A year after Serenity's crew lost two of their members and released the secret of Miranda found Jayne in the cargo bay. A slight humming above him alerted him to River's presence. She danced gracefully on the walks above and it cracked a small smile on Jayne's face. At first it had weirded him out, not to even be able to tell when they hit atmo. But Jayne had to give the girl her due, River flew just as well as Wash had. They'd been getting along sorta well in the past year and sometimes he even told her so. Cap said once that they had great cama-rad-erie… or somethin'. She disappeared into the mess as Jayne resumed laboring below in the cargo bay.
Her landings were getting to beimpercetable as well, only very slight rocking that didn't even disturb him in his work—for which he was thankful. Jayne being the only one strong enough to move the gorram crates meant that they were pretty heavy. And dropping them on his feet due to clumsy flying was not something he wanted to get into. But it hadn't happened once since she started flying Serenity.
Ruttin' hell, these things are heavy, he thought grumpily. Just pushin' 'em 'cross the cargo bay was hard labor. Jayne was definitely ready to vote this as the last time they transported fitness equipment to the Core. Jayne liked lifting weights in his spare time, not struggling twenty crates of them across the bay and into storage. What's worse, he'd have to take them out again in about two weeks. Captain should have at least tried to help, Jayne mentally grumbled.
Said lazy hundan of a Captain was walkin' down the stairs into the bay to check on the progress once Jayne was almost done. "We all set Jayne?" he asked. The merc sighed, looking at him in irritation.
"Well, Cap, how many crates d'ya see out? One? That's right. So, we're almost done." Cap'n looked a tad too amused for Jayne's liking and bigger man scowled.
"What's takin' so long?" Cap'n Lazypants asked… Cap'n TightANDLazypants asked.
"Well Sarge." Jayne said sarcastically, while putting all his muscle behind the very last crate. "Since'n you've so very smartly decided to transport weights, which only I seem to be man enough to move about, and I can't even store 'em all on one side of the boat cuz that'll tip us 'nough to crash once we hit earth gravity, I've had to take my time with this." The large merc gritted out bitterly.
"Jayne, hard labor's what I pay ya for." Mal replied, his tone no longer joking.
Jayne wisely decided not to point out that what Mal actually paid him for was shootin' folk down and generally being scary. "S'almost done in any case." Jayne said, shoving the last crate all the way into the storage alcove. He fixed the fake bit of wall that covered it back into place, then rested against the wall and panted heavily.
The pitter patter of tiny feet in combat boots turned both men's heads. River was walking down the stairs to the bay was a large drink in her hand. It was red and there were... real strawberries perched on the edge! Jayne's mouth watered. "You makin' yerself fancy drinks now, Lil' Albatross?" Mal asked, grinning at the pilot.
River shook her head. "Not for me." She said, coming to a stop next to him.
"Aw thanks, mei-mei!" He said, reaching for the drink. But River slapped his hand away quickly.
"I love my Captain, but this is not for him." She said, grinning mischievously and walking calmly into the bay and right over to Jayne. She handed the drink to him and he took it with a grin and a smug look in Mal's direction.
Bringing the drink to his lips he took a careful sip, not knowing what the drink was. His eyes rolled back in his head and he groaned. That was ruttin' tasty. "River, I think Imma hafta marry you." He rasped, almost passed out from how heavenly the drink was. It was like lemonade but not. And it also tasted like strawberries at the same time. And vodka, a healthy amount of that too. She laughed and reached up on her tip toes to pat him on the head.
"I could feel your fatigue. You deserved a nice drink."
"Captain doesn't deserve a nice drink?" Mal whined, arms crossed over his chest and looking on in relative disbelief.
Jayne huddled the drink protectively against his chest. "No, this here's MY tasty bev-er-age." Inara and Kaylee could be heard tittering with laughter up above but Jayne didn't care. He took another sip of his drink and nearly all the tension leaked out of his body. "Ta ma duh, Riv, what is this thing?" He mumbled.
"It's strawberry lemonade. Kaylee was mixing a big pitcher in the mess and I decided to bring you a glass. But I added alcohol. I hope you don't mind."
"Honey you could bring me engine grease with alcohol and I'd drink it. Uh... though this would be my first choice. Don't go trying that engine grease thing. I was being fig'rative-like." He said, taking a deep pull of the lemonade. Din' right now why he was bein' so chatty, but River tended to bring that out in him. He knew that, now that they occasionally talked.
"Dunno Jayne," Mal said, grinning again. "Seen ya drink worse."
Jayne scowled at him and walked over to the weight bench, intending to sit down while he enjoyed his drink.
"Aint you just hi-larious." River followed him over and offered him a hankerchief. He gratefully took it and wiped off his forehead. "Aint you just all kinds'a useful today?" He said, teasing.
"Well if I'm to win your heart, I must put on a good show." She said, solely for the benefit of teasing Mal, who could hear what they were saying.
"That aint funny, lil' witch!"
"Yes it it." Chorused the rest of the crew, who were now on the catwalk watching. Even Simon thought it was mildly amusing when Jayne and River would get into this streak of teasing Mal. Mostly because somebody else was getting' a taste of it, for a change.
