Disclaimer
Buffy vs. Jason is a crossover story between the television series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and the "Friday The 13th" movie franchise (obviously). Buffy's part in the story takes place during the months between Season 4 and Season 5. So Buffy and Riley are still together, they had just defeated the demonic cyborg Adam, and the monks haven't yet sent The Key to Buffy in the form of a kid sister. As for Jason, the story takes place in between Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood and Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. Believe it or not, the timelines actually match up almost perfectly thanks to the five year time jump between Friday the 13th and Friday the 13th Part 2, the six year time jump between Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and the ten year jump between Jason Lives and The New Blood.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer is the creation of the genius, Joss Whedon. Copyrights to the show and all of its characters are the exclusive property of Mr. Whedon and his company, Mutant Enemy Productions. Copyrights for the comic book adaptations of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all related characters belong to Dark Horse Comics. The copyrights to the movie that started it all belong to 20th Century Fox.
Friday the 13th and the character of Jason Voorhees are the creations of producer Sean Cunningham and writer Victor Miller. Copyrights to the movie and characters are owned by Paramount Studios. Copyrights to the comic book adaptations of the movie and its characters are owned by Dynamite Entertainment comics.
I own nothing but the stories in my head. This story was written as an expression of my love for both franchises, not for profit. I have made no money off of the writing of this story, nor from sharing it with others. As such, no copyright laws have been violated, intentionally or otherwise. Please don't sue me. I am very poor and would not be able to pay any restitution, even if ordered to do so by a judge.
However, if any of the above mentioned people should wish to produce my story in some other medium, a comic book or animated film for example, I would be more than happy to allow such an undertaking in exchange for a fair share of the royalties from all copies sold.
BUFFY vs. JASON
Chapter One
Joyce Summers watches with satisfaction as Buffy's new boyfriend, Riley Finn, finishes his second helping of dinner. This is the first time Buffy had ever invited him over for dinner, so she went all out with the meal. Pot roast, mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, gravy, carrots au gratin, and a nice fresh garden salad (made from vegetables grown in her own garden no less). Riley uses a Yorkshire pudding to mop up the last of the gravy on his plate as he finishes the last bites of his meal.
"Another helping Riley?" she offers in her most motherly voice.
"No thank you, Mrs. Summers," says Riley, "One more bite and I'll burst."
"Well I'm glad to see Buffy has found herself a man with a good appetite," replies Joyce.
"Fighting demons works up quite an appetite," he says.
Joyce gets noticeably tense at the mention of demons. It's been two years, almost to the day, since she had learned that Buffy was The Slayer. It took her a while to wrap her head around the fact that demons, monsters, and vampires are real. And she still doesn't like the fact that Buffy goes out and fights them on a nightly basis. She knows that Buffy can take care of herself. Plus she has her friends, Xander, Willow, that nice Tara girl that joined their little circle of friends. Even that Anya girl that Xander has been dating helps out. And Rupert, or Giles as the kids call him, is a pretty capable monster fighter. And now this Riley boy, a trained soldier no less. But she's a mom. It's her job to worry.
"Riley," says Buffy, "We promised Mom no shop talk tonight. Tonight we're not Slayer and former Agent Finn. We're just Buffy and Riley, visiting Mom for Sunday dinner."
"You're right," agrees Riley, "Sorry, Mrs. Summers."
"That's okay, Riley," says Joyce, "I know the slaying is a big part of your lives. But it is nice to take a break from it now and then."
"Oh the joys of living on a Hell Mouth," says Buffy in her usual sarcastic way.
"Come on, you two," says Joyce, happy for an opportunity to change the subject, "Let's take our after dinner tea in the living room."
"Yorkshire pudding for dinner? After dinner tea?" says Buffy, "Mom, you've been hanging around Giles way too much."
"Oh hush," says Joyce with a laugh, "It's too late in the day for coffee. I'll be up all night with that much caffeine. Besides, it's nice to spend time with someone my own age"
"Just as long as you two haven't kept any of the band candy," says Buffy.
"Band candy?" asks Riley. He hadn't heard this particular story from her life as The Slayer.
"Trust me," says Buffy, "you don't want to know."
"I'll take your word for it," says Riley.
"You know, I think I may have a box of Double Nut Fudge left in my closet," says Joyce.
