HI all, I am working on my other stories I promise. I just needed to get this out. Chances are it will be a one shot, unless you as the reviewers say differently. It might have one more chapter.

I guess it's for those moments when you remember that ex and how good it was, and miss those moments. Whether you'd take them back or not is a moot point, so here's a story for those moments.

Dislcaimer: Timbaland and One republic wrote "Apologize" I claim no credit but that's what I was listening to when I wrote this. I also don't own the character, don't sue me, I'll put them back when I am done.

The rain poured down and hit the pavement. Callie closed her eyes and isolating the noise heard the plop plop of the drops as the hit the pavement. She scrubbed her hands across her face; it had been a long day. Her thoughts strayed to Arizona and she sighed heavily. It had been several months since Arizona had come back and her heart ached. The rain continued to fall, the drops soaking the earth and a chill ran up her spine. She knew she needed to get back to the hospital, but somehow being this close to Arizona was killing her, of course she'd never admit it. Her hands covered her face as she listened to the sound of the drops falling. She had been to hell and back and wrangled her heart and emotions into forgetting the beautiful blond, it took everything she had not to say fuck it and open her heart again. No, No she wouldn't let the tables be turned again, plus she had Sophia to think of. Bringing her knees into a Indian style sitting position she closed her eyes and allowed the sound of the rain to fill her thoughts. She reminded herself that they were 'just friends.'

Arizona leaned against the wall not to far away and watched as Callie sat with her legs folded underneath her, eyes closed, rain pouring down her skin and she seemed to be meditating. Truth be told Arizona missed her strong arms, missed her soft heated kisses, missed everything about her. She came back from Africa with the intention of loving Calliope Torres, and instead had been handed 'let's just be friends instead'. They had been hanging out together, enjoying time with Sophia, had even taken a yoga class together. They were having dinner tonight and somehow Arizona knew she was going to struggle, not to take Callie in her arms and hold her close. God, she was beautiful. The rain washed down her face caressing it as it went and at that moment Arizona wanted nothing more than to be the rain. They were good friends, enjoyed laughing and had a lot in common. There were moments, when Arizona felt a glimmer of hope, when Callie's brown eyes would give her away and Arizona would see the desire there. With a sigh she headed back into the hospital remembering the week she had come home and the first conversation she had with Callie.

Arizona took a deep breath as she headed up the steps to Callie's apartment. She had left Africa to come back and be with the woman she loved. She knocked on the door, hearing laughter inside and the door swung open revealing Callie's thousand watt smile, that faded when she saw Arizona.

"Zona?"

Arizona smiled her dimples showing through.

"Calliope."

"What are you doing here?"

Arizona struggled when she heard those words out of Callie's mouth and her face fell when Addie walked in with a small child. Anger filled the blue eyes as Addison curtly nodded to her.

"Arizona."

"Addison."

Callie took the small baby and smiled at Arizona.

"Ari this is my daughter Sophia."

Arizona's eyes registered in shock, she scrubbed her hands through her hair.

"Calliope can we go somewhere and talk please?"

Callie nodded and looking at Addison who just nodded and waved her off.

"Go, we'll be here when you get back."

Callie nodded and grabbing her keys and leather jacket she followed Arizona out the door.

They walked in silence in the crisp autumn air until they reached a park and Callie broke the silence.

"It was a one night stand. I was hurting, more than devastated when you felt Ari. Mark was a good friend and in some ways I just wanted to drown myself, to lose myself in anything to forget you. I knew it was wrong, so did Mark, but it happened, I got pregnant, and because I always wanted kids I kept her. Shes's fucking beautiful, perfect, a lot like Mark. We've kind of as a staff raised her. Its been a lot of fun"

Arizona nodded numbly Calliope's confession stabbing her it hurt. She knew she had hurt the fiery latino, but never realized how much until that moment. It had killed her to leave, every day she spent in Malawi had been another moment she hated herself for leaving the brunnete. She loved her. Loved her so much. This was her soulmate. Her first reaction was a deep anger towards Mark. She wanted to feel it was his fault, his coercion and fury that he touched what was hers. Her anger turned then to the woman by her side for giving herself away, for selling herself short and for running to someone else. IN her mind she chastised herself for that thought. It wasn't like Calliope had anyone else to run to. She hadn't been there.

Callie grabbed her hand and gently led her over to a bench, gently sitting her down. She watched the play of emotion as Arizona digested and reacted to the news. In truth Callie had tried hard to move on. Sophia was her main concern now, and she had cried, screamed, sobbed, yelled cursed, gotten dead off her ass drunk to get over this woman on the bench next to her. Finally after several minutes of silence Arizona looked at her.

"Ok."

