Redemption
The year is 1195 and I, Sir Guy of Gisborne have done many things in my life that I have regretted. I was just 21 years of age when Vaisey, the Sheriff of Nottingham offered me the opportunity to reinstate the Gisborne name within society. Having been witnessed to a life that tainted the Gisborne name and had uprooted my younger sister, Isabella and I from the only home we'd ever known, I took the offer with both hands,
Years went by and I gave witness to an era where the merciless man I called my master taught me that if I wanted position and power in the world, there was no fair price to pay. You needed to be callous, cunning and manipulative if you wanted position thus, with his tight control and careful watch of my every move I turned into his vengeful right-hand man, who terrorized the people into submission. His control and sadistic ways led to power and I was able to reestablish the Gisborne family name in the world. I have spent the last 22 years following the orders from a man who taught me that caring for humanity mattered little and his schemes have turned me into the beast I am today. He has taught me that there is no hope left in the world to turn back. Because of him, my heart has turned to poison and because of his Machiavellian tactics, he has turned my life into a living nightmare.
I have been in his company too long and because of what I have done; my life has never been able to escape the living pit of Hell. I was at first afraid of what Hell held for me but, after my actions I do not fear the dark abyss for I am already there. Wearing these black leather gloves are my only salvation left as by doing Vaisey's deeds, killing those lowly peasants with covered hands I am able to cleanse myself from these sins. Though not completely and if my bare hands wrap around the hilt of my sword and I run it through someone, I fear that any hope of redeeming myself will be impossible. Nothing could cleanse my bare hands from the amount of blood I have spilled over these years.
If I could escape Vaisey's control, I would but his control has become the only thing I have ever known. If I escape now, he will surely come after me. I would gladly take his life in mere seconds if I had the chance, but Vaisey has influence and surely if I killed him the Black Knights will take revenge.
Though I would like to blame Vaisey for turning me into this cold-hearted beast I am today, my life had been black even before I met him.
The black leather glove tightens in the heat and enwraps my fingers. As the leather tightens, the touch lingers and becomes the ethereal touch of a softer hand, a hand that fits perfectly into mine. It's the hand of someone who was uprooted from the world that once protected her.
Isabella, my little sister. A little sister who once looked up to her older brother and idolized him as her knight in shining armour from one of her fairy tales. She was the first self-inflicted sacrifice. The first to become a pawn in my ambitious plans. She was but thirteen years old when I married her off to Squire Thornton and I, too concerned about my status happily gave her away. Looking back I now realize how wrong I was. Why can't I just accept that what I did was wrong? Why can't I accept that I was too selfish to realize how hurt she was when I gave her to a man who I though would protect her?
Because then it would mean accepting that what I did only benefitted one person, me. It would mean me accepting that I had failed my promise. I had failed my little sister. I had broken my promise to my mother that I would protect her, as an older brother should.
More years went by and I never saw Isabella after the arrangement with Thornton. It wasn't until I was the henchman for Vaisey that I reunited with Isabella.
Our reunion was not that of lost siblings being happily reunited after many long years, but of those who had a deep hatred for one another. Our relationship had changed and both of our ambitious personalities got in the way of there ever being a reconciliation between us. Our deep hatred for one another could not be over turned. If I could turn back the years, and ask her to forgive me, I would be able to be the brother she once knew rather than who I am today. I would be the brother she had always wanted. I wish I could tell her that, although what I did was for my own ambitions and it may have seemed to her that I no longer cared about her, I never stopped loving her. For she was my baby sister and I, was her older brother. Though being the man I had become, she would have not want an older brother like me. If I hadn't been so blinded by my own selfish plans, I would have been the brother she had known. I would have been the brother she had wanted before I became the beast Vaisey created.
Though it made me sick to the stomach at the thought of what I was doing under Vaisey's orders, I held within my heart hope that someday I would be able to redeem myself from my sins. Marian, my one true love and only hope for redemption kept me living this Hell. I knew that my love for her was the only thing that kept me doing day- to- day chores. She was my road to salvation and with her I was able to carry out Vaisey's orders. With each passing moment, I grew to love her more and I thought that she would love me in return. However, I was wrong. She did not love me, her affections were that of my nemesis, Robin Hood, Earl of Huntington and Lord of Locksley. She toyed with my feelings and played me but although she did not return my affections, I kept on holding on to the hope that one day her love for me would grow as mine did for her. I was wrong about that too. Though I do not blame her, considering the wretched man I was or rather had become. Nonetheless, that was nothing compared to the wretched thing I did to her.
Words I dreaded to hear, though knew were true fell from her mouth and my obsessive love for her got the better of me. I felt the hilt of the sword in my hand and in a flash before my eyes I had her body in my grasp and ran the sword through her. Her lifeless body fell from my grasp and those once beautiful blue eyes gazed up at me, glassy. Her face is forever imprinted in my mind and on most nights, her vision haunts me until I thrash about unable to wipe those horrific images from my mind.
From that day forward I fall deeper into the abyss and I don't even care anymore. Without her my world has turned to ash. I'm like a lifeless soul wandering the earth, with the only hope left is to die and leave this forsaken Hell.
My chance finally comes when I die at the hand of my sister, Isabella and have my final moments in the arms of my nemesis, though now half brother, Robin Hood and my other younger half brother, Archer.
I may have lived in shame but tonight, I die proud. And with my last breath I'm free.