AN/ So, it's been awhile since I've written any fan fiction. I might be a little bit rusty, so don't flame me too badly.
The Trouble with Eggs
Chapter 1: The Assignment
An older woman stood at the front of a classroom, tapping her foot impatiently. The students seated before her didn't even seem to notice her presence. They would regret this. She could guarantee they would regret this. She was their teacher; she could make do anything she wanted. The teacher smiled, and dragged her nails across the blackboard. The students cried out in pain and held their hands over their ears.
The woman smiled, almost cruelly, and said, "Good. Now that I've got your attention, I can tell you about your new, fun assignment." The students groaned, and the teacher simply laughed. "Oh, you're all so funny. You think groaning and moaning will get you out of this. It won't, though- not out of this. You have one minute to partner up with someone of the opposite sex. And that minute starts," she glanced at the clock, "about twenty-three seconds ago."
There was a mad scramble towards boy-girl matches inside the room, and the teacher was tempted to take cover under her desk. By the end of the minute they had all found partners successfully. The teacher smiled and walked behind her desk to the mini-fridge most teachers kept. She pulled out a dozen eggs and sat them on their desks. "Alright, so, you've chosen your partner. I hope you like them, because you're about to have a child with them. Congratulations. You're all now official parents of egg-children."
She quickly passed them out to the new parents, and also handed out a worksheet to go along with it. "That right in front of you is your child's birth certificate. Name it, pick the gender, make up a birthday, and list both of your names. After that, I have more worksheets that you'll need.
Sango Taijiya was not someone to be messed with. She walked down the nearly empty school hallway like she owned it. Everyone thought of her as a bad ass, and stayed well away from her. Well, mostly everyone; one of the few exceptions was Miroku Houshi. He thought he was god's gift to women; people treated him like that, too.
Currently, he was walking in front of her, sipping on some alternate form of coffee from Starbucks. Sango had to restrain herself from yanking that annoying rattail of brown hair, and thrashing him against the wall. He had somehow managed to annoy her by drinking. How was that even possible?
Somehow, he'd managed to do it, though. Walking behind him made her realize just how tall he was. What was he, six feet? Well, it was something close to that. I didn't really matter, though. Soon, she would be able to return to her own little bubble of disappointment, and drift off during class. Stupid pretty-boy.
Miroku Houshi was god's gift to women. That's what he thought, anyway. He just had a way with women; sometimes, he swore it was the ponytail. Then again, maybe it had something to his gray eyes; girls loved those for some reason. Not Sango, though.
The resident bad ass just did not like him, for some reason. Then again, he didn't really care for her much either. Maybe it was because she knew she could never have him… Yeah, that was probably it.
He took another sip of his fat-free, mocha, frapachino, and sighed. If she'd take her hair out of that stupid high-ponytail every now and then, she could probably pass for decent. But no, Sango was far too busy to being pissed off at the world to care what other people thought about her. Didn't she realize that image was everything? Stupid punk.
Miroku opened the door to the classroom, Sango not far behind. Kyu- Sensei gave the two of them a stern look, and handed the boy an egg. He gave her a questioning look. "Thanks, Kyu- sensei, but I already had breakfast." The teacher simply gave a cruel smile.
"Ah, Sango and Miroku; my two favorite, frequently-late students. I think this is going to be fun. You see, this is what you get for being late. Had you been on time, you would have been able to choose your own partners, but you weren't. So, now you're stuck with each other. And that," Kyu- sensei said, pointing down at the egg in Miroku's hand, "is the child you'll be raising together."
The two glanced at each other and sighed heavily. Sango shifted the weight of her messenger bag strap, and questioned, "Until when? When is it over?" She spoke of it like she was about to go off to war, with no hope of return. Miroku nodded eagerly; he wasn't looking forward to this.
Kyu-sensei chuckled, amused at their torment. "The Harvest Moon Festival; that's your date. If your egg gets broken, it's an automatic F. Don't try to replace it, if you do, either. The bottom is marked with a little stamp that I keep in my desk. Now take this and fill it out." She handed them their birth certificate cheerily.
"But that's a month away!" Miroku cried. Sango begrudgingly took the paper, and sulked off to her desk. Miroku finished off his drink and threw it away; he then followed after Sango. Sango pulled a pencil out of his backpack and looked over the paper.
As Miroku sat down, Sango questioned, "Would you prefer our kid to knock someone up, or get knocked up?" Miroku gave him a strange look, and she sighed heavily at his stupidity. She tried again. "Should our egg be a boy or a girl?"