"That's it? Just ok?"

Arizona nodded.

"It's a lot to take in, and I don't like the idea, however, I love you Calliope. So ok."

Callie nodded.

"Allright then. Zona, what are you doing here?"

"I came back for you. I'm sorry I left." Her hand came up and caressed Callie's cheek and Callie closed her eyes allowing the pain to show through. "I know it will take time, but I'm not leaving again, I'm not going anywhere, I want you. I want to live a life with you, to love you. You can hate me, you can be pissed at me hell you can hit me, but I came back Calliope. Sophia is our daughter if you want her to be, I love you, I want you, I want to spend my life with you.'

"no."

"No?"

"Zona, you fucking left me, you went and followed your dream and I respected that. You didn't even give me a choice to come. I was willing to make that sacrifice for you once and you walked away. I was struggling with my passive aggressive bullshit, I get it, but I love you. God, Arizona I loved you. Yes, I was struggling and I get that I was ruining it for you. God, I was so proud of you, I was just being selfish and bitchy, babe I got that. I got it Arizona. I was trying so hard, but after you left, after you walked on that plane I couldn't do it. God dammit I broke as a person, I smoked and drank myself into oblivion. I wanted you Arizona, you were what I wanted. You broke up with me, so I never called. I wanted to, I would lay awake nights crying my eyes out, wanting to touch you, wanting to kiss you, wanting to love you and I couldn't. I went through hell to get over you, hell and back. So no Ari, its to fucking late. Its to late to apologize, its just too fucking late. I'm sorry, I have a daughter to think of. "

Arizona struggled as tears fell down her face.

"Cal.."

"No. You don't get to apologize. Look I think it would be better if we just be friends. We have to see each other around the hospital, I care about you and for you. It's just to late, to much has happened. I need to get my daughter, I have her to think about now. I'll call you in a few days and we'll go get a drink. Friends, good friends, nothing more."

With that Callie reached out and hugged her softly.

"I'm sorry, I can't take a chance."

Arizona hugged her back, tears streaming down her face. Callie's heart broke as she saw the tears and reaching out gently she brushed a few away with her thumb.

"Good bye Ari. I'll call you ok?"

Arizona nodded and offered a small smile and as she watched the autumn leaves scatter in the wind, she felt her heart break into tiny little pieces.

Arizona sighed as she walked through the halls of the hospital. That was how it had been for almost a year now, she had taken the time to get to know Sophia and in many ways Callie had at least allowed her that. She had enjoyed those times, the times when they felt like a family. She had tried to move on. tried to completely say goodbye yet she never could. She knew her heart belonged to Calliope. She had had a short relationship with another woman, but she always found herself comparing her and though the sex was great ( of course not as good as it was with Calliope), it wasn't Callie. It wasn't the woman she loved and who owned her heart. She walked into the hospital finished her day, putting on a happy face for her kids, treated them as necessary never letting them know that deep down inside she was incredibly broken and hurting. At the end of her shift she changed out of her scrubs, amazed at herself that even kick ass surgeries where she rocked them didn't make a difference. With a deep sigh Arizona slipped out and went home to make dinner. Her key inserted into the door and she peeled off her jacket and headed back to the bedroom. It fell to the dloor and she cranked the stereo turning on a Justin Timberlake and Eminem mashup Stepping into the shower the warm water cascaded down her body as she listened to the words. What goes around. Dammit wasn't that the truth?

"I love you Arizona."

Hands caressed her body, Callie's hands, treasuring every curve, every love handle, every muscle twitched as the hand caressed Arizona's body. Arizona felt Callie's head bend as she kissed down Arizona's neck, biting gently in all the right places. A warm mouth enclosed her nipple and suckled leaving Arizona groaning and panting against the wall.
"Calliope no teasing."

Callie hummed into her skin and broke away releasing Arizona's breast with a gently pop and her fingers traveled down and south and inserted gently into her lover. Arizona moaned her hips gyrating against her lovers fingers. She felt the obsidian eyes burning into her closed ones and gasped when she opened her eyes and met Callie's. She was mesmerized by the almost black eyes that were filled with a deep deep desire fr her and her alone.

"I love you Arizona."

Arizona came hard against her lovers hand as the water cascaded over them. Taking a moment she took a deep breath and met her lovers eyes once more.

"I love you to Calliope Torres."

Arizona came out of her daydream as a sob escaped her throat, that had been the night before she left for Africa. She had just been following her dreams, were they really worth what she was losing. A deep anger at herself filler her as her fists hit the tile of her shower.

"FUCK!" She pounded them until her hands could take no more and she sank to the floor burying her wet head in her hands as sobs racked her body.

It was too late to apologize.