AN: This is sort of a follow-up to Harry Potter and the Adventure of Seeing AVPM, Harry Potter and the Very Potter Sequel, and It's Senior Year by charmed-star11. I asked and have gotten permission to use the 'verse Charm created. Note that as Charm has yet to finish It's Senior Year, I will not use any information that Charm hasn't put in It's Senior Year yet, so there are no spoilers for that.
Also, know that normal text is real life, italics is when I/the person showing them the videos is sending a message to them (as in Charm's stories), bold is the musical itself, and bold and italics is singing in the musical. And I apologize in advance if I get any dialogue wrong. It's sometimes difficult to understand them on the YouTube videos. I did the best I could.
*After finishing watching AVPSY*
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Neville, Luna, and the three professors stare at the blank screen.
"It's over," Harry said solemnly.
"There's no more Harry Potter parody musicals," Ron affirmed.
"Oddly, I don't want to go back to Hogwarts yet," Luna said. The others nodded in agreement.
"Particularly after the emotions the end of Senior Year induced," Hermione agreed.
You know, there are other musicals done by this production group.
"That's right! You remember Super Friends, right?" Hermione asked. "The one where they were all in spandex?" Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Draco nodded, recalling the fun musical number.
"I don't know if I'd want to watch that, though," Draco responded. "I think there would be too many things that we wouldn't understand because they're in the Muggle world."
"I agree with Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger," Professor Dumbledore answered.
Professor McGonagall spoke up, "If it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather go back to Hogwarts, Albus."
"As would I," agreed Snape.
"I believe that's alright, Minerva, Severus. I'll stay and supervise the children. I rather enjoy these musicals," Dumbledore replied. The stones with McGonagall and Snape's initials on them materialized. The two professors picked up their respective stones and vanished in a white flash.
"Yeah, you're right," Hermione said in response to Draco and Dumbledore. "Well, what other musicals are there?"
Well, besides Holy Musical B man, there's a Disney parody called Twisted, a science-fiction type musical called Starship and a coming-of-age story called Me and My Dick.
"Me and My Dick? What's that about?" Ron couldn't help but ask.
"Oh, I love coming-of-age stories," Luna claimed excitedly.
Me and My Dick, often shortened to MAMD, is about a teenaged boy and his relationship with his best friend, his personified penis. The actors that play Draco, Hermione, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor McGonagall don't have roles in this, and Harry's actor only has a small cameo, but it is a very funny musical.
"So mine and Ron's actor's are in that. And so is Neville's," Ginny pointed out.
"Is mine?" Luna asked the screen.
In a way, Luna. The actress who plays you in the movies and in AVPSY is not, no. But the actress who plays you at the end of AVPS is.
"A personified penis?" Ron was excited. "That can only lead to disaster and hilarity. Let's watch it."
The others laughed at Ron quoting his character in the musical and agreed. The screen flickered slightly as it started the musical. The teenagers settled into their spots as the music started playing. "Oh, cool. Is that the guy who plays me?"
Hermione: Yeah, Ron. I think it is.
Ron: Sweet. He's the main character in this one.
Joey: I wake up in the morning and it's nothing new. Run through my mind for hours, still I just want you. You're all I want. You're all I need. My love for you just grows the way you do when I love you.
Ginny: Wait, what?
Hermione: Yeah, I could have sworn this was about a girl he likes.
Joey: I want to hold you all night long and cuddle 'til we're blue.
Ron: Um, that's not a good thing.
Ginny: I think they know that, Ronald. It's meant to be funny.
Joey: Hold you in a tight embrace. I know it seems taboo. But I have to have you with me now. I have to have you quick. I love you more than anything...my dick.
Dick: Hello!
The group laughed.
Neville: So that's what a personified penis looks like.
Ginny: Why does it not surprise me that the guy who plays You-Know-Who and Umbridge also plays a personified penis?
Dick: Good morning, Joey.
Joey: Well, speak of the devil.
Dick: I've been up for a while, but I didn't want to wake you. Your mom walked in; I just said hi.
Teens: Awkward...
Joey: Dick, I told you. If you wake up before me and someone walks in, just roll us over onto the side. No one's supposed to see you, especially my mom.
Hermione: Well, I would think she'd already seen him, since she probably bathed him growing up.
Ron: No teenage guy would want their mum to see their dick, Hermione.
Hermione: I know that, Ron. I'm just saying.
Harry: Guys, shut up. I wanna watch the musical.
Dick: Well, geez. Joey, how's a guy supposed to have a sex life around here if you keep him covered up all the time?
The group collectively expressed disgust at the images that sentence produced.
Dick: I'm feeling a little stuffy.
Joey: You want to have sex with my mom?
Dick: Maybe.
The teenagers started laughing. "The look on his face is priceless!" Draco laughed.
Dick: Joey, I'm kidding. I don't want to have sex with Mom. That would ground us.