Miroku rolled her eyes, and said, "Well, I would definitely rather have a boy. He could grow up to be just like me!" He grinned widely at his own statement. Sango just chuckled and shook her head in response. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.
"Alright, but I get to pick the name, since you picked the sex." Sango replied as he bubbled in the 'male' answer on the birth certificate. Miroku stuck out his lip in protest, but Sango gave a skeptical look. "That's really not gonna help. I'm picking the name, whether you like it, or not."
Miroku stuck out his tongue at her, and she laughed quietly. "Fine, just be that way. If I were you, I'd be careful. I just might divorce you, and give you full custody of little egg-head over there." Miroku said with a small bit of contempt.
"Oh, make any more threats like that, and I just might have to make you sleep on the couch." Sango threatened teasingly, making Miroku chuckle as well. They sat back there for awhile, trading witty and semi-witty banter back and forth. Finally, Sango picked out a name. "We'll call him Kyo Egg- Head Houshi."
Miroku's face turned into one of shocked sadness. "That's just cruel. My son would not have an egg-shaped head. He would be dashing, like me." He looked down at the egg in between his fingers. "Of course, calling him an egg-head might be a compliment, at this point." The boy frowned sadly at the egg.
Sango laughed again, hiding his smile behind his arm. "And I'm the mean one?" She questioned, and carefully took the egg from him. Reaching into her backpack with her other arm, she retrieved a black Sharpie marker, and started drawing on the egg. After a minute, or so, she handed the egg back to her. Miroku chuckled again; Sango had drawn a little anime face on their egg.
"Alright, time to pay attention again!" Kyu-sensei yelled. Silence fell over the room, and heads turned towards her. "Good. Now, for starters, you'll need to buy a disposable camera. Why will you need this camera, you ask? Well, you see, a child needs to be nurtured, and cared for. That means quality, family time. From this point on, your partner will constantly be by your side, along with your egg. You'll be required to have a family photo taken every day; that's twenty five pictures. The last five days will be a bit different…
"During those five days, you'll make a scrapbook. Each page of your scrapbook will include a few sentences about the picture, and what your family did that day. For extra credit, you can find a video camera and film what a holiday would be like. Keep in mind, this project is a large part of your grade. Now, take the rest of the time to discuss with your partner."
"So, do you think you could take the egg home this weekend?" Miroku said with a charming smile. Sango rolled her hazel eyes. Fun-time was over, and she had a feeling pretty boy was about to come back with a vengeance. "First, we can do the picture thing, and go get lunch, or something. But after that, could you take it home? I swear, I'll take it next weekend, but I've got a date tonight. An egg kinda cramps my style."
Sango slouched back in her seat, and stored her things in her backpack. "Whatever. I'll just put it in the fridge at work. It's no problem." She picked up the egg with a heavy sigh.
"Ah, Sango, you're truly wonderful." Miroku said, with a smile of gratitude, not noticing the change in Sango's mood. "I'll meet you at Yoko's Sushi at two, ok?" With that said, Miroku stood up, and meandered over to his group of jock friends; they were all on the baseball team.
"Dude, that sucks! You got stuck with the school bitch." One of his friends commented loudly, giving Miroku a sympathetic look.
"She's really not that bad." Miroku murmured, throwing Sango a look of sorrow. She could hear them. They were all being asses. Sango never did anything to them. He plastered on a plastic smile, and added, "But I guess this what I get for being late."
Another friend gave him a skeptical look, "Miroku, no one deserves that kind of punishment. Her only friend is the anger management kid. What does that tell you?"
'What an ass. Inuyasha isn't that bad. I mean, yeah, he has a temper, but so does everybody. He just expresses it more than others…' Sango thought to herself, defending her friend, in her head. Stupid pretty-boy; he thinks he can do whatever he wants. He's just as fake as every other jock in this school.
She really should have known better than to start trusting the jerk. Really, it was her own fault for thinking that anyone, besides Inuyasha, would actually like her as a person.
Sighing heavily, Sango tapped her foot against the floor, waiting for the lunch bell to ring. Her stomach was starting to rumble.
"You're seriously canceling on me?" Miroku demanded incredulously. "Isn't this just rich? You've been after me all year to go out with me, and you're ditching me for Kouga?" He leaned heavily against his locker, waiting for an answer.