"Don't. You. Dare!" says Buffy in a horrified voice.
"I'm just kidding," says Joyce with a laugh, "You two go make yourselves comfortable. I'll be in with the tea just as soon as I'm done clearing the table."
"Oh I can do that for you Mrs. Summers," says Riley, as he begins gathering up their dinner plates.
"Why thank you Riley," says Joyce.
"Pssst, Riley," says Buffy in a mock whisper, "She already likes you. You don't have to suck up anymore."
"My daughter, the comedian," says Joyce sarcastically.
"Learned from the best," laughs Buffy with a wink.
Buffy joins her mom and Riley in clearing the dishes. Then the three of them gather up the silver tea set and adjourn to the living room. In addition to the tea, there is a plate of home-made chocolate chip cookies. Despite being full, Riley politely accepts a cookie to go with his tea.
"These cookies are delicious, Mrs. Summers!" says Riley.
"Thank you, Riley," she replies, "I made them myself. It was Ted's recipe."
"Ted's recipe?" says Buffy in surprise, "Ted's?"
"Well, minus the roofies of course," says Joyce.
"I don't get it?" says Riley, "Who's Ted?"
"Oh, just the homicidal robot that dated my mom and tried to kill me!" says Buffy.
"Well, yes he was that," admits Joyce, "But he was also one hell of a chef. And just because he was evil doesn't mean I can't use his recipes."
"And who did you get the recipe for the pot roast from?" asks Buffy, "Jeffrey Dahmner?"
"Don't be ridiculous," scoffs Joyce. Then after a dramatic pause she grins mischievously and says "It was Ed Gein."
"Mother!" says Buffy in shock.
Riley can't help but laugh at the banter between his girlfriend and her mother. Joyce sees that she's pushing Buffy's sense of humor a little too far, so she decides to change the subject again.
"So do you two have any plans for school break?" she asks them.
"Actually Mrs. Summers," says Riley, "I'd like to take Buffy to my family's cabin in New Jersey for the weekend. With your permission, of course."
"I thought you said you were from Iowa," says Joyce.
"I am, but we have relatives all over the country," replies Riley, "My uncle lives in New Jersey. He owns a cabin out by Crystal Lake. We used to go visit him out there every once in a while during the summer when I was a kid. It's great. And it'll give us a chance to get away from The Hell Mouth for a while."
"I don't know," says Joyce, "New Jersey is an awful long ways away. How are you planning to get there?"
"Fly," says Riley, "I've had my pilot's license for a few years now. One of the benefits of being in the military. I've reserved a plane to take us to Jersey City. From there we'll rent a truck and drive out to Crystal Lake."
"And what about your slaying?" she asks Buffy.
"Mom, I'm only going to be gone for a week," says Buffy, "And after Adam's little assault on The Initiative headquarters most of the demons in town are either dead or trapped down there. Giles and the Scoobies can handle the run of the mill evil until I get back. Heck, ever since he found out that the chip in his head doesn't work against demons, even Spike will be able to help out. Well, for a price anyway."
"I don't know . . ." says Joyce.
"Mom, I'm in college now. I don't need your permission. Riley's just being his old fashioned, polite, country boy self."
"I'm teasing, Buffy," says Joyce, "Of course you have my permission to take my daughter to a cabin in the woods. My permission and my blessing."
"Thanks Mom," says Buffy with a hug, "You're the best."
"I know," says Joyce, "But it's always nice to hear."
After tea and cookies, Riley calls for a cab. When it arrives, Joyce sees Buffy and Riley to the door. She gives Buffy a hug and shakes Riley's hand goodbye.
"Thanks again for a lovely meal Mrs. Summers," says Riley, "It was excellent. You could give my mom a run for her money in the kitchen."
"Why thank you, Riley."
"Yeah, thanks for dinner Mom," says Buffy, "I gotta go home and pack."
"You're both very welcome," she replies, "Be safe."
"We will!" calls Buffy as she and Riley run to catch the taxi that was waiting for them.
The two of them head off back to their dorms to pack their bags. The next morning, Riley shows up at Buffy's door with an olive green duffle bag. Willow and Tara are there seeing Buffy off. When Buffy sees Riley at the door, she rushes over and gives him a kiss hello.
"You ready to go?" he asks.