The kids laughed harder. Even Dumbledore got a chuckle out of it.
Dick: But seriously, we gotta punch in that V-card sooner or later. I mean, you're a senior in high school; never even seen a boobie.
Ron: Hermione, what age would he be if he's a senior in high school?
Hermione: Probably about 17 or 18, why?
Ron: 17 or 18 and he's still a virgin?
Hermione: It's not that uncommon, Ron.
Dumbledore: Mr. Weasley, do I need to inquire again what occurs in the dormitories?
Ron blushed and responded, "No, Professor."
Joey: We-
Dick: A girl boobie.
Joey: Oh. Well, you don't think I wanna have sex. Did it ever occur to you that it's hard for a boy to lose his virginity when he's the biggest loser in school because he has an out-of-control dick who always gets me into trouble?
Dick: Joey! You're not a loser. It's just that nobody really likes you.
Draco: Well, that's a vote of confidence.
Joey: Good grief.
Hermione and Harry burst out laughing at that. The others looked confused.
Neville: What?
Harry: It's a Muggle thing. That's one of the most famous sayings of Charlie Brown.
Luna: Who's Charlie Brown?
Hermione: He's from an American comic strip, Peanuts. He's rather pessimistic and kind of a loser who nobody really likes.
Dick: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a dick,
Ron: Yeah, sure you don't.
Dick: but hey! Look at the bright side.
Lyrics showed up on the screen.
Harry: Want to sing along, Ron?
Ron: You bet, good buddy.
Harry: I'll be Dick, you be Joey.
Ron: Okay.
Dick: I like being with you.
Joey: I like being with you.
Dick: You like being with me.
Joey: You like being with me.
Both: We're just the best of friends, as anyone can see. People say it's quite unlikely the two of us should stick.
Neville: Ok, why wouldn't they stick? They're kind of attached.
Ginny: I don't even know, Neville.
Joey: Ha!
Both: But I just tell 'em, hey. It's me and my dick.
Ron and Harry sit back down.
Dick: Sorry about this, Joey, but I kinda drooled on your sheets last night.
Teens: EW!
Joey: Come on, I just washed those!
Dick: Well, sorry, but I'm not the one having sexy dreams about that hot little Jewish girl from school.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Vanessa.
Dick: You're doing it again, you rapscallion.
The room burst into laughter again.
Joey: It's not just that. It's just that she's cute and fun and intellectual.
Ginny: Well, at least he likes her for more than just her looks.
Dick: And hot and little and Jewish. I know. And she's got those dancing legs. And those nice, round BOOBIES!
Hermione:And...Dick ruined it.
Ginny: Yep.
Joey: Alright, alright, just calm down, Dick. Besides, she's got a boyfriend and they've been dating for three years. And she's probably gonna get married to him and have a million babies that are all hotter and more Jewish than I am.
Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where do you think you're going? You gotta take care of this. You got me all excited.
Joey: Dick, we don't have time today.
Dick: It'll hurt if you don't.
Joey: Okay. (Dick exclaims in delight)
Draco: Well, it didn't take much to persuade him.
The lyrics returned to the screen and Harry and Ron jumped up.
Joey: We'll stick together.
Dick: We'll stick together.
Joey: Fight through thick and thin.
Dick: Fight through thick and thin.
Both: If we stay side by side, there's no way we can't win.
Joey: Any girl that's out there.
Dick: Any girl that's out there.
Joey: Any girl at all.
Dick: Any girl at all.
Both: When she gets going with us, she's sure to have a ball.
The teens laughed yet again.
Ginny: They had to, didn't they?
Hermione: I think so, Gin. I think so.
Dick: Hey! Be careful with that joke. It's an antique.
Both: People say how do you do it? How can you be slick? But I just tell 'em, hey. It's me and my dick.
Luna: Yes, I think that's how you would do that if your penis walked and talked.
Neville: Doesn't make it any less creepy, Luna.
Ron: If by creepy, you mean hilarious.
Joey: Yeah, there she is.
Dick: Oh, I see her.
Joey: Leaning on her locker with her big brown eyes. And she's taking off her shirt and her pants.
Dick: Yeah, keep going.
Joey: And we're doing a sexytime dance. She's running her hands down my underpants.
Both: Buddy, this is our chance!
Sally: JOEY! (Joey and Dick exclaim in surprise)
The boys groaned at the interruption.
Harry: Man, that sucks.
Ron: Yeah, totally.
Sally: You ready to go to school?
Ginny: Great, her voice is annoying in this, too.
Luna: There's probably a good reason for it.
Joey: Yeah, hold on.
Dick: Whoa, is that that ugly-faced Sally, your ugly-faced neighbor? Get her outta here! (Joey shushes Dick)
Sally: Joey, I just wanted to let you know that in order to not be late for school, we should have left 7 minutes ago.