Ayame shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, Miroku, but I've liked Kouga forever. And finally, he dumped Kagome. I had to jump at the chance; otherwise, someone would beat me to it. I'm really sorry. Maybe another time, Miroku." With that, the girl jogged down the hall towards Kouga. Miroku tilted his head to the side, watching her ass as she walked away.
"Bitch…" He muttered, slamming his locker door closed. Anger coursing through his veins, he swung his keys around his finger and went to find Kagome. If Kouga had broken up with her, she'd be a wreck. He couldn't leave his best buddy alone in her time of need.
"Inuyasha, this sucks! I don't wanna hang out with Miroku. He's such a player, and I don't like him!" Sango shouted, jumping up on the hood of a car in the schools' garage.
"Relax, Sango. He can't be that bad. How long's the project, anyway?" The boy questioned, adjusting his red beanie on his head, protecting the top of his long, black hair. He also wore a pair of baggy jeans, and wife beater shirt. His over shirt was lying in a pile of grease somewhere, most likely.
Sango lay down against the cool metal of the hood as Inuyasha slid underneath the car. "A fucking month! Kyu-sensei's a crazy bitch…" Sango ranted, slamming a fist against the hood of the red Honda CRX.
"Sango, I don't what you problem is; don't hit my car. I've killed people for less." Inuyasha replied in a muffled voice, and slid back out from under it. "And, yeah, Kyu-sensei's crazy. Everyone knows that. It's like a fact of life, or something."
"Relax; your car's fine. This is brutal, though. We don't like each other, and we shouldn't have to work together. It's as simple as that!" The girl retorted, sliding off of the hood, and pacing along the garage.
"Maybe if you hadn't been late-" Inuyasha started, but Sango instantly cut him off.
"Bullshit, Inuyasha. You know I had to work. I don't make enough in tips, if I don't work the graveyard shift… God, I'm exhausted. I didn't even have time to shower this morning." Sango said with a heavy sigh. She opened the passenger door, and sat in the new leather interior. Inhaling deeply, she murmured, "I love the smell of leather…" She curled up, and quickly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
Miroku ran a hand through his dark brown hair in contemplation. He had two options at this point. Option number one: Kill Kouga, and bring Kagome his head to cheer her up. Option number two: Cheer Kagome up the usual way. As much fun as option number one sounded, option two was considerably more legal.
"Kagome…" Miroku murmured comfortingly, and added quickly, "I'll let you do the thing." Kagomes' head instantly shot up, and her tears stopped flowing.
"Really? You'll let me do it? I though you said last time was the last, though…" Despite her recent break-up, a smile was quickly tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Miroku grimaced, and sat down beside his childhood friend. "If it makes you feel better, then I'll do it. You're my best buddy, Kagome, and I'll do it if you promise not to mope anymore."
Kagome tackled the boy with a hug, and squealed in delight. "I love you, Miroku! You're my most absolute favorite person in the world!"
"But you'll have to wait, like, an hour. I've gotta go do this stupid egg thing with Sango." Miroku said, and Kagome started to pout. He quickly added, "Don't worry, I'll be there as soon as I can. And, I'll even watch…those...movies with you… You know the ones…"
"You're the best!" Kagome vowed, and stood up. "I guess I'll see you at my house, then. Make sure you bring your pjs, too. Otherwise, it's just not the same." Miroku gave a chuckle and nodded.
"I'll see you soon, Kagome. And you better not cry, until I get there!" Miroku said, pointing a finger at her threateningly. Kagome just giggled, and waved once more. Then, she sped off down the halls to her car.
"So…what's 'The Thing'? I'm also kinda curious what 'Those' movies are, too…" Sango questioned in a dry voice from behind him. Inuyasha chuckled beside her with a smirk.
"Sorry, that's confidential information." Miroku replied with a smile, adding, "Shall we go get some sushi?" Sango rolled her eyes, and turned to Inuyasha.
"I'll see you later, Inuyasha. I've gotta go do the stupid egg thing." She gave him a frown, and a small wave. Turning back to Miroku, she said, "Let's go." Without another word, she started off down the hall.
Miroku tilted his head to the side, watching as Sango swayed her hips in her graceful walk. A growl from Inuyasha made him instantly look back. "You better watch out, pretty boy. Sango isn't just some piece of meat…" Inuyasha muttered darkly, and walked away in the opposite direction. Miroku gulped, and wiped the sweat from his brow. The guy was intense.
He sighed once more. Eggs shouldn't be projects. They should just be eaten… That was the trouble with eggs. They make you do things that you just don't want to.