"Just about," she replies. Then she looks down at his luggage and giggles.
"What?" he asks innocently.
"You can take the boy out of the army . . ." Buffy begins.
"Hey," Riley interrupts her, "these bags were designed for withstanding a lot of wear and tear. Besides, we're going to be camping out in the woods. What do you expect me to bring? Gucci leather suitcases?"
"Here you go Buff," says Willow as she hands Buffy a nice leather suitcase, "Your Gucci leather bag."
"Thanks Will," says Buffy as she takes the suitcase. Then she picks up the bags identical twin. "I'm ready," she says.
"Jeez Buffy," says Riley, "We're only gonna be gone a week. What are you bringing?"
Buffy lifts up the suitcase in her left hand. "This one's clothes," she says, then lifts the other suitcase, "And this one's full of weapons."
"Umm, Buffy?" says Tara, "It's actually the other way around."
"Right," says Buffy, "Either way, I'm coming prepared."
"And what makes you think you're gonna need all that stuff?" asks Riley.
"Hey, whenever I don't have any weapons with me is when the monsters always want to attack," Buffy tells him, "I'm not going to be caught unprepared out in the middle of nowhere."
"Actually," says Riley, "I was talking about the clothes. I don't see you wearing them very much this week."
"Oh really," says Willow with a knowing smile.
Riley gets a little flustered. "I mean we're going to be at a lake," he says, "She'll probably be wearing her swimsuit most of the time. You know . . . Swimming, water skiing, stuff like that."
"Uh-huh," laughs Willow, "Sure, sure."
"Let's go Mister Covert Ops," says Buffy as she leaves her dorm room, "I can't believe you actually used to get paid for being sneaky. You're terrible at it."
"I can't help it," Riley replies as he rushes to catch up with his girlfriend, "My mom raised me to be honest."
They hear Willow and Tara laughing all the way down the hall as they leave for their vacation. They catch a cab and head over to the Sunnydale Airport. They head over to the hanger where the private planes are kept. Buffy follows Riley's lead as he heads towards the plane he had reserved. They walk past several private jets and nice double engine planes until they get to a dinky little single engine Cessna.
"We're flying all the way to New Jersey in that?" exclaims Buffy.
"Well, we'll have to set down a couple of times between here and there to refuel," says Riley, "but yeah."
"Couldn't you get anything a little more . . . well . . . more?"
"How much money do you think Initiative soldiers got paid?" he asks her, "This is the best plane I could afford. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. And besides, it's a lot cheaper than buying two tickets on a commercial airline."
"I swear," Says Buffy as she puts her bags in the back of the plane, "If you crash this thing, I'm gonna kill you."
"Don't worry," he replies with a laugh, "I crash better than anyone I know."
Riley puts his own bags into the back of the plane. He and Buffy climb in. They take off and manage to fly all the way to Jersey City without incident. They rent a pickup truck from one of the local dealerships, but decide to spend the night at a motel rather than go straight to Crystal Lake. It was late, it was a really long flight, and they were both very tired. The next morning they stop for a nice breakfast at the local IHOP, then head out to the Finn Family Cabin.
It's a much farther drive than Buffy had anticipated. They end up having to spend the night at a local Bed & Breakfast. The couple who ran the place were incredibly friendly and the place had a nice "old world charm" to it. Once again, right after breakfast, they drive off to Crystal Lake. They pass through the town of Crystal Lake late in the afternoon. As they stop for gas, Buffy notices some of the signs around town say Forrest Green. Curious, she walks over to a local and asks him about it.
"They thought changing the name would keep . . . him away," he says.
"Him who?" asks Buffy.
"We don't say his name out loud," says the stranger, "Those who do are doomed. Doomed!"
"Dammit RJ, leave that girl alone!" shouts another man who comes over and chases the first man away. "Goddamn nuisance! Just like his dad, that crazy bastard! You okay miss?"
"I'm fine," says Buffy, "What was that all about?"
"Aw, nuthin'," says the local, "He's just the town nut. He's harmless, just a pest. His ol' man was the same. Ol' Ralph was crazy as a loon, always goin' on about Crystal Lake bein' cursed. Now Junior there's caught the bug. Goddamn nuisance!"
"Curse?" says Buffy, a little more on edge now that it sounds like The Hell Mouth might have followed her here.
