[Is it on? That doesn't answer my question! Okay, thank you…]
My name is Danielle, or Dani Cypress. I'm 12 1/2 years old, and I currently live in the mysterious Gravity Falls, Oregon. I tend to be a bit nosy at times [Oh, stop laughing Dipper!], but honestly I'm nice and funny if you're nice to me [and if not, you're going to end up like Dipper if he doesn't stop giggling. You too Mabel!]. My twin brother, whom I also wish would shut his trap, is Kaiden, but everyone calls him Kaid. I'm sorry we had to record this, because it's kind of a long story, and I'm a bit of an over explainer so if I wrote this, it would take at least a million pages. The two terrible laughing twins with me are Mabel and Dipper Pines. We're currently in their Great Uncle Stan's attic, and we're lucky to even be in this beat up tourist trap.
Now, I know what you're thinking right now. What the heck is this little girl telling me?! I know it sounds crazy, but there is a small explanation. Gravity Falls is… unique? Bad answer, um,… Gravity Falls has monsters, ghouls, and other freaks and creeps, literally. Not joking. Won't believe me? Then listen to my story…