Do you?"

"I…." Scorpius stammered. "I don't know." He looked at James shyly. It had only been a month or so since James had originally approached Scorpius. Bold and confident as he always was, James had walked right up to him as he sat eating breakfast at the Slytherin table. He had put a light hand on his shoulder and asked him for a word. It was the first conversation they'd ever had, probably because both of them – and everyone else – knew that their families did not enjoy each other's company. He had steered a mildly frightened and completely surprised Scorpius Malfoy out of the Great Hall and into a broom cupboard. Scorpius remembered how his heart had pounded and his hands had begun to sweat as he gripped his wand. He didn't want any trouble. He did what he could to stay out of trouble – something James and his friends didn't seem to be interested in. Much to Scorpius' surprise, James had bent down with all the confidence in the world and kissed him right on the lips. Stunned, Scorpius hadn't responded. James had chuckled. He would never forget the sound of that laugh as James opened the door, flooding bright morning light into the tiny room, giving Scorpius a glittering smile as he requested him to join him that evening in the entrance hall at seven o'clock. Unsure if he were awake or still dreaming in his emerald-covered bed, Scorpius had nodded numbly, watching the Gryffindor stroll away.

From there, things had only become more and more interesting, and less comprehensible. Scorpius had no idea what James wanted from him – no idea why any Gryffindor would want anything to do with him. James Potter of all people could only want something bad. It was in their blood to despise each other; they both knew it, yet neither of them had ever had a personal reason to. Scorpius enjoyed his time with James more than he wanted to admit, but he also assumed some ulterior motive was at work. And yet, there were times when he couldn't bring himself to face his feelings for James because they had become more than they ever should have been. The rapidity with which James had convinced Scorpius to not only trust him, but to give himself to him was frightening. The joy Scorpius found in his time with James – even when they weren't doing anything they'd rather not be caught doing – only worried Scorpius more. He knew this was nothing serious. He had always known, but his heart hadn't cared.

James shifted again on the bed next to Scorpius. He had leaned over the edge of the bed to stare at the dormitory outside of the curtain. Light snores came from all directions. Clearly, Scorpius' roommates were fast asleep. James still wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with being in the Slytherin dormitories. He had been here many times before, but never for more than a few hours, and generally, he and Scorpius were alone. Tonight, he was staying. He didn't want any sneak attacks from hell-bent, jealous Slytherins as he slept. He was in no mood to wipe Slytherin slime off the dormitory floors tonight. Satisfied with the gentle snores of Scorpius' companions, James folded himself back into the bed he shared.

"Well, do your parents know you're gay?"

Scorpius' eyes widened. "I'm not gay!" he immediately protested. James put a finger to own his lips, signaling that Scorpius should control his outbursts, before James himself fell into a pit of laughter. Scorpius' cheeks flamed.

Between laughs, James asked, "Not gay? You really think so?" Scorpius made no reply. "Because last I checked," James continued, "You and I were sleeping together. And I'm fairly certain I'm a boy." James raised his eyebrows suggestively, before lifting the sheets upon him, as though ensuring he was indeed still a boy.

Scorpius' cheeks burned brighter, not that they were visible in the darkness. "I – I know." He said, not voicing the rest of the thoughts in his head. Of course he was gay. Of course he was. He'd just never admitted it before. He wasn't ready to admit it yet. There were a lot of things he hadn't been ready for that James had introduced him to. This was yet another. Being gay wasn't something the Malfoy family took well. Scorpius remembered listening to his father when he was on one of his rants about the Potters. He had mentioned James' father's godfather, and how he had been forever disgraced because of a boyhood relationship he had carried on with another boy at school. Scorpius could vividly recall the disgust in his father's voice as he discussed Sirius Black with Scorpius' grandfather, Lucius Malfoy. Scorpius didn't want to be subjected to that hatred as well. Not from his own family.

Scorpius sat up to face James shyly, peering at him carefully. James was staring at a point on the green canopy over Scorpius' shoulder, apparently lost in his own world, though a smile still caught on his lips. "I don't know what I am," Scorpius said quietly, "But I don't like other boys. I – I never liked any boy before you."

James' head swiveled sharply, his eyes scrutinizing Scorpius' entire demeanor. Was the boy screwing with his head? It didn't appear so. "Scorpius," James said in a voice caught between exasperation and pity. He had never wanted to break the boy's heart, but Scorpius was taking this too far. This was not some whirlwind romance where Scorpius and James would sail off into the sunset together. Things like that didn't happen. Not between feuding families, and especially not between two men. This wasn't a Shakespeare play. It was real life, and James would be leaving school in just a few short months. He and Scorpius would never see each other in this setting again. Scorpius had to understand this.

Scorpius dropped his gaze, knowing he'd said too much.

James grasped the Slytherin's chin firmly, tilting his face back up lightly. "Scorpius," he said in a much gentler tone. "You know I'm leaving soon." Scorpius nodded, still not meeting James' gaze. "I enjoy my time with you," James continued, willing Scorpius to look him in the eye. He had to understand. "But we're not dating. We aren't ever going to be together. That's – that's just how it's got to be."

Finally, Scorpius looked into James' face. His expression had hardened. "Why has it got to be that way?" he demanded, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. "Why can't we be together?"

James only just suppressed the eye-roll threatening to surface. He felt like beating his head against a wall. Scorpius wasn't that much younger than him. Why couldn't he just understand?

"Because!" James said, frustrated as well, "That's not what this was ever meant to be. We're just having fun! Aren't you having fun?" Scorpius nodded slowly. "Well, why can't that be enough?"

Scorpius made no reply, one of his fingers picking uncomfortably at the bedcover beneath him. Finally, he shrugged. "I like you," he said, as if that were all the explanation necessary.

"I like you, too," James confirmed, grabbing Scorpius' hands and pushing the boy back onto the mattress. James hovered over him for several seconds, watching the boy's eyes move across his face in a fashion that looked nervous and unsure. "Isn't that enough?"

Before the young Slytherin could answer, James swooped down upon him, pressing him onto his back, his hands pinned behind his head by James' own. James stretched over the entire expanse of Scorpius' body, pressing into him in the places where it really mattered. He plunged his tongue into Scorpius' mouth, exploring as he had done on so many previous occasions. After several minutes of their intense war of the tongues, James released Scorpius' hands, loving how they immediately ran down the sides of his body to settle just below his arse. He loved this. He loved having Scorpius beneath him. He didn't want to do anything that might ruin it, but he couldn't be what Scorpius wanted him to be, either. Things just had to stay as they were. They had to stay like this – attached at the lips and hips. Nothing more.

When James released him, he hoped Scorpius would have forgotten about their previous conversation. Scorpius knew this as well, so he didn't mention it again. In his mind, however, he had not forgotten James' words. Nor had he forgotten his own feelings. At another time, he would have to reopen the subject. Tonight, he knew, was not the night. James was thankful for the silence as he rolled himself off of Scorpius, throwing an arm over his waist as he prepared to fall asleep.

For now, at least, James and Scorpius could continue their relationship – whatever it was – without the threat of breaking hearts and guilty feelings. That was all James could ask for.