River was really getting back to herself, which meant she was a real brat sometimes. And she could tease like no one's business. Mal was her new favorite target. "But Captain, Jayne is so manly and strong! How can I resist? Take me Jayne, I'm yours." She said, dramatically falling into Jayne's lap and throwing her arms around him, though careful not to upset his drink.
"Pressure's jus' too much, Cap!" He deadpanned. "Crazy's so hot and I want her so bad, I gotta have her. Right here, right now. Baby, I'm gonna show you a whole new world." River was laughing heartily in his lap and he had to put his drink down for fear of spilling it. Kaylee had just about busted a gut trying to hide her giggles and Inara was in similar shape. Zoe even cracked a small grin. Simon was shaking his head but still chuckling. Mal, however, was not amused.
"I know ya'll like to poke fun at me, but that's NOT funny. You two better not be sexin' behind my back."
"Would ya rather we sex in front a' ya Cap?" Jayne said, smirking almost evilly and shifted River to a rather provocative position in his lap. One leg on either side of his. She played along and actually wrapped her legs around his hips. Jayne raised a handsome eyebrow at her and she tipped him a wink.
"All kidding aside Captain, Jayne is a very attractive male. I wouldn't be adverse to him taking our relationship to another level." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck and playing with the hair at the base of his neck. Jayne found that to be surprisingly arousing and tried to play through it.
The look in her eyes though... he could tell she wasn't entirely kidding. He smirked a little bit, liking how the idea sounded in his head. River Tam cozying up along side o' him. She was a fine looking woman, and real good company to boot. "An' I aint jokin' when I say she aint ugly. Best damn pair a' stems I seen in a long gorram while." He said in a low rumbling tone, stroking his calloused palms up her legs. Testing the waters as well as copping a feel.
River's eyes darkened a little bit and there was a moment of slight awkwardness between the two. The crew weren't really sure what to think of the current development. The two had locked eyes in a silent question. Would you really? And they answered each other simultaneously. Yes.
"OK! 'Nough of this. I don't get it and less'n somebody explains it to me logical like I won't have none of it on my ship." Mal said, and a vein in his neck was twitching. When the pair didn't budge, he reddened a bit. "K, this just aint natural. Don' make no sense and I'll have no more of it on my ship!"
"When does love ever make sense, Mal?" Inara said softly, looking at River and Jayne with interest.
River giggled softly to herself. "How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?" Jayne gave everyone a good shock by not freaking out and throwing her off him when she said 'love'. All the merc did was tilt his head and consider her from a new angle.
Mal sputtered at her and looked to the Doc for reinforcement. Simon shrugged. "Mei-mei, the Captain may soon have an aneurism. I might be wise to get off Jayne now."
"Ya don't got a problem with this?" Mal said, equal parts outraged and shocked. Simon frowned, shifting awkwardly in place. Finally he spoke, uncertain at first but growing stronger by the end.
"She's a grown adult… and finally showing improvement in her treatment. I'll put it this way… you count her well enough to pilot the ship, and I count her well enough to make her own decisions. You may not always approve of the course she chooses but you back her all the same, because she knows what she's doing."
Everyone turned and stared at Simon. River and Jayne even broke their moment to consider what he had just said.
"Gee Doc, if only you could say things like that to Kaylee you'd be all set." Zoe muttered wryly. Simon got a bit rosy in his cheeks.
"Thank you, Simon." River said softly.
"Love you, mei-mei." He replied, still blushing from Zoe's playful barb.
"I love you too."
"Will you make me a tasty drink later?"
"Of course." Maybe it was that he was the only one not being provided with a tasty drink, but Mal went off the deep end.
"GORRAMIT! This has gone far enough, River, get off of Jayne and stop being so… so happy and creepy together." He said, with a tone that suggested he genuinely thought what he'd said made any sense at all.
Inara sighed heavily. "Mal, could you not be Joseph Stalin for two seconds?"
"I am not a Stalin! What's a Stalin?"
"A Russian dictator famous for his cruelty and brainwashing of an entire generation of his people on earth that was." River answered.
Mal looked at Inara with a petulant frown. "That's just mean."
"And so are you, leave them alone." She returned breezily, turning and walking back in the direction she came from. Mal huffed angrily and rushed after her to have the last word. Zoe, Simon and Kaylee followed out of sheer curiosity.
After a moment to register that Inara had manufactured them some alone time, River and Jayne turned to each other and bust out laughing. "Remind me to thank Inara." River said, still giggling.
"Yeah, without her help I never would have gotten you alone for your first kiss." River had meant to say "Shuh muh?" but had only gotten so far as "Sh—" before Jayne's mouth descended on hers.
Never having been kissed before she couldn't really observe it as either good or bad, only that she felt like her stomach had expanded to twice its normal size and her head felt fuzzy and blissfully empty. And that that was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. When they broke apart a bit short for breathe she whispered. "I was under the impression that you never kissed 'em on the mouth."
He responded with a short but sultry kiss. "Well 'them' don' include crazy mind readin' genius assassins, got me? Them I sure as hell kiss on the mouth." And he illustrated his point quite thoroughly.
Mal just gave up entirely when he walked in on them five minutes later. There was no way he could put a stop to it at this point.