"Ah, don't you be worryin' your pretty little head about it Miss . . . um . . . Miss . . ."
"Summers. Buffy Summers."
"Well Buffy, I'm Enos. Nice to meet you," he says, "Now like I was sayin', there ain't nothin' to worry about. We had us some local trouble some years ago, but that's long past. Today here at Crystal Lake we're safe as houses. Trust me. Where y'all headed anyway?"
"My uncle has a cabin out by the lake," says Riley as he moves to stand next to his girlfriend, "Hi. I'm Riley Finn."
"Finn, eh?" says Enos, "I know your uncle. Good man. He gonna be comin' out?"
"Nope," says Riley, "Just us, my cousin, and a few of his friends."
"Little Johnny's gonna be there?" asks Enos.
"He's not so little anymore," replies Riley, "But yeah."
"Well you be sure to tell'im Ol' Enos says 'Hi'."
"Will do, sir," says Riley.
Buffy and Riley go into the convenience store and pick up a bunch of groceries, a case of beer, and pay for it all along with their gas. As they drive off, they see RJ standing on the street corner, watching them as they go by.
"You're doomed!" he shouts at them, "You're all doomed!"
"That guy gives me the wiggins," says Buffy as they leave town and head towards the lake.
"Junior's been shouting about us all being doomed practically my whole life," says Riley, "He hasn't been right yet."
"I'm just glad I came prepared," says Buffy.
"The only thing you need to be prepared for, is a fun filled weekend with your boyfriend."
"And I am," says Buffy, "I brought everything from my skimpiest bikini to my sharpest axe. I have enough condoms to stop a speeding bullet, and enough crossbow bolts to drop a charging rhino. I'm prepared for every eventuality."
"Well the only thing you're gonna have to use that axe on this weekend is firewood."
"I'd better. This is supposed to be my vacation."
They drive out to the cabin. By the time they get there it's already starting to get dark. There are already a couple of other cars parked next to the cabin. Riley parks the truck next to them and cuts the engine. As he and Buffy exit the truck a bunch of people come out of the cabin to greet them. They all appear to be about the same age as Buffy and Riley. One of them, a dark haired young man, comes over and gives Riley a big brotherly hug.
"Riley! How've you been?" he asks.
"Hey Johnny! I'm doing good, how about you?'
"Not bad, not bad," he replies, "And it's just 'John' now, okay? Nobody's called me 'Johnny' since Junior High."
"Okay, John," says Riley, "I want you all to meet my girlfriend. Everyone! This is Buffy! Buffy, this is my cousin John and his girlfriend Debra."
"Hi, nice to meet you," says Buffy as she shakes hands with John and Debra.
"This here is his best friend, Wes."
"Hi," she says as she shakes Wes's hand.
"And I don't know anyone else, so everyone else will have to introduce themselves!"
Everyone gets a good chuckle out of that. "This is my girlfriend, Heather," says Wes, indicating a beautiful young brunette. Buffy shakes Heather's hand.
"Hey," she says.
"This here is my good friend Robert, and his girlfriend Jamie Lee."
Robert, a redhead, and Jamie Lee, a blonde, both shake Buffy's hand, and they exchange hello's.
"And last but not least, are our dear friends Betsy and her girlfriend, Amy."
"When you say girlfriend," says Buffy, "Do you mean girlfriend? Or do you mean girlfriend?"
"Well if by girlfriend, you mean are we gay?" says Betsy, a beautiful athletic girl with short black hair, wearing a pair of extremely short shorts and a crop top with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it, "Then the answer is, yes we are. Why? Do you have a problem with that?"
"Who me?" asks Buffy, "Not at all. In fact my best friend in the whole world just realized she was gay. Her name's Willow. Maybe you know her?"
As soon as she said that, Buffy regretted it. How stupid could I be?She scolds herself silently. Willow's in California, this girl's obviously local. Of course they don't know each other!
"Oh right," says Betsy, "Gay Willow from California. We're old chums. Like this." And she holds up two crossed fingers.
"I'm sorry," says Buffy, "I don't know why I said that. That was really dumb."
"Don't worry about it," says Amy as she comes up to Buffy and gives her a warm hug hello, "Betsy's a little on the sensitive side. If it makes you feel any better, I just recently came out too."