Hermione: Then why didn't you show up then?
Ginny: Shut up, Hermione.
Joey: Ok, Sally, I'll be down in just a second.
Sally: Ok, I'll just be waiting for you outside of your house.
Joey: Ok, Sally, I'll be down in just a second.
Sally: Okay!
Dick: Geez, Joey. You gotta get some drapes for that window. I'm sick of all these interruptions. I was just about to-
Sally: JOEY! I just wanted to let you know that you can take as much time as you need and if we're late for class? Well, I guess that's okay.
Joey: Okay! Ok, Sally. Fine, just shut up! Shut up!
Sally: Okay.
Dick: Is she gone?
Sally: Yeah, I'm gone.
Draco: Wait, can she hear him?
Harry: I don't even know.
Joey: Yeah, she's gone.
Dick: Alright. Well, let's keep going!
Ginny/Hermione: Of course.
Boys: Hey!
Joey: I don't know, Dick. I'm not in the mood anymore.
Dick: Wha-? Why the hell not?
Joey: Why? Because all I can think about is Sally. And that's just the least sexy thing I can think of.
Ginny: Rude.
Dick: Joey. Now you got me thinking about her. I'm never going to be able to come now. I'm never going to be able to come ever again!
The group of teens laughed.
Ron: Oh my God.
Neville: That was a great representation.
Harry: Do you think he was taking lessons from the girl who played Draco?
Draco: Shut up, Potter.
Harry: Make me.
Dick: Sally, God. She's so...(groans in disgust). She's just like (grunts). And then you're like (grunts). Just like (grunt). I can't even describe her with words. It's like she's just... She's just a salad. (Joey makes a noise of agreement and disgust) Exactly. She's just a salad.
Joey: Salad. I know exactly what you mean. But hey, man, we gotta get ready for school. You made me tardy for class three times last week.
Hermione: Really? You let your penis make you late for class?
Dick: Class. I hate class. Whatever, Joey. You know we don't go to school for class. We go to school for ass.
Harry: What? Just what?
Dick: Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you introduce me to Vanessa?
Joey/Teens: No.
Dick: Come on, it'll be fun. All you have to do is cut a hole in this box (brings out pizza box), put me in the box, and give it to Vanessa. And then she'll open the box and I'll pop out and say "Hello! Big sausage pizza!" (sticks head through hole in box)
Joey: That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Hermione: Honestly.
Ginny: Seriously.
Dick: What?
Joey: One – she has a boyfriend. Two – she probably won't even open the box.
Dick: Well, that's ridiculous. Of course she'll open the box. Jewish girls love pizza.
Hermione: Not if they're kosher.
Harry: What?
Hermione: Jewish people who follow the kosher rules can't eat pizza because it mixes dairy and meat.
Ron: Weird. Why is that?
Hermione: I'm not quite sure.
Dick: The only thing that Jewish girls love more than pizza (puts head in box again) is big sausage pizza! (Joey shakes his head) No?
Joey: No.
Dick: Fine. You don't like that idea. Whatever. Forget about it. I got a billion of 'em. So you really like this Vanessa girl, huh?
Joey: Yeah. More than anything. She's the girl of my dreams.
Dick: Well, Joey. I want you to be happy because when you're happy, I'm happy. Joey, I'm your dick. I love you. And I know sometimes I get you into hilarious misadventures, but I just want you to know that, well, I'm always gonna be there for you.
Ron: I want to know what some of those hilarious misadventures are.
Harry: I'm sure we'll see a couple in this musical.
Joey: I know.
Dick: So what do you say...
Joey: What?
Dick: We stop taking the shaft and grab life by the balls.
Joey: Yeah.
Dick: Yeah! So who cares if Vanessa's got a boyfriend? Screw that asshole. Why does he deserve her more than us? That's right. We're gonna win her over. Joey. I'm gonna get you laid if I have to do it myself.
The room cracked up laughing. "Well, I should hope you do it yourself," Ron laughed. "You are his dick."
Joey: Thanks buddy. Up top. (they high-five)
Both: People say it's quite unlikely the two of us should stick. But I just tell 'em, hey.
Joey: It's me and my dick.
Dick: I like being with you.
Joey: It's me and my dick.
Dick: We'll stick together.
Joey: It's me and my dick.
Dick: Hey man.
Both: It's me and my...dick.
The teenagers started to clap and shout. "Next one! Next one!"
Dumbledore chuckled at their antics and clicked the next one as he said, "Alright, calm down, children."
AN: Sorry if I got any of the Jewish terminology or traditions wrong. I'm not Jewish and all I know about kosher comes from an episode of Postcards from Buster. Which was like, a million years ago. Disclaimer: I do not own MAMD or the Harry Potter characters. All I own is a laptop and an overactive imagination. Reviews make me happy inside, so please leave one.