"Oh. Well that's great," replies Buffy, "Good for you."
"Well, actually I'm bisexual," adds Amy, "So if you and your boy toy here ever want a third . . ."
"Amy!" shouts Betsy.
"I'm only kidding, Mon Petite Chou," Amy calls back to her. Then she turns back to Buffy and silently mouths, "No I'm not. We'll talk."
"You've got some interesting friends," Buffy half whispers to Riley as she goes to get her stuff out of the bed of the truck.
"I'm sure they'll think the same thing about your Scooby Gang if they ever meet them," Riley whispers back.
"Scooby Gang?" says Wes, as he happens to be within ear shot.
"Never mind," says Riley, "It's a long story. Come on. We've brought party supplies."
"Awesome!" Exclaims Wes, and he and Heather help carry in the groceries.
As they enter the cabin, Buffy turns to John, "By the way, Enos sends his regards."
"Oh, you met Enos?"
"Yeah, we bumped into him in town. He seems like a pretty nice guy."
"Yeah, his family have been living in Crystal Lake practically since it was first founded way back when. I think the only family that's lived here longer is Crazy Junior's family. They're part native, so they're Native Indian ancestors lived here long before the white folks ever showed up."
"I think I met him too," says Buffy, "His names RJ?"
"Ralph Junior," explains John, "Or RJ for short. His daddy was the town crazy, and the town drunk. I guess the apple don't fall far from the tree."
"Yeah," says Buffy, "I guess." Changing the subject, Buffy asks John, "So where can I put my stuff?
"You can put it in Riley's old room. It's up the stairs, last door at the end of the hall. Here, let me help you with that."
Before Buffy could stop him, John reaches out and grabs her suitcase full of weapons. The bag drops to the floor and practically drags John down with it.
"What the hell have you got in there?" asks John, "Bricks?"
"Ummmm, beauty supplies," says Buffy thinking quickly, "You know. Make up, hair dryer, hair curler, body lotion, stuff like that. Even in the woods, a girl's gotta look her best for her man."
"I think you over packed," says John, "For one thing, I hardly think you need any beauty treatment, let alone a whole suitcase full."
"That's what I keep telling her," Riley pipes in, "But she's a stubborn one."
"Look, I prefer to carry my own bags," says Buffy, and she grabs her suitcase and lifts it with ease. Everyone looks at her like she's grown a second head. "Oh, um, radioactive spider bite. Next thing you know I'll be climbing the walls."
With that she climbs up the stairs and disappears down the hall. John walks over to Riley and puts his arm around his shoulders. "Dude, your girlfriend's kinda weird," he says, "Incredibly hot, but kinda weird."
"Yeah," says Riley, "but I like her that way."
He slings his duffle bag over his shoulder and heads up to his old room. He finds her in there, staring at an old poster of Captain America that Riley had coloured in himself as a kid. She turns to look at him as he sets his stuff down.
"Captain America, huh?" she says, "It figures. Nice room."
"Hey, I haven't been up here since I was twelve, okay?"
"Uh-huh, a likely story."
"Anyway, you'd better tone down your . . . um . . . Slayerness. We've been here all of ten minutes and they already think you're weird."
"Boy, that must be some kinda record. When we moved to Sunnydale it took me nearly a whole day to develop that kinda reputation."
"Look, we're supposed to be here to get away from all of that. Remember?"
"You're absolutely right," Buffy agrees, and she walks up and wraps her arms around his muscular torso and rests her head upon his chiseled chest, "From now on, no more weirdness. I'm just gonna concentrate on you, and me, and our big comfy . . . uh, Riley? Where's our bed?"
"Oh, right over here," he replies as he untangles himself from her grasp and walks over to the wall. He pulls aside a Japanese room divider and reveals a hammock hanging on a hook in the wall."
"A hammock?" says Buffy incredulously.
"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."
"Oh I'm gonna be knocking something alright!" she says.
"Our boots?"
"Maybe later," she replies, "First I'm gonna knock your head into the wall!"
Then they both laugh and join together in a passionate embrace. Outside, a dark figure watches from the bushes as the light in the bedroom window goes out.
Ki-ki-ki-ki-ki . . . Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma . . . Ki-ki-ki-ki-ki . . . Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma